Sophie's Smile: A Novel

by Harper, Sheena

  Heart not whole but fragile and waiting for the void to be filled

  Waiting that is, until now.

  The gentle touch, look, sound that you bestow my way

  Fills the void that was always there.

  Each gentle breath

  Each tender caress

  Fills me with unknown satisfaction

  Nothing can compare.

  Movies are fiction

  Dreams personified, perfection

  Books are expressions of common desires unfolded

  Then why does my reality seem to be but a dream?

  A scene, a feeling

  Written by writers, spoken by actors

  Meant for the purpose of fantasy,

  of idealistic sensation

  An exaggeration of a realistic moment

  Can it be possible even, that reality be better than a dream?

  I believe in destiny

  Living life as it comes

  and letting moments happen as they may

  Now that I’ve found you,

  I can truly be happy and at peace.

  Everything has come into place

  Embraced by your love, bound by your soul, and caught by your heart.

  You are my soul mate

  Bound together by mystic powers, converged by the simple act of love.

  Chance and luck crossed paths that night on Nov 11th

  We were meant to find each other.

  In a world so big that anyone can be lost in,

  But you are my world, and thereby, I am lost in you.

  You are the best gift I have ever gotten and will ever receive.

  I love you, Liam Henry Sullivan.

  42

  “Thanks for the delicious meal, Mr. Sullivan.”

  “You are most welcome. Please, call me Jack.”

  “Okay,” I tensed—I just couldn’t call him Jack (seemed too informal).

  Jack cleared his throat, “Well, I’m done for the night, you guys can just leave the dishes in the sink, I’ll get them in the morning. Good night.”

  “Good night, Dad.”

  “Good night…”

  Liam started washing the dishes and I helped dry them—there was no way we were letting his dad cook and clean—it was like teamwork and I was now part of the team.

  As I stacked the last of the plates onto the shelf, I felt Liam hook his arm around my waist. He turned me around, pulling me closer, clasped my left hand with his right and swayed me side to side. The next thing I knew, Liam was twirling me around, teaching me the waltz and how to swing dance.

  Liam hummed while we danced across the tiny space, twirling me around as we went. Once in a while he even dipped me gracefully back, each time lifting me into a sweet kiss.

  Cautiously he guided me, wary of the obstacles that stood in our way, across the kitchen floor to the living room and back. We navigated around the table and chairs, the guitar and the upright bass leaned in the corner, and the side table that held his dad’s antique lamp along with a ceramic vase filled with the flowers—pink and white gerbera daisies. Liam bought these flowers for me; perched atop the bouquet was a card that read:

  Sophie—you keep me grounded and sweep me off my feet all at the same time…I love you!—Liam.

  We danced for only a moment, but it could have been a perfect eternity.

  Once I regained my focus and breath, I excitedly went to my car to retrieve the present I brought for him. Curiously, he followed me outside. When I handed him the box, pleasant shock filled his face as glints of gold freckled his caramel eyes.

  “You got me a present? What’s the occasion?”

  “No reason, just that I felt like it. I want to give you so much, Liam.”

  “You’ve already given me more than enough,” he said, bringing the gift inside to the privacy of his bedroom.

  I perched on his bed, anxiously awaiting his reaction as he opened the lid and lifted the monkey out from the box.

  “You got me a stuffed monkey? Hey it even looks like me,” he laughed. “Did you paint this?”

  “Yup. Do you like?”

  “I love it.” He leaned forward to kiss me and then diverted his attention to the folded piece of paper taped to the inside of the box. His eyes lifted. Unfolding the poem, his smile broadened. He took a few minutes to read the poem.

  Near the end his hands shook slightly and when his glimmering eyes lifted from the words to meet my delighted eyes, the soft tears overwhelmed me. He couldn’t even speak. He just pulled me into his arms and held me. Countless minutes went by before he whispered, “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  43

  Liam was holding a bottle of Merlot in his shaking right hand as we walked up to the restaurant with the large yellow and black sign, surrounded by palm trees. White puffy clouds dotted the clear blue sky and a gentle breeze filtered through the late morning heat. Sweat prickled the nape of my neck and I knew that Liam’s undershirt would be soaked by the end of the long-anticipated lunch.

  “Do you think I have time to use the restroom before they get here? I’m so nervous I think I’m going to wet my pants.”

  I held back a giggle, “Don’t worry about it. They’ll love you.”

  “I hope so.” His eyes were filled with worry and his body was shaking with nerves. And before Liam was able to scurry to the little boys’ room I heard my mom’s voice.

  “Sophie, over here,” my mom yelled. I turned, looked up at Liam, and said sorry with my eyes before we turned to greet them.

  “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Park. It is so nice to finally meet both of you. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”

  “Hi Liam,” my mom greeted him with a warm hug.

  “About ten, fifteen minutes,” my dad grinned and offered a firm handshake.

  “I hope the drive wasn’t too bad on your way over here.”

  “No, it was fine.”

  “That’s good,” Liam tensed in the shoulders. “Oh, Mr. Park, here, I got you a bottle of red wine. I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

  “Isn’t the gift supposed to go to my lovely wife?”

  “Oh, um…sorry,” Liam gulped. He was taken aback by my dad’s brashness and squirmed uncomfortably in place, unsure of how to approach the comment.

  “That’s okay, next time,” my dad gave him a little playful shake on the shoulder and motioned for us to take a seat.

  My dad was tough and sometimes cold, but that’s what I admired about him. He loved his family and although he wasn’t a large man, he had an intimidating presence that could unnerve anyone, possibly even the President. He was direct and well-respected. His unyielding confidence led him to great success. He was a man of few words but everyone listened. No one would dare defy him, or doubt his love and unfaltering need to protect his family. I loved him.

  I whispered to Liam, “Don’t you need to use the bathroom?”

  He gave me a hard shake of the head and I knew this was going to be a long lunch.

  “So, what are your plans?” My dad was good at crossing straight into the left hand lane, speeding past the bull-shit and cutting directly to the chase.

  Liam cleared his throat, “Well, I’m at UCSD right now. I took a few years off to work and figure out what I wanted to pursue, and now I’m back.”

  “Yes, my daughter tells me you are quite the student. Straight A’s and all.”

  “Um, yes, well luckily I’m catching right back into the swing of things.” He cleared his throat again. “In the next year or two I’ll probably try to get an internship in my field and then apply to grad school.”

  “Where do you see yourself going?”

  “To grad school?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, UC Davis has a great botany program and so does San Diego State.”

  “Okay, so not too far.”

  “No.”

  “You’re not like one of those weirdo tree-huggers, right?”

  Liam gulped, “No, I’m not.�
��

  My dad nodded. “Okay, well, I don’t know you very well yet, but I do know my daughter and I can tell you that she’s a romantic but she also knows what she wants. When she’s in it, she puts all her emotions on the line. What I’m trying to say is, don’t toy with her.”

  “I love her too, sir,” Liam straightened and looked sincerely at my dad. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt her or let anything bad happen to her. I care about her a lot.” He gave me a warm, sideways glance and squeezed my hand. I squeezed his back.

  I followed my mom to the bathroom to get her thoughts on Liam while my dad continued to grill him in a direct, slightly combative way.

  My mom was a sweet and nurturing lady. Determined, self-sufficient, striving to succeed in anything and everything, especially the trials and tribulations of motherhood. She had an open heart and I loved her dearly.

  “He’s cute and nice.”

  “Yes. So?”

  She shrugged. “If you like him and Dad likes him, that’s enough.”

  Tilting my head, I gave her the come-on-is-that-all look.

  She shrugged as she retouched her lip gloss, “I won’t know until I spend more time getting to know him.” Leaning into the mirror, she consciously turned her face side to side, scrutinizing for unwanted age marks that seemed to increase with each passing day. Just being conscious of her face and body, my mom was able to erase years without having to submit herself to plastic surgery.

  Once she was satisfied, we joined the men back at the tense table.

  My dad’s dark eyes were stern as he contemplated Liam’s most recent response. Liam’s rigid back relaxed slightly once my dad gave a single nod of satisfied approval.

  “Eat, Liam. You haven’t even touched your plate yet,” my mom urged, intervening in order to break the strained silence that seemed to emerge.

  Liam uncomfortably jammed a piece of pizza in his mouth to satisfy my mom’s mothering request. His stomach was bunched up in gnarled knots and he was so stressed. He went through the motions of eating, unable to taste the meal. Without thinking, he chugged his glass of water, increasing the already urgent pressure on his bladder. By the time my parents headed back to Sweetwater, Liam’s bulging bladder was on the verge of exploding.

  Liam started to relax; taking a few deep breaths of fresh air, his shoulders loosened. His easy smile, that I’d come to love so much, returned to his flushed face. I couldn’t help but smile back. Liam answered all my dad’s questions perfectly, always having an answer instead of responding with the dreaded “I don’t know.” My dad hated I-Don’t-Knows.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, I think so.”

  “Well, I love you and I think you were great back there.”

  “Really? I was so nervous, I couldn’t tell if they liked me.”

  “They did.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “You would have been able to tell if he didn’t.”

  “Oh,” he contemplated, “geez, I really have to use to restroom.”

  I laughed cheerfully.

  44

  “I want to meet this fellow who’s making you so happy.” My cousin, Liz, was becoming restless during the hour-long drill fest of my all too new love life. She wouldn’t be the cousin I’d grown up with if she didn’t hound me with questions. Being an only child, she was the closest thing I had to a sister. And being so close, she of all people would be surprised that after twenty-one years I finally fell in love.

  “I am happy, aren’t I?” I teased.

  “Yes, I can tell. You are much happier than I’ve seen you in a while. You’re glowing.” She eyed me then, “Dish. You guys had sex, didn’t you?”

  She was persistent, I’ll give her that; but I wasn’t going to give her the play-by-play (it’s not like she divulged everything to me before). In a way, that’s what made us more like real sisters. Caring about each other enough to hide explicit details from each other, worried that the details might spark disapproval or disappointment.

  “Not all the way.”

  “Explain, please.” She looked like she was just about to strangle me if I didn’t give her something to squeal about.

  “We’ve played around, but…” unsure of how to phrase the part that I needed to say next, I bit my lip, “well, he hasn’t popped it in the hole, if you know what I mean.”

  “Really?” she seemed stunned.

  “Yes, why do you look so surprised?”

  “It sounds like you guys are so…close.”

  “Yea, he’s wonderful,” I gushed, “he’s too good to be true. I want to wait until marriage, or at least try to, and he’s fine with that.”

  “Really? You guys already talked about it? How long have you guys been together?”

  “A little over 2 months.”

  “That’s not that long.”

  “No, but…he tells me he loves me multiple times a day and we just click. It’s like he’s meant for me.”

  “Uh-oh. Soph, that’s very close to saying he’s the one.” She was stunned.

  “I think he is the one.”

  “Wow, Soph. Um, so what do your parents think about him?”

  “They like him…well enough. But my dad’s a little hesitant about him.”

  Liz nodded. She, like everyone else, knew that my dad had a knack for being intimidating.

  “My dad’s not sure if Liam’s being completely himself. He doesn’t think any guy could keep up the ‘perfection’ for too long.”

  Liz chuckled, “Perfection, huh?”

  I smiled, “Yup, you’ll understand what I’m talking about when you meet him.”

  “At this rate, I won’t be meeting him until the wedding.”

  “Funny. But Liz, I’ve been with him for almost two months now and I feel like we know each other so well. And he really is that perfect. I was skeptical too in the beginning.”

  “I’m happy for you, Soph. You deserve to be with a great guy.”

  “Thanks,” I was gushing and I didn’t care. I was in love.

  ~ Liam ~

  45

  Stroking her hair, I giddily watched over her soft relaxed face, her steady breath, and her slight smile radiating against the white cotton sheets. Sophie, you make me so happy. Inching my way off the bed, careful not to wake her, I tucked the sheets around her warm body and kissed her gently on the lips. Steadfastly, I escaped to the kitchen to begin my mission—surprise Sophie with a delicious treat.

  When I entered the kitchen, Dad was already finishing his second cup of coffee and was halfway done with the arduous Sunday crossword puzzle.

  “Hey Bud, sleep well?”

  “Yup,” I grinned widely.

  “Is Sophie still asleep?”

  “Yeah, she’s tired from studying for finals.”

  “You guys sure study a lot.” There was no underlying meaning behind his comment. He was actually surprised by the amount of studying that’s required these days.

  “Are you making soda bread?”

  I was taking out the mixer, flour, buttermilk, butter, baking soda, baking powder, sugar, eggs, and raisins.

  “Yeah, Sophie never had soda bread so I wanted to make it for her. Give her a taste of the Irish in me,” I winked.

  “Sounds good to me.”

  While I was preparing breakfast, I kept one ear toward the bedroom—I didn’t want Sophie to come into the kitchen until I was done. All quiet on the western front. I smiled. Sophie sure can sleep. My little sleeping beauty.

  “Sophie,” I cooed, “Sophie—wake up, beautiful.”

  “Hmmm,” the hand that peeked over the covers moved slightly.

  I laughed, “Come on, wake up. I made you breakfast.”

  “Breakfast?” she opened one eye and sniffed, “Mmmm, what smells so good.” I moved the platter closer to her face so she could get a good whiff. She stirred a little more, this time stretching out her legs.

  Blinking her eyes, she turned over and reached for her glasses. �
�You made me breakfast?”

  With her glasses on, the delectable spread came into focus. On the platter were scrambled eggs, cantaloupe wedges, a few hunks of freshly baked Irish soda bread, a side of blueberry jam, and a cup of good ol’ joe.

  “Silly, I made you Irish soda bread since you’ve never tried it before. And since it’s almost St. Patrick’s Day, I figured it would be the perfect time.”

  “Wow, you brought me breakfast in bed. Wait, it’s still warm…when did you make the bread?” she asked, in between big mouthfuls. She closed her eyes, letting the flavors meld in her mouth as she twisted in place (her happy-my-tummy-is-satisfied dance).

  “I made it just now, while you were sleeping.”

  “Oh, wow,” she said sheepishly, “I can’t believe I slept through it.”

  “No worries, I wanted to surprise you.”

  “You’re wonderful,” she smiled, and my heart melted.

  “Thanks, doll—but I think you’ve got it backwards. You’re the wonderful one.”

  Suddenly, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Spring Break was on the horizon and I desperately wanted to spend every moment of it with Sophie, but…

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Huh?” Sophie was looking at me then, eyes wide with concern, her hand resting on my hand instead of her fork, and I realized that I had drifted off just now thinking about my grandfather, who, truthfully, was dying.

  I cleared my throat, “Well, I talked to my grandmother yesterday.”