by Ashley Ladd
Clestie’s jaw dropped wide and she stared unabashedly.
Kneeling before her in supplication, he lifted grateful, pleading eyes to his sister. “I must beg your help once again, oh great one.”
Aphrodite reached down and slid a finger under his chin and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Love shone brightly in her eyes. “Brother, you do not need to stand on ceremony with me. Leave the pomp and circumstance to our dear step-mama. What is it I can do for you?”
He pointed at the stirring creature against the far wall. “Clestie wishes for the alligator to be turned back into a man.”
Outright curiosity flickered in Aphrodite’s cerulean blue eyes and she fluttered her fingers in the air at Clestie. “Come here, my dear. Let me take a closer look.”
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Clestie looked to be in a trance. “You’re real? I’m not delusional, am I?”
Leo winced and hoped his sister took no offense lest Clestie be reunited with Richard in his reptilian form.
To his immense relief, Aphrodite smiled and chuckled. “You may touch me, my dear, to ascertain my authenticity. I am as real as you.”
Clestie started to stretch out her hand, but then let it hover in midair. “I never dreamed I’d meet you.” She glanced at Leo. “Any of you.”
His sister turned to him with a furrowed brow. “She’s beautiful. I see why you are so besotted, dear brother.”
Gazing at the lovely woman beside him, Leo nodded and beamed with pride. “Yes, indeed.”
Clestie blushed and veiled her eyes with her lush lashes. She shuffled her feet and seemed to be in complete awe.
The beautiful goddess bestowed a warm smile on Clestie, “Really, you may touch. I promise not to turn you into a toad.”
“Have you ever done that?” Clestie bit her lip hard until she tasted the saltiness of her blood.
Aphrodite’s raven curls bounced around her sylphlike frame when she glanced over her shoulder at the alligator. “Did I not turn that vile creature into a reptile?”
“I suppose so.” She splayed her hands. “I didn’t see you do it. I only know that Richard is missing and he wore an ascot exactly like that one over there. I gave it to him for his birthday.”
Aphrodite heaved such a huge sigh her breasts almost spilled out of her tight bustier. “I don’t think he’s learned his lesson, yet. Are you sure you want me to return this mortal to his former self?”
Clestie swallowed hard and nodded.
Leo touched his sister’s arm. “Please turn the beast back into a man.”
Aphrodite looked at the brute and then at Clestie. “I shall do it for you, but mark my words, it will still be a beast. As the goddess of love, you’ll do well to heed my advice. You do not want a swine of a man brutalizing you like that one will. Steer clear of him if you want a happy marriage bed and strong, fine sons.”
Heat flooded Clestie’s torso and she couldn’t look Leo in the eye. Marriage bed? She only wanted Leo in her marriage bed. Well, maybe not now, after the macho schmuck had run amok. Confident she wouldn’t spill out of her sensible buttoned-up blouse she clamped down hard on her wayward emotions and thrust out her chest. “I have no intention of taking back any man who struck me. He was history the moment he showed his true colors. But neither does he deserve this fate.”
With a flick of her bejeweled wrist, Aphrodite said, “Revert to your true form, human.”
102 Heavenly Hijinks
Within the space of a ragged breath, Richard stood befuddled before them, naked except for the ascot dangling about his neck.
Richard quickly covered his private parts with his hands and sprinted behind her counter. Hatred brimmed in his darkened eyes and he spat out, “What did you people do to me? No one turns me into an alligator and gets away with it. I’ll have you all arrested!”
Amazement throbbing through her, Clestie let her gaze ping-pong from Richard to Aphrodite to Leo. “It’s true.”
Aphrodite nodded. “Yes, my child. ‘Tis true.”
Clestie hardly noticed the goddess or Richard. Despair filled her as she turned to Leo. “So you’re leaving.”
Leo pulled himself up to his full height and he held himself rigid. “Have you not wished it so?”
Clestie’s emotions fluctuated dizzily and she truly didn’t know what she wished. She wished for him to stay forever, and conversely, she wished for him to hurry up and leave to ease the pain slashing her to ribbons. “I-I don’t know.” She hung her head for several seconds and shuffled her feet. And then on a ragged sigh, she looked up and met his steady gaze. “Does it matter what I want? You have to go whether I want you to stay or not, so what’s the purpose of me baring my heart?”
Leo cursed under his breath and pulled her into his arms. He cradled her against his heart and gently rocked back and forth. “Shush. Love is never wasted.”
She wished she’d never heard of love. “Love stinks!”
Richard snorted. “Yeah. Tell me about it.”
As one they turned to Richard and shouted, “Who asked you?”
Aphrodite glared at the naked intruder. She lifted her delicate hand and snapped her fingers in the air. “I can turn you back into an alligator—or better yet, a slithering snake—this fast. What, pray tell, are you still doing in my presence?”
Richard tucked his chin against his chest and dashed out of the store.
Aphrodite drawled, “Don’t come back now. You hear?” She turned to Clestie and shook a finger at her. “I hope you’ll do the right thing.” She paused and gazed adoringly at her brother and pinched his cheek. Then she sobered and turned her somber gaze on Clestie. “Just like you harassed me into doing.”
Clestie’s heart sank like a stone. “I have to help Leo return home.”
Aphrodite looked extremely serious. “Yes. Before the world stops spinning.”
Clestie gulped. How little and insignificant she suddenly felt. Her eyes widened, and she asked huskily, “Really?”
A sunny smile erupted on the deity’s face and she tittered aloud. “No, not really. But it’s good to know you mortals can still be so gullible. All hope isn’t lost.”
If only…
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Shrugging, Clestie spread her hands wide before her. “But how? I’m only just learning how to read the tarot and make astrological charts. I don’t know any spells or incantations.” Nor, to her ultimate frustration, did anything out of the ordinary happen when she wiggled her nose or blinked. Not even the “boink” sound effect that always accompanied magic gone awry on all the old TV shows.
Aphrodite spread her suddenly shimmering palm over Clestie’s heart. The glow seemed to reach inside Clestie’s soul and awaken a dormant magic.
Hot and cold chills assaulted Clestie and she shivered uncontrollably. “What’s happening to me?”
Leo slid his arm around her waist and lent his strength to her when she wobbled. “She’s helping you to tap into your magic…so you can help me.” He gazed down into her eyes with love.
Shaken to the depths of her being, Clestie could only nod. Her voice was playing hooky and refused to come out of hiding. Finally it decided to cooperate and she squeaked out, “So I really do have the power? But what do I do?”
Aphrodite glanced over her shoulder and then up at the heavens. She lowered her voice to an almost inaudible hush. “Officially, I’m not allowed to help Leo.”
Leo lowered his voice as well. “Technically speaking, you’re helping Clestie—and then she’ll help me.”
Aphrodite’s luminescence dimmed and her smile faded. “I doubt Father or our dear step-mama will see it our way. But I can’t stand to see lovers fighting. Divorce is at an all-time high.”
“’Tis very sad,” Leo agreed.
They couldn’t possibly be sadder than her. Sniffing, Clestie tried to check her tears. She reprimanded herself for being so foolishly selfish. This was the Leo, the zodiac constellation. He didn’t belong solely to her. He never could, even
if he wished to.
They were asking her to give up her happiness for the greater good—and so she must. But pain slashed her apart and she couldn’t breathe for the thought of never seeing him again—except as lights in the night sky. She tried to joke and ended up sounding flippantly cavalier. “So do I just say abracadabra and wave my magic wand?”
Aphrodite quickly shrank to thimble size and perched on Clestie’s earlobe. She hid herself beneath Clestie’s curls and whispered, “Put your hands in Leo’s and concentrate hard. Close your eyes and with all your being, wish him to go home.”
Clestie twitched where the goddess tickled her and chills coursed down her spine.
Aphrodite crooned in her ear, “Now say, ‘Go home, Leo.’”
Clestie couldn’t let Leo go without one last final kiss of farewell. “May we have a moment alone?”
“I wish I could suspend this moment in time just for you, for you truly touch my heart, but I must implore you lovebirds to make it quick. No telling when daddy-dearest will pop up. He has eyes everywhere.”
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Clestie tried to drag in air but couldn’t fill her lungs. Too many words wanted to tumble from her lips, too many emotions rioted in her heart and too many unsaid things clamored to get out. But her tongue refused to work and her eyes stung with the force of bitter tears. So she lifted her tremulous lips and stood on tiptoe until they touched Leo’s.
Leo gazed down at her with heartbreaking pathos. He cupped her cheeks and caressed her lips with his. His thumbs traced the line of her jaw. “I have never met a woman so precious, so special, and my heart will always belong to you.”
“And I’ll never forget you, you big lug.” Playfully, Clestie punched his shoulder, failing dismally in her mission to appear blasé. The punch turned into a floppy slap, barely a graze of her knuckles against him.
Don’t break down and cry. Don’t you dare break down and cry.
She was a tough, self-possessed Scorpio, and she wanted him to remember her with her head held high. She pushed out her breasts and squared her shoulders. She wanted Leo to remember her for all eternity, long after she had returned to the dust of the earth. In this small way, she would be immortalized—and she did not want to be immortalized as a crybaby.
Against her lips he murmured as he sensually ground his groin against hers. “Are you going to stay and help run Petunia’s shop?”
She nodded. There was nowhere else on Earth she would rather be. Only she no longer wished to be on Earth, alone. Not wanting him to know how her heart was breaking, she faked a happy smile. “Of course.”
Aphrodite popped back on her ear. “No nookie, now. Wind it up. Trust me, you do not want to experience the wrath of Zeus.”
Did it really matter what Zeus did to her? But Clestie didn’t want anything untoward to happen to Leo or Aphrodite.
Clestie tried to be flip, to hide behind her abysmal sense of humor. “It’s been nice knowing you.”
Eek! Could she be a bigger dork? At least she could’ve mimicked some classic romantic movie and stolen some poignant parting line to save face. But she was a dancer, not an actor, so she gave herself a tiny break.
“I’ll never forget you,” Leo murmured huskily against her ear. “I wish it could be different.”
So did she. Briefly, she thought that if he truly loved her, he’d give up the universe, his godship, his duties. But then she felt horribly, wickedly selfish even thinking such a thing for so much as a split second.
“Ding ding ding. Time’s up. Maybe I can arrange a conjugal visit if you’re a good boy and girl.”
Leo grimaced. “I don’t want to go back to prison. I didn’t realize how trapped I was in heaven.”
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Clestie shook her head in awe. “It doesn’t sound like prison.” So even heaven could be lonely without love.
“Say it now. I think I smell some of Zeus’ dirty ratfinks. We can’t risk wasting any more time.” To Leo, Aphrodite hissed, “Bid her adieu. Tell her you’ll love her forever and all that mushy, gooey stuff.”
Leo cast a questioning look to his sister. Then he turned a gentler, loving gaze on Clestie. “I’ll love you forever.”
“Ditto,” Clestie said spurning the traitorous word. Love had turned out to be just another four-letter word. Like Zeus. And Hera. So this was the death the tarot had spoken of. The end of her time with Leo. The death of her newfound love.
Aphrodite pinched Clestie so hard on the ear that she yelped. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“Say it! Do I have to cast a spell on you? Or threaten to give you fat legs with ugly clubfeet?”
“Okay, okay.” Clestie was quite attached to her legs just the way they were, thank you very much, although if she could trade them for another day with Leo, she wouldn’t hesitate. Seeing how that wasn’t a choice, she would let the goddess think she’d won. A burning need to say the words assailed her and pushed their way past her throat. “I love you.”
Leo flashed a brilliant, blinding smile down at her. “I know.”
Clestie rolled her eyes. “I think you love yourself more than I could possibly ever love you.” And she loved the prideful, beautiful lion more than anything in the universe.
“Impossible. I love you more than any man has ever, will ever, love any woman.”
Aphrodite sighed and flew between them and extended her palms flat out to their faces. “While this is all very romantic and heart-melting, we really must be going.” She turned to Clestie. “Now say it!” she roared, shaking the building.
Leo grabbed Clestie to him and crushed her lips with his searing kiss until her knees buckled and she was clinging to him for support. When he finally released her, her pulse pounded so loudly in her ears she was sure she’d go deaf.
She had to do the deed now before she found herself incapable. She couldn’t bear to drag this out any more. “Go home, Leo.”
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Chapter Nine
Leo and Aphrodite shimmered away even as his name still echoed on Clestie’s lips. Swiping away stinging, unwelcome tears, she added, “Go ahead, get outta here.”
“Oops, did I interrupt something?” Elizabeth said as she entered the shop. She pointed to the apartment. “I’ll just go and hide until you’re in a better mood.”
Clestie looked up at the only other living member of her family, her only anchor left in this world, and ordered, “Get your butt over here. And you’re not interrupting anything. There’s nothing left to interrupt.”
“What’s that cryptic remark supposed to mean?” She looked around. “Where’s blondie?”
The tears threatened to overcome Clestie again and she paused until she could get them under control. Flippantly, she waved her arm toward the sky. “Oh, blondie’s gone to his eternal resting place in the sky.”
All color drained from Elizabeth’s face and she gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Do you mean he’s—he’s—dea—”
Aghast that she had scared her cousin, Clestie rushed to clarify. “Oh god, no. I didn’t mean that. I sent him back to where he belongs.”
Elizabeth slumped and heaved a sigh. “Whew! You had me going. I thought one of those gators got him.”
“Almost.” Clestie shuddered at the memory of Richard trying to swallow Leo whole.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she clutched Clestie’s wrist and dragged her to a chair. “Huh? I take a little nap to get over all the excitement and instead I miss the best part.”
Clestie scowled. “Believe me, you missed the worst part. I found the magic within me and I sent him back to the heavens.”
Elizabeth just stared at Clestie as if she’d lost her mind. “Uh-huh. I see.”
“No, you don’t see, but don’t take my word for it. Look up in the heavens tonight and you’ll see that Leo is back in his rightful place. Take notes on all your Leo-born babies and see if they’re acting normal again. Go on the web and check the Leo message boards.”
> “You believe what you’re saying, don’t you?” Elizabeth dug in her pocket and withdrew her phone. She flipped it open and searched for a number. “I know this friend of a friend of a friend that I think we should speak to.”
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Recoiling with disgust, Clestie scraped her chair back and jumped up. “I don’t need a shrink. I saw Aphrodite change an alligator into Richard. And I saw her and Leo shimmer away.”
Elizabeth followed her and wrapped her arms around her. “Oh, precious. You’ll get over Leo. You don’t have to pretend—”
Clestie broke loose and whirled on her cousin. “I’m not crazy and I’m not making this up.”
“I’m happy for you—I think.” Confusion laced Elizabeth’s brown eyes, making them a darker shade than usual. Then she wrinkled her nose and added, “I mean, I’m not happy that Leo’s flown the coop. I meant, congratulations about your life getting back on track. Ooh! I’m messing this all up.”
Clestie took pity on her cousin and hugged her. “I know what you mean. Stop stressing. I’ll survive.” Heck! She might even learn to be happy again some day way into the future. She snorted so hard moisture sprayed from her nose. Mortified, she covered her face and turned away. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Elizabeth laughed infectiously and Clestie caught the bug. Together, they fell to the floor giggling.
* * * * *
Twinges of sadness niggled at Clestie when she placed the “Help Wanted” sign in the front window. She didn’t want to examine it too closely as she tried hard not to feel anything for anyone, to be like an unemotional, unfeeling rock.
The bells above the door jangled as a welcome summer breeze was let into the shop. Mr. Chang took the sign from her hand, quirked a brow, and read it aloud. “Help Wanted.” Then he studied her. “What’s this? Are you thinking of leaving us?”
