Capture Me

by Natalia Banks

  Am I asking too much, she had to wonder. Am I being unreasonable?

  The phone rang again, a more comforting name on the screen. “There he is,” Lorraine said. “The last Queen of Scots.”

  Jeremy Bush laughed, a high-pitched rattle of bubbling amusement. “Off with her head!” Lorraine laughed too, more out of respect or affection than anything else. Jeremy went on, “What’s the sitch, bestie? Coming out tonight?”

  “Jeremy, every night you call me, every night I say no. When are you going to take a hint? I don’t like that whole scene.”

  “Lo’, you gotta get over it.”

  “You’re the one who keeps bringing it up.”

  “Because you can’t leave it behind. You’ll be totally safe in the club; I’ll stick with you every step of the way.”

  “That’s what you said that night.”

  “Lo’…”

  “I know, I… I don’t blame you, Jer, I don’t. It’s just…y’know, I got this job thing on my mind. I wouldn’t be any fun.”

  After a long, tense silence, Jeremy said, “Is that all that’s on your mind—the library?”

  “Well no, not exactly.”

  “It’s that guy you’re seeing…or not seeing.”

  “I’m seeing him,” Lorraine said. “We’re going out Saturday night.”

  “Why?”

  After a curious moment, Lorraine said, “Excuse me?”

  “Why are you going out with him? You’re not going to sleep with him. Why are you wasting your time and his money?”

  “Jeremy!”

  “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” Lorraine wanted to disagree, to contradict her oldest and dearest gay friend. Unfortunately, he was her smartest friend too. “Just write him a Dear John letter and be done with it—find a guy you could really love.”

  “It’s not that I…and it’s not just Donal, I…yeah, guess I know what you mean. But it’s hard, and Donal’s such a nice guy. I keep feeling like it’s my fault. It can’t be easy, having a platonic relationship like this.”

  “Then why do it? Let him bust your cherry. He’s not some maniac—”

  “No, I know that, I… I do, he’s a very sweet, very gentle person. It’s just…I dunno; it’s hard to explain.”

  “No, it’s not. But you can’t go on the rest of your life being afraid, shutting yourself off from other people. It’s not healthy, it’s not any kind of a life.”

  She stammered for an answer, but just couldn’t find one. But between best friends, no explanations were necessary.

  So Jeremy finally said, “Alright, have it your way. If you change your mind, we’ll be at Sables.”

  “Have fun.”

  Again alone in the quiet of her apartment, Lorraine leaned back into the couch, the television off, the neighbor’s cat Whiskers whining unseen in the distance.

  Lorraine finally had to ask herself, What do I do about Donal? We haven’t been seeing each other for very long, but I can sense he’s growing impatient with me. Should I break my rule of waiting to lose my virginity for the man of my dreams and let him…? I mean…will I ever meet the man of my dreams? Maybe it’s crazy to keep waiting. No, I won’t be pressured. It just doesn’t feel right. Then I guess I should write him a Dear John letter, like Jeremy said. Dear John letter—only Jeremy would use such an old-timey phrase. What would a modern version be—a Dear John email?

  Then something occurred to Lorraine—a spark of excitement igniting in the back of her imagination. Wait a minute: a letter…

  Chapter 2

  An Open Letter to My Fellow Citizens of Denver, Colorado, and the Great Nation of the United States of America.

  Greetings, Friends and Fellow Americans,

  I am Lorraine Devonshire of Denver, Colorado. I was born to Lawrence and Sally Devonshire, still married and pillars of the Denver community—my father as an accountant and my mother as a real estate agent. We love each other, we love our community, and we love our country.

  But all of these things, to one degree or another, are at risk.

  I am a librarian at the Hadley branch of the Denver Public Library, and word is that our branch is about to be closed. Furthermore, the entire public library system is at risk. Our local library may seem like a little thing to lose, but it is the next soldier to fall on the frontlines on the battle against ignorance. It’s not just a building but a citadel—a fortress to protect the vaults of history. One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World was the Library of Alexandria, and when it was burned, our species lost untold treasures—secrets which now must remain locked, for all time.

  I know that this is Denver, not ancient Alexandria, and that one small building won’t reduce the overall canon of knowledge we’ve accumulated. I don’t mean to overstate it. But the fall of the public library is another sad event in the same chain which links the book burnings of the nineteen-fifties, the suppression of dissent in Europe only decades before that, and the long and gruesome history of tyranny and iron rule that our country, the United States of America, was meant to undo, once and for all.

  But our country has taken a turn, away from liberty and freedom of thought, away from education and science and ecology. Social services are disappearing one by one. The public library may seem like a relic, and maybe it is. But it’s a relic of a time when the government cared about its citizens and provided for them, a time when we all had our place in the family of mankind.

  And what benefit will there be to closing this library, and all public libraries thereafter? A small amount of money will be transferred from one column to another. No other public services will benefit, as they’re also being gutted. And where does that money go?

  That’s really all I ask, friends, that you give this some thought. You may not have visited your public library recently, but maybe you should. When was the last time you held a book in your hands, stumbling upon books you didn’t even know existed? Remember the smell of those paper pages; remember the thrill of youthful discovery? That’s something the internet cannot offer. That’s something our children and all of America forevermore has a right to enjoy.

  What can we do? Write to your congressman and ask for some relief. I have created a petition on the website: usignit.com. Tell the people we pay to run our cities that we’d like to keep our libraries, our histories, our futures.

  Thank you for your time and attention. I remain in your service,

  Lorraine Devonshire

  Sally Devonshire shook her head and took a sip of her martini, her red hair freshly dyed. “I don’t see what you have to gain, dear, that’s all.”

  Lorraine wasn’t sure how to answer, and she didn’t really want to be in the position where she had to. “I had to do something, Mom. It’s the library!”

  “I told you to choose a more practical career path. You could have stuck to that court reporting like I told you, you’d never be out of work.”

  “I’d never be out of the courthouse either,” Lorraine said. “All those crimes, testimonies, people lying under oath, sobbing and breaking down… No, I couldn’t do that every day of my life, Mom. Would you?”

  Sally shrugged, draining the last of her martini glass. “I’m in real estate, dear. What do I know?”

  Larry pulled his newspaper down from in front of his white face and graying brown hair. “Take a stand; I’m proud of you, honey!”

  Larry’s enthusiasm and broad smile was genuine. If there was one thing about him, he always believed in taking a stand for what you believe in.

  “Thanks dad, it means a lot… Maybe you can get Mom to see it from our perspective.”

  Sally shook her head. “I hope you don’t get into too much trouble, that’s all.” A sick little nausea curled in the corner of Lorraine’s belly. I know Mom’s just being her usual pain in the ass, she couldn’t help think, but she’s probably right this time. “Couldn’t you just have signed it anonymous?”

  “I… I guess I could have. But then who would have paid attention?”
<
br />   “Nobody,” Sally said. “That’s the point.”

  “That ain’t how we roll, is it, baby girl?” Larry remarked.

  Lorraine couldn’t help but smile, setting a hand on her father’s shoulder. “Thanks, Dad, your support means a lot.”

  Larry smiled. “You know I got your back, Lo’.”

  The next morning, Albert Jenkins wasn’t nearly so supportive. He threw the copy of The Denver Post on Carmen’s little desk in her only slightly larger office. “What were you thinking, Lorraine?”

  Lorraine tried to ignore Carmen’s angry glare and focus on Albert, their mutual boss. “I thought I might raise public awareness—maybe enough people would send letters, sign my petition, and we could save the library. Isn’t that what we all want?”

  Albert shook his big, round head. “Of course it is but…there are protocols, channels; you have to follow certain methods—”—”

  “Bureaucracy, you mean,” she said. “But that’s just what’s going to get us all canned, and run the whole public library system into the ground.”

  “This is no way to deal with it,” Albert said. “I’m afraid you’ve left us with little choice.”

  That nasty little nausea curled in Lorraine’s stomach. “You mean…I’m fired?”

  “Of course you are!”

  Carmen couldn’t seem to keep herself from saying, “Mr. Jenkins, please—”

  But Lorraine asked simply, “What’s the difference? We’re all canned anyway.”

  “But your benefits,” Carmen said, turning to Albert. “Can’t we just pretend this never happened?” But a slow shake of Albert’s head told Carmen and Lorraine what his only answer could be.

  Lorraine looked around at the place which had been her childhood refuge, her adult safe harbor, and her latest source of heartbreak. “Soon enough, we’ll all be able to pretend that none of this ever happened. Our children won’t even know the word library.”

  “Times change, Lorraine,” Albert said. “It’s always better to go along. The tree which survives is the one which bends in the wind, and doesn’t allow itself to be broken by it!”

  Lorraine’s lips twitched; she struggled to hold back words that needed to be heard, words she needed to say. But before she could answer and digest the information, several hard knocks fell on the little office door. Lorraine, Carmen and Albert turned to see the door quiver a bit under another cluster of knocks.

  Albert called, “Come in!”

  Chapter 3

  A tall, handsome man stepped into the office, drawing the air from the room and the breath from Lorraine’s lungs. His dusty-blond hair was slightly feathered, perfectly coifed above his sterling-blue eyes.

  “Hello,” he said in a voice that was strong without being too loud—an authoritative flex to his tone as he extended his hand to Albert. “I’m Griffin Phoenix, visiting from New York.” He glanced back at the door. “The name on the door was Carmen Mendez?”

  Carmen extended her hand and he took it. “I’m Carmen Mendez, chief librarian, this is Lorraine Devonshire, and this is Albert Jenkins, from the library commission.”

  But Griffin’s attention was fixed on Lorraine. “Lorraine Devonshire, you’re the person I’ve come to see, actually.”

  Her heart beat just a little faster as she met the gaze of this gorgeous man standing in front of her. She did her best to calm her nerves. “And how may I help you, Mr. Phoenix?”

  “Griffin, please. I came because I’m in town with my son, taking a little skiing holiday, and I read your open letter in the newspaper.” Albert’s eyes shifted from Griffin to Lorraine and back as Griffin went on, “It was quite moving…inspirational, I’d say.”

  “Oh, well, thank you, um, Griffin. You’re very kind to share that,” Lorraine said, blushing.

  “I’m not being kind; it’s true. I didn’t know you’d be so lovely.” A tension filled the little office, but it wasn’t an awkward tension. Nothing about Griffin Phoenix seemed awkward, not in the least. His tall, athletic body was comfortably draped in slacks and a brown leather flight jacket.

  Albert said, “Thank you for stopping by, Mr. Phoenix.”

  “Don’t thank me yet,” Griffin said, pulling out a smartphone and pressing a few buttons on the screen. Lorraine and the others could only watch in perplexed silence as Griffin paused, then said into the phone, “Yeah, this is Griffin Phoenix, I’m calling from the…” He turned to Lorraine, “Which branch is this?”

  “Hadley, on South Grove Street.”

  “The Hadley branch of the Denver Public Library. You wanna go ahead and send somebody down here…? Yeah, and a photographer.… Something like Librarians Letter Saves Library. Yeah, and don’t keep me waiting, eh? I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

  Griffin swiped the screen and pocketed the phone. He pulled a check out of his wallet and handed the check to Albert. “I suppose this should go to you.”

  Albert unfolded the check and read it, his mouth falling open. “Mister Phoenix, this is a million dollars.”

  Griffin shrugged. “Not enough?”

  “Well, um, no, I mean, yes, it’s very generous, of course, but, um…”

  “Will it keep the branch open?”

  “I’m sure it will, yes, but I feel that I should tell you, Mr. Phoenix, that even this is only going to be a-a temporary stay of execution, if you will.”

  “That’s the reason for the newspaper. We’ll set an example, see if we can’t really stir up some publicity for this campaign.”

  Lorraine repeated, “Campaign?”

  “Of course,” Griffin said. “That’s the only way to get anything accomplished in this country. You need media, you need publicity. If you can win in the court of public opinion, everything else falls into place.”

  Lorraine couldn’t disagree, and she didn’t want to contradict this man on that point or any point. She just didn’t know what to say.

  Griffin turned to Carmen and Albert. “You should both be very proud of your Miss Devonshire here.” He asked Lorraine, “It is Miss?” She nodded with a coy smile she couldn’t disguise. “I imagine she wrote that letter at some professional risk.”

  But Albert was quick to say, “Oh no, not at all! We stick by our staff around here, without question. Loyal to a fault, that’s our motto.”

  Lorraine’s eyes found Albert’s lying face, but she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, Lorraine asked Griffin, “You said you were here on a skiing holiday with your son?”

  “Ashe—he’s in periodicals with his nanny. Kid loves the Hollywood Reporter—gonna be an agent someday.”

  Carmen seemed to know what Lorraine was getting at. “Spring break was two weeks ago,” Carmen said.

  Griffin nodded. “We like to avoid the crowds.” Griffin read their expressions, then broke out in an amused little huff at their confusion. “Ashe is homeschooled. Sometimes his tutor travels with us, though in this case it’s just us and Mrs. B.”

  “Homeschooled,” Albert repeated.

  “Tutor,” Carmen repeated.

  “Mrs. B?” Lorraine repeated.

  “Marion Beemish looks after Ashe when I can’t. She’s like his second grandmother.”

  Grandmother, Lorraine thought. Thank God! Wow…wait…what does it even matter? This guy could have and probably does have the most drop-dead gorgeous women throwing themselves at him all the time. I just work at the library—sweet, virginal librarian Lorraine, always doing the right thing. There’s no way he could be interested in me. Our lives are worlds apart. He’s got a son; I’m an only child; I’ve never even babysat before. Calm down, Lorraine; he’s just here to save the library. She felt her face flush.

  Griffin led Lorraine and the others out of the little office to introduce his boy, but they were met by a sweaty, balding man in a red flannel. A second man carrying a camera took pictures of everything, avoiding the children sitting at the tables.

  The sweaty man extended a business card. “Dorian Gale, the Denver Post, my photog
rapher, Stu Jeffers. You called about a story?”

  “Gave you the scoop, Dorian,” Griffin said. “You know that open letter you published, by librarian Lorraine Devonshire here?”

  “Sure do, phone’s been ringing off the hook.”

  “Get ready to tear it outta the wall. I’m donating one million dollars to this library to pay for its continued operation, due entirely to Miss Devonshire’s letter.”

  “Really?”

  Photographer Stu started clicking pictures of Lorraine, and of Albert and Carmen.

  Griffin said, “I was so moved by her clarity and the grace of her sentiments, I couldn’t help but do whatever I could. And I call upon others like me—the one-percenters—to do the same. We’ve taken enough from the system; it’s time to give back. I know we all give to various charities and organizations that we believe in. And I want to remind the other Fortune Four Hundred and Ninety-nine to put the public library at the top of your give list. If our government won’t spare this sacred institution, it’s up to us to do it.”

  “You live and work in New York?” Dorian asked Griffin. “What brought you here?”

  “I came here on vacation, which I think I’ll be extending…indefinitely.” He glanced at Lorraine, a look of infinite possibility in his eyes. It was like he looked right through her soul. She blushed as she noticed the temperature increasing between her legs. A little shiver ran up her spine as she realized she’d never felt that aroused by any guy she’d ever met before. Let alone with one look. “I want to make sure the library gets back on its feet. And I like Denver, always have. It’s a city unparalleled in its natural beauty.”

  After a few more questions, Griffin shooed the reporter and photographer away and led Lorraine, Albert, and Carmen to the periodicals section.