by Yoshiyuki Ly
“Why don’t you get to know her and see for yourself? No sense speculating about it without taking action. Now go back to your room and wait. I’ll pay Miranda a visit and bring some fresh sets of clothes for you, and a few other things. Something tells me you’ll be down here for a while yet.”
***
Meditation. It helped me pass the time and to think clearly. I sat over the bed I shared with Luna, my back facing the open door. All sounds from Vassago drowned out in the sharpness of my focus. My sister, my enemy—Lord Kurtz—and the Empress all held my attention. Thoughts of them, limitless scenarios: they washed through me, harmonic and peaceful, pure as day. I felt the sun slowly recede from over my face as the day passed to night. I needed Kurtz to die. I needed to protect my sister; to make up for not keeping her safe from him. I needed to know if Raj wanted me; if last night had been an illusion or not. I felt myself reaching out to her within the stillness of my mind. Fear of the unknown, fear of the dark overpowered me. I fought it with my focus. Raj wanted this strength from me. This was the only thing I was certain of with her. The sex I witnessed earlier brought it further to the surface. Which did she want? Which did she need? My emotional and mental submission to her? I prayed that this, too, wasn’t a dream. I hoped that it was her eyes I felt on my back throughout the day as she passed by.
Raj feared secrecy and mystery. Complete transparency—I could be that for her. I needed to know how she wanted me first. She commanded respect; I melted at the thought of flattering her, reassuring her, and building her back up from anything. And yet I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. I feared we would one day have to talk about how I viewed myself. Androgyny was as much of a crutch for me as it liberated me. It helped me deal with those other issues, but it brought up another set entirely: I’d shut myself off, sexually. Raj was the only person I wanted to open up for. Now more than ever, I wanted to go to her and set all of this aside. This illusion I’d built for myself that I wasn’t a man or a woman…it couldn’t go on. Not really. I caught myself thinking about her on top of me a few times. That building resistance blocked me off like it always did. Like my skin and my insides had both suddenly knotted up and turned to stone, and I couldn’t function unless I shook those thoughts away. And yet I knew that I could make another exception for her…eventually. Thinking about that eventually for even a few seconds made me way too emotional. I couldn’t face it any time soon.
Later that night, Vespair led me to the Garden of Eden through Elysium’s underground tunnels. She was right—everyone watching me left me alone in the dark. They underestimated me and they had no idea how capable my mentor was. We took advantage of that, for now, but I knew this would be the last time we’d have this opportunity. The stench of sewage and fresh blood in the tunnels filled my senses, building my adrenaline and purpose. The Lord’s thugs lay bleeding and dead in our path. They hadn’t gotten away from Vespair’s regiment of dark knights, having weaved in and out of the shadows like the passing winds. I sensed her wicked smile from behind her visor. She could never pass up the chance to make a corrupt noble pay for their crimes.
I would’ve been completely lost without her.
“Vespair?” I said, as we neared the Garden. “Thank you for this. You’ve been invaluable to me.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, Videl,” she warned. “This is the easy part. We will upset the balance of power in Elysium. You need to be prepared for that.”
“Is it so wrong that I dream of the day when Tynan isn’t ruled by greed? I want to make it happen.”
Vespair clapped her hand over my shoulder. “Some would see that idealism as ruthlessness,” she said. “Though I have to commend you—’tis an admirable dream you have. I’m too jaded for that.”
“Why doesn’t everyone want the same thing? I don’t understand how it makes me ruthless.”
“You’ve been too sheltered in Eden. This is why I haven’t trained you to become a dark knight. You have a lot to learn about Tynan yet. Once you’ve seen enough corruption, and it breaks you as it has broken me, we can discuss how to proceed with your training. Here is the next step on that path.”
The Garden of Eden was no different from the tunnels in the wake of Vespair’s ambush. Trails of blood between bushes and patches of flowers led down the path to the Lord’s palace. Temple knights who’d been stationed in front of his home had all abandoned their posts. I heard what must have been Kurtz’s enraged yelling as he searched for his thugs and guards.
Vespair chuckled as she led me inside the building. “How predictable,” she mused. “He won’t call for help. Word would get around that he went crying to the temple knights after losing his workers.”
“Won’t word get around about what we’re doing regardless?”
“No, it won’t,” promised Vespair. “The temple knights are the only ones who could spread those rumors. I’ve directed them to another—false—fire on the other end of Elysium. His neighbors are all out at a scheduled banquet. The Lord was conveniently not invited. We have one hour to get this done without anyone spotting us. Let’s take advantage of this precious time, shall we?”
Through the foyer and upstairs we went through Kurtz’s showy palace. From appearances alone, his home was no different from the ones near the Empyrean Palace in Eden. I made myself sick again, wondering how many underage girls he’d brought here to rape.
Vespair drew her greatsword as we neared the master bedroom. “It’s your sister he almost violated,” she said. Kurtz’s shouting grew louder and louder. “How shall we do this?”
“This is your operation, Vespair. You do the honors. I’ll wait my turn.”
Vespair laughed. “I’d hoped you would say that!” she replied. She smashed the door in. Kurtz gaped at us. “Ah, the esteemed Lord of the Garden of Eden! How I’ve longed to meet you in the flesh. I daresay you shouldn’t be surprised, my good man. You should have known we’d be here for you.” Vespair slowly stepped toward him, reveling in the way Kurtz stepped away, closer to his bed. “Do you ever leave this lovely room, Lord? I wonder how many young girls you’ve had here. A few dozen? More?”
Kurtz fell back over his bed. “S-Stay away from me!” he cried. “I know you killed my men! You turned this place into a ghost town! What the fuck are you?!” When he saw me, I could tell by his eyes that he recognized me. I scowled at him, at the sweat running down his forehead. “Oh, shit, it’s you—!”
“Quiet, you son of a bitch,” I hissed. I noticed the sets of handcuffs along the bedposts. Dozens of other sex toys lay scattered over the nightstands. “Vespair, the handcuffs.”
“You’ve read my mind, Videl.”
We cuffed his wrists and ankles, chaining him to the bedposts. Kurtz struggled to no avail. I watched him cower as Vespair chastised him for his actions. She ordered me to collect any valuables in the room I could find and put them into the long, rectangular box at the foot of the bed. I did as I was told, breathing in the fresh air of revengement. Vespair tore off Kurtz’s clothes. She dug her armored fingertips into his jaw to silence his screams, taunting him the whole time. Stashes of drugs and money, I collected and put into the box. Most of his sex toys looked valuable enough. I collected the whips, floggers, leashes, and chains as trophies to give as a gift to the one who deserved them.
Vespair pried Kurtz’s legs apart, standing over him. “You’re a twisted fool,” she said in a low voice, reveling in his panic. “Open up for me. It’s time you had a taste of the bile you force on others.” She grabbed a nearby dildo and rammed it up his ass. Kurtz howled in pain and protest. “You hate it, do you? Doesn’t it hurt? Don’t you feel weak and helpless? Do you hate me?!” Harder and harder she fucked him; Vespair cackled as he squirmed and bled. I stopped to watch, staring in horror. “Beg me to stop, Kurtz. Beg!”
“Fucking stop it, please!” he yelled. Kurtz bit back a whimper. He shut his eyes in shame. “God, I’ll do anything, Anything! Stop, stop, stop! I’m a man—you can’t fucking do this to
me! For the love of God, stop! Please!”
Vespair didn’t stop just yet. “Tell Videl how you know her,” she ordered, fucking him even harder. “Look her in the eye and explain. Is it only her likeness to her dear sister? Or is there something else?”
“Mistress Fury told me to target the girl! Your sister! She told me to lure you down here, all right?!”
I gestured for Vespair to stop, and she did. “What are you talking about?” I asked. Kurtz shuddered as he caught his breath. I went over to him; grabbed his hair to force him to keep looking at me. “Talk. Now.”
Tears of embarrassment finally streamed down his face. “That woman—she, she…” Kurtz rattled his chains, all as a reminder that he couldn’t run. “She told me that if I didn’t get you down here, she’d mess up my whole operation! She’d tell her whores to steal all my drugs and I’d be out of business! Fuck, she wants you down here! I-I don’t know anything more than that! I swear!”
“I don’t believe you. I think you do know more than you’re telling me.”
I held my hand out to Vespair, silently asking to borrow her greatsword. She gave me her weapon and stepped back, seeming pleased with me. Not only did this man get his hands on my sister, he was conned into doing it. He targeted Luna. He could have left her alone, but he didn’t.
“You had a choice, Kurtz,” I said, wielding Vespair’s greatsword; holding it right over the red, sweating skin of his tense neck. “You chose to cross me. Any blissful innocence my little sister had left is gone because of you. I don’t take kindly to that. Anything Mistress Fury would have done—it’s nothing compared to what I’ll do to you. If you want to save yourself any more pain, you’d better tell me everything.”
“All right, all right!” cried Kurtz, his voice cracking. “It’s like this, okay? Mistress Fury wouldn’t tell me why she wanted you down here. She kept telling me I didn’t need to know! My guys—they noticed something’s up between her and her wife. They’re not all over each other all the time like they used to be. Six years ago, Mistress Fury took Nyte away from the Empress in exchange for Elysium. There are rumors…going around that, that maybe there’s trouble in paradise, and Nyte misses the Empress, and Mistress Fury’s jealous. There’s really no way to tell unless you asked them. A-Anyway, Mistress Fury told me that she’d tip the Empress off about your sister being here, and I wasn’t supposed to have sex with her. I had to do enough to piss you off and send you over here so you’d kill me… I thought it was stupid, you know? I have the best security you can get down in this place! That bitch wants me dead!”
“So if I killed you, right now,” I spoke, moving the sword to his legs, “I’d be playing right into her hands. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“The plan was for you to kill me, then my people would be pissed off at the Empress, y-you know? Then they’d get back at her somehow, except you’ve killed them all… This is all a bunch of bullshit for Mistress Fury to get back at the Empress and make it look like she wasn’t involved!”
I dug the blade into his thigh, slicing it open. “Don’t lie to me, Kurtz,” I warned over his cries. Blood spilled down onto the bed, gathering with the rest of his crimson shame. “I’m going to ask you one last question. If it doesn’t line-up with the rest of your story, you’re dead. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, yes, God, I get it!” he shouted. “I’m not lying! I’m not lying! I know I’m a sick fuck but I’m telling you the truth about this! That entire whore house wants me gone! You’ve gotta believe me!”
“What has the Empress done that was so terrible?” I asked. “Is she having an affair with Nyte?”
Kurtz sucked in his breath. “No way,” he whispered. “The Empress—she wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not unless she had to. I made her agree to meet me tomorrow to talk about this. If she didn’t go behind my back and retaliate, I was gonna come clean. I fucked up big time by hurting your sister… Sorry.”
I stared at him, uncertain of what to do. He seemed genuinely apologetic. One of my holy tenets as a paladin was to show mercy whenever it was due. I couldn’t kill him for being a pawn in the grander scheme of things. This had all been carefully planned. Mistress Fury saw my sister, and me, as disposable things for her to get whatever the hell she wanted. If I killed Kurtz, I’d have a much harder time figuring out exactly what that was.
“What do you want to do, Videl?” asked Vespair. “Will you kill him? Or will you believe and forgive?”
Killing him would’ve implicated Raj. Killing him would’ve upset my sister—she’d told me not to get involved. Only now that I listened to his testimony could I set aside my anger.
“Help me take these handcuffs off,” I said. Vespair complied, sensing I wasn’t done yet. “One last thing, Kurtz. When you had my sister here, did you enjoy it? Did you like having that power over her?”
“…sort of, yeah.”
Kurtz sat up, trying to find the words to apologize again. I punched his jaw as hard as I could. I hit him again, and again, and again, and again, spattering more blood over his sheets. I bruised his face and blackened his eyes. I cut open his lip. I winded him when I punched his stomach through his rock-hard abs. I hit him with every single one of my regrets for letting my sister fall into his hands. I wanted him to suffer for getting Raj involved in Mistress Fury’s schemes—she didn’t deserve this.
“Videl,” said Vespair, pulling me back. “It’s all right. You’ve done enough. Let him breathe.” I remembered myself and turned away. I suddenly couldn’t stand the sight of him, curled up over the pool of his own blood. “Here’s how this is going to work, Lord. My dark knights will act as your new thugs in disguise. Any information you have about Mistress Fury goes straight to us. You’ll stop the drug dealing, only making drops when instructed to act as your cover. If anyone asks, you got into a scuffle with the Empress’ gang. There’s only one tiny detail that worries me.”
Kurtz coughed violently. “…what is it?” he droned.
“I’m afraid you were too quick to confess,” replied Vespair. “If anyone else gets their hands on you, threatening to kill you, I’m concerned that you’ll compromise our deal. We can’t have that, can we?”
“You two have me by the balls. If there’s something else you want from me, just—just say it…”
“Nothing too drastic. Just some friendly conditioning, is all. Do you object?”
Kurtz groaned. “If I get to stay alive, I’ll do whatever it takes,” he answered.
“That’s a good man,” said Vespair. “I’ll clean you up and then we must head off. I’ll be in touch.”
***
I didn’t sleep at all that night. My nerves were shot to hell. I was afraid that Raj would find out what I did before I could tell her myself. I wasn’t certain I made the right decision in sparing Kurtz. He could’ve decided to betray us to save himself. I barely knew him and I had to trust him this much—too much.
All day on Sunday, I meditated as I did before, trying to calm myself. Vespair had delivered my clothes, including an outfit for my dinner with Raj later on. I had to come clean with her. I had to tell her the truth. I knew she was worried—her bandits paced the halls, frantic, repeating over and over that they didn’t have eyes on Kurtz’s thugs. No one suspected that I had anything to do with it. They all thought that Kurtz planned on mobilizing against them. Raj eventually ordered them to shut up about it. Kurtz called off their meeting and communicated that he didn’t want to see my sister anymore. Naturally, Raj was suspicious. He wouldn’t tell her why. That was my duty. I owed her that much.
More than anything, I feared that whatever Raj and I had between us was dead already. I overstepped my boundaries last night. She had her reasons for not taking action against him. I’d let my need for revenge get ahead of me. That nausea I felt yesterday came back, shaping itself around this instead. I had no idea how I could eat in front of her in a few hours. I already hadn’t slept in almost a week. Her disapproval was all it would take for me to coll
apse on the spot.
Nearly ten-thirty. I kept my outfit simple—black and white—similar to the one I’d had on these past few days, for familiarity’s sake. I brought my coffer from Kurtz’s palace with me into the smaller, more intimate dining room down the hall from Raj’s office. When I arrived, I found Raj standing on the other side of the room with her back to me. She stared at the wall, at nothing. She still had her sari on. I stopped myself from staring at her long legs, as much as I wanted to. I didn’t deserve to even be in the same room with her until I’d absolved myself in her eyes. Two plates of fresh, warm food sat over the table, with glasses of white wine ready for us.
She was so beautiful and compassionate… I didn’t have her, and here I was, afraid of losing her.
“Empress,” I said, bowing. Raj looked surprised to see me. “I’ve been thinking about this dinner ever since you asked me to be here—what I’d say, what I’d do. Now that we’re alone, I…”
“Videl?” she asked, walking over to me. “Wait a minute—what is this?”
I offered her the box and said, “It’s a gift, for you.”
Raj smiled, slightly puzzled. “You didn’t have to bring me nothin’,” she insisted. “Kinda big, this box. What’s in it?”
“Total honesty and transparency, from me, as you require.”
She took the box in her hands, softly, hesitantly. When she opened it, my heart fell to the floor. Too many emotions crossed her face—I couldn’t follow all of them. Raj knew what it was. She knew what I’d done, where I’d been last night. Anger flared up within her. She sucked it in and held it back. She closed the box and set it aside, refusing to look at me. What little food I had in my stomach threatened to come up again in my stress and fatigue. Light-headed and frightened, I was, like that child Vespair had described not too long ago. Raj—she saw this in me. She read my regret plainly over my pale face. Instead of going off on me like I expected, she held my hand, bringing me to the dining table with her.
