Love Don't Have to Hurt

by Lucinda John

  Once the kitchen was nice, clean, and smelling of bleach, the way Lucas liked it, I walked into our massive master bedroom and began changing out of the lingerie that I was wearing. Slipping into a pair of sweats and a tank top, I grabbed my textbook and began studying. Since Lucas had been in my life and I didn’t have to work, therefore the majority of my focus was on school. I picked up extra classes and went to school with no breaks, cutting my graduation time in half. In three more months, I was going to graduate with my degree! I couldn’t be happier.

  It was one in the morning when I finished studying and there was still no word from Lucas. I began to panic when I called and kept getting the voicemail. Just when I was about to call his office, the alarm chirped, letting me know my husband was home.

  I heard him walk into the kitchen. I knew he was inspecting everything, making sure it was cleaned to his liking. I heard the microwave turn on and the chair being pulled away from the table, scraping across the floor. This motherfucker walks in the house six hours late and warms up food to eat before coming upstairs to greet me. Upset, I marched down the stairs to read my thoughtless husband his rights.

  “It’s one-fifteen in the morning. Where were you?” I asked, with my arms across my chest.

  “I was working,” he shrugged.

  “You were working? That is the only explanation you have for your wife?” I asked, getting in his face.

  “I’m a grown ass man, I didn’t think I needed to fucking explain myself!” he yelled.

  “I am your fucking wife! When you walk your black ass in my fucking house at hoe hours, then yes, you owe me a fucking explanation.”

  WHAP!

  Lucas slapped me hard across my face, splitting my lip. He then tuned back to his food and began eating like what he just did was acceptable.

  “You hit me?” I asked, shocked.

  “I sure did,” he shrugged, taking his empty dish to the sink. “Clean that up.”

  “You just put your hands on me, I ain’t doing shit but packing my things.”

  WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

  He punched me, making my head spin.

  “You’re going to do what?” he asked, kneeling so that we were eye level.

  The burning in my jaw prevented me from talking. Tears mixed with blood ran down my face as I tried to make sense of the situation.

  “I’m talking to you! Answer me when I fucking ask you a question!” he yelled, grabbing me by my hair.

  “I’m going to wash the dishes,” I mumbled.

  “Good girl. Next time you try to spit some hot shit about you leaving me, remember, only in death do we part,” he said, tossing my head back.

  “Make sure you get that fucking blood up off my damn floor,” he said, walking up the steps.

  I tried to get off the floor but my spinning head caused me to lay back down. Balling up in the fetal position, I cried my eyes out. How could someone so loving hit his wife as if she were a man? I asked myself. Lucas didn’t peg me as the abusive type, in fact, up until today, he had been very gentle with me. He wasn’t aggressive and he didn’t make me feel unsafe. This one-eighty-degree change in his behavior confused me. Afraid that he might come back down and finish me off, I forced myself to get up off of the floor. Crawling to the kitchen, I used the sink to pull myself up. With shaking hands, I washed the single dish that was in the sink, then grabbed the Clorox spray to clean the blood that stained our very expensive Italian marble flooring.

  “I’m sorry baby,” he apologized once I walked up the stairs. “I lost a big client that I spent all night trying to please and I was just so angry. I should have never put my hands on you.”

  Grabbing my hands, he led the way to our adjoining bathroom and put a rag under hot running water. Squeezing the excess water out of the rag, he placed it on my face and cleaned up the bruises he’d caused to my face.

  “Are you going to leave me now?” he asked with tears in his eyes.

  I was afraid to answer him for fear of what he might do to me. This wasn’t my loving husband standing before me, this was a monster. There was a stranger in my home and I wanted the intruder gone.

  “Aimee Lee Stinger, are you going to leave me?” he asked. The tears that were in his eyes started to fall, tugging at my heart.

  “No baby, I’m not leaving,” I whispered.

  “Good,” he said, kissing me on the cheek as he finished cleaning my face.

  When he was done, he rid me of my bloodstained clothing and laid my naked body on the bed. Spreading my legs wide, he licked my pussy until I cried out in pleasure. Moans escaped my lips, as tears dripped from my eyes. I prayed whatever this outburst was would never happen again. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the feeling of my husband tickling my insides with his wicked tongue.

  *****

  The blaring of my alarm clock woke me up out of my sleep. I had an hour to prepare Lucas’ breakfast before he returned from his early morning run. Pushing back the ivory Eliasa Winter OS King Eiderdown Comforter off of my naked body, I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. The sight of my bruised face made tears well up in my eyes. My precious husband Lucas really did a number on my face.

  Grabbing my toothbrush, I attempted to brush my teeth, but was interrupted by the stinging sensation in my jaw. I quickly handled my morning hygiene, then dressed in a tan and black satin Victoria’s Secret bra and panty set, with the matching short robe that did very little to hide my ass. This was how Lucas liked for me to dress at the breakfast table. He would always say that he enjoyed eating an amazing meal, while staring at my amazing body. When it came time to do my hair, I fixed it so that it would fall and cover my bruises. Satisfied with my sexy morning look, I went downstairs to prepare breakfast.

  I scrambled eggs and fried turkey bacon, my mind replaying last night’s events. I still couldn’t believe my husband beat me. Shit like this was only supposed to happen in movies, so why was it happening to me?

  I put a few slices of raisin bread in the toaster. I waited until it was lightly toasted before adding some cinnamon butter to it. I placed the contents of breakfast neatly on his plate, then I poured him a tall glass of orange juice. Placing a Smart Water next to his meal, I waited for him to walk through the door.

  When Lucas finally made it back to the house, he was casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, instead of his usual morning workout gear. He held a bouquet of my favorite red roses in one hand, and a gift bag in the other.

  “Good morning,” he chimed. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, feeling nervous.

  I wasn’t sure how I should act in front of him. I didn’t want to do anything to trigger his anger. I couldn’t take another beating. My head was still spinning from the one I got last night.

  “Come here baby,” he signaled for me to sit on his lap. “Relax,” he whispered in my ear before kissing it.

  “This is for you. I am truly sorry for my disgusting behavior. I should have never put my hands on you.”

  “Don’t do it again,” I cried in his arms.

  “I won’t. I promise,” he replied, pulling my head back so we could engage in a passionate kiss.

  “What are your plans for today?” he asked.

  “Nothing, just studying.”

  “How about you and Shanice go to the spa? My treat,” he said, handing me the gift bag.

  Inside the bag was a pair of Christian Louboutin So Kate red bottom pumps, with the matching bag.

  “Open the bag.”

  I opened the bag and gasped at the money that it was filled with.

  “Here,” he said, handing me a card.

  “Awww,” I gushed at the handmade card that expressed his apology.

  “You and Shanice go out and have a girl’s day. Be sure to make it home by seven, in time for dinner. I am going to cook you a meal so good it’s going to blow your mind,” he smiled.

  “Thank you, baby” I kissed him on the lips. “Eat up before your breakfast
gets cold,” I said before rushing up the stairs to prepare myself for me and Shanice’s spa day.

  With the help of MAC, I was able to hide all evidence of the abuse. After beating my face to perfection, I dressed myself in a pair of blue distressed high waist jeans, a white crop top, red blazer, and completed my outfit with a pair of red sandals. My fire engine red MAC lipstick matched my outfit to perfection. After admiring my ass in my jeans, I grabbed my red bag and filled it with the money. I had plans on depositing all of it in my secret account, and using Lucas’ black card to pay for our girl’s day out.

  *******

  “You’re not getting a facial?” Shanice asked as we got our massages.

  “No, Lucas hired someone to come give me a facial already. I’m good,” I lied.

  “Your husband is perfect,” she smiled, closing her eyes.

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was perfect. Lucas wasn’t abusive, he was just under a lot of stress. Losing a well-paying client must have been hard on him. Maybe I should have been more considerate of his feelings, instead of jumping to conclusions.

  “I’m pregnant,” Shanice said, causing me to choke on my spit.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I’m pregnant. Six weeks.”

  “How? I mean I know how, but I thought you and Stephen broke up.”

  “We did, and the baby is not for Stephen,” she replied, closing her eyes.

  “Spill the fucking tea, Kermit!” I yelled.

  “The baby is for Jordan. We’ve been having sex for the past three months.”

  “Club Rol-Lexx owner, Jordan? My brother in-law Jordan?” I asked, trying to make sense of the situation.

  “Yes, that Jordan.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I tried, but lately it’s been all about Lucas,” she scoffed.

  “I’m so sorry for neglecting you. How about we do this twice a week? Get together and spend the whole day spending Lucas’ money.”

  “That’ll work,” she smiled.

  “What are you going to do about the baby?”

  “Keep it,” she shrugged.

  “Does he know?” I asked.

  “Yup. That motherfucker stood in the bathroom and watched me pee on the stick.”

  “Wow, how romantic. What now?”

  “He fired me,” she giggled. “We’re going to try this relationship thing and see how it goes.”

  “Wow. That’s crazy. Well at least our wish came true. We snagged brothers that both look good, with lots of money.”

  “You can say that again,” she said, high fiving me.

  Chapter 9

  Lucas

  I knew Aimee was pissed at me for missing her big day, but it was ironic that the same day she graduated, my daughter graduated kindergarten. This was one of her many graduations, and I didn’t want to miss it. Her mother Carol has been giving me hell with this damn restraining order. The only way I’m able to visit my daughter is if my mother flew with me to Sacramento. Even then, I have to get a hotel room so that my daughter can spend the weekend with me.

  Aimee knew nothing about Leah, and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew I should have told her about my daughter, but if I did, then she would question me about Carol. I wasn’t ready to revisit the past with her, so I decided to keep everything to myself. With my work description, it was easy for me to lie and say I was going on a business meeting, just to see my little girl.

  “You need to tell that poor girl about your child,” my mother said as we boarded my private jet, headed home.

  “If I do that, then she is going to question me about Carol.”

  “Well man up and answer all of her questions. Leah is your child, not a dog. You can’t hide her forever, especially from your wife, the woman you plan on spending the rest of your life with.”

  “Mama, I hear you. Can you shut your fucking mouth, please? I know for a fact my wife is going to bitch in my ear about missing her graduation. I don’t need to hear your shit!”

  Instead of arguing, my mother shut her mouth like the obedient bitch she was. Growing up, my brother and I grew up watching my father slap my mother around. We would beg her to leave, but she loved her husband and stood by his side. We witnessed the abuse so much that it was considered normal for us. My father would always say, ‘when your bitch don’t act right, slap her around, that will tighten her up’.

  When I arrived home, it was eight o’clock at night. The house was cleaned, just the way I liked it, and dinner was waiting for me in the oven. As I walked through the house, I noticed it was empty. Pulling out my phone, I called Aimee, but I got the voicemail.

  I could feel my blood pressure rise. I called my brother to ask him if my bitch was with his.

  “What’s good, bro?” Jordan answered on the third ring.

  “Where Shanice at?” I asked.

  “She went out with Aimee.”

  “Went out where?” I asked.

  “Out to celebrate their graduation. Come on Lu, cut her some slack, you did miss her graduation,” my brother argued.

  “How I train my bitch is my concern. Worry about yours and I’ll worry about mine,” I said, hanging up the phone.

  Grabbing a fifth of Hennessey, I picked up my stress balls and began twirling them in the palm of my hand. These balls were supposed to calm my nerves, but the more I thought of my wife leaving the house without my permission, the angrier I got.

  It was three in the morning when my wife decided to waltz her ass in the house. Putting the almost finished bottle of Hennessey on the table, I watched as she removed her shoes from her feet. Not only did she go out without my permission, she was dressed like a complete whore in a mini skater dress. Humming a tune to herself, she walked passed me and tried to go to the stairs.

  “Where have you been?” I asked, startling her.

  “Oh shit, Lucas. You scared me. I thought you were returning home tomorrow afternoon,” she gasped.

  “You thought you were free to hoe around?” I asked, throwing my balls across the room.

  “What are you talking about? Shanice and I just went out on the strip to listen to music. She wanted to cheer me up, since you didn’t make it to my graduation.”

  “That’s beside the fucking point! When do you ever leave the fucking house without telling me?”

  “I didn’t think I had to.”

  “See, that’s your fucking problem, you don’t think!” I yelled, shoving her into the wall.

  I jumped on the stupid bitch and punched her in the nose, instantly splitting it. Blood gushed on my expensive stairs, infuriating me more. I punched her in the face three times before delivering a forceful kick to her abdomen.

  “Ouch! Please stop!” she cried out in pain.

  “You got me fucked up if you think it’s ok to leave my fucking house, without my permission, dressed like a damn whore!” I yelled, dragging her up the stairs by her hair.

  “What the fuck is this shit?” I asked, tugging on her extensions. “You went to meet another nigga?” I kicked her to the ground again.

  Aimee never wore weave. The fact that she had this extra-long hair pissed me off. Thoughts of her being with another nigga flooded my mind, causing me to lose it. I picked her up and threw her against the bed. I tried to reach for her panties, but she sat up, attempting to stop me.

  Punching her in the face, she laid back down while I finished the task of removing her thong. After inspecting them, I brought them up to my nose and sniffed for the scent of another man. When I didn’t detect any, I shoved two fingers in her pussy, then brought them to my nose.

  “Oh God, stop!” she cried out in pain.

  “Don’t call God now. You weren’t so holy while you were out being a little hoe!” I yelled, dragging her off the floor and tossing her into the dresser. Everything came crashing down on her.

  “Listen here, bitch, I’m the boss of this house. You will do what I say, when I say it. Failure to follow those rules w
ill result in you getting punished. Now, I’m leaving. When I come back, I want all this shit cleaned up. Oh, and think about leaving if you want to,” I yelled, walking past her.

  Grabbing my car keys and wallet, I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I was in desperate need of a stress reliever, so I went to visit one of my many jump-offs.

  “Wifey ain’t acting right?” Peanut asked, answering the door.

  “Shut the fuck up and suck my dick!” I yelled, taking a seat on the chair.

  “Your wish is my command,” she replied like the good bitch she was.

  Peanut unzipped my pants, then slid to the ground on her knees. She licked her lips then took all of me deep down her throat. Taking my frustrations out on her mouth, I fucked the shit out of her throat until I was spilling my seeds down her throat.

  Chapter 10

  Aimee

  (Two weeks later)

  I wanted to be mad at the beating I received, but it was my fault. Lucas was right. Had I mentioned to him that I was going out with Shanice, all of this would have been avoided. Lucas worked hard providing for me and my family, the least I could do was respect his wishes.

  The pain in my ribs had gone away and my face was now rid of all the bruises. I was back to normal physically, but my heart was now in pain. I wasn’t in pain because of the abuse, I was in agony because it’d been two weeks since I’d heard from Lucas. Him ignoring me was by far worse than the beating I’d suffered fourteen days ago.

  Every day I woke up, I made sure breakfast was ready and waiting for him. When he didn’t show, I would pack the food up and take it to the homeless people downtown. I made sure the house was spotless, the way he liked it. I even made sure to wear his favorite perfume.

  All of my calls were sent to voicemail and all of my texts went unanswered. He even went as far as to block me off all of his social networking sites. His new assistant would always tell me he was on an important business call whenever I called, so for the past few days, I would lay down with a glass of wine and watch our wedding video.