by Z. Allora
Inside the stall, Styx pulled down his underwear. His eyes widened. He must be seeing things.
Plastic rings encircled the length of his flaccid shaft, held together by a separate ring with a tiny lock on it. Would the doctors have put this restrictive device on him? Did they figure out what had happened?
Styx tried to pull off the rings, but they were looped around his balls and held fast.
There was a light tap on the door.
“Just sit down. Point yourself down. It’ll work fine.” Jin’s voice echoed in the empty bathroom.
“How did you—” This device wasn’t the doctor’s doings.
Styx heard the faucets turn on and splashing water. Jin must be washing his hands. Styx took care of business and emerged. Jin waited by the sink, smiling.
Washing his hands and face gave Styx time to figure out what to say. Though the only thing that came to mind was “Why?”
“A simple solution to a complex problem,” Jin stated.
“Why?” How could Jin do this to him?
Jin swallowed and his eyes misted. “I can’t lose you. I won’t.”
Styx had to say something. “But I—”
“For now, this is the answer.”
Styx inhaled a deep breath, hating himself for the pain he caused Jin. But a more practical question came to mind. Gesturing toward the apparatus, he asked, “Where did you get this?”
“The big boss dropped the chastity device off.” Jin said it casually, as if it were a new shirt and not a device that locked away Styx’s manhood. “Don’t worry; he thinks it’s for a VIP client.”
“VIP client?” Styx asked, but he didn’t want an explanation. The thought made his stomach knot.
Jin patted dry the water droplets that clung to Styx’s hair with a paper towel and let out a long breath. “I can’t be with you every second, but this way you’re safe.”
“Yeah, but….” Styx stopped speaking when fear crossed Jin’s face.
The knot in his stomach turned into a coiling snake. He shut his mouth. He’d caused Jin’s anxiety, and now he’d do whatever it took to erase worry.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to find the person you care most about in the world on the floor, turning blue, not breathing? Do you realize how many people die from this way of dă shǒuqiāng each year?” Jin shook his head as if to shake loose bad images conjured by the words. He paced, probably trying to gather his self-control.
When Styx opened his mouth to object, Jin got in his face and glared. “You want to get off? I understand. First, we will rid your body of the crazy cocktail of pills you’ve been taking. It sounds like a big part of your problem. Then we’ll deal with any other issues you have. Together.”
What could Styx say? He stared at the man who was his entire life.
“Never again. Not on my fucking watch.” Jin’s whole demeanor dared him to disagree.
The words Styx had were inadequate, but he said them anyway. “I’m sorry for putting you through all this. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but thank you for being there to save me.”
Jin stared at him for a long time. “You heard the doctor. I’m lucky I didn’t hurt you more. All I did was untie you, call the ambulance, and give you bruises.”
“Thank you.”
Jin’s attention focused on Styx’s mouth. Styx’s heart raced, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss Jin hard to reaffirm he had a life to live… but he didn’t. With a pang of sorrow, he realized he didn’t have the balls for such a bold move. Instead he asked, “Can you help me back to the room?”
“Sure.” Jin wrapped an arm around Styx, hugging him close, before starting to meander back to his hospital bed.
Styx allowed himself to treasure the contact for a moment before crushing the pleasure.
He must have stiffened, because Jin asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, fine. Just tired.” And he was—both physically and mentally drained from the entire situation.
Chapter 3
A DAY after Styx was released from the hospital, Jin suggested, “Let’s go to the Lion Grove Garden.”
A short train ride later, Styx and Jin were climbing around the rockery of one of their favorite gardens.
Ornate gray limestone protrusions shot up around a tranquil lake, its glassy surface marred only by occasional koi surfacing to feed and flashes of their orange and silver gliding by. The limestone rocks, some of which resembled lions, were littered with natural holes of various sizes and shapes and formed an interesting maze. If the right path was chosen, it led to the towering teahouse pavilion. The teahouse had been refurbished in the last century, but the Chinese craftsmen were so precise with their restoration it appeared original. Parts of the garden were untouched from the 1300s, though braces now held up several of the ancient pine trees to prevent them from toppling.
Styx sighed in irritation when a tour guide screamed to her group, interrupting the garden’s peace. Her voice carried to them an explanation of how the rocks came all the way from Taihu Lake. It wasn’t far by modern standards, but in the Yuan dynasty, it must have seemed like an interplanetary move.
As expected, around three thirty the tour groups left. Apart from a few older folks, Jin and Styx had the garden to themselves.
Jin beamed at Styx. “We have to thank your grandfather again for these passes. Mmmm, smell the jasmine.”
He stuck his face in the large bush to inhale. When he finally stepped back, he came away with several white petals stuck in his golden hair.
“Come here.” Styx plucked each flower petal out of Jin’s hair. He fought the need to exchange kisses for each petal.
Jin leaned over, bringing with him the intoxicating scent of the flowers mixing with his own.
Styx was glad Jin relished the gardens of Suzhou as much as he did. With the garden passes, they visited the eighteen popular gardens created by the emperor’s retired gardeners, and even the smaller, lesser-known ones commissioned by rich merchants.
“Yeah, just remember we have to renew the cards soon. Hard to believe we’ve been in Suzhou for almost a year,” Styx mused.
They climbed the steep, rough-hewn limestone steps, along flat stone bridges between formations, and down into the rockery that rimmed the pond. Across from their position, a number of elderly people gathered for an informal senior social club at the old teahouse. The excited words of two men playing a heated game of mahjong carried to them, making Styx recall how animated Jin became when he won a game.
“Styx?”
“Jin?” He hoped to lighten the direction of the conversation he was sure Jin would take.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were depressed?” The words tumbled out of Jin as if he’d held them back far too long.
Styx tried to make fun of the diagnosis. “According to the doctor, I’m not. I need to focus on my work.”
He didn’t miss the concern on Jin’s face. Turning away, Styx climbed onto the next section of rocks. The trees blocked their view of the tea pavilion’s ornate carved guardians and the people gathered in their protective shadow. Styx almost believed they were the only ones in the world.
“Styx?”
A one-word warning told him he’d better fess up and do so quickly.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want you to know.” No man wanted to show such a loss of face. His inner voice demanded he act as culture dictated.
Styx jumped off the bridge path and landed on the rock face. He stepped around the peak, grabbing one of the jagged edges as he climbed over to grin at Jin.
“Careful, Styx.”
He scaled the unexplored parts of the rockery, relishing the fact he was breaking the rules. He’d left the proper-acting, rule-following boy back in Yintang. Here with Jin, he became himself—Styx, the boy who loved making Jin laugh, and not Jun Tai, the boy who had to marry a neighbor girl to please his family and honor tradition.
Styx orbited Jin, leaping from limestone outcroppin
g to tiny footholds in the rocks until once again he stood beside his favorite person in the world.
Jin’s sharp inhale warned Styx to brace himself. “Styx, tell me why. Is it because you miss Bi Yu?”
“No.” The denial might have come a little too quickly, but the outburst made Jin smile, so it was okay.
“You rarely talk to her on the phone unless you call your mom when she is visiting Bi Yu’s house.” Jin pointed out the fact.
Styx was surprised Jin had noticed. “So?”
Jin probed, “Well, is she upset you’re not home?”
What was Jin thinking? Styx added, “Trust me when I say she doesn’t miss me at all.”
“Oh.” Jin got quiet.
The two resumed climbing, following the path. Just when Styx thought uncomfortable subjects had been dropped, Jin asked, “Why Western medicines?”
“I thought they might work better.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. He wanted the magic of those little pills. Sometimes, they seemed to be the only thing that stopped him from acting on his yearnings. Now the chemical control had left his system, and he longed to utilize this second chance.
“You do understand you might’ve been buying knock-off medicines, right?”
“Huh?” Styx snapped out of his inner turmoil. “Oh, um, no. They were from the pharmacy and had the scan label on them.” Styx wasn’t stupid; he’d checked.
Jin sighed. “They ship shit to us from Korea, and the boxes are marked one way, but they might be something else entirely. You have to be very careful.”
Styx didn’t consider the possibility of not getting the right medicine. “I’m sorry. It was stupid on many levels. I won’t do it again.” He squeezed Jin’s shoulder. “Really. I promise. Can we forget it?”
Jin nodded and studied the two paths in front of them. They stood at a crossroads. One path led over the stone bridge to the tea pavilion and the other set of stairs would take them down into a private grotto and farther into the rockery.
Glancing at Styx, Jin asked, “Which way?”
Styx had memorized the rock maze, but direction still stumped Jin. “Your choice, Jin.” He tapped out a beat with imaginary sticks while he watched Jin’s struggle. Styx tried not to laugh, but he found it hysterical that Jin hadn’t yet learned the key to the maze. He enjoyed watching Jin wander deeper into the maze while searching for the exit.
After reassessing the available pathways, Jin chose the path to the grotto and descended the uneven carved steps into the shadows. This path meant they’d be stuck in the maze for another fifteen minutes. Styx shook his head and followed Jin into the depths of the rockery.
Jin stopped at the darkest part of the small empty cavern, and Styx stumbled into him.
“Hey!” Styx laughed as his eyes adjusted. Little light bled through the opening to reach them.
Turning, Jin laughed and steadied him. “You should watch where you’re going.”
“I was. You shouldn’t stop dead like you’re driving on the highway getting a cell call.”
Jin’s eyes sparkled in the gloom.
Styx imagined many lovers exchanging kisses as they passed through this tiny dim cavern.
As if reading his mind, Jin pushed Styx against the rough wall. His weight held Styx in place, and when he spoke, his face pressed closer still. “Why not, Styx?”
A shiver of pleasure ran through him. “Um, ’cause….”
Jin pinned him against the wall like he needed to prevent any attempt at escape. “’Cause why?”
Jin’s voice did things it shouldn’t to Styx, but Styx pushed away the judgment. He needed to stop trying to get away from how Jin made him feel. He wished he never had a reason to move again.
As Styx stared into Jin’s long-lashed, European eyes, he forgot the damned question.
“’Cause why?” Jin prompted when he didn’t respond. His tongue swept out of his wide mouth to moisten his pale pink lips.
Wow, Styx barely stopped his own tongue from following Jin’s back into the depths of his friend’s mouth. He wanted desperately to kiss Jin. Just once. One real kiss, one taste so he’d always remember the pleasure.
Styx blinked out of the trance, unready to risk it all yet. He had to follow Jin’s lead, be sure Jin was interested.
Not knowing what else to do, he nudged Jin back, but Jin was quicker and grabbed his hands. Jin leaned into the opposite wall and dragged Styx with him.
Their fingers entwined. The connection touched an unexpected place in Styx’s heart. It was sweet, but another part of him realized Jin’s back was against the wall and Styx had been steered into the dominant position in front of Jin. Now Jin’s slender form was trapped by Styx’s against the limestone.
Below the waist, their bodies rubbed together in a way that wasn’t sweet at all. Their breathing synchronized. Styx wasn’t the only one panting.
Jin peeked through his eyelashes. “It appears I’m surrounded.”
The pretense of helplessness flipped Styx’s switch. His breath hitched in excitement, and his cock stiffened within the confines of its encircling rings. It throbbed against the plastic in protest.
Voices and feet on the rocks above warned of company joining them soon. Styx snapped back to reality and tried to move away, but Jin wrapped a leg around his lower back and pulled him closer with a laugh. “I captured you. What should I do with you?”
Styx tried to ignore his imprisoned cock pressed tight against Jin’s inviting body. Though Styx couldn’t achieve a full erection, the delicious friction made him light-headed.
Jin chuckled, determined to get an answer. “What should I do with you?” His unencumbered erection pressed into Styx.
Styx answered without conscious thought. “Anything.”
“Anything?”
“Yeah. Anything.” Styx’s hoarse whisper carried all the honesty he’d withheld until now. He licked his lips and imagined the things Jin might claim as the forfeit for his release.
Jin’s gaze seemed focused on Styx’s wet lips. Styx might be projecting his fantasies onto Jin, but he had the impression Jin might take him up on his offer. Every voice in Styx’s mind went silent, and he waited for Jin to name a task.
In that moment, he’d do anything Jin asked of him, no matter how shocking.
But the heavy stomp of feet on the steps drove them apart. Jin headed toward the light, and Styx followed.
Before Styx’s disappointment set in, Jin glanced over his shoulder with a secretive smile and halted before the exit. “Anything?”
Styx sidled past Jin and blinked in the bright sunlight. It was one of Suzhou’s unusual clear-blue-sky days. “Yeah.”
Jin smirked as if he’d tricked Styx and trailed after him. “I want… to give you a massage. I can use some oils and unblock your meridians.”
“My what?” Styx struggled to find his normal voice as he mentally caught up to the fact he no longer had Jin in his arms. A massage? He needed to wrap his mind around having Jin’s hands on him, but at the same time, he couldn’t imagine not having Jin’s hands on him.
Within steps, he and Jin stood side by side on a flat rock at the water’s edge. The tea pavilion’s reflection gleamed on its still surface. Jin pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Styx imagined this was one of the perspectives that the garden’s creator had intended visitors to see.
Many of the gardeners treated their gardens as a living canvas. Every few meters, the scene enchanted the visitor with a unique and different view of the garden. The master gardener enticed the visitor ever deeper by giving hints of the beauty around the next turn.
Jin put away his phone and gave Styx an excited grin. “Meridians are pathways your qi flows through. You know, your energy. Unblocking these pathways balances the body, and it works for depression too.”
When Jin spoke of massage or Chinese medicine he had an alluring confidence…. Styx wanted to say yes, but for years he’d refused the massages Jin offered. As m
uch as he wanted Jin’s hands on his body, fanning the flames of his desire might not be the best idea.
“You did say anything.” Jin’s arched eyebrow dared Styx to disagree.
Styx shrugged. “I guess I did.”
Jin beamed before turning toward the cavern’s mouth. He glanced back at the pond and frowned. “Dammit!” Jin stomped his sneaker. “We’re right back in the middle of the first set of rocks.”
Styx tried to hold in his laughter.
“You knew, didn’t you?”
When Jin shook his head and tried not to smile, it only made Styx laugh harder.
A FEW hours later, Styx hadn’t thought of any plausible reason to avoid the massage, so he was facedown on their sheet-covered window-seat cushion, wearing only his underwear and the plastic restraint.
Flute music played in the background.
Jin placed a towel over Styx’s jersey-covered ass and set out his essential oils. He knelt beside Styx’s prone body and hummed along with the bamboo flute as he custom-blended oils for Styx.
“The bergamot reestablishes a smooth flow of qi to your liver.” Jin added drops to the tiny bottle of carrier oil. “Neroli calms stress, which is the cause of nervous exhaustion. And rose oil, just in case….” Jin’s words trailed off as if he was too uncomfortable to finish the thought.
“In case of what? What does rose oil do?” Styx demanded an answer as if that was his real worry.
The dropper clattered to the floor and rolled away. Styx opened his eyes in confusion as Jin, usually graceful, fumbled for it.
“Um, it’s used for a lot of things.”
Styx could feel this might be important. “Yeah, like what?”
Jin blushed and busied himself with the oils. “Oh, um, helps with root emotions.”
“Root emotions?”
Jin sighed in frustration as the eyedropper hit the floor again. He snatched it up and wiped the dropper clean for a second time. “Root emotions can cause depression if they are imbalanced.”
Styx arched an eyebrow, awaiting the rest of the answer.
