A Little Harmless Faith

by Melissa Schroeder

  “Mainly because you are my VP in charge of acquisitions and you wanted to come, remember? Or have you forgotten your push to have some time in Hawaii? Take the rest of the week to enjoy the island. Fly to one of the other islands.”

  “Sorry,” he said rubbing his temples. “I can’t seem to get used to island time.”

  “Sure. Well, I’m off to the airport. Do you need a ride over?”

  “No. I think I’ll take your advice and spend some time enjoying this island first.”

  “Good. Let me know if any of the Johnson family contacts you early.”

  “Of course.”

  With that, he pulled out his phone and started getting everything ready to head back to Oahu.

  Nicola took a sip of her yummy lava flow and looked out over the rooms in Rough ‘n Ready. One of the things she loved about the club was the ability to see some of the play rooms. The private rooms were even better, although she hadn’t been able to use them. At least tonight she knew she was free. Jensen wasn’t coming back until tomorrow and she had wanted to see her friend’s club.

  “I see that my wife made your favorite drink of the islands,” Micah said, having to lean down closer for her to hear.

  She smiled at him and motioned with her finger so that he would bend down a little.

  “Your wife makes the best damn lava flow.”

  “I thought you would play tonight, given the outfit.”

  She shook her head. “Not really in the mood.” The outfit was another matter. It wasn’t even that, but she wore a mask. There was no need for her to be accidentally recognized there. Granted, she normally wouldn’t excite most people, but if it were to get back to Jensen, she would never hear the end of it.

  Truth was, it had been a long time since she’d been in the mood. Probably when they went to Tokyo last year.

  “Is there something wrong?”

  One of the great things about having Micah as her first Dom was that he was so intuitive. He knew just how far to push her. It was also one of the most irritating things now that they were just friends.

  She shrugged. “Nothing wrong. I’ve just been out of sorts lately.”

  None of her friends in the life intrigued her anymore. Worse, she was comparing them to Jensen, or at least what she imagined Jensen’s behavior as a Dom would be. After her talk with Serenity the other night, her worries had increased. If this wasn’t just some kind of funk, what would she do?

  “Can I give you some friendly advice?”

  “Can I stop you?”

  His lips twitched. “Stop ignoring your instincts.”

  “What the bloody hell do you mean by that?”

  He shook his head. “I taught you well. Figure it out yourself, Nic.”

  Without another word, he turned and sauntered off. She cherished her friendship with Micah, but sometimes he was a real pain in the ass.

  Jensen had planned on going home, but when he found out that Nicola wasn’t there, he decided to head over to Rough ‘n Ready. He stepped into the club, which was packed. It was spring break, or so more than one person had told him, and it meant a crowded gathering. The fact that there was going to be a demonstration tonight by well-known Domme Heather D made the crush even worse. He had gotten to the main platform when he noticed Micah making a beeline his way.

  “How’s tricks?” Micah asked.

  He shrugged. “Got back from Maui early, so I thought I would come in.”

  But now that he was there, he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t even feel like looking for a sub. What he wanted to know was where the hell was Nicola? All he was told was that she was out. Probably with Serenity. Still, when he called her phone, she hadn’t answered and that worried him.

  “Earth to Jensen,” Micah said.

  He blinked. “Sorry. Obsessing over something at the moment.”

  Micah smiled. “Why not come up to the office?”

  Without the burning need to find a sub, Jensen went along with him. He had never been invited into the inner sanctum, but he had heard about it. It wasn’t that it was overly special, but he knew that Micah rarely invited patrons up to the room.

  He followed the club owner up the stairs, then into the office. One wall was a floor-to-ceiling window, allowing a full view of the club. The wall next to that held a bank of screens showing all the public areas of the club.

  “You know, I had the same issue you have right now.”

  He turned. “What the bloody hell does that mean?”

  “You seem to be hung up on a woman.”

  He made a face and turned back to the bank of screens. The fact that he thought Micah might be right worried Jensen. It didn’t mean he had to admit it. “Not sure what you’re talking about.”

  “Hmm, preoccupied, can’t find a sub to satisfy your needs.”

  At that moment, he caught sight of a woman dressed in black. There was something about the way she made her way through the crowd that caught his interest. Her sassy ponytail swayed with each step, and there was something so graceful and familiar.

  “Who is that?”

  Micah walked up behind him.

  “Ah, that’s Kitty.”

  He glanced at Micah. “Kitty?”

  “That’s what she goes by when she’s here. Kitty Cat.”

  He turned back and found her easily again. When she turned to face the camera, he noticed she was wearing a mask. Not that odd; although, it was more like something Cat Woman would wear and not the usual thing someone would wear to a BDSM club. The black latex pants and vest definitely fit the persona.

  Beyond that, it had been months since a woman had captured his attention. The familiar heat speed through his blood.

  “Is something wrong?” Micah asked.

  “I feel like I know her.”

  “Hmm, not sure if you’ve ever been here together.”

  There was something in Micah’s voice that caught his attention.

  “You know who she is.”

  “Of course. She’s a member of the club.”

  “Who is she?”

  “I cannot reveal that.”

  Frustrated and irritated, he turned on the club owner. “What the bloody hell does that mean?”

  “It means that I agreed to keep her identity a secret.”

  His gaze moved to the screen and Jensen followed his line of vision. She was making her way to the door, and he was going to lose her. Without saying a word, he rushed out the door and down the stairs. He had to catch her before she left.

  He’d gotten close enough to see her again. Jensen continued to push his way through the crowd to get closer. Then he got a bit of a break. She stopped and set her glass on the bar and said something that made Dee, Micah’s wife, laugh. The woman turned her head just enough that he could see her eyes—and he stopped in his tracks.

  Ice-blue and cold as ice.

  He had only seen that particular shade on one other person in his life. His world turned topsy-turvy. Pursuing her wasn’t important now because he knew exactly where she was going to be spending her night.

  Instead, he stood in the middle of Rough ‘n Ready as his world fractured into a million pieces.

  “I take it from the look on your face you know who she is,” Micah said.

  He kept his gaze glued to her until she walked out of the club. Then he turned to Micah. “Yes. And I want to know how long you’ve known her.”

  He sighed. “Let’s go back to the office and I’ll tell you what I can.”

  8

  Anger and irritation bubbled just beneath Jensen’s flesh. As he followed Micah back up the stairs, he flexed his hands over and over. It was one of his ways of dealing with stress. He wanted a fix. Anything, even just a shot of whisky would work. It was the first time in years he craved the oblivion that only alcohol or drugs could bring him. His entire body seemed to pulse with the need to get high.

  No. It wasn’t that. This was different. It wasn’t the slightly sick feeling he had when he needed a fix. T
he anger was there, but there was also a bit of excitement. It was Nicola and the secret she had kept from him.

  “Take a seat,” Micah said.

  Jensen continued to pace and ignore him. What the fuck did she think she was doing? Lying to him…making him think that she knew very little about the life. Of course, she did suggest it to him when he was having issues while she was his sober companion.

  It might help you with your control issues. From what I understand, you would be in complete control of the situation unlike in regular life.

  Of course, she knew that. She was in the life. Worse, the fact that she could read him so well infuriated him.

  “Wulf, sit down.” This time he used a voice that was definitely not his easy-going club owner voice.

  Jensen stopped and sat in the chair in front of the desk.

  “I can’t reveal everything about Kitty.”

  “Nicola.”

  “Here, she’s known as Kitty. I can tell you we’ve been friends for about six years.”

  “Six years?”

  He nodded. “She always wanted to keep the friendship a secret. Her choice not mine. Beyond the fact that she is indeed a submissive, I really don’t feel right about revealing anything else. You need to talk to her.”

  “Bloody hell,” he said as he pushed a hand through his hair. When he brought it down, he realized it was shaking. Anger was replaced with confusion. “I can’t believe she did this and kept it from me.”

  “It wasn’t any of your business.”

  He frowned at the club owner. “The hell it isn’t. She’s my…assistant.”

  Micah leaned back in his chair, a small smile curving his lips. “That’s it? Your assistant? I have a hard time believing that’s all she is to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re mighty upset over her being a member of this club.”

  “And?” he asked in a tone that was just a bit defensive.

  “You need to ask yourself what it means for the two of you. It will change your relationship since you’re attracted to her.”

  “Bullocks.”

  “Really? Because you’ve come in here twice since you’ve been back on the island. Haven’t even picked up a sub. Dawn and Donna were in here asking about you tonight. And let me guess, you aren’t even interested?”

  He didn’t answer the question because he couldn’t lie. He’d had a great time with both women last time he had been on the island. Now…nothing. Not one ounce of interest for either woman. And it didn’t make sense. They were both amazing subs who liked to push their limits. He had anticipated seeing them again.

  “I suspected as much.” Micah leaned forward. “Listen, I was in the same position as you a few years ago. It will be much easier for you and everyone else around you if you just give in.”

  “There are issues. She works for me.”

  He grinned. “Yeah, that was one of my issues too.”

  It was then Jensen knew Micah was talking about his wife.

  “I’m not marriage material.”

  “I didn’t say it would end in marriage, but if you want her this much, you might want to step over that line. It might be good for both of you.”

  “I highly doubt that.”

  “Still, you will have to deal with the situation. Letting it go will just cause even more problems.”

  “Fine.”

  “Are you going home now?”

  “Yes,” he said, suddenly feeling tired. “I need a good night’s rest.”

  “Better to deal with it in the morning.”

  He didn’t know if he could wait until the morning, but he decided not to argue with Micah. Jensen wasn’t in the mood for more advice.

  He made his way out of the club and texted John. It only took a couple minutes for his driver to arrive out front.

  “Short night, sir,” he remarked.

  “Too tired and not interested at the moment. Let’s make our way home, John.”

  Jensen slipped into the car.

  “Of course,” he said, shutting the door.

  As they drove home, John didn’t try to talk. A sign of a good driver. He knew when Jensen didn’t want to talk.

  Instead, he opened his window letting the cool Hawaiian night air drift over him. He had to deal with Nicola and this lie between them. He knew he didn’t have a right to know everything about her life. She was his employee, like John. He had no idea what kind of woman John liked, or if he even liked women. Nicola was different than John, than anyone else in his life. She’d made sure he didn’t step over that line, and the one time he did, she was there to help him through the recovery. Why hadn’t she told him? She hadn’t shared this part of her life, as if he wasn’t good enough to know about it.

  Nicola was secretive about only one thing: her last few years of skating and her relationship with Oliver. Or at least, he thought there was only one thing. She had been a submissive longer than he had been a Dom. That was why she knew it would be good for him and his control issues.

  And why was she a sub? He would think she would make an excellent Domme. Hell, the woman liked to control everything in her life—and his. If anything, he knew it originated with that Oliver chap. Something had been off there, but since she wouldn’t talk about those last few years, he never asked.

  How was he going to deal with this? They would have to talk about it. He couldn’t hint because she would divert any discussion of her love life with sarcasm. He would be forced to confront her. They might not ever have a D/s relationship…

  Fuck, that wasn’t true. He had wanted her before, craved her in fact. Now, it was going to be hard to resist at least one session with her. Hell, he was getting hard just thinking about it. It was wrong, and he didn’t believe in shagging their employees. Still, this was different. They were different. It was complicated and there was nothing he could do to fix the issue. If she said no, he would go with her decision.

  But at the moment, he wanted one thing: Nicola under his control and at his mercy.

  A soft breeze filtered over Nicola just as she was waking up. She could smell the sea and flowers. She drew in a huge breath, then released it as she took stock of her body. Her head was clear. Just one drink these days was enough to make her sleepy, and that was why she had used a taxi service for her trip into Honolulu. Still, she felt great.

  She opened her eyes and realized the sun had already risen over the horizon. For the first time in a long time, she dawdled in bed. Usually she was up and going right off the bat, but with Jensen still in Maui, she had little to do today.

  She thought about last night. It had been fun to see Micah’s club, but she’d hoped to make a connection, even if only for a night. But no Dom had interested her. She’d walked into that club and instantly started coming up with excuses why none of them would suit. Even as Micah had suggested one or two of them, she had reasons why the Dom was wrong for her. Too tall, too dark, too…American. So, she’d headed to the bar for a drink, knowing that kept her from playing for the night.

  There was a knock at the door and she thought it would be Marta.

  She pulled her covers up over her bare breasts, since she’d only slept in her panties.

  “Come in.”

  When the door opened, she was shocked to see Jensen there. He was still wearing his blue silk robe and pajama pants, but his chest was bare. She tried not to notice the thin line of hair that bisected his abs, then disappeared beneath the waistband of his pajamas.

  “Nicola?”

  She forced herself to look up at his face. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came home last night.”

  She blinked. “You weren’t here when I got home for the evening.”

  “No.” His mouth curved. “I stopped off at Rough ’n Ready.”

  For a moment, her brain shut down. He was at Rough ‘n Ready? Shit. She cleared her throat.

  “Is that a fact? Did you have a good time?”

  Until then, he had st
ood near her door, but now he walked into the room. His bare feet made no noise as he padded across the wood floor.

  “I did, in a way.”

  Her heart sank. And why should that happen? If he was occupied with another sub, she could get on with her search for a new Dom to play with.

  “You found a sub to play with?”

  “I guess you could say that, although I didn’t get to talk to her.”

  Jensen settled down on her bed and smiled at her. She frowned. He was acting odd, even for him. He might come into her room, but he had never invaded her space this way.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Micah let me into his office last night. I got to see the whole club, and I saw one woman who particularly intrigued me.”

  She sat mute as he inched closer. She could smell the familiar scent of his favorite aftershave. It wasn’t overpowering.

  “Do you want to know what intrigued me?”

  She shrugged, then after a moment nodded.

  “First, it was the outfit she was wearing. She was dressed in black latex and wore a mask. Then, it was the way she moved. Very elegant. And I know only one woman who moves that way, mainly because she spent most of her life on the ice.”

  The bottom dropped out of her stomach. He had seen her and known it was her.

  “Are you insane?”

  “Maybe,” he said.

  “That was not me.” Did Micah rat her out? She was going to read him the riot act if he did. Then she would tell Dee, who scared Micah more than Nicola ever could.

  His eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”

  “How do you know it was me just by the way I move?”

  “I’ve known you up close and personal for four years, Nicola, I know how you move. I have also watched some of your old performances.”

  She blinked, surprised by that answer. “You’ve watched my old skating videos?”

  He didn’t move his gaze from hers as he nodded. “But that wasn’t all I saw.”

  Nicola waited as he moved closer. The way he kept invading her space irritated her. “Stop that.”

  “Stop what?” he asked, his voice playful.