Clark's Story

by Diane Adams

  Clark nodded. "Waiting's hard. I'm not good at it. I'm a lot better at fixing things." Clark's fingers eased on the frets, moving to form a chord and he strummed it gently. "But I guess I won't be going to New York."

  Feeling little else but the pain of hopeless love, Justin set his guitar aside. He'd accomplished what he came for, nothing else mattered. "Okay then, if things don't work out I'll have a job for you. I'm giving Jared my six month notice Monday."

  Watching his fingers, Clark nodded without looking up. "Get the rest of the beer."

  Justin followed instructions and a few minutes later set the box with the remaining eight cans of beer in the middle of the table. He tossed one to Clark and popped the top on his as he took his seat. Clark glanced over at him but Justin didn't meet his eyes.

  "You don't have to leave. It doesn't bother me." Clark took a few swallows and set the beer aside, edging forward on his chair, settling the guitar. He tweaked the tuning a little.

  "Yeah, 'cause you are the weirdest straight guy ever. Most guys, even if they are okay with the gay, aren't comfortable around it. You really just don't give a damn. Is that all Alex's influence?"

  Clark looked thoughtful. "Naw, I don't think so. I have no idea why anyone even cares. So you sleep with guys, and you think I'm hot. Girls I'm not interested in hit on me all the time, at least you guys take no for an answer." Clark cocked his head, a mischievous light gleaming in his eyes. "Or maybe it's more accurate to say you know when to back off for a while."

  Justin's heart eased a little and he laughed at Clark's teasing. He'd chased Clark's straight ass with determination before his feelings got all tangled up in it, not so much after that.

  Justin tuned his guitar. "Don't get the prize if you give up too easy." Justin bit his lip, studying his fingers as they moved on the strings. "Clark, you're sure you don't..." He didn't need to finish.

  "I'm sure, Justin."

  Nodding, Justin accepted Clark's quiet words and let the subject drop. He began to play. The melancholy sound of the music matched his mood. After a few notes Clark picked up the song and they played the sad melody together. Justin knew the turn his emotions had taken for Clark would cost more than just his broken heart, and the impending loss of their easy friendship was bitter.

  Hours later and the worse for having finished off the entire twelve-pack, and three bags of chips, Justin caught himself eyeing the width of Clark's shoulders and the nimble way his fingers moved on the strings. His inebriated brain supplied him with an image of those fingers on Justin's bare skin and he knew the time had come to call it a night.

  Standing up and stretching the kinks out of his back, the guitar neck clasped in one hand, Justin looked down. "Time to head out. I'll miss last call, and I want to get laid tonight."

  Clark's expression turned indecipherable, but he set his guitar aside without protest. "Where are you going?"

  Justin settled his guitar into its case, fastening the clasps securely. "Just down the street to BJ's. I'll walk. Who knows, maybe one of your neighbors is gay." Justin winked but found himself unable to keep the heaviness of his heart out of his words.

  He wouldn't be back. He thought Clark knew it.

  Clark walked him to the door and opened it. Justin met Clark's eyes in silence and without warning found himself wrapped in a firm hug. Clark's body hard against his, arms tight around him. It felt better than anything Justin ever imagined. His heart skipped about fifty beats. Clark's strong hand wrapped around the back of Justin's neck and he brought their foreheads together. A gesture Justin had seen him share with Alex more than once. One he'd envied, and experiencing it as a part of their goodbye hurt, but he didn't move away.

  "I'd say if it weren't for Stevie… but Justin, I'm not gay. If it wasn't Stevie, there'd be another girl. I'm not the guy for you, but I know he's out there. If it's time for me to stop trying so hard and learn to wait, maybe it's time for you to stop waiting and try a little harder."

  Clark let him go and they stepped apart, eyes locked.

  Justin nodded. "Maybe." To his surprise he meant it.

  His friendship and resulting devotion to Clark had proven to Justin he had it in him to have more than just a passing fling.

  "Let me know how it turns out with Stevie." Justin gave Clark a crooked grin. "I'm in the office pool. My money is on married in six months. Make me rich."

  Clark laughed. "Sorry, dude, as you pointed out, that's up to her. I guess if you lose it's all your fault." Clark sobered, his eyes searching Justin's face.

  Justin wondered what Clark saw there. He wouldn't take a guy's feelings lightly, but Justin still felt exposed under his gaze. The words 'we can still be friends' hung between them. If Clark said them, Justin didn't know whether the embarrassment or heartache would be worse. Thankfully, Clark left the sentiment unsaid.

  A small smile turned up one corner of Clark's mouth. "See you at work Monday?"

  Justin gave a crooked half grin in return. "You know it, see you there." Justin raised his hand in a brief gesture of farewell and moved out the door and down the hall, not turning even when he heard the soft final click behind him.

  * * * *

  Clark turned away from the door, half expecting to hear Justin's knock announcing he wanted one more chance. It never came and Clark went around picking up cans and empty chip bags, his heart torn between relief and a sense of loss. He couldn't give Justin what he hoped for, but Clark would miss his friend.

  Stevie.

  Clark sat on the arm of the chair, his hands full of trash. He didn't know why he hadn't seen what Justin pointed out so simply. Even Jared and Alex had failed to connect those dots. Maybe it took someone outside the situation to see an answer. Clark didn't know, but he felt a huge weight lifted from his shoulders. He realized he didn't have to fix anything. What lay ahead for him and Stevie wouldn't be easy, but he found hope again for the first time in weeks.

  The phone rang as he went to throw the trash in the garbage and the beer cans into the recycle bin. He felt a little lightheaded from all the alcohol. He ran a glass of water and let the machine pick up.

  "Clark, Jared. I don't know what's going on with you two, but Alex is cooking dinner on Thanksgiving. If you aren't here I'm going to kick your ass—personally. Have a good night."

  Clark looked at his answering machine, head cocked. That had to be the worst invitation to do something he'd ever had. Still, Thanksgiving and Alex cooking. Clark wondered if those two things should ever be said in the same sentence. Chuckling, he headed for a shower and then bed. He had a few days before the holiday, time enough to sort through his emotions and make a few important decisions. Clark had no intention of missing Alex cook, not on a bet. And he wanted to have his head on straight before he saw everyone again.

  Humming part of "So Beautiful", he turned off the lights. Clark realized he owed Justin big. He hoped he'd have a chance to pay him back one day.

  Giving Thanks

  Clark knocked on the door and for the first time ever, waited for someone to come and answer instead of going on in.

  When the door opened, Alex stood there. "Clark."

  His flat tone made Clark aware they hadn't spoken since that day in his apartment almost a week ago. He hadn't seen any of them. Clark had stayed away from the office, avoiding Stevie like the plague, taking the time he'd promised himself to think about things and make decisions with a clear mind. He felt more awkward than he expected. He and Alex rarely argued and neither had ever let bad feelings linger between them for so long.

  "Alex, I…" He couldn't finish, finding it hard to talk with an armful of Alex squeezing the breath out of him.

  Knocked off balance, Clark took a step back and went with it, wrapping his arms around his best friend, holding him close.

  "I'm sorry," Alex whispered in a voice that sounded suspiciously damp.

  "Whoa, dude, enough of that." Clark extracted himself from Alex's grip and sure enough his cheeks were wet. "Look, I'm not going any
where. I've been doing some thinking. Jared'll kill me if I quit, not to mention all the money I'll owe him for school." Shallow excuses that had nothing to do with his real reason for staying.

  Clark took a step back at the look on Alex's face, narrowly dodging another bear hug and more tears. "Um, how's dinner coming?"

  Alex grinned. "It's great. Come on, I'll show you!" He grabbed Clark's arm and pulled him into the house.

  Clark stumbled to keep up. "My guitar's out there," he called to Jared as Alex dragged him through the house.

  "I've got it," Jared assured him.

  In the kitchen Clark admired Alex's salad and the bacon seasoned green beans. "That's genius. Bacon makes anything taste better. Green beans, ewww."

  "There's nothing wrong with green beans," Alex said. He looked in the refrigerator and pulled out the pumpkin pie from its hiding place behind the milk.

  Clark looked amazed. "You cooked pumpkin pie?" He edged closer. That pie looked good.

  "It's not that hard. You just put one of those refrigerator pie crusts in a pan and pour in the pumpkin pie stuff out of the can." Insulted, Alex moved the pie out of Clark's reach. "There's Cool Whip in the freezer. I made a cherry pie, too."

  "Did you pulverize the cherries this time?" Clark grinned even brighter when Alex glared at him.

  "They weren't pulverized, they were chopped. I was making a point." Clearly affronted, Alex tucked his pie back into the refrigerator.

  Clark thought maybe the point was Alex should never be left alone in the kitchen, but he had to admit it didn't look too bad so far. But something was wrong and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

  "Who's coming today?" Clark poked through the other dishes in various stages of preparation. Mashed potatoes steamed on the back of the stove and corn on the cob bubbled in a pot on another burner.

  "Jared's mom and my dad. Next year I'll invite your family. Jared didn't tell me you were coming." Alex arranged deviled eggs on a platter as he talked.

  The mention of his family made Clark think of his mother, and his mind suddenly pinpointed what was bothering him. "You aren't having turkey?"

  Alex looked up, his face crinkled in a frown. "Of course we are. Why would you—" He broke off, a look of dread replacing his smile.

  "Are you using one of those cooking bags, because I don't smell—" Clark stumbled away from the front of the stove as Alex shouldered him aside reaching to open it.

  There in the middle of a stone cold oven sat a beautiful white turkey.

  "It's still raw. I forgot to turn on the oven. Oh, my God." Alex groaned.

  Clark wrapped an arm around his shoulder in reassurance. "Well, at least it's not burned. Just turn on the oven."

  "It takes hours to cook a turkey."

  "Oh." Clark began to realize the problem they faced.

  He heard Jared's mother's voice in the other room and remembered he'd seen Frank already there on their mad dash through the house. Alex's first Thanksgiving with Jared in their home and they didn't have a turkey.

  "Hey, how's it going?" Stevie bounced into the kitchen. "Oh, Clark."

  He and Alex turned to face her at the same time.

  She stopped smiling. "What's wrong?"

  "Stay," Clark told Alex. "Turn on the oven and baste or something." He left Alex in front of the stove and pulled Stevie to the side, his need to help Alex overcoming everything else. "Stevie, we have to talk, but right now Alex needs us. Are you in?"

  Stevie nodded. "Yeah, of course."

  It felt like old times as he whispered an explanation of what had happened. Looking worried, Stevie glanced to where Alex carried on a mumbled debate with himself about whether to turn on the oven with all the other food ready to be plated. She chewed her lip and then grinned.

  Eyes sparkling she turned back to Clark. "I have an idea. Tell Alex to go warn Jared about what happened. You and I will get the table ready."

  Clark's brow furrowed. He couldn't see a positive outcome of the situation and Alex would be devastated.

  Stevie patted Clark's arm. "Trust me."

  Clark opened his mouth to say something, but the look on her face stopped him. The immediacy of the problem overcame everything else. If she could get Alex through it, everything else could wait.

  Clark poured a couple of cold drinks and went to hand them to Alex. "Go in the other room and let Jared know what happened, but don't let on to your folks. Stevie says she has an idea that'll fix everything."

  Looking doubtful, Alex accepted the drinks and let Clark steer him towards the doorway. "But how…"

  "Not now. You have to trust us." Once he had Alex reassured and out of the kitchen Clark turned to Stevie. "Okay, now what."

  "You'll see. Help me get the food on the table."

  Biting back his questions, Clark pulled out Jared's serving bowls and began plating the side dishes. It didn't take long before a bounty of food filled the middle of the table. It looked like a traditional Thanksgiving, waiting for the final touch of a turkey, except they hadn't left a place for the bird.

  "Now what?" He still couldn't figure out what she had planned.

  Stevie's grin was blinding in its brilliance. "Come on!"

  When they appeared in the living room they found Janet and Frank on the sofa enjoying their drinks. Alex sat in the recliner, looking tense, clinging to Jared's hand. Everyone glanced their way and Clark hung back behind Stevie, letting her take the brunt of their curiosity. Whatever came next was her idea.

  "I'd like to announce the first annual Thanksgiving Plus." Her sunny smile lit the room. "While Alex has been at school he's had the chance to experiment with some different eating traditions. We're used to Thanksgiving dinner built around the death of a bird. This year he wanted to try something new, a vegetarian Thanksgiving." The others stared at her like she had two heads, and Clark fought to hold back his bray of laughter at the thought of Alex as a vegetarian. "Plus you are all invited to come back tomorrow for Part Two of Thanksgiving, a more traditional meal that will include the turkey."

  It was too much. Clark lost it, but his laughter mixed with everyone else's. Alex blushed but he laughed too, wrapped safely in Jared's arms. Jared's eyes met Clark's and he nodded approval. Clark shrugged and pointed at Stevie.

  Alex extracted himself from Jared's arms. "Let's eat!" He followed everyone into the small dining room adjoining the kitchen. He paused to hug Stevie and Clark. "Thanks, guys, that was both stupid and brilliant." He laughed.

  "The brilliant part, that was me," Clark assured him.

  Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm sure." He started into the other room but stopped abruptly, and Clark ran into his back.

  "You have no walking skills."

  Alex ignored Clark's teasing. "I'm really glad you guys were here today, and now that you've expanded Thanksgiving to two days for the rest of my life, I hope you know I expect you to be here every Thanksgiving. Every single one of them."

  Clark frowned. "What are you talking about? Just cook the freaking turkey on time next year."

  Alex nodded towards everyone settling into chairs around the table, Jared grinning and laughing. "You introduced Mr Tradition to the idea of a two day Thanksgiving. What do you think happens next?"

  Clark roughed Alex's hair as if years separated them instead of months. "Where else would I be? Just make sure it's not a tradition of burned turkey on the second day. Now come on, I'm starving."

  Clark dropped back to walk beside Stevie. "Vegetarian Thanksgiving? Worst idea ever," he hissed at her on the way to the table.

  She blinded him with her smile and the pain in his heart eased.

  * * * *

  The next evening Stevie sat with Clark under the huge old tree that dominated Jared's back yard, feeling over-stuffed and lazy. The second day of Thanksgiving Plus had been a hit. Frank and Beth came back for the extended celebration and they all spent the morning decorating for Christmas. Lights glittered in the lower branches of the tree, like fireflies in the twilight.
Exchanging a sappy, love-filled glance with Jared, Alex had insisted on stringing them himself. The entire theme of Thanksgiving Plus had played out beautifully. Stevie gave herself a mental pat on the back.

  "It wasn't that bad, admit it," she teased.

  "The plus part is great. The minus a turkey part sucked. Do you think bacon on green beans yesterday was a cheat?"

  Laughing, Stevie leaned her shoulder against his. "It's a miracle that was the only meat Alex cooked with. Though I'm pretty sure no one really believed he planned a two day celebration." She didn't know where her relationship with Clark would end up, but teaming up to save Alex had at least restored their friendship.

  Clark chuckled. "I have no idea how you thought of it. Pretending he did it on purpose was a brilliant way for him to save face. And Jared? Honey, he's so happy you'd think Alex did plan it. "

  It grew chilly as the sun sank with a final dazzling display of light on the horizon. "Alex looked so pitiful, I had to do something."

  "He did seem a little shell shocked. Burn the kitchen down or don't cook at all. There's no half way with that boy." The fondness in Clark's voice kept the words from being a mockery and warmed Stevie's heart.

  "You're a good friend."

  Clark glanced over at her, surprised. "I guess I am sometimes, not so much lately."

  Stevie's sigh held the weight of the world. "We really need to talk." She dreaded bearing her soul to the man she loved, terrified he'd find her lacking, but she'd lose everything if she didn't try.

  Clark's sigh echoed hers. "If we don't, either Jared or Alex might be driven to violence."