Divided Dreams

by Walters, Janet Lane;

  Andi looked at the grassy area next to the curb and saw cigarette butts and other debris. She watched him clip the carrier into the car seat. He turned to take the diaper bag and used the strap to draw her closer. His lips brushed hers.

  Andi stiffened and fought the swelling desire to surrender. She pulled free and walked away.

  “See you Wednesday.” Rob held up his smart phone. “I need your number to send directions to the cabin.”

  Andi rattled off the numbers. She strode away before she made a mistake. She was in danger of repeating past errors. She fisted her hands. Had he guessed she wanted more? Couldn’t happen.

  * * *

  Rob watched Andi’s departure. He didn’t regret the kiss especially when he’d sensed her response. They would talk about what this meant very soon. He needed to tell her how he deeply regretted saying the words his father had ordered him to say.

  He closed the rear door and slid into the driver’s seat. He drove through town and reached the road leading to the turnoff into the long driveway to the cabin.

  The rough logs of the main room came into view. Once a summer retreat for the family, the cabin had become Rob’s haven. He parked and carried Tammy inside. He settled her in the cradle and sat on the brown leather lounge chair to test the directions to Andi.

  By ten o’clock Tammy slept in her crib. Rob went to the study beside his bedroom. He sat at the computer and opened his email. The edits for his first book had arrived. When he saw all the colored notes in the margins he gulped.

  They hate it. They won’t publish. How can I do this?

  Acid crept from his stomach, He would be sick. He reached for his cell and hit his agent’s number. She answered. He spoke over her greeting. “The edits came. There are comments on every page. They hate it.”

  “Take a deep breath.”

  Denise’s voice settled his panic attack. He could see the laughter on her face and hear amusement in her voice. “I’ll try.” He imagined her running her hands through her red curls.

  “I’ve seen the edits. There are typos, word choices, punctuation problems, some new author mistakes and a couple of scenes to be rewritten. Take them one at a time.”

  “When do they want then? There was no clue to a date.”

  “As soon as you can. Something exciting is in the works.”

  Though he wanted to ask, he had a small problem named Tammy who would cut into his work time. “I can’t do anything until after the funeral.”

  “Funeral?” Her voice held a question. “Whose?”

  “My sister.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m handling matters. Her death was a shock. Car accident.”

  “Were you close?”

  “Not really. She was…difficult. I worry about my mother. The past year she’s lost her husband and now two children.”

  “I’ll let the editor know about the event. Just do your best.”

  “Tell her I’ll pull a marathon after the funeral.”

  “Good. I have to go. There’s a hot man sitting on my couch.”

  Though he wasn’t attracted to her, he envied her date. He’d been with a hot woman but it hadn’t been a date.” “Enjoy.”

  “I will. Oh, do you know Chad Morgan?”

  “Yes.” Before he had a chance to ask why she hung up. With a shrug he headed to the car and carried in the bags of baby food he’d bought at the grocery store. He unloaded them taking a whole shelf in the large pantry closet. He filled bottles and put them in the fridge. Feeling a bit sorry for himself he slouched in the recliner and turned on the television.

  * * *

  Tuesday morning Rob woke feeling as if he’d experienced a week long drunk. His niece had cried at least every two hours or less. Not knowing what else to do he gave her a bottle. As if on cue she cried. He dashed to the crib.

  Diaper check. Soaked.

  He carried Tammy to the changing table. Using the wipes he scrubbed her body. If he had a small pan he could bathe her. Another trip to the children’s store might solve his problem. After he diapered her and she stopped crying he carried her to the main room. “Could you be a sweet child while I have brunch?”

  He opened the fridge and gathered some items. He poured juice, filled the coffee maker, zapped bacon and scrambled eggs. He slid two slices of bread into the toaster, served his food and sat to eat,

  For once Tammy didn’t cry. Rob finished breakfast. The phone rang. Knowing the caller was his mother he answered. “Hi, Mom, are you settled?”

  “We just got in. How are you coping?”

  “Better than I expected and not as good as I want. I made dinner reservations at Fern Lake House. Tammy and I will come for you around five.”

  “There isn’t room in your car.”

  Rob laughed. “There is now. I’ve a new ride. Four door. Your kind of car.”

  “What a change. See you then. Hattie and I are going to unpack and rest.”

  Rob hung up and walked to his bedroom. He laid out clothes for the evening.

  Tammy cried. He rescued her. The instant he picked her up she stopped fussing. “Let’s find something for you to wear tonight.”

  He searched the drawers of the dresser and found an outfit he could manage. With Tammy in a football hold he entered the kitchen area of the main room and warmed a bottle.

  Once she slept he crossed the hall to his study. Though tempted he resisted the manuscript file. He read and answered email. Then he cleaned the kitchen area and made his bed before showering and dressing for the evening. When Tammy woke he rubbed her down and dressed her.

  With a bit of organization he had Tammy and the supplies in the car and drove from the cabin. He parked in front of Sulley’s Bed and Breakfast. The rambling house had once been an inn. He lifted Tammy from the infant seat and strode up the wide stone steps to the front porch where white wicker furniture stood in clusters. Inside, the desk clerk directed him to a first floor suite.

  Hattie opened the door and held out her arms. “So this is Tamara.” She took the baby.

  Rob hugged his mother. “I’m glad to see you, but not for the reason.”

  She looked up. Tears moistened her brown eyes. “A funeral isn’t unexpected considering the life she chose.” She crossed to the sofa and sat.

  Gray-haired Hattie handed the baby to Rob’s mother. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

  Mrs. Grantlan stroked the baby’s head. “She is.” She sighed. “Another grandchild missing a parent though you wouldn’t know Simon isn’t little Jenny’s father. He dotes on the child. Who is Tammy’s father?”

  “Dan Sherman.”

  Mrs. Grantlan sighed. “I thought she was over him after he left Fern Lake when your father paid him to go. I wonder how they met again?”

  Rob shrugged. “I have no idea what she was doing after she left the rehab program. Did Patricia ever call you?”

  “Never.”

  “What will happen to the child?” Hattie asked.

  “I’m going for guardianship and hopefully sharing with Andi.”

  His mother’s smile warmed him. Maybe she approved.

  Hattie placed a hand on Rob’s shoulder. “Good idea. Andi was nothing like the rest of the Sherman brood.”

  Rob nodded in agreement. He lifted Tammy. “Time to leave for the restaurant.”

  Hattie helped his mother stand. “I understand we’ll be traveling in an ordinary car.”

  * * *

  At five AM on Wednesday morning sounds poured from the baby monitor and smashed Rob’s dream. Did the child ever sleep all night? The wails continued. He grabbed his robe and dashed across the hall.

  Tammy was soaked. So were the sheet and light cover. Gingerly he lifted her and crossed to the changing table. Once she was dry and dressed he placed her in the portable sleeper in his study while he tackled the crib.

  Pulling the wet sheet off proved easy. Then came applying the new one. The mattress fit so tightly there was no way to do this in the manner h
e changed his bed. Finally he pulled the head of the mattress free and fastened the elastic edges over the thick pad. After two attempts he turned to the foot. He finally finished and felt ready for a nap.

  He lifted a crying Tammy and carried her to the kitchen where he warmed a bottle. When she finished part of the formula and nodded he placed her in the cradle. Might as well stay up. He brewed coffee, made an omelet and ate. Then he retreated to the recliner.

  He must have dozed. The loud chiming of the doorbell and a hard rapping woke him. As he hurried to the door he fastened his robe. Andi stood there. He drank in the sight of her face and hazel eyes. His body reacted.

  “What time is it?”

  “Eight forty-five.”

  He groaned. “I’d better move. Tammy’s asleep in the cradle. I’ll be in the shower if you need anything, just yell.” He crossed to the bedroom addition. “Tammy’s room is the first one on the right side of the hall. You’ll find all you need and some things that mystify me.” He entered his bedroom and closed the door.

  Thank heavens she hadn’t seen he was naked beneath his robe. Not only nude, but erect.

  He hurried with his preparations and returned to the main room. “I’ve left the infant seat they gave me at the hospital by the door in case you need to take her anywhere. I’ll see you between five and six.”

  * * *

  Rob stopped at Sulley’s Bed and Breakfast for his mother and Hattie. They drove to the funeral home. The service was scheduled for the smallest receiving room where a dozen chairs stood in two rows. The closed casket stood at the head of the room where the funeral director waited.

  “I want to see her,” Mrs. Grantlan said.

  Rob reached for his mother’s hand. “She’s not very pretty. Though they tried, her face was so bruised and swollen from the accident and the beating she doesn’t look like the way you want to remember her.”

  “I need to see her.”

  Rob sucked in a deep breath. Knowing he couldn’t convince her against the viewing, he signaled to the director.

  The balding man opened the lid. Rob clasped his mother’s hand as she looked into the coffin. Tears trickled down her cheeks. “My child, I hope you’ve found peace.” She turned away. Rob drew her into his arms. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”

  She gazed into his eyes. “If only your father had recognized what she could have done.”

  Rob nodded. “She had the best business sense of us all.”

  Several women paused at the door. They waved. “Let me go.” Mrs. Grantlan walked toward the guests.

  Hattie patted Rob’s hand. “She had to see her. I don’t think she really believed Patricia was dead, even after you brought that sweet baby to us.” She raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing about Tammy’s aunt?”

  “That’s open for exploration.”

  “I hope you succeed.”

  Simon and Dana arrived. Dana kissed his cheek. “Are you all right?”

  “I think so.”

  Simon walked to his aunt. He held her in a light embrace.

  Dana handed Rob a slip of paper. “Three names. I’ve heard good things about them all. If this doesn’t work you can put an ad in the local paper or call Care Inc.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Who has the baby now?”

  “Andi Sherman.”

  She frowned. “With the history between you is that wise?”

  “Tammy’s her niece.”

  “I see, but I’m surprised Andi talks to you.”

  “So am I.”

  A few more people drifted in. Rob went to his mother’s side. The minister arrived and the service began.

  * * *

  Rob walked with his mother and Hattie to where they needed to go through security. “Have a good trip.” His mother’s new life in Florida had brought her contentment. Hattie’s companionship kept his mother from focusing on the past.

  “Make sure you do those edits,” Hattie said.

  Rob’s mother laughed. “He’d better. I have plans to brag about my famous author son and show him off when he comes to visit.” She kissed his cheek. “All you need is a woman to love.”

  “I have, but I hurt her years ago and I don’t know if she’ll forgive me.”

  “Talk to her. I know apologizing is foreign to Grantlan men, but try.”

  Rob kissed her cheek. “Have a good trip.”

  He waited until they passed through the X-ray machine. Was he man enough to say the words Andi needed to hear?

  * * *

  An hour later Rob drove into Fern Lake. He rode past Burger Bounty where his friendship with Andi had begun. Though he’d planned to cook dinner a moment of nostalgia caused him to pull into a parking space.

  Most of the small tables along the way were filled with customers, some waiting for an order and some eating. Rob reached the counter. “Two bacon blues, a large order of fries, coleslaw and an insulated bag.”

  “Fifteen or twenty minutes,” the clerk said.

  Rob retreated to a space near the tables and leaned against the wall. When his number was called he paid and carried the food to his car.

  Once he drove out of town he hit the gas and sped until he reached the winding drive to the cabin. He sighed in relief when he saw Andi’s car remained. She hadn’t taken Tammy and run.

  A grin curved his lips. How would she react if he opened the door and yelled, “Honey, I’m home.” He laughed. Most likely she would dash away. He had to convince her how much he regretted what he’d said on that dreadful evening.

  He grabbed the bags from Burger Bounty and opened the cabin door. Andi held the baby in her arms and danced to music streaming from the radio. He leaned against the door and watched the way her hips moved. The effect was more powerful than taking an erectional dysfunction drug.

  Her gyrations turned her to face him. Her cheeks reddened. She laughed. “Is that what I think it is?”

  Was she asking about his readiness for action? Then he realized her gaze focused on the bags. “Bacon blues, giant fries, and coleslaw. Are you hungry?”

  “Starved.” She pulled the swing to the table and fastened Tammy into the seat. “How did you know I’ve been thinking about those burgers since I arrived in town? Reminds me of old times.”

  “Or of making new ones. I spotted a parking space near the restaurant and knew I had to stop.” He followed her to the table where he opened the insulated bag. After bringing a catsup bottle, small plates, forks and a pitcher of iced tea, he opened his burger. The aroma of happy times and places reached him.

  Chapter 5

  The delectable aromas of the burgers and bacon swamped Andi with memories of meals she’d shared with Rob. Her thoughts flashed to the evenings at the lake, eating the same meal, or chili dogs from the truck and stealing kisses between bites. She sucked in a breath and tried to halt the flow, but the stream continued until the finale burst through the good, leaving only the bad.

  She gripped the burger as a moment of the evening appeared. Rob faced her. Light filtered through the leaves of the trees. A ray of fading sunlight illuminated his face. Though his mouth had shaped the words, his eyes had reflected anger and sorrow. Why hadn’t she seen this before? The realization shocked her and she had to consider what this new flash of memory meant.

  Not here. Not now. When she was alone.

  She bit into the burger. The tart creaminess of the cheese, the acid bite of the tomato and the saltiness of the pickle blended perfectly with the burger and bacon. She sighed. “No one makes burgers as good as these.”

  “Agreed.” Rob swiped a huge fry through the catsup. “Or quarter potato fries. I’ve tried to duplicate both and failed.” He chewed and swallowed. “How was Tammy?”

  “Delightful. Hope you don’t mind that I gave her a bath.”

  “Isn’t she too small to sit in the tub? I forgot to buy one of those basin things.”

  Andi laughed. “I used the sink.”

  “I never thought of that.”

&n
bsp; “How did you bathe her?” An image of a nude Rob in the tub trying to wash a slippery baby stirred. She imagined his bare chest with a sprinkling of dark hair. Heat sizzled.

  “I didn’t. I cleaned her with those wipe things.”

  Andi nearly choked on a bite of burger. She gulped some of the iced tea. “You wiped her down?

  He shrugged. “Was the only thing I could think of. Good thing I bought a dozen containers of those disposable cloths. Caring for a baby is foreign territory.” He pulled out the list Dana had given him. “With luck one of the women on this list can start as a nanny tomorrow.”

  “Finding one is a good idea, but you still need to know the basics. After dinner I’ll show you how to bathe her. Why do you need a nanny?”

  “For someone to be with her during the day.”

  Andi frowned. “Why? You’re no longer practicing medicine. Without Tammy you’ll be bored.”

  Rob placed his fork on the plate. “Bored. Never.”

  His smile caused her to catch her breath. “What’s your new direction? Chasing women. Jetting the globe?”

  Rob’s glare made her cringe. “I’m a writer now. I have a contract for three books.”

  She couldn’t stop a smile. She nearly hugged him. “That’s wonderful. So the nanny will be there so you can write. I’m happy for you.” And she was. At least one of them had found their dream. “You can take time to find the right person.”

  “Can’t. Edits for the first book have arrived and they want them ASAP. I’ve just learned I made a number of beginner’s mistakes.”

  “Does that bother you?” His sheepish grin made her want to kiss him. What a mistake that would be. She dropped her hands to her lap.

  “A little. I thought they would pay for the right to publish and take care of everything so I could concentrate on the next one. That’s not the way the business works.”