“Now, where are you from?”
“Berlin.”
“My. That’s quite a ways.”
“Long enough.”
“Was your trip all right?”
“There were no problems.”
“Do you have family there?”
“Some.”
“But no wife?”
Her voice was melodic. Her tone hopeful. He felt like she was beating him with a stick, though. Each intrusive comment made him shudder. “I have no wife,” he finally said.
She grinned. “I didn’t imagine so.” At his look of shock, she chuckled. “I’m sorry. I mean, no wife I know of would let you leave at Christmas!”
The proper thing to do would be to at least smile at her horrible attempt at a joke. The polite thing to do would be to try harder to make senseless small talk.
But as her voice rang in his head—as her words reverberated, reminding him again that his Rosanna had died at Christmas—Levi felt ill.
The table shook in his haste to stand up. “Excuse me,” he murmured, then trotted out to the front porch. To the cold, cold air.
At least there he could concentrate on the wind and snow to chill his features. To calm his reserve.
To let him try to figure out what in the world he’d been thinking … when he’d decided to escape his life for Christmas.
Obviously, no matter where he went and no matter how hard he tried, there would be no escape from his guilt.
Ever.
Chapter 4
December 20, 5:00 P.M.
The movements in her belly were called Braxton Hicks contractions. That’s all they are, Melody told herself as she lay on her side in the middle of the queen-sized bed in her room. But as the muscles in her stomach squeezed again, and she shifted uncomfortably, Melody wondered how much different real contractions felt.
Because these, she decided, felt terribly real to her.
Breathe, she told herself. Breathe deep. That was the mantra she had repeated to herself for the last nine months. Ever since “it” had happened. Ever since she’d been attacked and violated by the side of the road on her way home from work.
As Melody slowly inhaled, counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, and then exhaled, her body seemed to relax slightly. And the burdensome stress that had become her constant companion eased. Little by little, she felt her shoulders loosen, then the muscles in her back and hips stretch and give way. Finally the cramping lessened and the baby seemed to settle inside her again.
She was not going to have a baby today. Closing her eyes, Melody said a prayer of thanks.
Thanks for her body’s newfound patience, and for all her blessings. Yes, that was what she needed to do. She needed to get her bearings and feel good about herself again. She needed this little vacation, this time of rest, more than she’d ever needed anything in her life. Shifting, she moved to her other side and pulled one of the fluffy down pillows closer to her chest. The scent of starch and detergent drifted forth, smelling fresh and clean.
Reminding Melody of how wonderful-gut it was to be in such lovely surroundings.
Soon after she’d gotten her bearings, Mrs. Brenneman had walked her to her guest room … a beautiful room decorated in blues and whites on the first floor, right behind the main sitting area. Because getting off her feet had sounded so wonderful, she ignored her feelings of unease as Mrs. Brenneman wished her a good rest, paused to look at her in concern again, and then quietly shut the door behind her.
And she had a lot to be uneasy about. So far, everything about the inn had been different than what she’d imagined. The family living in and managing the inn were far more nosy than she’d anticipated. It was also extremely obvious they weren’t all that excited to have her stay with them. If Katie had been able to send their uninvited guest on her way, she surely would have. During every encounter, Katie had been especially scornful. It felt as if there was nothing Melody could do about that attitude, either.
Except to leave.
And then there was the other guest. Levi Bender. A lone man who obviously was harboring some secrets of his own. Plus, he was so sullen, it looked as if the very act of smiling would cause him pain. What could have happened to him? Melody wondered. He’d actually paled when he saw she was pregnant.
The right thing to do might have been to go back home, but of course she couldn’t do that. Her parents and May, her sister, had argued so much about her leaving that they would no doubt do their best to remind her of their wisdom time and again. Their attitudes would surely make a difficult holiday even worse.
And they wouldn’t let her just sit in her room alone, either. No, they’d expect her to help prepare supper and wash dishes, just like any good daughter. Complaints about being tired would be ignored. Worries verbalized about her future would be met with silence.
The only option was to pretend that everything was just fine while she was here. That she didn’t notice that she wasn’t wanted at the inn.
Because at least here, she would be safe. The man who had attacked her was far away. Maybe she’d get a welcome break from the nightmares that plagued her. From the memories that crushed her heart and wouldn’t allow her to forget for even the smallest second what it had felt like to be assaulted by the stranger.
Of how his rough fingers had scraped her skin. Of how the hospital’s strong antiseptic scent had burned her nose. How the nurses’ voices had been strained and hushed when they spoke to the doctors. Of how the English doctors had talked about so much that she didn’t understand.
A tear escaped as she closed her eyes. Breathing deep, she caught the scent of freshly made gingerbread and held it close. It smelled heavenly and warm. Like a childhood memory that existed only in her dreams.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Think of better days. Of other times.
Think only of what a perfect holiday should smell like. Think of cinnamon and molasses. Of fresh snow. Of what she used to feel like. Before.
Little by little, she felt her body relax once again. Maybe this time she’d be able to take a nap.
“I still don’t see why we are obligated to let them both stay here,” Katie whispered as she rushed to help her mother pull out a handful of vegetables for soup. “The girl doesn’t have a reservation. She even admitted to not even trying to make one. And there’s something peculiar about her. Actually, there’s something strange about that man, too. He had less conversation inside him than this chair right here.”
“He is quiet,” her mother agreed, “but we’ve had other guests who were quiet, too. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I suppose. Well, if he only wants to be left alone, that won’t be difficult. But that girl is another story. She definitely should not have shown up like she did. Without a reservation. We could point that out to her.”
While her mother only turned on the sink and began scrubbing carrots, it was her brother Henry who chided her. “She’s with child. If she’s here alone, it’s obvious she has nowhere else to go. You can’t not allow her to stay.”
Put that way, Katie felt ashamed. But not enough to give up her fight for the perfect holiday. Unbidden, tears sparked her eyes, which was a terribly curious thing.
Obviously, her emotions were running high. Too high to be reasonable.
But before her brain could caution her tongue, she started talking again. “But why do you think she’s here? She’s awfully big. Close to her time, don’t you think? Too close to travel.”
“Neither you nor I is her doctor. It doesn’t matter what we think.”
“It does. What if something goes wrong?” Alarm coursed through her as Katie started to imagine all sorts of wors-case scenarios. “What if she needs a physician on Christmas Eve? What would we do then?”
“Then we’ll find a doctor. Accidents happen all the time, but God always provides,” Henry said reasonably.
But Katie didn’t want to be reasonable. She wanted to be surrounded just by her family and friends thi
s holiday. She was tired and Eli had been challenging. All that had gotten her through the last couple of weeks was looking forward to spending the holiday together.
But now her dreams were disappearing. “What if she’s on the run from her husband? She could bring danger here.”
As a shadow filled Henry’s eyes, Katie felt her cheeks flush. But still, her mouth kept running on. “I’m sorry. I know you’re thinking of when Anna hid here, but this is different.”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps not …”
“If she is in trouble, then she’s brought it our way. And I, for one, don’t think that’s right. I have Eli.”
As her last plaintive objection filled the air, her mother whirled around and glared. “Enough, Katie. Your talk is shameful. I don’t want to hear another word against our guests again.”
“Yes, Mamm.”
“It’s time you looked beyond yourself, Katie, and think about other people’s needs instead of your own. You should consider the Lord’s wishes, too.”
“But—”
“You might not have heard, but there was another woman, years ago, who asked for a room in an inn near December twenty-fifth. Imagine how much nicer it would have been for her if she’d been given shelter.”
“Mother, I see the similarities, but no matter what you say, I’ll not be persuaded that Melody Gingerich is just like Mary.”
“Then you listen to this, daughter. You’ve been so shortempered, I’m half tempted to send you back to your home. You ought to think about why the Lord has brought these two people to us. Obviously, He intended for them to be here. It’s too coincidental otherwise. The roads are snowy and most folks are canceling their travel plans.”
Her mother’s words stilled all further complaints. She did have a point. Perhaps there was a reason for them to have visitors. Perhaps these two guests really did have a greater need to be with their family than the rest of them did to be alone. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better.”
Her mother arched a brow. “Try?”
“I will be better. I promise.”
Now that she’d been obeyed, her tone gentled. “That Melody needs a friend, Katie. I imagine she’s worried about the baby and being a mother. You just had Eli a few months ago. You should reach out to her and offer her your friendship. Perhaps she doesn’t have much of a family. Perhaps she has no one. Katie, what would your life be like if you didn’t have any of us?”
Her mother’s question caused a rush of fear. She loved her family dearly. And Jonathan? Well, Jonathan was the best husband for her, even discounting the fact she’d loved him from afar for years before he’d ever turned her way. He was patient with her, and offered a lot of support when she was worried. And his girls had given her so much, too.
Life without them would be a dark thing, indeed.
“You won’t hear me complain or whine again, Mamm.”
But instead of looking pleased, her mother and brother chuckled.
“To hear you not whine would be the greatest Christmas gift of all,” Henry quipped.
Instead of snipping at him right back, Katie smiled sweetly. “Please hand me the sack of potatoes, brother. I’ll do my best not to grumble about your unusually large appetite.”
December 21, 7:00 A.M.
Leah Dillon wasn’t quite sure why she felt so strongly about following her friend Melody to the bed-and-breakfast, but she did. Actually, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to think about anything other than her friend’s health and well-being if she didn’t go see Melody herself.
Looking around her room, decorated like she was perpetually sixteen in shades of violet and cream, she checked again to see if she’d forgotten anything.
Not that it mattered. With luck, she’d be home again by Christmas. Hefting her backpack on her right shoulder, she turned off her light and headed into the kitchen where her mother was waiting, the twinkling white lights of their Christmas tree casting a pretty glow around her. “I think that’s everything. I guess I’m ready, Mom.”
“I guess you are.” She handed her three twenty-dollar bills. “Take this, okay?”
Leah kept her hand securely in her pocket. “I won’t need that, Mom. I cashed my last paycheck.”
“Go ahead and take it. You never know what could happen.”
But Leah knew they didn’t have a lot of extra cash. Not for extras, or for spur-of-the-moment trips like the one she was about to take. Leah was pretty sure if she took the cash, her mother would be eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the next four days. “Really, Mom. I’ll be fine.”
“If you don’t use it, bring it back.” She looked her over once again. “Do you have enough warm clothes?”
“I’ve got boots, turtlenecks, jeans, and socks. Even fresh underwear,” Leah added, just to make her mom smile. “Trust me, I’ll be warm enough.”
“And you have your cell phone?”
“I do. And the charger, too.” She smiled. “Have I told you thanks for not giving me too much grief for doing this?”
“You’re twenty-one, Leah. It’s not like I could stop you.”
While their relationship was far more like that of roommates than mother and child, Leah felt her mom still deserved every courtesy. Especially since she’d been so good about letting Leah remain at home while she finished up her degree and worked at Great Grinds. “Well, still. Thanks. You’re the best.”
“You’re welcome.” A weary smile brightened up her mother’s pale cheeks. “Besides, there’s no need to thank me.” Her mom chuckled as she reached out and hugged Leah tightly, enfolding her in an embrace as familiar as the scent of Ivory soap that always clung to her. “I don’t know if I’m the best, but I do understand why you need to go. Melody shouldn’t be all alone right now.”
“She left yesterday morning without a word to anyone,” Leah said as she pulled away. “When Mrs. Sheridan told me Melody was going to Ohio all by herself, I couldn’t believe it.”
“I know you were surprised,” her mother replied in her typical understated way. “Don’t forget that this was Melody’s decision, though. You need to respect that.”
“I do. But I don’t know if she’s made an informed decision.”
“Informed?” Grinning, she tilted her head to one side. “Leah, are you throwing that phrase out at me for any special reason?”
“Only because it was your favorite phrase when I was fifteen.”
As she always did whenever they mentioned that very difficult year, her mom winced dramatically. “I only said ‘informed’ all the time because you never seemed to want to think about consequences. Ever.”
“I do now.” Reaching out, she clasped her mother’s hand. “I just don’t want Melody to be alone, you know? She’s had such a tough time.”
“No one has ever denied that. But, remember what we talked about? I know you’re studying to be a guidance counselor, but you can’t live someone else’s life, Leah. Melody is Amish, not like us. And her parents love her and want the best for her … even if they’ve behaved in ways that you don’t agree with.”
Thinking of how Melody had practically lived in shame for the last nine months made Leah cringe. “They’ve been awful.”
“Maybe so, but it’s not for us to interfere.”
“I can’t just stay here.” As she looked at her mom, with her straight brown hair and brown eyes, with her delicate jaw and skin that never wanted to tan—all features that she’d inherited—Leah struggled to put all her thoughts into words. “You’re my best friend. You’ve always had my back. I don’t think Melody’s ever had that.”
“So you need to be there for her.”
“Yes. I know she’s hurting.” As every worst-case scenario filtered through her mind, Leah steadied her resolve. “And I know when someone’s hurting they don’t always make the best choices.”
“They also don’t have the best responses when someone tries to do something nice for them. Don’t be surprised if she’s not thrilled to see you,
” she added as they walked into the small living room.
In addition to the sparkling tree, two stockings hung from the mantel and a whole assortment of snow globes and music boxes filled every available space.
“I won’t be.” However, inside, Leah was sure her mom was wrong about Melody. No matter what, she knew her friend was going to be thrilled to see her. “It’s going to be fine. If she wants to stay, I’ll stay there with her. And, if she’s regretting her decision to go to the middle of nowhere for Christmas, well, I’ll just take her home.”
“I hope it will be that easy.”
“It will be. She needs a friend,” Leah added, knowing she spoke the truth. “Melody needs me. And she needs to continue to talk. She’s kept so much inside—sometimes I worry. No matter how many times I’ve asked her what she’s thinking, she never will say anything but that she’s fine.”
“Leah—Oh, never mind.” Her mother’s voice broke off as she again enfolded her daughter in her arms. Tenderly, she kissed her head. “You’re a good person.”
Leah fiercely hugged her mother back. “I wish her mom was more like you. I wish her mom would have reached out to her more.”
“I know.” She shook her head sadly. “Sometimes I just don’t understand people. Never would I have imagined that a parent could be so uncaring. It certainly wasn’t Melody’s fault she was attacked.”
“If you acted that way to me, why, I just don’t know what I’d do. Probably go off the deep end.” As she visualized how empty her life would be, without her mother’s love and support, Leah reached out her hand. “Mom, I hope that’s not what’s been happening to Melody.”
As her mother clasped her hand, she shook her head. “Nope. I’m not going to let you go there. Let’s think positively. You’re going to get to the inn tonight. You’re going to visit with her, and spend the night there.”
“And stay another day or two.”
“And then you’re going to come right back, with plenty of time to celebrate Christmas Day.”
“Yep. And if Melody wants to stay with us, she’s more than welcome.”
Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel Page 3
