“Of course. Well, is your car full of gas?”
“Yes.” She stepped closer to the door—anxious to leave, but not. This trip was a big deal for her. Never had she driven so far by herself. Never had she taken a chance like the one she was taking now.
“Then, I guess you better go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll come home.”
Leah grabbed the door’s handle but didn’t turn it. “I’ll call you tonight.”
“You better. Good-bye, dear. Have a good trip, and be careful.”
“I will. And Mom … I hope you won’t be too lonely.”
“I have my books and the dogs. That’s enough for me. Now, it’s time, Leah.”
Leah hugged her mom again and hustled to her sedan. She tossed her pack in the backseat and started the car.
She was going on an adventure. And though it really wasn’t much of one … after all, all she was doing was checking up on Melody and then coming back … Leah couldn’t wait.
Things in her life had been pretty boring lately. All she’d been doing was working at Great Grinds and taking classes in counseling at the community college. It was time for excitement.
But as she drove down her street, and her house and her mom’s silhouette faded into the background, Leah wondered if she was about to get more than she bargained for.
As the doubts settled in again, she turned up the radio. It did as she hoped—blocked everything in the world out.
For better or worse, she was on her way.
Chapter 5
December 21, 10:00 A.M.
“I hope I didn’t disturb you.”
Melody looked up at the man who stood at the doorway of the parlor. Levi Bender. Her eyes flew to his hand, which was gripping the oak doorframe like he was in danger of falling.
Of course, it was so obvious that his balance wasn’t in question, it was his comfort level. Though whether he was worried more about hers or his, she didn’t know. “You didn’t disturb me. I was simply enjoying the fire.”
“Oh.”
His reticence was almost laughable. He seemed as awkward around her as she usually felt around most strangers. Most of the time, men who were muscular reminded her too much of the man who had attacked her. Who raped her.
But Levi felt different. As he hovered nearby, an unusual kind of awareness pulsed through her. He was a handsome man. His dark hair and eyes tempted her to look at him a little too long. A little too closely.
Not to look away. How could that be?
When he continued to pause at the door, obviously debating whether to join her or not, she sighed. “Please join me, if you’d like. The fire feels gut, and there’s a carafe of coffee on the back table.”
A spark of interest flashed in his eyes. “Kaffi?”
“It’s fresh. You might as well come on in and enjoy yourself. Don’t let me deter you. It’s not like this is my place. After all, we are both guests here, jah?”
After another moment’s hesitation, he stepped inside. As she half expected, he walked right over and poured a mug of hot coffee. What she didn’t expect was to see him liberally add sugar and cream to it. What had necessitated that? she wondered. To her surprise, she fought off a smile when he sipped, then added still more cream to it. He was obviously a man who liked his sweets. Then she wondered why she even cared.
Once his coffee was mixed, Levi stood awkwardly once again. Looking terribly ill at ease.
Because he still stayed silent—and because the continued strain was starting to get on her nerves—she raised her hands to the fire. “The fireplace really does feel comforting.”
He raised a brow at the word.
“I mean, the house is warm, but it still contains drafts. I was thankful for the featherbed last night.” She didn’t even bother to say it helped her sleep, because it hadn’t.
Nothing really helped that.
“Mr. Brenneman said their home has been in their family for a few generations.”
Though his statement was spoken awkwardly, she grabbed on to his words like a lifeline. “That’s nice, huh?” When his expression stayed blank, she hastened to explain. “I mean, my parents moved to their house soon after I was born. I imagine it would be nice to live somewhere where there are memories of grandparents in every corner.”
“I don’t know about that.” He swallowed. “Some memories are too hard to think about.”
“Yes. You’re right.” There was no way she was going to dispute that statement. Some memories were far too painful to free from the locked box of her mind. If she had her way, she’d wish to never recall some things ever again.
He held his hands up. “The fire does feel good. I could have used a warm spot like this yesterday. It was a cold day to travel.”
“Did you come from very far?”
“A fair amount. Took me most of the day,” he added.
“It took me most of the day as well.”
“You traveled some distance, too?”
Melody didn’t fail to notice that his question was asked grudgingly, like only good manners necessitated that he inquire. He’d also given her a question that could be neatly sidestepped as well.
All she’d have to do is give him a one-word answer and they could consider the conversation over.
But for all of his gruffness, she felt safer with him than she had with any man in months. Feeling brave and almost chatty, she said, “I came all the way from Kentucky. From Sonora, which is south of Louisville. Do you know it?”
“Nee.”
“Well, it’s a ways away, especially in this weather.” She shivered dramatically. “It was a long journey.”
“Perhaps it was too long. After all, you collapsed when you arrived.”
She couldn’t escape his disapproval. She also couldn’t escape what had happened. “I feel better now.”
But instead of commenting on her health, he stepped closer. “Why, exactly, are you here?”
“Pardon me?” A tremor flitted inside her. Perhaps this man wasn’t so harmless after all.
Those dark eyes of his seemed to miss nothing as he stared. Immediately, she noticed the stain on her gray dress. The cracked skin on her finger from the cold. With a sinking sensation, she imagined that he was examining the dark circles under her eyes that seemed to never go away.
And, of course, her protruding stomach.
“You look like you could give birth at any moment. Surely this trip you’ve taken was foolhardy. Most likely, it wasn’t safe for the babe. But still you went.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “The baby is fine.”
“As far as you know …” Something dark entered his eyes. “Whyever would you decide to take such a risk with your baby’s health? And why in the world are you alone?”
Melody realized then that she’d been hopelessly naive. Of course men had more ways to hurt than with their hands! The lashing of questions felt as wounding as any hard-ironed grip.
In a panic, she was tempted to make up lies. To say something about her husband dying. Or that he was with an ailing parent and so had encouraged her to go to the inn.
Anything that would be socially acceptable, even if thought to be strange. But she’d been caught in lies so often lately, she didn’t dare.
Lies meant that you had to remember things. And she had no willpower for that at the moment. In fact, she was fairly sure she would completely forget just about everything the moment she’d said a word. That was how it had been going lately, anyway.
So she evaded. Again. “I don’t believe the reason I’m here is anyone’s business.”
“I think otherwise.” His voice was harsh, and the look he gave her made her shudder. “You have put everyone here in a state of worry.”
“I certainly have not. Who said such a thing?”
He paused. “What if you need medical assistance?”
Ah, it looked like she wasn’t the only one who could dodge questions. “If I did, I don’t see how that would be you
r concern.”
“I’d never be able to stand by while a woman needed help.”
She wondered why he was even thinking about such things.
“We are strangers. I promise you, if I need help, I certainly won’t be calling for you.”
Irritation emanated from him.
Which pricked her temper even further. With effort, she fought to keep her voice low and even. She didn’t want to risk showing too much of her emotions to this man. No doubt, he would use her weaknesses as fodder for another barb later. “Well, I’m not quite sure why the Lord brought us here together. Perhaps it was simply chance.”
“Our Lord makes no accidents.”
Melody imagined he was right. But there was something about his sanctimonious tone that riled her up in a way only the prim ladies who said they were friends with her mother could.
Those ladies had done everything they could to make sure she knew she wasn’t worthy enough to cross their paths.
And this man … this dark-haired, dark-eyed, angry man—why, he acted like he was just as dismayed.
She cleared her throat. “Mr. Bender. We only happen to be here for a short while. I suggest we try our best to be civil to each other. After all, by the time the new year comes, we both will be gone. And after that, why, I’m sure our paths will likely never cross again.”
“I sincerely hope they do not.”
The tension between them increased. Melody considered leaving the room in a huff. She was mad enough and certainly had no desire to see him. But there was nowhere to go, save her room. And though the featherbed and comforters would keep her snug during the night, it was a far sight chillier in her room than where she was sitting.
Almost as chilly as the glare he was sending her way. And that, of course, made her completely confused. He seemed like the type of man who did his best to stay away from people who he didn’t like. To stay away from opinions he didn’t share.
Inside her, emotions clashed and battled with each other. Part of her wanted nothing better than to move away from Levi and sit by herself. But a whole different side yearned for the thrill she got from conversing with him. He challenged her in a way that wasn’t hard-hearted or scary. Instead, he seemed to treat her as an equal. Not someone damaged by life.
No one else had treated her in such a way. As the battle of wills played out, she wondered who would be the victor. She’d already sat by herself for hours. She knew what that felt like.
And, just as she knew that she didn’t care for spinach … or that nothing could make her smile like a daffodil in springtime … she knew this time with Levi would end eventually.
And with it, her only chance to converse like someone who was strong. Not afraid of life.
“Why did you come to a bed-and-breakfast for Christmas, anyway? It seems to me a man such as yourself would have a lot of family around.”
“A man such as myself?”
“You know. So pleasant. So gregarious.” She felt the bite of satisfaction when he visibly winced. “I’m sure all your relatives tried hard to convince you to stay.”
“They did. I was eager to be alone, though.”
Obviously, he, too, had his own reasons for wanting to be at the inn. She felt ashamed. She shouldn’t have goaded him like that. There was no reason for her to have egged him on so. He owed her nothing. And surely, her behavior wasn’t Christian.
Her palms started to sweat. She, more than anyone, knew all about wishing to just get along. To simply have a conversation with another person without feeling judged. Or without feeling like she needed to explain herself. “I’m sorry,” she began. “I shouldn’t have—”
“Here you both are,” Mrs. Brenneman exclaimed as she bustled inside. “How are you two doing? Did you have a good night’s sleep? Have you settled in?”
“I slept well.” After a long moment, Levi turned from Melody and smiled at their host. “My room is comfortable.”
“Mine is as well,” Melody mumbled. “The quilts adorning the walls and covering the beds are lovely.”
“Let’s just hope they keep you warm, jah? It’s terribly cold outside.”
“I’m sure they will.”
Mrs. Brenneman’s smile broadened. “Well, don’t mind me. I only came in here to check on the two of you. My Anna told me she fixed you breakfast, and I see you’ve found coffee as well.”
“It has all been wunderbaar.”
“I’m delighted to hear that. And, I see that you both are getting to know each other, too! How nice.”
Melody couldn’t think of a thing to say to that.
Oblivious to their discomfort, Mrs. Brenneman clasped her hands together in front of her. “If you two don’t mind, I thought I’d warn you about all of our goings-on this week.”
“What do you mean?”
“As it so happens, my whole family will be arriving to stay over the next two days. We’ll be baking cookies and chopping wood and working on a puzzle. It should be great fun.” Each word was punctuated with joy and happiness … and an iron will.
Melody was beginning to realize that Mrs. Brenneman was not a lady used to having her wishes ignored.
But why was the innkeeper telling her such things, anyway? The activities were most definitely geared toward her family, not guests.
Levi’s shoulders sagged. “I’ll do my best to stay out of your way.”
“No! No, that’s not why I am telling you! We want you to join in!” She looked at them both. “Idle hands make fretful minds, I think. And I also think you’ll enjoy things if you just jump in with both feet. You do know how to chop wood, don’t you, Levi?”
“Of course.”
“And Melody, I trust you’ve made a fair share of Christmas cookies before?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s settled. I want you two to become part of our family while you’re here.”
“But I’m sure I don’t want to be any trouble,” Levi said.
“You won’t be, if you participate. It’s folks who are determined to be alone and standoffish that are hard for us. Then we have to constantly be wondering what they need.”
She patted Levi on the arm. “So please meet my son Henry outside in fifteen minutes. He and my husband and whoever else shows up are going for a hike. I fully expect you men to either come back with wood or a turkey.”
“I’ll be there.”
“And me, Mrs. Brenneman?”
“Melody, we want you to help hold Eli while we bake.”
“Katie’s baby?”
“Yes, of course. You’ll want the practice with the baby, yes?”
There seemed to be no other answer but one of agreement. She nodded.
“I’m glad that’s all settled,” Mrs. Brenneman said before leaving.
“I’m not sure what just happened, but I think we’ve been put to work.” Melody looked Levi’s way again, wondering if he was ever going to show some kind of reaction.
But still, his face remained impassive. “Yes.”
The silence between them stretched, growing even more uncomfortable. With effort, she lumbered to her feet. “I’ll just go to the kitchen now,” Melody murmured, not really knowing why she even said that much. After all, he certainly didn’t look like he cared one way or another.
So she left—making sure that she didn’t even think about turning around to see his reaction.
Though, knowing him, he probably hadn’t even noticed she was gone.
December 21, 10:15 A.M.
After what had felt like an eternity, she left. When he no longer could hear her footsteps on the thick wooden planks, Levi exhaled. Finally, it felt like he could breathe again.
As the flames jumped and popped in the fire, Levi took the time to wonder why such a girl affected him so. It certainly wasn’t her beauty. She was full with child—another man’s child. And she was young, too. Too young for marriage, in his estimation.
She was too forward by half as well. Levi had always enjoyed quiet wome
n. A woman who didn’t mind the silence. She acted like silence was simply an opportunity to fill the air with chatter.
So what was it that kept him thinking about her again and again? Even now, when he truly ached for her to leave him?
It had to be her eyes. They were sad. So sad and full of grief that their expression took his breath away.
Probably because he knew such desolation.
Henry poked his head into the room. “Levi, my mamm says you’d like to come with us. Is that the case?”
He scrambled to his feet. “Did you think it wasn’t?”
“She’s been known to push her ways on us a time or two. We would be happy to have you join us, though, if you want.”
“I want to,” he replied, suddenly realizing that he did not want to be outside in the company of men. “I’ll be right there.”
“Good. We’ll meet in the barn.”
As Levi climbed the flights of stairs to his room, for a moment he was sure he heard the women’s voices raised in laughter. In spite of himself, he found himself straining to hear their words. Women were so different than men. They talked of things he never noticed, discussed ideas he never thought about.
Funny how all of a sudden he missed that. He missed being around laughter and the easy chatter of women.
And as he met Henry, his father John, Jonathan Lundy, and another man, Samuel, and they all tromped off toward the east, two carrying rifles, Levi found his shoulders relaxing.
How long had it been since no one had asked how he was feeling? How long had it been since no one had walked on eggshells around him?
Since no one cared about his past?
Chapter 6
December 21, 12:00 P.M.
“Anna, here,” Katie said to Melody, “was once English. She’s far more worldly than the rest of us.” Katie’s eyebrows rose in amusement.
To her left, Anna shook her head in dismay. “I don’t know why you always feel the need to speak of my past, Katie. That’s ancient history.”
Across the room, another girl, Winnie, chuckled. “So ancient, it happened two years ago.”
Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel Page 4
