Heartless

by Zizi Cole

  Heartless

  By: Zizi Cole

  Copyright © 2018, Zizi Cole

  All rights reserved. This book is licensed for your personal entertainment only. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and/or articles.

  Cover design by A to Z Covers and Designs.

  Editing by Amanda “Andie” Ryder

  This is a work of fiction only. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are the sole products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  ISBN-13: 978-1984338365

  Dedication

  Alicia. I appreciate you more than you could ever imagine. Thank you for all you have done for me.

  Part 1: Tobias

  Prologue

  I waited in the shadows for her to come to me. She had promised that we would meet in our spot so I anxiously awaited her arrival. I knew that it wasn’t smart to continue this relationship, but I couldn’t stay away from her. I had tried, but I had always been inexplicably drawn to her.

  When we were children, I had always been drawn to her as well. I was a few years older and shouldn’t have even noticed her, but Malina had always stood out like a beacon to me. As we both grew older, she had become more beautiful and I realized that she also had been looking at me.

  The first time she had approached me was during guard training. It was subtle, but she ran her fingers across my back. Later that evening, I had received a note, asking for me to meet with her out by the pond in the woods. I had met her, and our relationship grew from there.

  I heard a rustle, which brought me from my musing. I glanced back to see her approaching me quietly. I met her halfway and pulled her into my arms. Malina smiled up at me and I felt my heart start pounding in my chest.

  She stood up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely.

  “Malina, I was starting to fear that you weren’t going to come tonight.”

  “I would never leave you waiting for me, my love.”

  She stepped back and began to unlace her dress. My heart began to beat erratically. My excitement raced through my body. As the dress fell off of her, layer by layer, I couldn’t peel my eyes off of her.

  Stepping closer, I cupped her face and looked into her sparkling green eyes. “Are you sure, my darling? This will change everything.”

  She nodded. “Tobias, I couldn’t be more positive. It is you I want to be with for the rest of my life. I want you to be the only one to touch me.”

  I smiled and began to remove my clothing as well. I knew this would be a night I would never forget.

  I stood staring out at the barren land beyond the walls, lost in thought. My friend and mentor, Sir Raynor, set his hand on my shoulder. I could feel his stare burrowing into the side of my head. He squeezed my shoulder and I glanced his direction.

  “Tobias, you know that things cannot progress with Princess Malina. It won’t work. The king will never allow you to wed his daughter. I think it’s best if you cut all ties before something terrible happens. You know how the king’s temper is.”

  I took a deep breath and released it slowly. Raynor was the only person who knew the extent of my relationship with the princess. He was the only one that I could fully trust. “I can’t cut ties with her, Ray. She is my whole being. I am going to ask her- never mind. It’s best if you don’t know.”

  “Son, I hope you know what you are doing. I would hate to see something happen to you. I have raised you since you were brought to the castle. You are like my son. I am proud of the man you’ve become, but you have to be careful. You know that you aren’t at the appropriate station to be a suitable suitor for the princess.”

  “I know.” I stepped away from him and began to make my rounds on the wall walk. Things had changed, from what I had heard, since the collapse had happened. Before the collapse, people had been free to make their own decisions on who they wed. It was a choice, not forced.

  According to the stories, we had reverted to what they used to call the Middle Ages or Medieval Times. Times had definitely changed. Free will was basically just a distant memory and slavery was more prevalent than ever.

  I heard laughter floating up to me, and I recognized the sound immediately. I glanced toward the courtyard and watched as Princess Malina and her ladies-in-waiting were sitting in the garden, talking and laughing. The sound was music to my ears.

  As I watched, Malina’s eyes traveled up to mine and she smiled. With a slight nod, I knew what she meant and excitement raced through me. I couldn’t wait to see her later. The rest of my shift seemed to drag as I anxiously awaited the chance to see my lady once again.

  What I didn’t know, was that our time together was limited.

  We were lying in our spot after a bout of lovemaking, watching the stars. We hadn’t taken time to dress yet and were enjoying the time together, where station didn’t matter. All that mattered was our love.

  “Malina?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Would you run away with me? I’m not sure where we will go, but I want us to be together.”

  She lifted her head and smiled at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. “I would love to, Tobias. When shall we leave?”

  “Tomorrow. Why wait? We both know where our hearts lie. I don’t want to be away from you any longer. I want you to be my wife.”

  “Tomorrow.” She promised as she kissed me.

  The next evening, I was eagerly awaiting in our spot for Malina. I was anxious to get going so we could start our lives together. I heard footsteps approaching and turned to find Raynor and three other guards heading in my direction. Raynor had a look on his face that could only be described as sorrow.

  “Tobias, you need to come with us,” he said softly.

  “Where are we going?” I asked. A lump formed in my stomach, making me want to vomit.

  “The king demands your presence,” Ray told me. I stepped forward and he lowered his voice. “I warned you to walk away. You should have listened.”

  The walk back to the palace and to the throne room was silent. Our footsteps echoed in the hallways. There was no chatter from the servants or the court. I noticed that no one was present in the halls. As we approached the throne room doors, the dread in my stomach became heavier and there were warning bells in my head that I needed to stay far away from that room.

  The doors loomed in front of us, reminding me of the pits of hell. I knew that going through those doors would be changing my future and my fate. As the doors slowly opened, I heard sobbing and my heart dropped. Malina.

  She was lying at her father’s feet, crying with her hand covering her face. He sat upon his throne, staring at me as I walked into the room. I kept my shoulders rolled back and head held high. I wasn’t going to let him see the fear that was racing through my body. No one needed to know that I was so scared I could barely walk. Knights were not afraid. Soldiers were not afraid. Guards were not afraid. I couldn’t let fear overcome me.

  “Tobias,” the king said. The threat in his voice made my blood run cold. I knew that he was a cruel man, but I had never heard him sound so menacing.

  I bowed to him, “Your Majesty. You wished to see me?”

  “I have it on great authority that you have touched my daughter. Ruined her for her future husband. Is this correct?”

  My head came up and I stared into his eyes. “I have not ruined your daughter for anyone. I want to ask for your daughter
’s hand in marriage.”

  He laughed then. A deep laugh that came from his belly. “You, poor, pitiful little soul. What would make you think I would let a lowly guard marry my daughter, a princess? Even if she weren’t a princess, I wouldn’t let her marry you. You have made her nothing but a whore now, I have to marry her off quickly before anyone realizes what has happened.”

  Malina looked up then, to show the bruise forming on the side of her face. Her eyes were defeated and had apology in them. I slightly shook my head at her, hoping she knew what I meant; that she had nothing to be sorry for. She did what she had to do to survive.

  “You will be taken care of. You are to leave when the sun begins to rise, to your new husband.” King Cornelius glared down at his daughter. Then he glared at me. “As for you, Raynor, take Tobias to the dungeon. You will be at the mercy of the inquisitor. Count yourself lucky that you aren’t going to be the entertainment for the executioner. Take him away.”

  As I was grabbed and pulled toward the door to head to the dungeon, I glanced back at Malina, to see her watching me with tear filled eyes. I mouthed that I loved her as I was pulled from the room and out of her sight.

  As I was led to the dungeon, all was silent. I was friends with all the guards and I knew they didn’t want to see me down there, any more than I wanted to go. I also knew I couldn’t jeopardize their positions and lives by resisting my fate. When we stopped at the doors leading to the dungeon, Raynor at the other men, studying their faces, then spoke.

  “I will take it from here. I doubt I need help taking him down to the inquisitor.”

  The other guards walked away without a word, and it was just Raynor and myself standing at the door. He looked at me with misery heavy in his eyes. “Tobias, I don’t know who reported you, but there are eyes and ears all over the castle as you know. I am truly sorry for having this become your fate. Remember even when you feel like giving up, that you are made for more than this life. You can overcome it.”

  He opened the door and led me down the stairs, to my destiny. The closer we got to the bottom of the steps, the more intense the smell of blood, piss and feces became. The rancid smell of death and fear lingered in the air.

  When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I was instructed to remove my shirt and boots. I did as I was told, even though my hands were shaking. I wasn’t going to show my weakness, or try not to, even though I was scared shitless.

  I was then manacled to the wall. I sat there and watched the torture of other prisoners, wondering when it would be my turn and what my fate would be. I wasn’t sure how long I had sat there, arms above my head, while I waited for my turn. When it did come, I had to be lifted off the floor because my legs were numb and couldn’t support my weight.

  I was strapped to a table where they performed different types of torture on me, including burning the bottoms of my feet. Time seemed to stop while I was being tortured. It took all of my will not to yell out in pain. I gritted my teeth and took the torture.

  The inquisitor brought over a mallet and looked down at me. His eyes told me that he hated to do his job to me. He never said a word, but he had always been the silent type. He took the mallet and swung it down hard onto my hand. I felt the bones shatter from the force of the mallet. Pain shot through my hand into my arm. He repeated the process on my other hand. After both hands were broken, he hit me methodically down my torso, breaking ribs and bruising my organs. I was then chained back to the wall where I could barely breathe or move, and pain was shooting through my entire body.

  It was the dead of night when footsteps brought me from my stupor. The inquisitor loomed over me. He pulled a stool to me and sat on it. He carefully held a wooden cup of water up for me to drink from. After giving me several sips, he spoke lowly to me. His voice was like a low grumble.

  “Tobias, I admire your strength. You need to hold on longer. If you can survive what the king has in store for you, then things will get better. Keep your mind with you and keep holding your head held high.” He lowered his voice so it was barely above a whisper. “There is interest in you. Just remember you are always being watched.”

  With that, he stood and walked away as if he had never spoken. I wasn’t sure how long I had been there, time seemed to stand still as soon as I had become a prisoner. I was almost relieved when I found out what the king had decided.

  Raynor stood before me, then he knelt down. He waited until I made eye contact with him. “You are sentenced to a public lashing. The king demands all the skin be peeled from your back before being released. I tried to talk him into a lesser punishment, but he wouldn’t hear it. The only thing we can be grateful for is he isn’t demanding your head on a platter.”

  He unchained me and, with the help of other guards, he dragged me across the room. I caught the inquisitor staring at me and he nodded so slightly, I wasn’t sure he even moved his head. The guards lifted me and carried me up the stairs, out into the bright rising sun.

  I squeezed my eyes shut in order to protect them from the light. I felt the leather straps being attached to my wrists to spread my arms wide, exposing the whole of my back. I opened my eyes to meet Raynor’s, while he tightened the straps on my wrists. The pity and sorrow in his eyes was overwhelming. He put a leather roll into my mouth for me to bite down on.

  He walked out of my eyesight. As I heard the whip sliding through the dirt, I knew it was going to hurt. I just hoped that Raynor wasn’t going to have to be the one to dispense the punishment. It would break his heart if he had to. I also aware that King Cornelius would know this, so Raynor would be forced to administer the sentence.

  As the whip whisked through the air and connected to my back, I saw the princess stop and turn my direction. She was being ushered out of the castle, I was sure, to go to her new husband. She looked me in the eyes and I watched a tear trace down her cheek. The whip danced across my back again, causing her to flinch and turn away.

  The flogging was nothing compared to the heartache of watching my love walk away, to go to the arms of another man. I let the pain consume me as the lashings continued. The burning of each strike made me want to scream out, but I wouldn’t give the king the satisfaction of my pain. I needed to hold onto something, even if it was what was left of my pride. I felt the blood running down my back, into my pants.

  As the pain continued and the whip hit my back, I could feel my skin slicing and slowly peeling off my back. Finally, the pain overwhelmed me and everything went black.

  Chapter 1

  Five years later

  I sat staring out into the woods unthinking, letting my mind wander. It was exactly five years to the day that I had been almost beaten to death. The only thing that saved me was the fact that Raynor was the one behind the whip. He announced after I had passed out, that I wasn’t going to survive and that I had had enough. For that, I would be ever grateful.

  I heard a rustle behind me. When I turned to look, I saw Raynor walking toward me. I didn’t see him often anymore, but the visits were pleasant enough. I always asked about Malina, he always tried to answer without actually answering.

  “Have you seen her?” I asked hoarsely.

  He shook his head. “No. She still hasn’t returned to the castle. I do know she is alive and well. King Cornelius exiled her from the castle. She is not allowed to return under any circumstances. Her sister does receive the occasional letter.”

  I nodded. It was probably better this way. I would have never been able to provide for a princess. She wouldn’t have been happy living the life of a commoner. I wasn’t high enough in station to afford her lifestyle.

  I leaned forward, the scars stretching and pulling on my back. I didn’t notice them the majority of the time, but this night was different. I was hyper aware of my surroundings and body. It was probably because it was the anniversary of my death and the beginning of my new life.

  Raynor was right about one thing. I didn’t survive the beating. My soul had died, along with my heart, as I
watched Malina walk away from me. I knew she had to, but it had killed me to know I would never see her again. Tobias had died five years ago and from his ashes, I was born.

  I was now a ghost. Those who spoke of me, never referred to me by my given name. Most didn’t know it. People were afraid to say my name out loud. It was whispered, revered. I now was referred as Reaper. I had also heard that I was known as the Angel of Death as well. It depended on what region you were in.

  “Tobias, I was told to fetch you. He has a job for you. I’m not sure what it is, but I know that you will be gone for a while.”

  It didn’t surprise me; in fact, I was surprised that I hadn’t been called for another job in as long as I had. I wasn’t used to hanging around one area for long. Since I was well enough and trained enough, I was constantly travelling to do different assignments that I was assigned. My new career paid well and I didn’t have much use for money, so I was able to stash the majority of it away.

  I stood and followed Raynor through the woods.

  I sat in a pew, waiting for Declan to speak with me and give me an assignment. I heard a door to the left open, and glanced that way to see him lumbering into the room. Flashes went through my mind of what I had to endure under his hand. I knew he had to do his job, but the pain occasionally lingered in my joints and fear flittered through me.

  He sat next to me and handed me a flask. I took a drink, savoring the warming liquid of the alcohol as it slid down my throat. I handed him back the flask and stared straight ahead. There was a statue of Mother Mary at the front of the room. I studied her face while waiting for Declan to give me details.

  “Hey Tobias, how are you doing?” Declan asked softly. He knew what I had to deal with since that fateful day.

  I shrugged. “I’m here. What do you have for me?”