by Diane Adams
Jared chewed his bottom lip before grabbing a notepad and pen off the table beside him. "Taking that job behind Tolbert was a risk, but we will not be eating the extra expense. Stevie, call Kyle. Tell him he's got to find a drainage expert or he's going to have a swimming pool instead of a house. Make it clear it was not a part of our estimate, nor is the cost of fixing the problem. I'm willing to do the work, but the drainage repairs will be a separate contract." He pulled the page off the notepad and held it out to her.
Dropping her purse onto the couch next to Clark, Stevie accepted the paper. "He's not going to be happy."
"Neither am I. It never makes me happy when someone tries to take advantage of me because I'm young."
"Gotcha boss, I'm on it." Stevie grinned at Jared and waved at Clark on her way towards the office.
"Stevie, wait." Clark scrambled to his feet.
Stevie paused, looking back.
Clark blushed fire engine red. "You want to go out sometime? I mean we could go bowling or something."
Stevie's eyes crinkled with amusement and she barely kept from laughing. Bowling… only Clark. It was a step, a teeny baby step but it made her warm inside. "Sounds fun."
"Maybe Alex and Jared can come. Friday all right?" He looked every bit the teenager he still was, very unlike the confident young man she'd seen whenever she visited the worksites.
"If Alex and Jared want to spend part of their last weekend bowling with us, that's fine with me." She shook her head. "I'll see you tomorrow night. You can pick me up at seven."
On her way to do the task Jared had given her, she heard Jared's muffled voice. His lowered tone clearly marking his words for Clark.
"Bowling? Seriously, dude?"
Clark retorted. "Shut up. No one asked you." He paused, then blurted. "You guys'll come, right?"
He sounded slightly panicked and Stevie was glad the sound of Jared's laughter disguised her own.
One Step Forward
The bowling alley was crowded and noisy, everything Clark had hoped. He wanted time with Stevie, but seriously talking to her seemed to be one step beyond what either could manage. He didn't know why. He'd talked to Stevie his whole life, or close to it, as easily as he talked to Alex or Jared.
Since what happened with her mother, he couldn't find the words. He didn't know if it was him or her but it sucked. Clark watched his friends while he waited in line to pay. Stevie talked and laughed with Alex. Jared stood slightly behind Alex, but that didn't stop them from holding hands. Jared wasn't really listening to them, obviously thinking about something else, he smiled fondly at Alex and continued to watch the crowd.
That's what Clark wanted. He wanted to stand beside Stevie, their fingers entwined, letting her feel his love but not demanding every second of her attention. He wanted her to feel safe and loved no matter where they were or what they were doing. That's how Jared made Alex feel—safe, sure and confident. Alex probably made Jared feel the same, but since Jared never yammered on and on about his feelings the way Alex did, Clark could only speculate. Jared leaned and whispered something to Alex. Grinning, Alex followed the other man's gaze.
"Dad!" Alex yelled over the noise, waving to get his dad's attention.
Clark felt a keen sense of satisfaction when he saw Frank wave back and head towards Alex. Frank's neon green bowling shirt with an embroidered black bowling pin complete with his name in red on the front made him impossible to miss. Clark paid for their games, and joined the others. Bowling bags and shoes sat on the floor at their feet. They'd all passed 'casual' bowler a while back, though they'd avoided leagues thus far and missed out on some of the perks, such as neon green shirts.
Alex hugged his dad and when he finally let go Frank shook hands with Jared. "I'm surprised to see you guys here tonight. Isn't it about time for Alex to leave for school?"
Clark suppressed a chuckle at Alex's rolled eyes.
Jared grinned. "Yes sir, I take him to the plane Sunday. Everything's ready for him to go."
"Everything but him," Alex grumbled.
Jared leaned and whispered something in his ear, a strong hand coming to rest on the small of Alex's back. Alex met Jared's eyes and the rebellion melted from his expression.
He turned back to his dad. "Scholarship and all, saving us all millions." He laughed. "I'd rather just go to school here, but some people have MIT on the brain."
Frank shot Jared a grateful look. "Some people are right."
"Yeah, whatever," Alex sighed and Clark shared an amused glance with Stevie.
Frank turned to Stevie. "It's good to see you, young lady." He looked her over. "Especially looking so well. Are you going back to school this year?"
Stevie beamed. "I am. I got a special hardship loan so even though I had to register pretty late I'm going to be able to go."
"Scholarship," Clark muttered beside her.
Stevie glared. "Loan."
Clark turned his attention to Frank. "Since JD Construction is paying for my education as part of my training, Dad said he might as well use my college fund for someone who needs it. It's a onetime My Son is an Idiot Scholarship. He gave it to Stevie, who is not an idiot."
"I doubt your father thinks you're an idiot," Frank protested.
Clark shrugged. "I guess not, it's hard to tell. Anyhow, it's a scholarship, not a loan. She's just pig headed." Clark found himself looking at Stevie's back.
"I'm doing very well, Mr Ross. Thank you for asking." She flipped her hair over her shoulder with a toss of her head. "I've got a good job. I'm going back to school. And have the best friends ever."
Frank looked over her head at Clark. "It seems you have a fine young man as well."
Clark wasn't sure if he or Stevie blushed darker.
"Cut it out, Dad." Alex laughed. "Clark and Stevie are just friends. Will you tell mom I'll come by Sunday to say goodbye before Jared takes me to the airport?"
Frank's expression sobered and he studied Alex closely. Clark was amazed how natural Alex sounded.
Seemingly satisfied by what he saw in Alex's face, Frank nodded. "I'll do that. Well, I have to get back to practice. We might take the championship this year! Have fun, kids." He gave Alex a last hard, quick hug and headed back to the flock of neon-clad bowlers waiting for him.
Stevie watched him walk off. "God, your dad is so awesome." A faint hint of jealousy colored her words.
"Good thing, considering my mom." Alex sounded bitter and Jared wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a quick hug.
Clark winced, sympathy for his friend welling up. Alex put on a good front for his dad but Clark knew all too well how hurt Alex felt over his mother's attitude. His heart ached a little when Alex smiled bravely at Jared and leaned to retrieve his things from the floor.
"So which alley to do we get?" Alex asked, turning towards Clark.
Knowing how Alex felt about pity, Clark disguised his jumbled emotions, nodding towards the end of the building to the alley closest to the snack bar. "Good 'ol number fifteen." They headed in that direction, laughing and talking as they made their way through the crowd.
Clark lagged back a little watching how careful Stevie was not to touch anyone she had to brush past. The tension in the line of her neck and shoulders told the story. Frowning, he hurried to catch up and inserted himself as a buffer between her and the most crowded side of the walkway. Clark hadn't realized Stevie had a problem with too many people packed together and wondered what else he didn't know. He wished she'd open up to him, not because he wanted details about her ordeal, but so he would know how to help.
* * * *
"Okay, wow, they are seriously kicking our ass." Stevie laughed, dropping into the plastic chair beside Clark's.
He frowned, making her giggle. "They shouldn't be allowed to team up."
"We'd never get them to play against each other," Stevie said, watching their rivals with narrowed eyes. "How'd they get so good?"
"Bowling is pretty much the only thing Jared would do
with Alex for long time. They practically lived in this place. I thought it'd go out of business when Jared finally agreed to be a real boyfriend." The pair snickered together.
"I'm sorry I missed so much of that. Alex's mother had gone off the deep end about the same time I got back. Geez, Alex and I should enter our mothers in the Mother of the Year contest. I wonder how they'd do." Realizing how bitter she sounded, Stevie shut her mouth tight. Visiting the misery of what her mother had done to her on the people she loved wasn't something she planned on doing.
Clark looked at her, a weird expression on his face. "At least Alex's mom didn't touch him." He brushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face, his touch electric on the skin of her forehead.
"Yeah, mine's crazy. His is just mean." Stevie tried to sound more light-hearted but wasn't sure she succeeded. "I'm sorry. A lot of people have things worse than me. I shouldn't be such a whiner."
Clark cocked his head, his brow furrowed. His hand covered hers where it lay fisted on her lap. "You aren't a whiner. You're one of the bravest people I know."
Stevie didn't pull her hand away. In fact, she relaxed the tight ball, letting his strong fingers slide between hers. Not really holding hands, but perhaps the most intimate moment they'd shared. In her mind, Stevie could hear her mother's voice screaming and shrieking, calling her a slut. Hitting her, tearing her clothes until she was half-naked, until she was barely conscious and still her mom didn't stop.
Dirty. Filthy. Whore.
Stevie tore her eyes away from Clark's before he read what she thought. Words from the mouth of her own mother, words that had wounded Stevie on the inside, leaving her bruised and bleeding emotionally. Scarred. Damaged. Not all the scars were emotional.
Stevie pulled her hand from under Clark's and tugged at her shirt, smoothing it over her belly. She felt suddenly exposed, as if he would see through the inadequate covering to just how ugly she'd become. Stevie forced her mind away from her worries, determined she would not freak out the very first time she and Clark did something together even if it was just a double date at the bowling alley.
"Where'd Jared and Alex go?" She realized they were alone at the lane.
Clark pointed at the busy snack counter. Alex must have been watching for them to notice because he made a gesture she couldn't interpret. Clark flashed back a peace sign at him, twice.
Her curiosity got the better of her. "What was that about?"
Clark grinned and got up to get his ball. "Two fries, two cokes. Bowling alley fries are the best." He turned and faced the lane. "It's my turn. Maybe we can cheat in a few points while they're gone."
"You're going to try to cheat playing against Jared?" Stevie couldn't help sounding awed. Jared made her conscience work triple time, trying to keep up with the stark honesty that came so naturally to him. She loved him, but he could be exhausting. She wasn't sure the word cheat was even in his mental dictionary.
Clark shrugged. "Sure, why not?" But when his throw went awry and he only knocked over three pins, he wrote down the exact count. When Alex and Jared arrived, laden with hot fresh fries and icy cold soda, Clark helped divvy up the goods while Alex studied the score sheet.
"You took your turns. Did you cheat?" He gave Clark an assessing look.
"Of course he didn't cheat." With firm hands on his shoulders, Jared turned Alex towards the lane. "Your turn."
"Exhausting," Stevie muttered.
Clark reached for a fry. "I know, right?"
"He's so freaking good," she whispered. "Shouldn't we hate him?"
Clark looked at her like she'd grown two heads, even joking about hating Jared apparently foreign to him. "Nope. He's human." Clark tilted his head in Jared's direction Just as Jared's hand slid up under the hem of Alex's t-shirt, not far but his fingertips undoubtedly brushed the bare skin of Alex's side.
"Crap," Clark muttered when the look on Alex's face shifted from carefree laughter to raw need.
Alex and Jared stood too close, their eyes locked in a way that couldn't be interpreted by a casual observer. Clark was anything but casual. "Game's over." He sounded amused. Stevie glanced between Alex and Jared and Clark.
"What?" She was baffled. "They just bought the food."
"Yeah, I know." Clark jerked his head towards the couple. "Jared's gonna touch his face." He ate a couple more fries.
Jared lifted his hand and his fingers brushed Alex's jaw, his expression shifting to mirror Alex's.
Clark shook his head. "Told you. Game over."
Jared and Alex turned, fumbling bowling balls into their bags.
Jared lifted his eyes to Clark. "We have to go."
They didn't even change their shoes. Ball bags crammed with tennis shoes and bowling balls the pair headed for the exit, hands locked between them. Clark and Stevie watched them leave.
"Watching them is like seeing love come alive," Stevie breathed.
Clark burst out laughing. "More like getting an eyeful of free gay porn." He gathered up all the deserted fry baskets. "Waste is a sin."
"You really don't see it?" To her, watching Alex and Jared together was like seeing the deepest secret wishes of her heart reflected in reality.
"They love each other. It's cool. I really don't get the gay thing, to tell you the truth."
Stevie wondered if blunt honesty was catching, Clark didn't seem hesitant to say things someone else might keep to themselves. "You don't get it? But you and Alex and Jared…"
He glanced back where his friends had gone though the exit. They were no doubt in the car by that time.
"They won't make it home. Ten to one someone gets a blow job in the car."
Stevie's face burned. "Clark!" she protested.
He relented. "They're my friends and they're in love. I don't have a problem with that, why should I? They're happy, that's all that matters. I just don't get the attraction. I mean I have a dick, what do I want with another one? And Jared's hands? His hands are worse than mine."
Stevie's gaze followed Clark's to the hand he held out between them. His work in construction had done more than just build his muscles; his hands were hard, callused and rough. The hands of a man.
"Why would Alex want that? I just don't get it."
Stevie laid her much smaller hand in Clark's feeling the brush of rough skin against her palm, the strength in the fingers under hers.
She met his eyes. "I do."
Two Steps Back
"I don't think this is a good idea." Clark glanced at Stevie, hoping his incessant complaining would make an impression her and she'd let him turn around and take her home.
No such luck.
"Clark, you didn't throw such a fit when Alex went to visit his mother." Her tone was gentle.
The last month and a half things had gone well between them. Clark hoped their friendship was moving in the right direction and even contemplated stealing a kiss sometime soon, but Stevie had interrupted the smooth flow of their lives with her unexpected demand to visit her mother.
"Alex's mother didn't almost kill him. Besides, Alex is Jared's problem." Clark groaned, hearing his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.
"Oh, and I'm your problem?" Stevie's tone cooled about twenty degrees.
"No, that's not what I meant. I just don't understand the point of visiting someone who did something so horrible to you. Holy cow."
"Holy cow?" Stevie giggled and Clark's face flamed.
"Damn Jared," He sighed. "Forget the cow. I've got a bad feeling about this, Stevie. Please can't we just go shop for a new purse or something?"
"Something's wrong with my purse?" Pursing her lips Stevie looked at the heap of brown leather at her feet.
Clark had no idea why she needed a bag big enough to put her head in, but she sounded offended. Apparently he'd said the wrong thing again.
"I don't know. I thought girls liked to shop for purses and stuff." Clark broke out into a sweat and felt his underarms growing damp. Maybe it'd be better if he just shut up
and drove. She wasn't going to give up the stupid idea. They'd go see her crazy mother and then he'd take her home for Jared to put back together, since it seemed his own ability to communicate was severely impaired.
"Jared said she's been calm and usually they have a good visit." Stevie stared out the side window.
Clark couldn't read her tone. He bit back the comment that the past suggested her mother's weakness trying to please men was one of her many issues.
"I just need to do this. And for the record, that thing you said about shopping for purses is very sexist."
"Oh, so girls don't like shopping for purses then?"
"I didn't say that."
Clark shut up for a while and wondered if stuff like this ever happened to Alex. Maybe there was something to be said for having a boyfriend, at least he might have a clue to what the hell was going on in the guy's head.
"When we get there, will you at least let me go in and check what kind of day she's having?" Clark asked. The cool British voice of his GPS indicated an approaching turn and Clark slowed the truck. Stevie nodded. "And if they say it's not a good day for company, we'll leave." She hesitated, but nodded again. They were getting closer and there was something different in the set of her shoulders. "Stevie, baby, are you sure about this? I can take you home."
"No. I want to. I have to."
"Okay then." If it was something she had to do, then Clark would see her through it and ignore the sick feeling in his stomach that told him bringing Stevie to this place was the worst thing he'd ever done.
Jared did say Stevie's mother was usually fine. Maybe Clark's worry was rooted in his own feelings. Clark hated Alex's and Stevie's mothers with unrelenting passion. The women had hurt the people dearest to him, and no matter what Jared recommended, or how Clark worked at it, forgiveness just didn't happen.
Clark worried he'd say something that would set Stevie's mom off and make things worse. He struggled with understanding mental illness. Stevie's mother being out of control of her actions had sent her into a hospital. She never received the punishment Clark felt she deserved for harming Stevie.
