Two Cats and a Baby

by Tom Watson

  “I’m sure of it,” Edith interrupted. “Imagine—just imagine—what that rotten, twisted munchkin has done in the past several hours! First, she robs me of my precious slumber time. Then she robs you of your tasty, smoky, chewy sausages! That sniveling, sniffling sneak!”

  “Well, I’m not quite sure that—” Stick Cat began to say in Millie’s defense.

  But he was interrupted again.

  This time, he was interrupted by the doorbell.

  Chapter 3

  GRANDMA COBB

  It was Grandma Cobb, Tiffany’s mom.

  When the bell rang, Tiffany hurried to the door to let her in. “Mom!” she exclaimed, and gave her a big hug.

  Ever since Edith was a kitten, she had known Grandma Cobb.

  Grandma Cobb looked like she always did. She wore a lovely, flowing, long flower-print dress. She wore a big floppy hat, carried an oversized shoulder bag, and wore a very long purple-and-yellow beaded necklace. She wore that necklace every day. It was really, really long and Grandma Cobb looped it around her neck several times. When it was unclasped, it could stretch all the way from one side of the living room to the other.

  Edith’s very first memory was when Grandma Cobb used that purple-and-yellow necklace to play with her. Grandma dangled it in front of Edith—and Edith batted at it with her little kitten paws. Grandma swished the necklace across the floor and Edith bounded after it with all her kitten energy. Grandma looped it loosely around Edith’s neck to play dress-up—and Edith pranced in front of the mirror with all the kitten prissiness she could muster.

  Edith adored Grandma Cobb. She remembered when Grandma would pick her up and bring her close. She would stare into her eyes and say, “You can be my grandkitty.”

  As soon as she saw Grandma Cobb enter the apartment, Edith hustled toward the door in several joyous leaps and bounds. She rubbed her left side against Grandma’s right leg.

  “There’s my grandkitty,” she said, leaning down and stroking Edith gently across the top of her head.

  Edith purred deeply.

  Stick Cat moved across the living room too, but not as fast as Edith. When he arrived, he asked, “Are you happy to see Grandma Cobb?”

  “Happy?! I’m elated! Overjoyed!” Edith exclaimed. She purred and rubbed against Grandma constantly as she spoke. “She’s the best! The absolute best!”

  “I’ve heard you mention her before,” Stick Cat said. He had only seen Grandma Cobb once or twice before. “I can tell how much you like her. Why is that?”

  “Grandma recognizes my unique and charming personality traits,” Edith answered, still purring away. “She always tells me how pretty I am. She admires my magnificent tail. She brings me treats and presents. She’s amazing!”

  “Well, I’m glad—” Stick Cat started to say.

  “Look!” Edith interrupted, and pointed up at Grandma who was now digging around in that huge shoulder bag to fetch something. “She’s getting me a present or a treat right now! I’m sure of it!”

  Stick Cat watched as Grandma searched inside that big bag with her left hand.

  “There it is.”

  She pulled out a small plastic object with a circle on the end. It rattled.

  Upon seeing it, Edith propped herself up on Grandma’s leg and stared longingly at that plastic object.

  “No, not for you,” Grandma said, looking down at Edith briefly. She then looked up and across the living room. “Where’s my granddaughter? Where’s my Millie?”

  That’s when Goose came in from the kitchen. He was holding Millie in his arms.

  “There she is!” Grandma exclaimed, and hurried over. Edith fell off her leg. “There’s the most beautiful girl in the world! Look how big! Four months already!”

  Stick Cat saw the look of disappointment on Edith’s face. It lasted for only a split second.

  “I brought this for you!” Grandma said, and shook the rattle before handing it to Millie. Millie took it eagerly and immediately began to chew on it.

  Again, Edith looked disappointed. But, again, that look lasted just a single moment.

  “There’s probably something in the bag for you too,” Stick Cat reassured Edith. “It’s a big bag.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Edith said confidently. “It’s Grandma Cobb, after all. And I’m her grandkitty.”

  It was precisely that moment when Grandma said something that made Edith even more confident.

  “Who wants to see my necklace?” she said loudly and playfully.

  “Told you!” Edith screeched, and pivoted quickly. She leaped away from Stick Cat at the apartment’s door and toward Grandma in the center of the living room. In midair, Edith exclaimed, “I love that necklace!”

  After two more leaps, Edith landed at Grandma’s feet. She looked up and saw her swinging that purple-and-yellow necklace in the air. The colorful beads twirled and sparkled as they caught the sunlight streaming through the window.

  Edith got up on her hind legs and propped herself against Grandma again.

  But Grandma didn’t even notice.

  She was too busy watching Millie reach, grab, and grasp that necklace with her fingers. Edith saw this and dropped back to all fours on the living-room carpet.

  By this time, Stick Cat had worked his way to the middle of the living room too. He saw the sadness on Edith’s face.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Stick Cat said, trying to comfort Edith. “It’s just because Millie is new.”

  The look of disappointment lasted slightly longer than the previous one. But, again, her love of—and faith in—Grandma Cobb were far too strong and sturdy to leave any trace of lingering doubt.

  And something else occurred right then that increased her confidence.

  Tiffany said, “We’re leaving now, Mom.”

  Edith snapped her head quickly in Stick Cat’s direction. “Did you hear that?” she asked with pure happiness in her voice.

  “I did,” he answered. He wasn’t quite sure why Edith was so gleeful.

  “Everybody is leaving!” exclaimed Edith. “I get Grandma all to myself!”

  Then Tiffany said something else that changed Edith’s mood quickly.

  “Are you sure you’ll be okay here by yourself with Millie?”

  “Of course,” Grandma said. She held Millie up in the air and smiled at her. “This isn’t my first time with a baby, you know. I did raise you and your two brothers, Tiff. I’ll take good care of her while you’re gone. Don’t worry about a thing.”

  “Okay, okay,” Tiffany said.

  “We’ll be absolutely fine, right?” Grandma asked Millie. Millie giggled.

  Edith had, of course, heard this entire conversation—and understood exactly what it meant.

  “Wait a minute,” she said, turning back to Stick Cat. Her gleeful and confident attitude had suddenly turned to doubt and anxiety. “They’re not taking Millie?!”

  Stick Cat answered honestly, “I don’t think so.”

  “Millie is staying here?!”

  “I believe so.”

  “With me and Grandma?!”

  “I think that’s right.”

  “But I can’t compete with that chubby little cherub!”

  Stick Cat took a single moment then to consider his response. He had never seen Edith like this before. Edith was many things. She was prissy, funny, spoiled, and brave. Her bravery wasn’t always well-placed. She tended to do dangerous things often without thinking about them—she thought parachuting or hitching a ride with a couple of pigeons were excellent ways to cross the alley from up on the twenty-third floor, for instance. Edith was, in all respects, an absolutely confident cat. She was totally confident in her appearance, her ideas, and her actions. She was even infinitely proud of her own singing abilities—even though Stick Cat and anyone else in a five-mile radius knew how terrible her ear-ringing shrieking was.

  No. Stick Cat knew this about Edith for sure: she did not lack confidence.

  Ever.

&
nbsp; But now, facing Millie in a competition for Grandma’s attention, Edith suddenly seemed to doubt her own chances.

  “Edith,” Stick Cat said. He was ready to give her self-esteem a boost. “As soon as Millie takes a nap, I’m sure Grandma will remember what a charming, gorgeous, playful companion you are.”

  Edith pulled her mouth to one side for a few seconds then, thinking about Stick Cat’s words.

  “Well,” she said after a pause to think about them. “I don’t think I need Millie to fall asleep for me to defeat her in a battle for Grandma’s affections. Given a level playing field, I think I can handle just about anything.”

  “I believe that’s true,” Stick Cat responded. He was pleased to see Edith’s confidence at least partially restored.

  “And you certainly did sum up my traits nicely,” Edith added. “Charming, gorgeous, and playful are some of my most endearing attributes.”

  “Indeed.”

  “Especially gorgeous.”

  “Especially.”

  “Would you like to add anything else?” Edith asked.

  “Anything else what?”

  “Any additional characteristics about me?” Edith asked. “You know, flesh out your description about me. Add a few details.”

  Stick Cat squeezed his lips together, smiled, and then said, “You’re elegant. You’re fluffy. You’re magnificent.”

  “All true,” Edith said, and nodded.

  She also waited.

  She wanted to hear some more.

  To encourage Stick Cat, Edith provided a prompt. “What about my singing voice?”

  “Umm,” Stick Cat said. It seemed like he was trying to find the right words to use. He found them. “You sing like nobody else I have ever heard before.”

  Edith liked the sound of that.

  “Would you like me to sing something for you right now?” she asked, and cleared her throat quickly. Without waiting for Stick Cat’s reply, Edith inhaled and began to let out a high-pitched, off-key, scratchy, screaming screech.

  “No! No!!” Stick Cat urged as fast as he could.

  Edith stopped.

  “Why not?”

  “Umm,” Stick Cat said. “Umm. If you begin to share your amazing musical talents, Goose and Tiffany will probably want to stay and rejoice in your concert. Then you won’t get to have that alone time with Grandma.”

  “Good point,” Edith said, almost fully satisfied. “Anything else? You know, about me?”

  Stick Cat, utterly relieved that Edith was not going to sing, was happy to provide her with another compliment.

  “You’re modest, Edith,” Stick Cat said.

  “You’re quite modest.”

  “Modest?” Edith asked. “What’s that mean?”

  “It means you’re not full of yourself,” Stick Cat began to explain. “You don’t brag. You have confidence in yourself, but you don’t have to show everybody that you’re confident in yourself.”

  “That’s true,” Edith said, and nodded her understanding. “I am totally modest. I am the most modest cat—the most modest anything—on the entire planet. Nobody is more modest than me. I’m the best at modest! The absolute best!! Why, you can’t even mention the word ‘modest’ without envisioning me and all my beautiful modesty. Nobody can out-modest the lovely and vivacious Edith! Nobody anywhere. Nobody anytime. Edith, Edith, Edith! Modest, modest, modest! That’s me, all right!”

  Stick Cat smiled and simply said, “That’s you, Edith. That’s definitely you.”

  While this conversation happened, Tiffany and Goose put on their jackets and paced to the apartment’s door.

  “You two go on and have a nice time,” Grandma called to them as they opened the door. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

  “Okay, Mom,” Tiffany said. “You can give Millie a little applesauce straightaway. She might be hungry.”

  “I’ll do that right now,” Grandma answered, turned on her left heel, and carried Millie into the kitchen.

  Just as Goose and Tiffany exited the apartment, Goose asked, “Should we warn her about the bathroom door?”

  Tiffany answered, “No. We’ll only be gone for a few hours. Besides, the knob is just loose, not broken.”

  Goose said, “Okay.”

  The apartment door squeezed shut.

  Stick Cat did not know it at the time, but he would wish later that Goose and Tiffany had warned Grandma Cobb about the damaged bathroom doorknob.

  It would have made things a lot less complicated.

  And a lot less scary.

  Chapter 4

  LEFTOVERS

  Grandma Cobb was in the kitchen with Millie—and Edith took no time getting in there too. She sprinted in that direction as soon as the door squeezed shut behind Goose and Tiffany.

  It made perfectly good sense to Stick Cat that Edith wanted to get to the kitchen as quickly as possible. Her favorite person—Grandma—was in there. And her favorite thing—food—was in there too.

  In the few seconds it took for Stick Cat to enter the kitchen, Edith had already positioned herself in the folds of Grandma’s flower-print dress. Stick Cat saw a familiar look on Edith’s face. Her chin was lifted in the air, her eyes were open wide, and her eyelids fluttered precociously.

  “Here comes the first bite!” Grandma said excitedly.

  “I’m ready!” Edith said, and stretched upward toward Grandma.

  But Grandma, as you probably know, was not going to feed that first bite to Edith, of course.

  She was going to feed it to Millie.

  Grandma knew it.

  Millie knew it.

  Stick Cat knew it.

  Edith did not know it.

  “Edith,” Stick Cat said, coming close. “I think Grandma is feeding Millie.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Edith replied. She did not change her position at all. In fact, she stretched upward a little farther. “She may have given that plastic rattle-y thing to Millie. And she may have played with that necklace with Millie. But I refuse to believe that Grandma Cobb came to the kitchen to feed her instead of me. I’m her grandkitty!”

  “But Millie is in her high chair,” Stick Cat said kindly. “That’s where Millie sits when she gets fed.”

  “I’m the grandkitty!” Edith reiterated.

  “Goose and Tiffany just said Grandma could give her some applesauce.”

  “I’m the grandkitty!”

  “She’s not even looking at you.”

  “I’m the grandkitty!”

  Stick Cat gave up.

  But Edith did not.

  Each time Grandma dipped that small silver spoon into the applesauce jar, Edith stretched a little higher. Each time, Edith truly believed the next bite was for her. And each time, Grandma gave it to Millie.

  It took fifteen spoonfuls to finish the jar. And Stick Cat watched Edith’s face and expression the entire time.

  It started with joy.

  Then hope.

  Then denial.

  Then anger.

  Then acceptance.

  Edith dropped down to all fours. She turned to Stick Cat and whispered a single, simple thing.

  “I think Grandma likes that pudgy pip-squeak more than me,” she said quietly. “She’s forgotten about me entirely.”

  “It’s okay, Edith. Let’s go—” Stick Cat began to say. He didn’t finish.

  That’s because right then Grandma took that empty applesauce jar and placed it on the floor in front of Edith. She then unbuckled Millie and lifted her from the high chair. Grandma held Millie in one arm and went to the sink to rinse off the spoon and wash Millie’s face.

  “Look!” Stick Cat exclaimed. “She didn’t forget about you at all!”

  Edith looked down into the empty jar and asked, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

  “You can lick the inside of the jar!” Stick Cat said. He did his best to sound excited, but he could tell Edith was not at all enthusiastic about this prospect. “You can lick the rim!”
/>   “Lick the rim?!” Edith asked.

  “Yes!” Stick Cat said. He really tried his best. “Around the rim is the best part! I bet Grandma saved it just for you!”

  Edith wasn’t buying it.

  She turned from the applesauce jar and toward Stick Cat.

  She asked, “Do you know what this is?”

  “It’s applesauce,” Stick Cat answered. “Tasty, tasty applesauce. Just for you! From Grandma! For her grandkitty!”

  “This,” Edith said, and nodded her head in disgust at the jar. “This is leftovers. Millie ate it first.”

  Stick Cat didn’t say anything then.

  Edith made a single—and final declaration. “I DON’T eat leftovers.”

  And then Edith huffed out of the kitchen. Stick Cat followed her into the living room. He had never seen her so upset. Edith jumped onto the blue couch and curled up in a corner of it.

  “What are you doing?” asked Stick Cat after propping himself up with his front paws.

  “I’m taking a nap, that’s what.”

  “Would you like to do something else instead?”

  “Like what?”

  “We could play Treasure Hunt or StareDown,” Stick Cat suggested. He wanted to do something to lift his best friend’s mood. “We could get one of Goose’s sock balls and bat it back and forth for a while. That would be fun!”

  Edith shook her head and closed her eyes.

  Stick Cat lowered himself back to all fours on the floor. He was about to head to the windowsill to gaze out at the big city while Edith slept.

  But he didn’t get the opportunity.

  That’s because right then Grandma came into the room with Millie in one arm and a blanket in the other.

  And that’s when everything changed.

  Chapter 5

  CLUNK!

  Grandma put Millie down on a pink blanket on the floor in front of the couch.

  “Now I’m going to use the bathroom,” Grandma said to Millie. “I’m going to leave you here for just a minute or two.”