Midsummer's Eve

by Kitty Margo

  “So Eve, when was your last romp in the hay?” Teri queried, immediately returning to her favorite topic of discussion.

  Did she seem suspicious or was it all in my mind? I had asked Tammy and Mallory not to tell her that Adam and I were back together until after girl’s night. I didn’t feel like being the victim of her catty comments or insults tonight.

  “To be honest, I don’t even remember. In fact, it’s quite possibly that my coochie has grown shut by now.” I laughed, unable to look her in the eyes. “At least four months I would think.”

  “What about you, Tammy?” Mallory asked, scooping out a healthy portion of beef, a side of asparagus and about a pint of potato salad.

  “Thaturday night, but it wathn’t that good.” Tammy plucked a roll from the napkin-covered breadbasket. “He didn’t do the betheth thing.”

  The bestest thing, in Tammy lingo, being the predominant use of lips and tongue on ones nether region.

  “Well, why ever not?” Mallory seemed both shocked and appalled by the notion that a man would actually refuse a woman oral sex. Actually, she appeared downright distraught by the news.

  “He thaid he didn’t believe in doing it. That he had never done it, in fact.” Tammy took a bite from a yeast roll and slathered more honey butter on it. “He thaid it was nathy, can you believe that thit? I bet he wouldn’t think Thakira’s wath nathy.”

  “She bets he wouldn’t think whose was nasty?” Teri queried.

  “Shakira’s,” I translated.

  “Oh, hell, even I wouldn’t have a problem nibbling on that twat! I don’t know what his problem is, Tammy. I only hope you didn’t suck his lollipop before you found out about his aversion to juicy fruit. At any rate, I suggest you move on. He hardly sounds worthy of your time. Oral sex certainly doesn’t feel nasty to me.” Teri smiled dreamily. “Why, in my opinion it’s one of the necessary life skills.

  “You know, I had always heard that black men wouldn’t go down on a woman either. Well, I can assure you that’s a lie.” Mallory grinned and wiggled her bottom on the stool. “Antwan slurps mine like it’s a vanilla ice cream cone.”

  “You girls won’t know the true meaning of slurping until you get with a man who can remove his teeth and just use his gums,” Teri said and shivered at the thought. “Devine.”

  “Whew! That wasn’t the mental picture I needed during dinner.

  As usual, the meal was absolutely superb. Cooking was just one of Teri’s many talents including building a dog house, decorating, repairing the gutters, needlework, building a dog fence around the yard or refinishing furniture. She could do it all without breaking a single acrylic nail.

  One of the perks of having Teri as a friend is that she cuts and colors our hair for free. So, after the meal, Mallory commented that her ends needed a trim. Teri led us upstairs to her bathroom and eagerly shoved Mallory down on a stool and draped a cape around her. This was a highly unusual event, as I felt reasonably certain that some of the hair would have to land on Teri’s immaculate floor. I just couldn’t see her allowing this to happen, but as shocking as it was, that seemed to be her plan.

  Mallory had been attempting to allow her usually inch long, spiked hair to grow, which annoyed Teri to no end. “You have a round face, Mallory, and all that hair fluffed out around your face only makes it appear rounder, fuller, and for lack of a better word… fatter.” Teri's tone implied that she had already informed Mallory of this on more than one occasion. Admittedly Mallory’s hair was naturally curly and very, very full. “Before I cut it why don’t you let me straighten it and take out some of the fullness?”

  Teri was a huge fan of straight hair and given the fact that she could be very persuasive, few of her clients even owned curling irons.

  “Will I look good with straight hair?” Mallory’s words came out in an annoying whine.

  Teri cast a sideways glance at me with eyes that asked if the girl could make it through one entire day without talking through her nasal passages? Yet for once she almost held her tongue and said, “It couldn’t look any worse than it does now.” That would have seriously pissed some people off, but we were accustomed to Teri’s biting sarcasm and it rolled right off her.

  We chatted about the latest episodes of Dancing with the Stars and Pretty Little Liars while we suffered through an entire CD of Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits. In between belting out songs, and the occasional random twirl around the room, Teri applied chemicals and combed Mallory’s hair straight.

  After drying and styling Mallory’s appearance changed dramatically. She was transformed from country to city chic in less than two hours. The switch from curly to bone straight was sensational. It added an air of sophistication and erased several years from her appearance. Given the amount of twirling in front of the mirror, Mallory was loving it too. “I love it! Teri, you are a miracle worker!”

  “So they say.”

  “Next month, it’ll be my turn for a makeover,” Tammy insisted.

  “Let’s not make this a habit.” Teri was quick to point out. “You girls know you need to book appointments at the salon. I made an exception tonight, because I simply could not tolerate that…thatch on Mallory’s head for another second.” She cast a doleful gaze at Mallory and continued, “How you could appear in public with that unsightly bush sprouting from your head simply behooves me.”

  Ignoring her rhetoric, Mallory hugged Teri and thanked her profusely. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 9:00. Adam’s shift would end in two hours. I needed to hurry home and be waiting with open arms.

  As we were getting our coats, Teri turned off the music and came to stand directly in front of me.

  Oh, boy!

  Here it comes!

  When she turned off her music watch out!

  She leaned over to help me with my coat and whispered, “Please tell me that what I heard isn’t true, Eve. Ease my mind and reassure me that you did not take the imbecile back?”

  I cast a wicked glare at the traitors who suddenly couldn’t seem to pull their rapt attention from one of Lawrence’s horrible abstract paintings. A lot of good it had done to ask them not to broadcast the fact that Adam and I were on speaking terms again. It was Mallory. I knew asking her to keep a secret was like asking Adam not to tell a lie, impossible.

  “I don’t know if you would exactly call us being back together.” I was hedging and she knew it.

  “Oh, you don’t call him spending the last two nights with you being back together? Then please forgive me for jumping to ridiculous assumptions.”

  Here we go!

  “What is the plan, Eve? To pay Eric to keep Chia’s bed hot, so you can keep Adam?”

  Three sets of eyes looked at her in shocked disbelief. That was cold even for Teri! It rarely happened with her, but I felt my blood begin to simmer. How could she be so spiteful and vindictive? To me? “I’m not paying Eric a dime.”

  “You’re not? Oh, then forgive me if I spoke out of turn. I was under the impression that he remained on the clock during his mid afternoon romps with Chia.”

  She had me there.

  Then, totally confusing the three of us as we stood on the stoop of her front steps, she stepped back in and slammed the door. Immediately she opened the door and informed Tammy and Mallory that she desired a private word with them. I didn’t care to hear what she had to say anyway, since it obviously concerned me. I started toward the car mumbling unkind things under my breath.

  Tammy had driven, and her car had an oil leak, so she had parked on the road in front of the manse. I took the shortcut across the lawn and had only taken a few steps when the Pamela Anderson wannabe actually had the nerve to turn on the sprinkler system soaking me from head to toe! I screamed as the ice cold water soaked me through and through in seconds. Then I bolted across her lawn, which was the size of the Panther’s football field at Bank of America Stadium. In my confusion, I ran away from the driveway and into a field of Lawrence’s beloved sod where I was inun
dated with huge blasts of frigid water at every turn.

  Get a grip, Eve!

  I stopped, took a deep calming breath, swiped at the rivulets of water pouring into my eyes and finally spotted the driveway, seemingly about a mile away. I charged back through the sprinkler system and ended up on her doorstep looking like a drowned rat. Just let me get my hands on the spiteful bitch! I would kill her! I pounded on the door with frozen fists.

  Teri opened it and tried to appear quite astonished by the fact that my hair and clothes were soaked and I was dripping large amounts of water on her stoop. “What on earth happened to you?”

  “You did, you conniving bitch!” Failing to think clearly in my icy rage, I slapped her soundly across her implanted cheeks.

  She slapped me back. With a quickness! And since she still had the inner workings and strength of a man, her slap sent me staggering backwards on the steps.

  “Excuuuuuuse me!” she ground out.

  Fortunately, she thought enough of me to catch me before I hit the ground.

  Few people could call Teri a bitch, let alone lay hands on her and get away with it.

  “Don’t even try to pretend you didn’t turn the sprinklers on!” I blubbered and shivered. “I was already frozen clear to the bone from being inside your igloo!” I cried through chattering teeth. “I’ll probably have pneumonia by morning.”

  Snatching my hand, she rushed me inside and forced me into a hot shower fully clothed, while at the same time cooing, “Eve, those sprinklers are on a timer, honey. They come on at this time every night. You know how Lawrence obsesses over his sod.” She stuck her head in the shower, looked at me with a pitiful expression and asked, “Do you honestly think I would do that to you?”

  “Yes.”

  She screamed with laughter. “Me too. Damn, I wish I had thought of it!”

  While I sat huddled in one of her thickest terry robes and an electric blanket, she applied a palm filled with styling gel and vigorously massaged it into my hair and scalp. Tammy and Mallory looked on with apparent amusement at the handprints on both our cheeks as she dried and styled my hair.

  “You know I tend to blurt things out when I should just keep my mouth shut,” she shouted above the noise of the hairdryer. After applying hairspray to force each strand to stay exactly where she wanted it and with what I supposed was her idea of an apology she admitted, “I should probably work on that.”

  “Amen to that sister!” My anger evaporated as we fell into each other’s arms. The girl’s words could cut to the quick, but it was impossible to stay mad at her.

  “I am just so tired of watching that low life piece of dog excrement hurt you. Is he coming over tonight?"

  “Yes.” I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing Adam and she read me perfectly. It was also impossible to hide my emotions from her.

  “Then go home and get ready for him, at least you won’t have to do anything to your hair. There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. You know I love you.”

  “I know.” I smiled as she closed the door behind us. “I love you, too.”

  An hour later, I arrived at home about the same time as Adam and was quick to discover he was in one of his foul moods.

  “Where have you been in your bath robe, Eve?”

  I explained the events at Teri’s with him failing to see the slightest bit of humor in the situation. At times the man could be so trifling.

  We discussed the disturbing news that the company he worked for had recently filed for bankruptcy. We also planned a vacation to the mountains in a couple of weeks, with him failing to mention his recent visit to the vacation spot with Chia. I wondered if he had missed the roll of film yet?

  We grilled barbecued chicken, baked potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil, and corn on the cob with the shucks intact, but the laughter we normally shared was glaringly absent. Since he didn’t seem inclined toward conversation, we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie. I was deliriously happy to have him back home, but it was obvious that his mind was about a zillion miles from my living room.

  When he left the next morning, without so much as a Happy Valentines Day, I filled the tub with bubble bath and hot water and sank down into it as nagging doubt assaulted me. Adam would see Chia at work every day. That was a given. What would happen? Would a sexy smile from her cause him to fall mindlessly back into the same pattern of lust? Was the dashing Eric succeeding in his attempt to eradicate all thought of Adam from Chia’s mind? Could she settle for the admiring attention of just one man? Did Adam really love me? Or was he filling my head with his customary lies?

  Then again, Eric was at work, which meant Chia was alone and could quite easily pick up the phone. Would he answer if she called? Good Lord, I would go insane if I didn’t stop the multitude of doubts from swirling around in my head. Adam had continually asked me to trust him, insisting that he could earn my trust. Could he? Who knew? I could call and try to find out though.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Adam,” I chirped, when he finally answered his phone.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Eve.” He sounded like mine was the last voice he had expected to hear.

  “Tonight’s the night I get to open the sequestered box!”

  “What box?”

  He was so scatterbrained! I heard the pause on his line as he received a beep.

  “Hold on a minute, Eve.” I waited several minutes for him to click back over. Finally he did and hurriedly said, “Hey, Eve… it’s my mom. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Okay, give her my love. Bye.” Evidently, his mom was calling to wish him Happy Valentine’s Day. How sweet. I should send her flowers from him. Lord knows he wouldn’t remember to.

  My skin was beginning to prune, so I forced myself out of the tub feeling the need for a liberal dose of caffeine. There is nothing like the smell of fresh coffee in the morning. I tend to agree with the commercial. It is the best part of waking up.

  In an effort to convince myself that I’d made the right decision by taking Adam back, I drove to the lingerie shop in town and bought a sexy lace teddy. After considerable debate, I chose a slinky red number with garter belt, hose and 6 inch heels. No doubt I would tower over Adam, but I didn’t plan to wear the shoes or any other part of the ensemble more than a few minutes.

  With my sexy attire laid across the foot of my bed and me counting the minutes until midnight, I called all three of the girls hoping to wile away the hours. Teri was in the process of applying chemicals to a client’s hair. Mallory was riding the floor scrubber around the plant. And Tammy was busy accounting. None of them had time to talk to me on what was sure to be one of the most momentous days of my life. Huh! Some friends!

  Why was this day going by so slow? I couldn’t even sit still long enough to watch my favorite cooking show, Barefoot Contessa. I was a bundle of nervous energy, so I went next door to my parent’s house.

  We feasted on a delicious supper of barbecued chicken, creamed potatoes and gravy, pinto beans, homemade biscuits, and a plate of fresh, sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, while I answered countless questions about my confusing social life. My dad said things like, “Be careful, Eve. A skunk ain’t gonna lose his stripe,” and “Some men just ain’t the settling down type.” Mom had to add, “Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses and move on.” As usual, I ignored their wisdom.

  Finally at 9:00, I soaked in a steaming tub of water and then rubbed Japanese Cherry Blossom Body Lotion from Bath and Body Works over every inch of skin. I placed candles throughout the bedroom, popped Adele into the CD player and slipped into the new teddy I had bought for my Valentine. Everything was perfect. Now came the interminable waiting.

  Finally, at long last, I would be allowed to open the jewelry box and see which setting he had chosen for my brilliant diamond. I did so hope he had asked for a few suggestions from the sales lady.

  The phone rang and I knew the girls had finally found time in their busy schedules to talk to me. Mal
lory and Tammy were positive that it was an engagement ring and were already discussing color schemes for their bridesmaid dresses. Teri insisted that if it were indeed a ring, it would be a toe ring.

  In my heart I was convinced it was an engagement ring, and after tonight I would be Adam’s betrothed. I practiced the word several times and just hearing fiancé roll off my tongue sent a thrill racing through me. I would without doubt tie up Ma Bell for days as I called family and friends to inform them of our engagement.

  Who knew, we might even set the wedding date tonight and then I could spend every waking minute planning for the big event. I would suggest June. I love June weddings. First I would need to call my son so he could request time off to walk me down the aisle. Oh! So much to do!

  I pulled my old robe over the teddy, anxious to see Adam’s surprise when I let it drop during the little strip tease I had rehearsed after watching Striptease three times. I could hardly wait! This was going to be a night that neither of us would ever forget, and the night that relocated the illustrious Chia to the back of his mind forever.

  I was sitting on the couch, watching the clock and tapping my high heels impatiently on my polished wood floor when the phone rang at 10:58. It was Justin who unexpectedly burst forth with, “Chia got a dozen red roses delivered to her at the plant today.”

  “Who were they from?” I asked, elated that she had received flowers and was hopefully moving on with her life. “Eric?” Maybe she and Eric were fast becoming an item. “I imagine she was quite giddy.”

  “She was giddy all right, Eve.”

  Nine

  I’ll just bet she was. “Was she rambling on and on about Eric’s finer attributes?” I giggled.

  “The roses weren’t from Eric.”

  “Well, since the girl seems to have any number of admirers,” I mumbled around the rising hysteria that was suddenly choking the life from me, “I really couldn’t begin to guess who they were from.”