Return of the Thin Man: Two never-before-published novellas featuring Nick & Nora Charles

by Dashiell Hammett

  Nick: “I get it—it’s not a new rug.”

  Abrams: “Yeah, that’s one of the things I meant. I’ve got something else to show you—” He points to a corner of the room where there is a pile of old and battered iron pipe. “But the chief things that we found was that Pedro had the lock changed on the door only yesterday and all the fingerprints we found in here are his.”

  Nick walks to a window, raises it, and looks down the side of the cliff. He says: “A nice drop from here. Would I be guessing wrong if I said that this apartment was right over Polly’s?”

  Abrams: “No, I guess not.”

  Nick asks: “Well?”

  Abrams: “I don’t know, Mr. Charles, for a fact, but not putting a new rug in and only his fingerprints here makes it look to me like he was kind of using the place and not figuring on renting it.”

  Nick asks: “And you think he changed the lock so he couldn’t get in again to keep tenants out?”

  Abrams, patiently, as usual, says: “I told you there was something funny here. I told you I didn’t know what it was all about.”

  Nick: “Pedro was killed first. What are you picking on him for?”

  Abrams: “Do I know from nothing? If you can think of anything, play your string out.”

  Nick: “No hard feelings. Don’t take me too seriously. Suppose you were going to put a rug down, what would you do first?”

  Abrams: “I don’t know—I guess I’d get somebody to lug it upstairs.”

  Nick: “Swell. And then what?”

  Abrams: “Then you start at one end of the room and roll it across the floor.”

  Nick asks: “On top of this one?”

  Abrams scratches his head and says: “No, I guess not.”

  Nick: “All right—let’s take this one up first, then.”

  Abrams: “Okay. You take that corner and I’ll take this one.”

  Nick: “Who, me? Haven’t you got hired men downstairs?”

  Abrams. “Sure.” He goes outside the door and yells: “Hey, Francis —you and that other cutie who was trying to find a three-letter word for ape, come up here.”

  Nora in a hoarse whisper asks: “What is it, Nick?”

  Nick: “Do I know?” Men are dying all around and you ask me riddles.”

  There is a clumping on the stairs and the plainclothesman and the uniformed policeman who were working on the crossword puzzle come in.

  Abrams says to them: “You boys roll this three-letter word meaning rug down to the other end of a four-letter word meaning room.”

  They say “sure” very eagerly, push furniture out of the way, and start to roll the rug up. They roll it halfway when Nick says:

  “Maybe that’ll do for the time.” He walks over to a spot they have uncovered where six floor boards have been cut across in two places to make about a square foot. “Let’s look at this.”

  Abrams, followed by his two men, goes to the spot Nick has indicated. Abrams opens a pocketknife, puts the blade in, and the sawed boards come up in a section, leaving a foot-square hole. He looks down, then puts his hand in and brings up a pair of flat ear pieces on a steel band such as telephone operators wear, attached to a wire running down into the hole.

  Nick: “I suppose we know what this is. Send one of the boys downstairs to recite the alphabet in Polly’s place.”

  Abrams jerks a thumb at the plainclothesman and says: “Go ahead, Francis.”

  Francis goes out. Presently, from down below through the ear pieces comes Francis’s voice: “A,B,C,D,E—” A moment of hesitation, then: “A,B,C,D—”

  Nick: “Okay for sound. It was for listening in, all right.”

  Abrams: “Yeh, that’s that. What do you guess this Pedro was up to?”

  [Note: all thru this scene, Asta shows that he is very fond of David, ignoring both Nick and Nora in favor of him.]

  Nick: “Well, there’s still this junk to figure—” He turns toward the pile of iron pipe in the corner. Asta is busy chewing it. “Get away from the evidence, Asta.”

  Abrams: “He won’t be hurting it much—there was only Pedro’s fingerprints on it. What do you guess it was for? I couldn’t be thinking anybody would pipe gas through it.”

  Nick: “Why not? With a layout like this you can pipe gas in several directions at once.” He sits down on the floor and begins to screw sections of the pipe together.

  [This is actually a ladder, but he keeps the rungs sticking out in all directions and keeps it from being recognizable until suddenly when he puts the last piece on and turns it around.]

  Nick, holding the finished ladder up, says: “Fifty will get you two-fifty that it will just about reach to Polly’s window below, with this piece left over—” he picks up an extra part from the floor “for good measure when he got there.”

  He takes the ladder to window, lowers it, and hangs it on the sill. It reaches exactly to the sill of Polly’s apartment below.

  Abrams: “What do you guess he wanted to do that for?”

  Francis sticks his head in the door and says: “We got Byrnes. Do you want her up? And we got Dancer and Lum Kee, too.”

  Abrams looks at Nick and asks: “Will they clutter it up for you? Do you think you got as much out of this place as you want?”

  Nick: “The more the merrier. Perhaps not as much as I want, but as much as I think I’m going to get.”

  Nick asks Abrams: “What kind of clothes did you find in the place?”

  Abrams: “None—not a stitch. Nothing to show anybody ever lived here. That’s why I told you I don’t believe anybody ever did.”

  Nick asks: “Where does that fit in? Do you think Pedro was using the place himself—spying on the people downstairs? He’s killed first and, half a day later, Robert Landis, who visits downstairs, is killed and the next day, the brother or husband or something of the gal he visits is killed. How are you going to blame all that on Pedro?”

  Abrams, wearily: “Mr. Charles, how many times have I told you there was something funny here I don’t understand; and some hanky-pank about the checks I don’t understand? Did I ever pretend I knew what all this led to?”

  Nick: “Oh, yes—about the checks. We’ve got to ask these people about them when they come upstairs and maybe they won’t want to say right out. What would be wrong with getting Mrs. Landis over so we’d have her here to chuck at them if they think we’re fooling?”

  Abrams: “I don’t know, the D.A.’s kind of—”

  Nick: “What—with a police escort?”

  Abrams: “Okay—I’ll send for her.”

  Nick: “God will reward you.”

  Three policemen, one in uniform, bring in Polly, Dancer, and Lum Kee.

  Abrams: “Francis, phone the Hall and tell them to bring up Mrs. Landis.”

  Francis goes to the phone.

  Nick, aside to Abrams: “Maybe they don’t know. Throw it hard enough to bounce.”

  Abrams says to Nick: “Okay.” Turns to Polly: “Your husband was killed this afternoon. What do you know about it?”

  Polly: “I—what?”

  Abrams, to Dancer: “Her husband was killed this afternoon.”

  Dancer: “Her what?”

  Abrams: “Cut it out! We’re not playing charades.”

  They look at him blankly.

  Abrams, counting out syllables on his fingers, says: “Pol-ly had a hus-band named Phil e-ven if he was sup-posed to be her bro-ther and he was found dead on Turk Street this af-ter-noon.”

  Polly and Dancer turn to face each other at the same moment, exclaiming simultaneously: “You—!!!” and then breaking off as they realize each is saying the same thing.

  Abrams: “You—you—you what?”

  Neither of them says anything.

  Nick says to Abrams: “Simple enough—she started to accuse him of killing Phil because he found out he was her husband and he started to accuse her of double-crossing him by not telling him Phil was her husband.”

  Abrams says to Polly: “He was your h
usband, wasn’t he? Married three years ago in Topeka?”

  She nods, glancing sidewise at Dancer. “But I didn’t want to have any more to do with him and so when he showed up last week I didn’t say anything about it.”

  Abrams: “What did he go to the pen for?”

  Polly: “Blackmail.”

  Abrams: “And what did he have on you that he was hanging around shaking you down for?”

  Polly, hesitantly: “Well, he knew about me and Robert and I didn’t want Robert to find out I was married and then I was kind of sorry for Phil. He was broke and had come out of the pen with bad lungs.”

  Abrams: “And why did you keep it from Dancer?”

  Polly: “It was nobody else’s business and a girl in this racket gets along better without people knowing about things like that.”

  Abrams: “You didn’t know Dancer found out about it, did you?”

  Polly: “Not until—” and breaks off with a frightened look at Dancer.

  Abrams: “Go ahead—not until what?”

  Dancer: “I never found out about it up to now.” Then to Polly: “I wish I had, baby.”

  Abrams says to Dancer: “Stick your mouth out of this until you get your invitation. You’ll get it.” Then to Polly: “And now you think he killed Phil because he found out?”

  Polly stammers: “No—I don’t—I—”

  Abrams breaks in very sharply: “Isn’t it the truth, sister, that you and this husband of yours were working together on Robert Landis and something went wrong and you had to kill him?”

  Polly shakes her head and says: “No.”

  Abrams, paying no attention to her answer: “And then isn’t it just as true that Dancer found out about it and killed Phil?”

  Dancer interrupts again: “Listen, I never found out about it till I come to this room.”

  Abrams: “Whenever you found out about it, what do you think now—don’t you think they were double-crossing you?”

  Dancer shrugs and says: “Maybe I do, now, but I didn’t know anything about it till you told me.”

  Abrams asks him: “Do you think Phil tried to stick Landis up and had to kill him?”

  Dancer replies contemptuously: “I don’t know what a punk like that would do.”

  Abrams’s manner has become increasingly irritable through this scene so that when, as he starts to ask Dancer: “Now do you—” and Nick interrupts him by saying: “Let’s go into the check business—” Abrams turns around and says, sharply for him: “Who’s doing this?”

  Nick says very mildly: “It’s hardly ever been my party. Come on, Nora.”

  Abrams says very earnestly: “Aw listen, Mr. Charles, I’m not getting any rest out of this at all and I’m kind of jumpy. What were you going to say?”

  Nick: “I thought I said it—about those forgeries?”

  Dancer says to Nick: “I’ve put up with your gum-heeling for a day or two, but I got a business to run. I better be down there running it than barbering here with you. Why don’t the two of us just go out in the hall and see who smacks who in the nose and call it square?”

  Nick: “No, let’s do it the hard way. The ten-grand check Landis is supposed to have given Polly is a forgery.”

  Dancer: “So what’s it to me?”

  Nick: “The signature was traced from one of the other checks he gave her.”

  Dancer: “I’m still asking you—what’s that to me?”

  Nick: “Maybe Polly can answer that.” He asks her: “Did you do the tracing or did he?”

  While Polly is hesitating, Dancer says very distinctly: “I told you before, I don’t know anything about that check. Whatever was between Landis and Polly was between them.”

  Nick says to Polly: “You were right—they are letting you hold the bag.” Before Polly can answer, Dancer, addressing Nick, but talking for Polly’s benefit, asks: “What bag? This check you’re talking about—has anybody tried to pass it yet? What kind of charge have you got against her until she does?”

  Nick and Abrams look at each other and Abrams says: “Wise guy.” Then to Polly: “Come on, answer that question now.”

  Polly says hesitantly: “Well, I don’t know—I—” and breaks off, looking all the time at Dancer, hoping for a cue.

  Dancer says nothing and gives Polly no sign.

  Polly: “Honestly, Lieutenant Abrams, I don’t think that check is a forgery.”

  Abrams asks: “Where did you get it?”

  Polly: “Well, I—” and breaks off again.

  Abrams: “What are you covering this lug up for, sister?” He takes the note David had given him out of his pocket and shows it to her, saying: “See, he had already found out Phil was your husband.”

  Polly reads the note and her eyes widen. She looks at Dancer.

  Dancer: “If you’re helping to frame me, Polly, okay; I’ll have to figure out what I do about that. But if you haven’t made a dicker for yourself with the police, I don’t see where you’ll be getting anywhere just running off at the head for the fun of it.”

  Abrams starts toward Dancer, saying angrily: “Listen, you—”

  The door opens and Caspar comes in. He bows very formally to everybody in the room, then says to Dancer: “I just heard a moment ago.” Then very pompously, to Abrams: “Lieutenant, I cannot permit you to—”

  Abrams turns to Nick and groans: “Now look—we got this five-and-ten-cent-store Darrow with us again.”

  Caspar says to Nick: “Good evening, Mr. Charles.”

  Nick bows, buttoning up his coat and patting his pockets to see if he’s lost anything.

  Caspar goes over to Dancer, puts a hand on his shoulder, and says: “My dear boy—I’m entirely at your service.”

  Dancer shakes the hand off his shoulder and snarls: “You ought to be—for the dough you charge me.”

  Caspar tries to smile as if he thought Dancer were joking. He asks Lum Kee: “What are these policemen doing now?”

  Lum Kee, bland as usual, says: “Trouble, trouble—they want to see us—we go—why not? They police, we innocent, you betcha.”

  Abrams growls: “Aw, cut it out. Hold your conferences on your own time. We’ve got work to do. Has anybody here ever been in this apartment before?”

  Some of those there say “No,” some shake their heads.

  Abrams looks questioningly at Nick. Nick says: “Perhaps Polly could help us if we told her what it’s all about.”

  Polly: “What?”

  Nick: “You know this place is right over yours?”

  Polly: “Yes.”

  Nick, indicating the ear pieces: “With that dingus you can hear a pin drop in your place.” She stares at the ear pieces in surprise. Nick goes on. “And if you’ll go to the window, you’ll see a ladder running down to your window.” She goes to the window, looks at the ladder, then turns back to Nick, still more bewildered. Nick picks up the extra piece of pipe and says: “And nobody’s head would be helped much by being patted with this.”

  Polly: “But I don’t understand—”

  Nick, looking at Dancer and Lum Kee, says: “Is there anybody here that does understand?”

  Dancer looks sullenly at him but doesn’t say anything.

  Lum Kee says cheerfully: “We run restaurant—you detective.”

  Nick, to Polly: “Even if you don’t understand, who can you think of that would have this much interest in you?” hefting the pipe in his hand.

  Polly: “Nobody.”

  Nick: “Phil had a key to your apartment. Has Dancer?”

  Before she can reply, Dancer takes a key out of his pocket and tosses it on the floor, saying: “Yes. So what would I need that trick ladder for?”

  Nick asks: “Has Lum Kee?”

  Polly: “No. of course not.”

  Nick: “Who else?”

  Polly: “Nobody.”

  Nick: “Did Robert have one?”

  Polly: “No. What do you think I did, put them around under doors?”

  A policeman opens
the door and Selma comes in. She and Nora immediately run to each other, uttering exclamations of affection.

  David exclaims: “Selma,” and goes over to them asking, “are you all right, dear?”

  She exclaims: “David!” and holding out her hands to him, she starts to ask him a question. “Did you—” and then breaks off, glancing nervously at Lieutenant Abrams. “Oh, it’s been terrible,” she tells Nora and David.

  Nora: “I know, dear, but it’ll soon be over. Nick will have everything cleared up in no time. He’s wonderful.”

  Nick: “Nice of you to say so, darling.” He goes over to greet Selma.

  Selma: “Oh Nick, I’m so grateful to you. Have you really—?”

  Nick: “Now don’t start asking us questions. The game is for us to ask you. Have you ever seen any of these people before?” indicating in turn, Polly, Dancer, and Lum Kee.

  To each Selma replies “No.”

  Nick asks: “Have you ever been in this building before?”

  Selma: “No.”

  Nick: “Did you know that Robert and Miss Byrnes were friends?”

  Selma: “No.”

  Nick: “All right. Now this next question you’ve answered before, but the police weren’t altogether satisfied with the way you answered it. I want you to remember that Robert’s dead, so whatever you say isn’t going to hurt him though it may help us find his murderer and get you out of this mess.”

  Selma: “What is it, Nick?”

  Nick: “That $10,000 check of yours that was deposited in Robert’s account. Did you or didn’t you write it?”

  Selma hesitates, looks from Nick to Abrams then down to the floor, and in a very low voice, says: “I didn’t.”

  Abrams, who has been a very interested listener up to this point, now takes his hat off and throws it angrily on the floor. But when he crosses to confront Selma, his voice and manner are more hurt than angry. He asks: “Why couldn’t you have told us that before? Whatever got into you to—” He breaks off as her lips begin to tremble, and grabs a chair, saying: “Now, now, sit down, Mrs. Landis, be comfortable. One of you boys get Mrs. Landis a glass of water.” Then again to her: “Now, now, maybe there’s not a great deal of harm done anyhow.” Then aside to Nick, as she sits down: “If this dame gets hysterical again I’ll go nuts.”

  Selma: “Thank you. I’m quite all right.”