Dangerous Passions

by Leigh Anderson

  “Already done,” she said. “But perhaps one day you could show me some of your work?”

  “I would be more than delighted,” he said. “If you ever want to know more about art or if you would like a painting lesson, let me know.”

  “Actually,” Isoline said. “My aunt, she has…hundreds, possibly thousands of paintings throughout the house.”

  He nodded. “I am aware. She is quite the avid collector.”

  “Yes,” Isoline said. “She has given me permission to examine her collection and choose a few for myself. But it has been quite overwhelming. Do you think you could tell me more about some of the pieces and help me choose the best ones?”

  “As you said, art is subjective,” he said. “You might personally enjoy a painting by an unknown hermit living on the sea more than one by William Blake.”

  She grimaced and did not try to hide it. “I dare say I would dread having a Blake in my quarters.”

  He laughed. “Exactly. But I know what you mean. I can certainly use my artist’s eye to help you choose a few paintings for your rooms.”

  “What would be wonderful,” she said, nearly hopping in excitement.

  “Is there a particular time you would prefer me to call?” he asked.

  “My schedule is rather open,” Isoline said. “Other than you and my cousin Tristan, I’ve barely met a soul.”

  “I hope to see you again soon then, dear Isoline,” he said with a bow.

  Isoline turned back up the path with a spring in her step and thoughts of Auberon in her heart.

  Chapter Eight

  Isoline…

  He had been coming to her almost every night for weeks. But for the first time, she was feeling apprehensive about it.

  She knew it was because of Auberon.

  She grabbed her robe as she stood and waited for him to come to her. Together, they walked in silence through the glen in the cool blue night.

  She felt content and safe in his company, and something more. She truly believed that she would never need a living man in her life as long as she had the man in her dreams.

  So why couldn’t she stop thinking about Auberon?

  She knew it was because settling for a figment of her imagination was foolish. Auberon was a real, flesh-and-blood man. A handsome man. A thoughtful man. A man who said more to her than just her name but carried a conversation.

  She already felt a stronger, deeper connection to Auberon than she had ever felt for Cyril. She had agreed to marry Cyril because it was the right thing to do. But Auberon ignited in her something she never thought she would have if she married a man out of duty.

  Passion.

  She knew that even thinking about such a thing was dangerous. As she had already told herself a hundred times, she would never be allowed to marry Auberon. So entertaining any thoughts of getting closer to him, getting to know him, allowing him close to her…It could only lead to disaster.

  She did not know what the future held. Her aunt could die at any moment and leave her with nothing. Her father might arrange a marriage without her consent. She might need to enter a convent to keep from becoming a woman of the street. Her virtue, her honor, her dignity needed to remain above reproach. She could need it later.

  She felt guilty about all these thoughts running through her head as she walked alone at night with the man in her dreams. Did he have any idea what she was thinking? What she was going through? She rather thought not. He had been angry and left her when she told him about Cyril. If he knew about her budding feelings for Auberon, how could he be anything but upset. Especially after he helped calm her when she thought she was out of options. He might have even had a hand in arranging her situation here with her aunt.

  She sighed and shook her head. She felt something brush against the back of her right hand as it dangled at her side. She didn’t look, but turned the tips of her fingers out and entangled them in his. He was there. He was real. She didn’t know how it was possible, but the man in her dreams was every bit as real as Auberon. And just like with Cyril, she would eventually have to make a choice.

  But not tonight.

  There was a knock at the door. Isoline’s heart leaped into her throat, but she did not rise from her chair. She did not want Auberon to think she was too eager to see him, even though she had been sure to wear her nicest outfit and fix her hair just right and wear just a bit of makeup in case he should stop by.

  The door to the sitting room opened and Talbot announced the visitor. “The Vicar Edwards.”

  Isoline nearly dropped her book as she stood, she was so surprised. In breezed a man who appeared to be in his late thirties with rosy cheeks and a smile on his face. He removed his hat and walked over to Isoline with his hand extended.

  “My dear Miss Beresford,” he said as he gave her hand a congenial shake. “Please do forgive me for taking so long to call. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

  It took a moment for Isoline to find the words to respond. “Think nothing of it,” she said. “I had no idea I should have expected you. Talbot, tea please.”

  “Of course, miss,” he said as he left the room momentarily to prepare the tray.

  Isoline did not bother to mention her aunt. She was sure the staff had already alerted her to their guest. She motioned to the couches and they sat across from each other.

  “To what do I owe such an esteemed visit?” Isoline asked.

  “I truly must apologize,” the vicar said. “I have known about your arrival for weeks, but it is rather a long way out and I simply couldn’t carve out the time to visit until today.”

  “There is nothing to apologize for, truly,” Isoline said. “As you say, we are rather isolated. I am glad to have a visit even if it is only in a blue moon.”

  “Yes,” he said. “My wife also wanted to come, but trying to find time for both of us was proving rather impossible. She couldn’t come today because she didn’t think the children could behave for a carriage ride here and back again and be quiet long enough for a decent chat.” He let out a chuckle.

  Isoline was glad to hear of him speak about his family. Even though he was complaining, she could tell it was good-natured and that he adored his wife and children. She was relieved to have one man she could speak with without being concerned that he would suddenly try to be more than friends. Though she would have been glad to have another woman around to speak with. While she enjoyed the peace and quiet of the house initially, she was starting to miss the sisterly friendship of Geraldine and Eunice.

  “I will have to make it a point to visit your home soon, then,” Isoline said as Talbot returned with the tea tray. “I am sure your wife would appreciate the company.”

  “Indeed!” he said, brightening even more, if it were possible. “She rarely gets out, between taking care of the girls and managing the home and helping me with sermons. The poor woman is run ragged, but I could not have asked for a better helpmate.”

  “You are truly blessed,” Isoline said.

  Talbot handed them both cups of tea and they sipped at them before continuing.

  “So, how are you adjusting to life in the country?” the vicar asked. “Must be terribly quiet to you.”

  Isoline nodded. “I quite welcomed it at first. My two elder brothers and their wives and their children all lived with my father and myself, so we had a rather lively home. The peace and quiet of Thornrush was a welcome respite. And I do so enjoy the company of my aunt. But, yes, I have been looking for something more to occupy my time lately.”

  “You should come to church this Sunday,” he said, leaping right into a conversation Isoline thought they would dance around for much longer. She nearly spilled her tea in surprise.

  “Oh! Well…you see, of course…” she stammered, but thankfully she was interrupted by the arrival of her aunt.

  “Vicar Edwards,” Bellamira said as she walked over and held out her hand. The vicar warmly squeezed both of his hands around hers and gave her a small bow in gre
eting. “Forgive me for making you wait,” she said as they all got comfortable again. “I trust my niece was taking good care of you.”

  “Of course!” he exclaimed. “She was just telling me how peaceful Thornrush Manor is.”

  Bellamira chuckled. “I am sure she is just being polite. For an old woman like me, it is perfect. But for a young woman…Well, let’s just say I can see her mind beginning to atrophy.”

  The three of them laughed together.

  “Now, auntie,” Isoline said. “That’s not exactly true. Have you seen my aunt’s art collection, vicar? It is brilliant! They have given me much to think about.”

  “I have seen some of them,” he said with a nod. “In fact, some of the pieces we have at the church and in the vicarage were donated by Lady Granville. Back when my father was the vicar here.”

  “Oh yes,” Bellamira said with a nod. “Your father was a frequent visitor here for many years. His passing was a great loss to the community.”

  “I feel I will never fill his shoes,” the vicar said solemnly.

  “When he spoke,” Bellamira said, “the whole building would shake! You could feel his words reverberate into the depths of your soul. Well, I can honestly say that I would not be the God-fearing woman I am today if not for him.”

  “I am glad to hear that,” the vicar said. “He wanted nothing more than to save the souls of those who would otherwise be damned.”

  Isoline nearly choked on her tea. “Vicar!” she said. “Surely my aunt didn’t have a…a damned soul.”

  “Oh!” he said, placing his hand to his heart. “My apologies, my dear! I didn’t mean to imply any such thing. Do forgive me. But anyone who knew my father, your aunt included, would understand my meaning. It was simply his style. Anyone who didn’t live up to his exacting standards.”

  “The Lord’s standards,” Bellamira added in.

  “Of course,” he said with a small nod, but Isoline thought he didn’t quite agree.

  “That must have been a difficult way to grow up,” Isoline said. “I can relate, on a certain level.”

  “I’m sure you can,” the vicar said. “There is a lot of pressure on young ladies to act a certain way and dress a certain way. So many rules, most of which are unspoken. Even my poor wife has to deal with such excruciating details. All the time she has to spend on clothes, and flowers, and notes, and the like. And she already has a husband! I dread the world my daughters will be growing up in, always scared to make the slightest mistake or risk not being able to marry just the right man at just the right time and have just the right wedding.” He shuddered as he shook his head.

  “Quite,” Isoline said, surprised to find such a sympathetic soul in a man.

  “I can agree that some of these new ‘social niceties’ that seem to have developed over the last couple of decades are extreme,” Bellamira said. “But when it comes to the rules He has laid down, they are a protection. They are the only way to guide the soul to Heaven.”

  “Of course,” the vicar said. “His Word is the only book of manners we truly need.” He and Isoline laughed, both wanting to lighten the conversation, but Bellamira seemed to not be finished quite yet.

  “Hell and damnation,” she said. “That is the only path for those who do not follow His laws.”

  “Now, Lady Granville,” the vicar said gently. “He is also a God of great forgiveness and compassion. We all make mistakes. I would rather welcome any into the flock with an open and contrite heart than drive out those who fall short.”

  “Your father would disagree,” Bellamira snapped. “Are you rejecting his legacy?”

  “I am grateful for all my father taught me,” he said with a surprising gentleness Isoline did not think she would have in his situation. “But he and I did not always see eye to eye on every interpretation. His was a God of vengeance; mine is a God of love.”

  Isoline had never been much of a religious person. She had gone to church every Sunday as she should when she was growing up and believed in God, but she was not obsessed with the Bible and religion overmuch. Instead of going home to read her Bible, she would leave it on the table untouched until the next Sunday, opting instead to read something rather unsuitable for a woman she had pinched from her brothers’ school satchel.

  But the way Vicar Edwards spoke of God in such a gentle and loving manner did appeal to her, and she was quite surprised by how irritating Bellamira seemed to find it. While she originally wanted to make an excuse about why she couldn’t visit the church, she now thought maybe she would enjoy it. Not so much for any religious discussion, but to make friends and have a mentally challenging discussion. If Vicar Edwards was this sympathetic and open-minded, his wife could be just the sort of companion she was looking for.

  “There is only one God,” Bellamira said firmly, her thin hands nearly shaking in anger. The vicar was no longer smiling and seemed to fidget in his seat.

  “Vicar Edwards,” Isoline broke in. “Earlier you invited me to church this Sunday. I think I should take you up on the offer.”

  He smiled and sighed in relief at Isoline’s words, and Isoline thought he was silently thanking her with his eyes.

  “I look forward to it, Miss Beresford,” he said as he stood. “I am afraid I have stayed much longer than I should. My wife will be anxious for my return to help take the children for an outing. Like little puppies, the lot of them. If they do not have their daily exercise, we all pay the price.”

  Isoline laughed at the vicar’s words and stood to escort him to the front door, squeezing his hand in friendship as he left.

  When she returned to the sitting room, Bellamira was standing at the mantel, looking into the fireplace as though lost in deep thought.

  “Auntie?” Isoline asked. “Would you care to accompany me to church on Sunday? I think the fresh air may be good for you.”

  Bellamira looked up at Isoline, and Isoline nearly gasped. Her aunt’s eyes looked dull and watery, as though she had aged many years in only the few moments she had been gone.

  “It is too late for me…for us…” Bellamira said as she left the room, walking slowly and carefully.

  Like an old woman.

  Isoline did not see her aunt for the rest of the day or the next morning before she left for church. She had to leave quite early since it took her about an hour to arrive, but the grooms who prepared the carriage and the coachman who agreed to accompany her did not grumble in the slightest and seemed almost pleased for an excuse to go to town. Even Bess donned her best outfit and eagerly agreed to accompany Isoline. They decided they would make a day of it, having luncheon wherever they could find it and then finally order Isoline some new dresses from a seamstress Bess was familiar with. Bellamira had been too out of sorts to discuss the financial matter of the clothes with Isoline, so Bess coordinated the discussion with Bellamira’s maid, thus saving Isoline from having to speak about money directly.

  It had been so long since Isoline had ridden in a carriage, she had nearly forgotten about the horrible accident until the horses pulling her aunt’s black carriage stopped in front of her as she waited on the stoop.

  Immediately, her heart started to race and she squeezed poor Bess’s hand until it was white.

  “Miss Isoline?” Bess asked gently. “Are you all right? I have some smelling salts.”

  Isoline nearly laughed, which helped calm her down. She had never considered herself to be the sort who needed to carry such a thing, but Bess was ready for any situation. She loosened her grip on Bess’s hand but did not let her go.

  “I…simply recalled that horrible accident I was in,” she said, shaking her head. “But I am glad you are here with me.”

  Bess smiled and patted Isoline’s hand. “Whatever you need, miss,” she said. “We are all here for you.”

  Isoline nodded, took a deep breath, and climbed into the carriage with Bess by her side.

  They arrived at the church without incident, and Isoline was thrilled to be able to take
in more of the countryside as they traveled. The road occasionally trailed close enough to the ocean they could see the waves, but usually they were surrounded on both sides with bright grass and tall trees. They passed several smaller estates and acres and acres of farmland. Cows and sheep and horses all watched with a distinct lack of interest as they rode by. The closer to town they got, the smaller the houses became and they appeared more often. Isoline was thrilled to see more people on the journey than she had seen in the months since her arrival at Thornrush. She didn’t realize just how much she craved human companionship. She decided that any amount of theological posturing she had to feint for a few minutes of cordial discussion with other parishioners before and after the sermon would be worth it.

  The churchyard was already crowded with people when she arrived. She saw the vicar along with several other men and women overseeing a dozen children who were getting their energy out before having to sit for the hour-long sermon. As soon as he saw her, he gave her a small wave, and then motioned to the woman next to him. They both came over to greet Isoline before her feet even touched the ground.

  “I am so glad to see you have made it,” he said as he shook her hand with a warm smile.

  “As am I,” she replied. “This is my maid, Bess.”

  “Yes, of course,” the vicar said, shaking Bess’s hand as well. He then presented his wife, placing his hand on her back as he introduced her. “This is my longsuffering wife, Beatrice.”

  She took Isoline’s hand in hers in a warm grasp not unlike her husband’s. “I am so sorry I was not able to meet you yesterday,” she said. “My husband had nothing but nice things to say of you.”

  “And he of you,” Isoline said. “And he made me feel so welcome, I simply had to come today.”

  “Well, we are thrilled to have a new member of the community,” she said.

  “Oww!” one of the children shrieked. “If you touch me again, I’ll…”

  “Excuse me!” Beatrice said as she rushed off to mediate an ensuing battle.