Kiss & Makeup: Beauty Secrets Mystery Book 2

by Stephanie Damore

  “Don’t give him any ideas. Then Vince had a puppy delivered for them, thinking it would bring them closer together.”

  “And it didn’t?”

  “Hardly. Amelia was mad that he’s a boy, so she dyed him pink, and then Arjun was mad that he was pink so he drew on the eyebrows to make him look fierce.”

  “Oh boy.”

  “Meanwhile, Vince never ran any of it by me and I’m terribly allergic.” Aria sneezed right on cue. I could relate to the allergies. Flowers were my usual trigger. Spring time was brutal for me.

  “To top it all off, the hotel called this morning and someone pulled the fire alarm at last night’s wedding. The ballroom has water damage, and who knows if it’ll be fixed by Friday.” She sobbed again.

  Okay, that was all pretty rough. I tried to decide whose day had been worse—mine or hers?

  “But at least you didn’t kill anyone,” I said with a half-smile.

  Aria stopped crying. “Wait, What?!”

  “Okay, so I didn’t kill anyone, but I may have poisoned the mayor, or make that Mrs. J. did.” I went on to explain the whole cupcake catastrophe.

  “After all that, it looks like Justine struck again, with my clients breaking out in horrible rashes. So yeah, that was a disaster. Just wait until my mom hears. She’ll need a Xanax. Dad will be disappointed he missed it all.”

  At least Aria had finally stopped crying.

  “So, now what are we going to do?” I asked.

  Spoke too soon. The tears threatened to spill out of Aria’s eyes again.

  “Don’t do it, girl. I’m serious.” I thought we were past the crying.

  “I can’t keep Captain Jack,” she said.

  “Who?”

  Aria pointed to the pink puppy, who had just peed on my floor mat and was now chewing on my Converses.

  “I don’t want to take him to the shelter. He’s such a sweetheart. None of this is his fault.”

  “Okay, leave the fluff ball with me and I’ll find him a home.” I sounded more confident than I felt. I was getting good at doing that lately. “Don’t worry about your reception yet. Let’s give them a day to clean up, and then we’ll go check it out.”

  “Christina already has a list of alternate venues.”

  “Of course, she does.” Don’t roll your eyes. I gave my bestie a tight hug and promised her that it would all get sorted out. It might take a family therapist and a trip to Disney World to help with the kids, but in the end, it would all work out. Aria and Vince loved each other too much to not find a way.

  Aria left and I looked over at Captain Jack. Poor little guy. He started walking around in a circle and I was a second too late to realize he was about to take a poo. Yuck. Okay, time to reorder my priorities. I picked up the pooch. “First up, find a nice home for you, cutie pie. Then go beat the beans out of Justine.”

  Turned out, I didn’t have to reorder my priorities. I hated Justine, but she did love her puppies, and they seemed to love her. I hoped we could make a deal.

  Justine Martin had been married too many times to keep count. It was somewhere around six or seven, if I cared to think about it at all. She had made a habit out of marrying well, and therefore, had accumulated enough wealth to be an official royal pain in the butt.

  I was big enough to admit that her red brick, colonial, two-story house with its circle driveway and plethora of windows was beautiful, although completely impractical for a single woman living alone. Her kitchen might have more square footage than my entire apartment, but I was betting all those empty bedrooms made it awfully lonely. I’d take my quaint little space any day.

  I rang her bell and Captain Jack and I waited for her to answer. Not even two seconds later, a man wearing a tan vest with Bermuda shorts answered the door. I took a step back to look at the address again. I was at the right house. Maybe Justine married again?

  “Hi, I’m looking for Justine. Is she home?”

  “Miss Justine has requested not to be disturbed this afternoon.”

  Miss Justine? I almost snorted. “Who are you?”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am Withers. If you’ll so kindly tell me your name, I will let the lady of the house know that you were here.”

  Lady of the house? Pshaw. More like lady of the night, and when did Justine get a butler?

  “So, what, is your boss lady too scared to come to the door?” I tried to look past him into the house, but didn’t see anything. Withers closed the door and stepped out onto the porch, causing Captain Jack and me to take a step back.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re going to have to leave.”

  “Aw, now don’t be like that. Look, I even brought an adorable little puppy.” I held up Captain Jack. Okay, so he looked a little ridiculous with the pink fur and black eye brows, but under all that, he was a total cutie. Withers didn’t look impressed.

  I debated for a second what to do. I could just hand Captain Jack to Withers and jump in my truck and take off. I knew Justine was an animal lover, but I got the feeling Withers wasn’t. For all I knew, he’d call the pound and have them come get Captain Jack without saying a word to Justine, seeing that she didn’t want to be disturbed and all. Or worse, he could just leave Captain Jack on the porch. It would’ve been great if Justine had answered the door and I could’ve made a deal. Something like: you publicly admit your wrongdoing today and apologize to all my customers, and in return I’ll give you this adorable puppy. That was my original plan. Now I was standing in front of Mr. Grumpy Gus, going nowhere fast.

  I stared at Withers, trying to get a better read on him. “Any way you can take this little guy to Justine and ask her to come to the door?”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. Not today. Now, if you will...” Withers took another step forward. I took another step back. “Thank you. Have a nice day.” Withers dismissed us and went back inside.

  “Well that didn’t work,” I said to Captain Jack.

  Now it was on to Plan B.

  8

  Captain Jack and I did a little shopping before heading to see my parents. I had no idea what type of food he ate or what toys he liked, so we bought an assortment of goodies. Turned out, puppy shopping was kind of fun. It wasn’t the same as shoe shopping, but didn’t cost as much either. Captain Jack even got a peanut butter biscuit for being a good boy, to go with my peanut butter cup. We both deserved a treat. The only thing better than chocolate was peanut butter with chocolate.

  My dad was where I knew I’d find him, sitting in his spot, watching “the game” when I walked in. It was the same place you’d find him every Sunday afternoon. My mom met the girls for brunch, and my dad got to veg out in front of the TV in peace and quiet. Talk about relationship goals. Finn was a Sports Center fan himself.

  “Hi, Papa.” I greeted my dad with a kiss on the cheek and placed Captain Jack in his lap. He didn’t even flinch, just started petting the pup’s head. Not sure if it was a testament to his laid-back attitude or a lifetime of my shenanigans, but even a pink poodle didn’t faze him.

  “Heard you tried to kill the mayor,” my dad said nonchalantly.

  “Ah, that was quick. What did Mom say?”

  “She went to church.”

  “Sounds about right. For the record, I didn’t try to kill him. It was Mrs. J.’s cupcake that did it. By the way, you haven’t seen her, have you? She took off without talking to the police.” My dad laughed. “Dad, seriously, you don’t think Mrs. J. would kill someone, do you?”

  “Not on purpose.”

  “Not even Paulette?”

  “Not even her. Mrs. J.’s bark is worse than her bite. Kind of like this little guy here.”

  “Captain Jack,” I stated. “Vince got him for the kids, but Aria’s allergic. I’m looking for a home for him. I was hoping you could puppy sit. I’ve got bingo tonight.” I could’ve totally skipped it, but I was hoping Mrs. J. would show and I could find out what in the world she was thinking.

  “You know I don’t mind. Y
our mom’s going to have a fit though.”

  I smiled and inched toward the door. “Which is why I’m outta here. Just tell her I’ll be back in a couple hours. I left a can of food on the counter for him. Oh, and watch out for when he does the circle thing. Love you.”

  “Honey!” I heard my dad call as I slipped out the door.

  With Captain Jack taken care of, I was able to run a quick errand before heading over to First Baptist. I couldn’t get Mayor Potts out of my mind, seeing him pass out like that this morning left an icky feeling in my stomach. I was hoping to pop up to the hospital and see how he was doing. Maybe even poke my head in and apologize, even though I did nothing wrong.

  I must’ve been awfully worried about the mayor because the only thing I hated worse than crying, was hospitals. Truth be told, it wasn’t just concern that dragged me there, but also the thought that maybe Mrs. J. was somehow responsible. I know I had defended Mrs. J. in public, but truthfully, I was having second thoughts. Was it possible this could all just be a horrible accident? Mrs. J. was getting up there in years. I knew her vision wasn’t as great as it used to be, just watching her squint to read my Beauty Secrets catalogs told me that. Maybe she mistook cyanide for sugar? I had to admit it was a possibility. Her going MIA like this morning wasn’t helping either. She had better show up for bingo.

  I was still thinking about Mrs. J. when I walked into the hospital waiting area and saw Suzanne Butterfield sitting there. She paced in front of the fish tank, staring off into space, until she saw me.

  “Oh, hi Ziva.”

  I stopped, taken back that—one, she knew me; and two, she was being nice.

  “Are you here for Mayor Potts?” I asked.

  “I am. He and I are good friends. I’ve been worried about him all afternoon. I couldn’t sit around the house waiting any longer.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about him too.”

  “What happened? I just saw him on the ground.”

  “You know, one minute he was eating and then the next, BAM, passed out.”

  “It’s that horrible Birdie Jackson. This is all her fault!” Suzanne started pacing again. “I told the detective how much she hated Paulette, and now she’s gone after the mayor. They need to lock her up before she hurts anyone else.”

  I knew Suzanne was no friend of Mrs. J.’s, so it didn’t surprise me that she felt this way. “Have you heard anything? Maybe this has nothing to do with Mrs. J.” Like, maybe the mayor had a bad heart or a heat stroke. The guy was always wearing suits and bow ties in ninety-degree weather. Not the smartest wardrobe choice, in my opinion.

  “Oh, there’s Maryanne now.” Suzanne rushed over to her. I hung back. I had no idea who Maryanne was, but my guess was she was family, maybe Mayor Pott’s daughter or niece.

  The two women had an animated conversation, Suzanne’s loud voice making it easy to eavesdrop. “No! Poisoned? The same as Paulette? I knew it!” she exclaimed.

  Suzanne rounded on me and I braced for her to let me have it. After all, I was friends with Mrs. J. and had given Mr. Potts the cupcake. I held out hope that there was some sort of crazy coincidence going on.

  Suzanne totally deflated and practically fell into my arms.

  Oomph. I did not expect that.

  “First Paulette, and now Humphrey. I just can’t take it,” she said, sobbing. I tensed up and awkwardly patted her back. I looked up to Maryanne, who also had tears in her eyes. Just shoot me now. Why couldn’t they just hug one another and let me scoot out of here? Whenever anyone cried in front of me, my goal was to get them to stop as soon as possible. I was all for having a good cry, but in the comfort of your own home, wearing pajamas, and preferably with chocolate in hand. This whole crying-in-public bit was just too much for me. I spotted a box of tissues on the end table and let go of Suzanne so I could hand them both a few.

  “Sorry,” Suzanne said.

  “No, it’s okay.” A total lie.

  Suzanne blew her nose softly into the tissues, and Maryanne dabbed her eyes.

  “So, is he okay?” I asked Maryanne.

  “He will be. He’s weak, but recovering.”

  “That’s a relief.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure he would be, seeing the way he went down. I shuddered. “They’re sure he was poisoned though?”

  “Grayanotoxins,” Suzanne said, rejoining the conversation.

  “Graya-whata?” I asked.

  “Grayanotoxins. They’re found in plants and in the cake Paulette ate. They found it in my uncle’s blood too,” Maryanne said.

  Sweet sugar. I didn’t think Maryanne knew I was the one that gave her uncle the cupcake, and I wasn’t about to tell her. Mrs. J. had a lot of explaining to do, like how poison kept getting into her baked goods, that was if I could find her. I knew I wouldn’t be the only one looking for her.

  “Tell your uncle I’m thinking about him, and we’ll figure out what’s going on.” I gave Maryanne’s arm a little squeeze and left my goodbye at that, not even telling her my name. I had a feeling Suzanne would fill her in when I walked out. Hopefully, Maryanne wouldn’t hate me. Between poisoning the mayor and my beauty disaster, I was betting a lot of people were cursing my name that day.

  I left the hospital and drove to First Baptist. Mrs. J. had better be there. The church hall was packed with rows of folding tables with just about every spot taken. The women sat ready to roll with their cards and colored dabbers in front of them. A flat-screen television was set up behind the stage. It showed a blank bingo card while the words “Welcome to Bingo!” scrolled across the bottom. I didn’t know bingo was so serious.

  Unfortunately, it turned out that Mrs. J. was not there, and by helping out, she meant me running prizes from the back-kitchen freezer out to the winners, which happened at an alarming rate. Those ladies didn’t mess around. Had I realized this, I would’ve dressed more appropriately. A tank top and jean shorts was not cutting it. I needed a winter coat and some Uggs. Maybe earmuffs and mittens too. Winter gear was in serious short supply here. Of course, everyone was talking about Paulette and Mayor Potts, and speculating who had it out for the couple. I was able to pick up bits and pieces as I worked the room. Was it a political foe? The mayor was up for reelection and Whip McGovern was said to be a worthy opponent. Young, ambitious, a definite threat. Paulette’s ex-husband, Randy Berger, was also thrown out. Word was her divorce had been a nasty one and her ex hated Humphrey. I, for one, was happy to hear another angle besides “Mrs. J. the homicidal baker,” although there were plenty who thought she was to blame. She really should’ve come tonight.

  I took a break from freezer duty to warm up outside. The heat felt glorious. I looked at my phone and saw a text from my mom, wondering when I’d be back for Captain Jack. Actually, it was more like, “Come get your dog.” I had a missed call from her as well. I text back that I was still at bingo and I’d be there soon. The woman couldn’t be mad, seeing that I was at church. I tried Mrs. J.’s number next, but she didn’t answer. I said a quick prayer to my nan to watch over her best friend, and I headed back inside.

  Military Mary nabbed me before I could make it back to the kitchen. “Have a seat,” she ordered.

  It took a second to realize she was talking to me. She had a least a twenty bingo cards displayed before her several dabbers. She put two cards in front of me and handed me a dabber. I stared at her for a minute. It wasn’t like I didn’t know how to play; I just hadn’t planned on it.

  She ran those cards like a boss. “Where is your friend?” she asked, her eyes never stopped scanning her cards. It was a bit unnerving.

  “Not sure. She’s probably just at home, tired. It’s been a couple of exciting days.” Did that sound lame? It was the best I could do, seeing that I had no idea where she was, and I was wondering the exact same thing.

  “Well, tell her to keep a lookout. Something hinky’s going on here.” Dab, dab, dab.

  “You think so?”

  “I know so. Always trust your gut.” Again w
ith the dabbing.

  “So, you don’t think it’s Mrs. J.?”

  “Nope, never did.” Mary started dabbing my cards as well. “But someone’s working really hard to make it seem that way. Best to stay vigilant.”

  “Got it.”

  “You too.” Dab, dab, dab.

  “I will.” I hadn’t any reason to worry about my safety, but maybe I should start. Killers seemed to be drawn to me. “You know anything about this Whip character, or Paulette’s ex-husband?” I asked.

  “I know they both have something to gain, and that’s a good place for the police to start.” I hadn’t thought of it that way, but that made sense. “A good detective always looks to see who benefits,” Mary said, reading my mind. “People don’t go around killing people unless they have something to gain.”

  Did Mrs. J. have something to gain? A championship title, I thought to myself. How bad did she want it? I then looked at my bingo partner. How bad had Mary wanted it? I didn’t know either answer.

  “You have a bingo, dear,” Mary said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  That I did.

  “BINGO!” Mary hollered on my behalf and pointed down at me. I said goodbye to her and stood up to collect my prize.

  I took my spumoni ice cream and drove back across town to my parents’ place. Maybe I could use the sweet treat to butter up my mom. The chocolate, pistachio, and cherry ice cream really wasn’t my thing; it had fruit and nuts in it. I was still holding out for the mint chocolate chip that I had at home. But my mom would love it.

  My dad was walking Captain Jack when I pulled into their driveway. Hopefully, the pup had been on his best behavior. I took the chicken route and exchanged Captain Jack for the ice cream and headed back home, totally avoiding my mother.

  “Scaredy-cat,” my dad had hollered after me as I backed down the driveway. I waved and smiled. He was so right.

  Twilight was approaching. I wanted to drive by Mrs. J.’s house to see if she was home, but I also wanted to get back home before it was totally dark out. I took Mary’s advice to heart. This wasn’t my first rodeo. My security routine had turned lax the last couple of months, but it was time to start being paranoid again.