Delphi Complete Works of William Dean Howells

by William Dean Howells

  Bartlett, with unheeding petulance.— “The whole thing’s too infernally brown! I beg your pardon, Cummings: what were you saying? Go on! I like your prattle about pictures; I do, indeed. I like to see how far you art-cultured fellows can miss all that was in a poor devil’s mind when he was at work. But I’d rather you’d sentimentalise my pictures than moralise them. If there’s anything that makes me quite limp, it’s to have an allegory discovered in one of my poor stupid old landscapes. But The First Grey Hair isn’t bad, really. And a good, senseless, sloppy name like that often sells a picture.”

  Cummings.— “You’re brutal, Bartlett. I don’t believe your pictures would own you, if they had their way about it.”

  Bartlett.— “And I wouldn’t own them if I had mine. I’ve got about forty that I wish somebody else owned — and I had the money for them; but we seem inseparable. Glad you’re going to-morrow? You are a good fellow, Cummings, and I am a brute. Come, I’ll make a great concession to friendship: it struck me, too, while I was at work on that elm, that it was something like — an old girl!” Bartlett laughs, and catching his friend by either shoulder, twists him about in his strong clutch, while he looks him merrily in the face. “I’m not a poet, old fellow; and sometimes I think I ought to have been a painter and glazier instead of a mere painter. I believe it would have paid better.”

  Cummings.— “Bartlett, I hate to have you talk in that way.”

  Bartlett.— “Oh, I know it’s a stale kind.”

  Cummings.— “It’s worse than stale. It’s destructive. A man can soon talk himself out of heart with his better self. You can end by really being as sordid-minded and hopeless and low-purposed as you pretend to be. It’s insanity.”

  Bartlett.— “Good! I’ve had my little knock on the head, you know. I don’t deny being cracked. But I’ve a method in my madness.”

  Cummings.— “They all have. But it’s a very poor method; and I don’t believe you could say just what yours is. You think because a girl on whom you set your fancy — it’s nonsense to pretend it was your heart — found out she didn’t like you as well as she thought, and honestly told you so in good time, that your wisest course is to take up that rôle of misanthrope which begins with yourself and leaves people to imagine how low an opinion you have of the rest of mankind.”

  Bartlett.— “My dear fellow, you know I always speak well of that young lady. I’ve invariably told you that she behaved in the handsomest manner. She even expressed the wish — I distinctly remember being struck by the novelty of the wish at the time — that we should remain friends. You misconceive” —

  Cummings.— “How many poor girls have been jilted who don’t go about doing misanthropy, but mope at home and sorrow and sicken over their wrong in secret, — a wrong that attacks not merely their pride, but their life itself. Take the case I was telling you of: did you ever hear of anything more atrocious? And do you compare this little sting to your vanity with a death-blow like that?”

  Bartlett.— “It’s quite impossible to compute the number of jilted girls who take the line you describe. But if it were within the scope of arithmetic, I don’t know that a billion of jilted girls would comfort me or reform me. I never could regard myself in that abstract way — a mere unit on one side or other of the balance. My little personal snub goes on rankling beyond the reach of statistical consolation. But even if there were any edification in the case of the young lady in Paris, she’s too far off to be an example for me. Take some jilted girl nearer home, Cummings, if you want me to go round sickening and sorrowing in secret. I don’t believe you can find any. Women are much tougher about the pericardium than we give them credit for, my dear fellow, — much. I don’t see why it should hurt a woman more than a man to be jilted. We shall never truly philosophise this important matter till we regard women with something of the fine penetration and impartiality with which they regard each other. Look at the stabs they give and take — they would kill men! And the graceful ferocity with which they despatch any of their number who happens to be down is quite unexampled in natural history. How much do you suppose her lady friends have left of that poor girl whose case wrings your foolish bosom all the way from Paris? I don’t believe so much as a boot-button. Why, even your correspondent — a very lively woman, by the way — can’t conceal under all her indignation her little satisfaction that so proud a girl as Miss What’s-her-name should have been jilted. Of course, she doesn’t say it.”

  Cummings hotly.— “No, she doesn’t say it, and it’s not to your credit to imagine it.”

  Bartlett, with a laugh.— “Oh, I don’t ask any praise for the discovery. You deserve praise for not making it. It does honour to your good heart. Well, don’t be vexed, old fellow. And in trying to improve me on this little point — a weak point, I’ll allow, with me — do me the justice to remember that I didn’t flaunt my misanthropy, as you call it, in your face; I didn’t force my confidence upon you.”

  Cummings, with compunction.— “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Bartlett.”

  Bartlett.— “Well, you haven’t. It’s all right.”

  Cummings, with anxious concern.— “I wish I could think so.”

  Bartlett, dryly.— “You have my leave — my request, in fact.” He takes a turn about the room, thrusting his fingers through the hair on his forehead, and letting it fall in a heavy tangle, and then pulling at either side of his parted beard. In facing away from one of the sofas at the end of the room, he looks back over his shoulder at it, falters, wheels about, and picks up from it a lady’s shawl and hat. “Hallo!” He lets the shawl fall again into picturesque folds on the sofa. “This is the spoil of no local beauty, Cummings. Look here; I don’t understand this. There has been an arrival.”

  Cummings, joining his friend in contemplation of the hat and shawl: “Yes; it’s an arrival beyond all question. Those are a lady’s things. I should think that was a Paris hat.” They remain looking at the things some moments in silence.

  Bartlett.— “How should a Paris hat get here? I know the landlord wasn’t expecting it. But it can’t be going to stay; it’s here through some caprice. It may be a transient of quality, but it’s a transient. I suppose we shall see the young woman belonging to it at dinner.” He sets the hat on his fist, and holds it at arm’s length from him. “What a curious thing it is about clothes” —

  Cummings.— “Don’t, Bartlett, don’t!”

  Bartlett.— “Why?”

  Cummings.— “I don’t know. It makes me feel as if you were offering an indignity to the young lady herself.”

  Bartlett.— “You express my idea exactly. This frippery has not only the girl’s personality but her very spirit in it. This hat looks like her; you can infer the whole woman from it, body and soul. It has a conscious air, and so has the shawl, as if they had been eavesdropping and had understood everything we were saying. They know all about my heart-break, and so will she as soon as she puts them on; she will be interested in me. The hat’s in good taste, isn’t it?”

  Cummings, with sensitive reverence for the millinery which his friend handles so daringly.— “Exquisite it seems to me; but I don’t know about such things.”

  Bartlett.— “Neither do I; but I feel about them. Besides, a painter and glazier sees some things that are hidden from even a progressive minister. Let us interpret the lovely being from her hat. This knot of pale-blue flowers betrays her a blonde; this lace, this mass of silky, fluffy, cob-webby what-do-you-call-it, and this delicate straw fabric show that she is slight; a stout woman would kill it, or die in the attempt. And I fancy — here pure inspiration comes to my aid — that she is tallish. I’m afraid of her! No — wait! The shawl has something to say.” He takes it up and catches it across his arm, where he scans it critically. “I don’t know that I understand the shawl, exactly. It proves her of a good height, — a short woman wouldn’t, or had better not, wear a shawl, — but this black colour: should you think it was mourning? Have we a lovely young widow
among us?”

  Cummings.— “I don’t see how it could go with the hat, if it were.”

  Bartlett.— “True; the hat is very pensive in tone, but it isn’t mourning. This shawl’s very light, it’s very warm; I construct from it a pretty invalid.” He lets the shawl slip down his arm to his hand, and flings it back upon the sofa. “We return from the young lady’s heart to her brain — where she carries her sentiments. She has a nice taste in perfumes, Cummings: faintest violet; that goes with the blue. Of what religion is a young lady who uses violet, my reverend friend?”

  Cummings.— “Bartlett, you’re outrageous. Put down that hat!”

  Bartlett.— “No, seriously. What is her little æsthetic specialty? Does she sketch? Does she scribble? Tell me, thou wicked hat, does she flirt? Come; out with the vows that you have heard poured into the shelly ear under this knot of pale-blue flowers! Where be her gibes now, her gambols, her flashes of merriment? Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that. Dost thou think, Horatio Cummings, Cleopatra looked o’ this fashion? And smelt so?” — he presses the knot of artificial flowers to his moustache— “Pah!” He tosses the hat on the sofa and walks away.

  Cummings.— “Bartlett, this is atrocious. I protest” —

  Bartlett.— “Well, give me up, I tell you.” He returns, and takes his friend by the shoulders, as before, and laughs. “I’m not worth your refined pains. I might be good, at a pinch, but I never could be truly lady-like.”

  Cummings.— “You like to speak an infinite deal of nothing, don’t you?”

  Bartlett.— “It’s the only thing that makes conversation.” As he releases Cummings, and turns away from him, in the doorway he confronts an elderly gentleman, whose white hair and white moustache give distinction to his handsome florid face. There is something military in his port, as he stands immoveably erect upon the threshold, his left hand lodged in the breast of his frock-coat, and his head carried with an officer-like air of command. His visage grows momently redder and redder, and his blue eyes blaze upon Bartlett with a fascinated glare that briefly preludes the burst of fury with which he advances toward him.

  II.

  General Wyatt, Bartlett, and Cummings.

  General Wyatt.— “You infernal scoundrel! What are you doing here?” He raises his stick at Bartlett, who remains motionlessly frowning in wrathful bewilderment, his strong hand knotting itself into a fist where it hangs at his side, while Cummings starts toward them in dismay, with his hand raised to interpose. “Didn’t I tell you if I ever set eyes on you again, you villain — didn’t I warn you that if you ever crossed my path, you” — He stops with a violent self-arrest, and lets his stick drop as he throws up both his hands in amaze. “Good Heavens! It’s a mistake! I beg your pardon, sir; I do, indeed.” He lets fall his hands, and stands staring into Bartlett’s face with his illusion apparently not fully dispelled. “A mistake, sir, a mistake. I was misled, sir, by the most prodigious resemblance” — At the sound of voices in the corridor without, he turns from Bartlett, and starts back toward the door.

  A Voice, very sweet and weak, without.— “I left them in here, I think.”

  Another Voice.— “You must sit down, Constance, and let me look.”

  The First Voice.— “Oh, they’ll be here.”

  General Wyatt., in a loud and anxious tone.— “Margaret, Margaret! Don’t bring Constance in here! Go away!” At the moment he reaches the door by which he came in, two ladies in black enter the parlour by the other door, the younger leaning weakly on the arm of the elder, and with a languidly drooping head letting her eyes rove listlessly about over the chairs and sofas. With an abrupt start at sight of Bartlett, who has mechanically turned toward them, the elder lady arrests their movement.

  III.

  Mrs. Wyatt, Constance, and the others.

  Mrs. Wyatt.— “Oh, in mercy’s name!” The young lady wearily lifts her eyes; they fall upon Bartlett’s face, and a low cry parts her lips as she approaches a pace or two nearer, releasing her arm from her mother’s.

  Constance.— “Ah!” She stops; her thin hands waver before her face, as if to clear or to obstruct her vision, and all at once she sinks forward into a little slender heap upon the floor, almost at Bartlett’s feet. He instantly drops upon his knees beside her, and stoops over her to lift her up.

  Mrs. Wyatt.— “Don’t touch her, you cruel wretch! Your touch is poison; the sight of you is murder!” Kneeling on the other side of her daughter, she sets both her hands against his breast and pushes him back.

  General Wyatt.— “Margaret, stop! Look! Look at him again! It isn’t he!”

  Mrs. Wyatt.— “Not he? Don’t tell me! What?” She clutches Bartlett’s arm, and scans his face with dilating eyes. “Oh! it isn’t, it isn’t! But go away, — go away, all the same! You may be an innocent man, but she would perish in your presence. Keep your hands from her, sir! If your wicked heart is not yet satisfied with your wicked work — Excuse me; I don’t know what I’m saying! But if you have any pity in your faithless soul — I — oh, speak for me, James, and send him — implore him to go away!” She bows her face over her daughter’s pale visage, and sobs.

  General Wyatt.— “Sir, you must pardon us, and have the great goodness to be patient. You have a right to feel yourself aggrieved by what has happened, but no wrong is meant, — no offence. You must be so kind as to go away. I will make you all the needed apologies and explanations.” He stoops over his daughter, as Bartlett, in a sort of daze, rises from his knees and retires a few steps. “I beg your pardon, sir,” — addressing himself to Cummings,— “will you help me a moment?” Cummings, with delicate sympathy and tenderness, lifts the arms of the insensible girl to her father’s neck, and assists the General to rise with his burden. “Thanks! She’s hardly heavier, poor child, than a ghost.” The tears stand in his eyes, as he gathers her closer to him and kisses her wan cheek. “Sir,” — as he moves away he speaks to Bartlett,— “do me the favour to remain here till I can return to offer you reparation.” He makes a stately effort to bow to Bartlett in leaving the room, while his wife, who follows with the young lady’s hat and shawl, looks back at the painter with open abhorrence.

  IV.

  Bartlett and Cummings.

  Bartlett, turning to his friend from the retreating group on which he has kept his eyes steadfastly fixed.— “Where are their keepers?” He is pale with suppressed rage.

  Cummings.— “Their keepers?”

  Bartlett, savagely.— “Yes! Have they escaped from them, or is it one of the new ideas to let lunatics go about the country alone? If that old fool hadn’t dropped his stick, I’d have knocked him over that table in another instant. And that other old maniac, — what did she mean by pushing me back in that way? How do you account for this thing, Cummings? What do you make of it?”

  Cummings.— “I don’t know, upon my word. There seems to be some mystery, — some painful mystery. But the gentleman will be back directly, I suppose, and” —

  Bartlett, crushing his hat over his eyes.— “I’ll leave you to receive him and his mystery. I’ve had enough of both.” He moves toward the door.

  Cummings, detaining him.— “Bartlett, you’re surely not going away?”

  Bartlett.— “Yes, I am!”

  Cummings.— “But he’ll be here in a moment. He said he would come back and satisfy the claim which you certainly have to an explanation.”

  Bartlett, furiously.— “Claim? I’ve a perfect Alabama Claim to an explanation. He can’t satisfy it; he shall not try. It’s a little too much to expect me to be satisfied with anything he can say after what’s passed. Get out of the way, Cummings, or I’ll put you on top of the piano.”

  Cummings.— “You may throw me out of the window, if you like, but not till I’ve done my best to keep you here. It’s a shame, it’s a crime to go away. You talk about lunatics: you’re a raving madman, yourself. Have
one glimmer of reason, do; and see what you’re about. It’s a mistake; it’s a misunderstanding. It’s his right, it’s your duty, to have it cleared up. Come, you’ve a conscience, Bartlett, and a clean one. Don’t give way to your abominable temper. What? You won’t stay? Bartlett, I blush for you!”

  Bartlett.— “Blush unseen, then!” He thrusts Cummings aside and pushes furiously from the room. Cummings looks into the corridor after him, and then returns, panting, to the piano, and mechanically rearranges the things at his feet; he walks nervously away, and takes some turns up and down the room, looking utterly bewildered, and apparently uncertain whether to go or stay. But he has decided upon the only course really open to him by sinking down into one of the armchairs, when General Wyatt appears at the threshold of the door on the right of the piano. Cummings rises and comes forward in great embarrassment to meet him.

  V.

  Cummings and General Wyatt.

  General Wyatt, with a look of surprise at not seeing Bartlett.— “The other gentleman” —

  Cummings.— “My friend has gone out. I hope he will return soon. He has — I hardly know what to say to you, sir. He has done himself great injustice; but it was natural that under the circumstances” —

  General Wyatt, with hurt pride.— “Perfectly. I should have lost my temper, too; but I think I should have waited at the request — the prayer of an older man. I don’t mind his temper; the other villain had no temper. Sir, am I right in addressing you as the Rev. Arthur Cummings?”

  Cummings.— “My name is Arthur Cummings. I am a minister.”

  General Wyatt.— “I thought I was not mistaken this time. I heard you preach last Sunday in Boston; and I know your cousin, Major Cummings of the 34th Artillery. I am General Wyatt.”

  Cummings, with a start of painful surprise and sympathy.— “General Wyatt?”

  General Wyatt, keenly.— “Your cousin has mentioned me to you?”