Cowboy's Redemption

by B. J Daniels

  Julia looked at him as if she thought no one would be that daft. “Wyatt. I was just so lonely, and it looked as if you were never going to quit the military and come home...”

  “How did you two get together? I always thought Wyatt didn’t like you.”

  She mugged a face at him. “You don’t need to be cruel.”

  “I’m serious. He never had a good word to say about you. Or was he just trying to keep his feelings for you from me?”

  “I have no idea. And I don’t care. He probably didn’t like me. Maybe that’s why we aren’t together anymore.”

  Colt realized he wasn’t surprised. Julia hadn’t gotten him to the altar. He remembered that had been the case with an earlier boyfriend, too. Looked like there was a pattern there, he thought but kept it to himself.

  “That’s too bad.”

  “I can tell that you’re really broken up over it.”

  After the initial shock had worn off, he’d actually thought Julia and Wyatt wouldn’t last. Julia was beautiful in a classic way, but definitely high maintenance. He could see that clearly after being around Lola. As for Wyatt, well, he’d never had a serious girlfriend. He’d always preferred playing the field, as he called it.

  “I’m sincerely sorry it didn’t work out. Is that all?”

  “Colt, stop being so mean.” She sounded close to tears. She glanced around to make sure no one had heard her. “I feel so bad about what I did to you.”

  “You shouldn’t.” He realized he meant it. For a while, he’d hoped she choked on the guilt daily. Now he didn’t feel vindictive. He realized he no longer cared.

  “I know how hurt you must be.”

  “I was hurt, Julia. That was one crushing blow you delivered, but I’ve moved on.”

  “With that woman you were with the other day? Are you in love with her?”

  Now there was the question, wasn’t it? “It’s complicated.”

  “It doesn’t have to be.” She reached across the table and covered his hand.

  He pulled his free. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

  She looked at him as if to say, No one can be this dense. “I want you back. I’ll do anything.” She definitely sounded desperate.

  Colt had played with this exact scheme in his mind on those long nights in the desert after she’d dumped him. It had been like a salve that made him feel better. Julia begging to come back to him. Him loving every minute of it before he turned her down flat.

  Now it made him feel uncomfortable because he no longer wanted to hurt her. If anything, he felt indifferent and wondered what he’d ever seen in this woman. He couldn’t help comparing her to Lola. Julia came up way short.

  “Julia, you and I are never getting back together. Truthfully, I doubt we would have made it to the altar.”

  “How can you say that?” she demanded. “You asked me to marry you.”

  “I did. But I didn’t realize then how wrong we were for each other. I overlooked things, thinking they would change once we were married. Now I know better. I’m sure it was the same for you. Otherwise, how could you have fallen so quickly in love with another man?”

  She seemed at a loss for words.

  “So I imagine we both would have realized we weren’t right for each other before we made a huge mistake.”

  Julia stared at him as if looking at a stranger. “I don’t believe this.”

  Had she expected him to take her back at the snap of her fingers? The flutter of her eyelashes? She really hadn’t known him. Even if he’d never met Lola, he wouldn’t have taken Julia back. She’d proved the kind of woman she was—not the kind a man could ever trust.

  Colt got to his feet. “You should try to work things out with Wyatt. Now that I think about it, you two belong together.”

  Her eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. “Do you realize what you’re throwing away? And for what? That...that...woman I saw you with the other day?” She made a distasteful face.

  “Easy, Julia,” he said, lowering his voice. “You really don’t want to say anything about the mother of my child.”

  “What?” she sputtered.

  “Lola and I have a beautiful daughter together.”

  Openmouthed, she stared at him. “Lola? That’s not possible. You can’t have known her long enough to... Are you going to marry her?”

  “I haven’t asked her yet, but you know me. I like to take my time. Also, I’m a little gun-shy after my last engagement.”

  Julia pushed to her feet. He’d never seen her so angry. It made him want to laugh because he realized, with no small amount of relief, that had he married her, he would have seen her like this a lot.

  The one thing he did know was that he was completely over her. No hard feelings. No need for retribution. No need to ever see this woman again.

  “This never happened,” she said with a flip of her head. “You hear me? You’re right. Wyatt and I are perfect together. We’re going to get married and be happy.”

  He smiled. “So you and Wyatt aren’t broken up.” He let out a bark of a laugh. “Good to see that you haven’t changed. Give Wyatt my regards.”

  Julia stormed out. Colt finished his coffee and threw away the cups Julia had left behind. He smiled as he headed for the door. He couldn’t wait to get home to Lola and Grace.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lola saw the change in Colt the moment he walked in the door. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was smiling and seemed...happy.

  “I guess I don’t need to ask how it went.” Her heart had been pounding ever since Julia’s phone call. A woman knows. Julia wanted more than Colt’s forgiveness. A woman like that would try to hold on to him, to keep him in the wings—if she didn’t already want him back.

  Colt met her gaze. “She wants me back.”

  It felt as if a fist had closed around her heart, but she fought not to let him see her pain. “That must seem like a dream come true.”

  He laughed. “I’ll admit at one time it would have been. But no,” he said with a shake of his head as he stepped to her. “It would never have happened even if I hadn’t met you. But now that I have...” He leaned down to kiss her softly on the mouth. As he drew back, he saw that she was frowning.

  “I don’t want you giving up the woman you love because of me and Grace,” she said quickly. “I told you. We can take care of ourselves.”

  “That wasn’t what I meant.” His blue-eyed gaze locked with hers and she felt a bolt of heat shoot to her core. “Julia is the last person on earth that I want.”

  She swallowed. “But you asked her to marry you.”

  “I did.” He chuckled. “And I have no idea why I did. Honestly, I feel as if I dodged a bullet. But I don’t want to talk about her. I want you,” he said as he drew her close again. “Is Grace sleeping?”

  While he’d been gone, Lola had practiced what she was going to say to him. But when she looked up into his blue gaze and saw the desire burning there, it ignited the blaze inside her.

  She told herself that they could have a serious talk later. There was time. Colt was in such a good mood, she didn’t want to bring him down. She cared too much about him. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? She was falling in love with him. And that was why she and Grace had to leave before Colt did something stupid like ask her to stay.

  * * *

  LATER, AFTER MAKING LOVE and falling into a sated sleep, Colt heard Grace wake up from her nap and slipped out of bed to go see to her. “Hi, sweetheart,” he said as he picked her up and carried her over to the changing table. As he changed her, he talked to her, telling her how pretty and sweet she was.

  She was Lola in miniature, from her pert nose to her bow-shaped mouth to her violet eyes. And yet, he saw some of himself in the baby—and knew it might be only because he wanted it to
be true. They hadn’t gotten the DNA results, not that he was worried.

  What bothered him was how much he wanted to see himself in Grace. How much he wanted to tell her about all the things he’d teach her as she grew up. What he wanted to do was talk about the future with Grace—and Lola.

  Getting Lola’s baby back was one thing, but seeing himself in this equation? He would have said the last thing he needed was a family. He was selling the ranch and going back into the service. That had been his plan and he’d always had a plan.

  Now he felt rudderless and aloft, not knowing if he was up or down. What would he do if not go back to flying choppers for the Army? Ranch?

  He stared into Grace’s adorable face, feeling his heart ache at the thought of being away from her. He picked her up, holding her as he felt his heart pounding next to hears. Fatherhood had always been so far off in the future. But now here it was looking back at him with so much trust... He thought of his own father, his parents’ disastrous marriage, how disconnected he’d felt from both of them.

  He knew nothing about being a father or a husband. A part of him felt guilty for asking Julia to marry him. True, he’d put her off for years. It had come down to break up or marry her. He’d thought it was what he’d wanted.

  Now, though, he knew his heart hadn’t been in it. What he’d told Julia earlier had been true. He doubted they would have made it to the altar. After he’d put that diamond—she’d picked it out herself—on her finger, all she’d talked about was the big wedding they would have, the big house, the big life.

  He’d let her talk, not really taking her seriously. He should have, though.

  While Lola... Well, she was different. Her heart was so filled with love for their child that she’d risked her life numerous times. He’d never met anyone like her. And Grace... She smiled and cooed up at him, her gaze meeting his, and he felt her steal another piece of his heart if she hadn’t already taken it all.

  “Does she need changing?” Lola asked from the doorway.

  “All taken care of. She just smiled at me.”

  Lola laughed. “I saw that.” She’d been watching from the doorway, he realized. He wondered how long she’d been there. She was wearing one of his shirts and, he’d bet, nothing under it. She couldn’t have looked sexier.

  His cell phone rang. Lola moved to him to take the baby.

  After pulling out his phone, Colt felt a start when he saw that it was Margaret Barnes, his Realtor, calling. He’d forgotten about her, about listing the ranch. All that seemed like ages ago.

  “Hello?” he said as he headed out of the nursery.

  “Colt, I have some good news for you. I have a buyer for your ranch.”

  For a moment he couldn’t speak. He looked back at Lola and Grace from the doorway. Lola was rocking the baby in her arms, smiling down at her, and Grace was cooing and smiling up at her mother—just as she had done moments before with her father.

  “Colt, are you there?”

  “Yes.” He saw Lola look up as if she heard something in his voice.

  “You said to find a buyer as quickly as I could. If you have some time today, stop by my office. I can get the paperwork all ready. The buyer is fine with your asking price and would like to take possession as soon as possible.”

  He felt as if the earth was crumbling under his feet. Yes, he’d told her to find a buyer and as quickly as possible. But that had been before. Before Lola had shown up at his door in the middle of the night. Before he’d known about Grace.

  “What is it?” Lola asked, seeing his distress as she joined him in the living room. “Bad news?”

  He stood holding his phone after disconnecting. “That was the Realtor.”

  Lola hadn’t asked about the for-sale sign on the road into the ranch and he hadn’t brought it up. But Lola knew what his plans had been months ago. The night they’d met he’d told her he was going to accept another Army assignment rather than resign his commission, like he’d been planning before that night, to marry Julia.

  “Does she have a buyer for the ranch?” Lola asked, giving nothing away.

  He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he’d been expecting. His gaze went to Grace in her arms. He felt his heart breaking. Lately, his only concern had been protecting Lola, getting Grace back and making sure that horrible Jonas didn’t have either of them.

  He hadn’t thought about the future. Hadn’t let himself. “I think we should talk about—” His phone rang again. He checked it, hoping it was the Realtor calling again. He’d tell her he needed more time.

  It was the doctor calling. He glanced at Lola and then picked up. “Doc?” he said into the phone.

  “Your test results are back. You’re welcome to come by and I would be happy to explain anything you didn’t understand about DNA testing.”

  “Let’s just cut to the chase, Doc.”

  Silence hung on the other end of the line for a long few moments. “The infant is a match for both Lola and you, Colt.”

  “Thanks, Doc.” He looked to Lola, who didn’t appear all that interested. Because she’d known all along.

  “Are you all right?” she asked.

  He nodded, but he wasn’t. Grace had fallen back to sleep in her arms. Had there ever been a more beautiful, ethereal-looking child? No wonder Jonas had wanted her. Wanted her and Lola.

  If he looked like a man in pain, he was. Lola and the baby had taken his already topsy-turvy life and given it a tailspin. All he’d wanted just days ago was to get out of this town, out of this state, out from under the ranch his father had left him and the responsibility that came with it.

  Now, though, he no longer wanted to run. He wanted to plant roots. He wanted to make them a family. “I think we should get married.” The words were out and he wasn’t sorry to hear them. But he should have done something romantic, not just blurted them out like that.

  To his surprise, Lola smiled at him. “That’s sweet, but...it’s too early, isn’t it?”

  Too early? Like in the morning or—

  “We hardly know each other.”

  “I’d say we know each other quite well,” he said as he picked up the tail end of his shirt she was wearing.

  She laughed and playfully slapped his hand away as she headed for the spare room that they’d made into a makeshift nursery. “You know what I mean.”

  He followed her and watched as she put Grace down in the crib. “We have a daughter.”

  “Yes, we do. But we can’t get married just for Grace. You know that wouldn’t work.”

  “But neither can I let the two of you walk out that door,” he said.

  “Colt, that door will soon be someone else’s.”

  She had a point.

  “I won’t sell the ranch.”

  She gave him a pointed look. “I owe you my life and Grace’s. But I also owe you something else. Freedom. Grace and I can take care of ourselves now. Jonas is no longer a problem. He isn’t going to bother us, not after the sheriff saw our daughter and knows that Jonas lied about keeping her from me. My parents set aside money for me should I ever need it and I saved the money I made teaching. Grace and I will be fine.”

  “But I won’t be fine.”

  She looked at him, sympathy in her gaze.

  “Lola, I need you. I need you and our daughter. I want us to be a family.”

  Tears welled in her eyes as she tried to pass him. “Colt.”

  He took her in his arms. “I know we haven’t known each other long. But the night we met, we connected in a way that neither of us had before, right?” She nodded, though reluctantly it seemed. “And we’ve been through more than any couple can ever imagine, and yet we worked together and pulled it off against incredible odds. If any two people can make this work, it’s you and me.”

  She smiled sweetly, but he could tell she wasn’t convin
ced. “We’re good together, I won’t deny that. But, Colt, you don’t want to ranch. You admitted that to me the first night we met. Now you’re talking about keeping the ranch just to make a home for me and Grace? No, Colt. You would grow to resent us for tying you down. I see how your eyes light up when you talk about flying helicopters. That’s what you love. That’s where you need to be.”

  He wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. She’d listened to him. She knew him better than even he knew himself. “Still—”

  “No,” she said as she moved down the hallway to the room that they now shared. She began to pick up her clothing. “This is best and we both know it.”

  It didn’t feel like the best thing to do. He’d come to look forward to seeing Lola’s face each morning, hear her singing to the baby at night and spending his days with the two of them.

  “Promise you won’t leave just yet,” he said, panicking at the sight of her getting her things ready.

  She stopped and looked at him. “I’ll stay until the ranch closes so you can spend as much time with Grace as possible. But then we have to go.”

  “It isn’t just Grace I want to spend time with,” he said as he drew her close. He kissed her and told himself he’d figure out something. He had to. Because he couldn’t bear the thought of either of them walking out of his life.

  * * *

  JONAS STUDIED THE woman before him, letting her wait. Sister Rebecca was what was known as a handsome woman. She stood almost six feet tall with straight brown hair cut chin-length. Close to his own age, she wasn’t pretty, never had been. If anything, she was nondescript. You could pass her on the street and not see her.

  That was one reason she’d worked out so well all these years. She didn’t look dangerous. A person hardly noticed her. Until it was too late.

  Studying her, Jonas admitted that he’d come to care very deeply for her. He had depended on her. Her betrayal cut him deeper even than Lola’s. Fury gripped him like fingers around his throat.

  Along with guilt, he saw something else in her face now. She knew that he knew what she’d done.

  “Rebecca?”

  She raised her gaze slowly. The moment she met his eyes, her face seemed to crumble. She rushed to him to fall to her knees in front of his chair. “Forgive me, Father,” she said, head bowed. “Please forgive me.”