by Yoshiyuki Ly
I accepted the gift and said, “Thank you, Luna… This means a lot. I really appreciate it.”
Luna beamed at me. “You’re welcome!” she replied. “Empress? Did you still want me to join you and the others?”
Raj cleared her throat awkwardly. “Err, yeah,” she said. “Go ahead and wait downstairs with Satya and Nyte. We’ll be down there in a minute…”
“Okay. See you soon!”
Luna skipped along, leaving us alone. I sighed in embarrassment. So Raj had been right—my sister knew, but she was insightful enough to not bother me about it. When we got to the bedroom, Raj had me sit on the bed. I removed the strap-on. My hands lingered over my collar; I didn’t dare take it off. As Raj closed and locked the door, she gave me a look—like she was about to ask me something that had been on her mind for a long time.
“I’ve really gotta know, Videl,” she started. “What’s the deal with her findin’ out about us? It’s clear as day that she knew this whole time. It don’t bother her none. She loves you and accepts you all the same. Is there somethin’ else about your sister you ain’t tellin’ me?”
It wasn’t until now that I realized how much I’d wanted to avoid this talk.
“…yes, there is,” I replied. Raj folded her arms and leaned on the door, listening. I took a deep breath. “Watching Luna grow up was hard for me. Before we came here, and she was to be married, she didn’t care about me the same way. She rebelled every night, drinking and partying with strange men; insisting on wearing such short skirts to school. I was too proud to tell her that I missed the way things used to be. So I spent my days fantasizing about it instead. Only I went a little too far sometimes.”
Raj raised her brow, intrigued. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“I wanted to understand her ways,” I went on. “And so I put myself in her position. I wondered what it would be like to be her age again—to be her. Whenever she was on her way to school, I would stare at her skirt and imagine myself wearing it. I was curious what it would be like to not have any responsibilities. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a predator’s attention. She knew that the men she partied with wanted to have sex with her; she flirted with them anyway, knowing they wouldn’t rape her as long as her friends were around to see. She walked that fine line on purpose. I knew she was foolish. But I didn’t do anything to stop her because I respected her sexuality. I envied her back then…how bold she was to tempt that kind of attention. I didn’t want her to find out about my lifestyle because I would’ve had to explain. I might’ve let this fetish of mine slip. Avoiding it all was easier.”
Though she didn’t say anything, I saw the fascination sweep through Raj’s beautiful eyes. She watched me get dressed, thinking the whole time. Even after we left the room and joined the others, Raj was too caught up in her thoughts to chat with them. We left Vassago with Luna, Satya, Nyte, and a few of the remaining bandits, walking down the streets that evening. The people outside were caught up in celebration over the rogue bandits leaving Kin and Brood. I had no idea why that was cause to celebrate, but I was glad that they had a reason to be happy over it. I held Raj’s hand, watching her drift off to everywhere but here. I knew she had a bunch of ideas. I wouldn’t find out what they were until she wanted to tell me. So I didn’t ask her about them. I noticed Nyte glancing at us every now and then. I glared at her, quietly asking what her problem was. She had the nerve to walk over to me.
“In case you didn’t notice,” she murmured, “We’re being watched. Friends of yours?”
I was about to fire back about watching until I noticed who she meant. Three cloaked men tried to blend in with the crowd nearby. The one in the middle, I recognized him—it was Ser Rin, his narrowed grey eyes leering at me from underneath his hood. The two men with him were of the Holy Knights Thirteen. I had a feeling Ser Rin had been promoted to that rank in my absence, and now he was in charge of scoping out the scene down here. My panic levels raised high above Elysium’s false sky. I didn’t have my sword on me—I’d left it in Miranda’s closet with my suit of armor. I couldn’t handle this on my own.
“Empress,” I said. “We have a problem…”
Raj came back down from her daydreaming, sounding dazed, “Hmm? What are you on about—?” She was subtle enough to notice without making a scene. “Motherfucking hell… Satya! Detour right now. We’ve got male company from hell-on-earth. The Holiest kind.”
Our group’s momentum steadily shifted in another direction, down the street leading to the bath house. “Should the others engage them?” asked Satya. “Or would you like a distraction?”
“No, none of that. Just the detour. We’ll discuss this more when we get there.”
As we made our way to the safe place, Nyte had to chime in: “Still think I’m out to hurt your Empress?”
“We’ll see,” I answered. “Follow her lead and wait until we arrive. You and I need to talk.”
Once we made it to the bath house, I understood why Raj had us come here. Naturally, the building was divided by gender. The Holy Knights following us weren’t allowed through to the female baths. Raj’s male bandits used the excuse to relax, still keeping watch on the other side of the thick wooden wall. In the changing area, I removed Raj’s clothes for her, staying close to her body. I whispered to her about the seriousness of the situation. We didn’t want any of the other customers to think we were here to hide; Satya and Luna had already gotten in the bath, talking loudly together to diffuse the tension. Nyte stayed off to the side, wearing her clothes; sweltering in her leather outfit, but refusing to change. I kept my clothes on, of the mind to talk to Nyte after I’d answered all of Raj’s questions.
“What’s the bottom line?” asked Raj, watching me fold her sari. “The hell do they want?”
“In Eden, it’s all about money. A while ago, I heard them wondering about your followers’ actual wages. The Holy Knights Thirteen might have proof by now that your people aren’t as poor as they appear. If I know anything about the corrupt branch of the Excalibur, they’ll want more tax money. They could charge you with inciting tax evasion and fraud against the city proper. Considering how much money is involved, that’s punishable by death…”
Raj scoffed. “Tax money!” she said, scandalized, trying to keep her voice down. “The money I give them comes from charity! You can’t tax fucking charity funds! They can’t kill me for makin’ sure my people get their fair share! Have they lost their damn minds?! How do they even know?”
“The Right of Acquirement dictates that anyone in Elysium can buy land in Eden if they have enough money. Before I left Eden, I noticed quite a few houses getting bought up by people from Elysium. I don’t think they were your people, specifically. You told me that they all choose to stay down here.”
“Yeah, they do. It’s so we don’t tip no one off about what we’ve got goin’ on down here.”
“Is there any way you can find out who’s moved from Elysium to Eden?”
Raj wrapped a towel around her body in a rush. “My fucking traitors, that’s who,” she growled. “They acted like they didn’t give a damn that I kicked ‘em out. Like they had someplace better to be. They must’ve bought up a bunch of places up in Eden. That gave those Holy fucks an excuse to come snoopin’ ‘round down here. Damnit!”
“What do you want to do? We can’t stay here all night. It’ll be a dead giveaway that we know they’re after you.”
“No, we can’t stay here that long,” she agreed. Raj sighed, spending a bit longer to think. Her resolve and resourcefulness gave her the answers she needed. “This is about me. If this was about my people, they’d have rounded ‘em all up by now and forced ‘em to pay up whether I liked it or not. You sure you don’t wanna jump in? You’ll miss the water where we’re goin’.”
“And where’s that?” I asked, watching as she walked away to join Satya and my sister in the water.
Raj winked at me and said, “You’ll see.”
&n
bsp; Even though she’d gone back to her usual mood, I sensed the fear about her. Her footsteps were cautious; careful. I laced my hands in prayer and stared up at the steaming ceiling. God wouldn’t hear me from here—not so close to the private rooms where people enjoyed one another or interfered with themselves alone. I took the time to open Luna’s gift. It was a compact, metallic blue survival knife. I stared at it in surprise, in awe. Something so practical—I had to wonder if this gift was really her idea or not. I tucked the knife away. Then I noticed Nyte sitting along a bench on the other end of the room by herself. She had her leg bent, heeled boot atop the surface, resting her sweating head over the leather of her pants. I had a feeling she knew more about this than she let on. I went to the bench and sat down with her. She didn’t look at me, but she knew I was there. For a while, we sat in silence, listening to Raj, Luna and Satya talk and joke with one another as if nothing was wrong.
Finally, Nyte spoke. “Before you ask,” she said, raising her head to look at me, “I’ll admit it—I was there watching you. You didn’t need to fuck her that hard to make your point. I got it loud and clear, thanks.”
“That’s the least of my concerns right now.”
Nyte rubbed her temples, clearly stressed out. “Right,” she droned. “Then what’s your priority? Those knights who are after Raj?”
“How do you know they’re after her?” I asked, folding my arms. “Hell, how did you pick them out of the crowd before I did? You’ve seen them before?”
There was a faraway look in her eyes all of a sudden. “A long time ago, I wanted to be a dark knight,” she told me. “I knew I’d have to become a temple knight before then. I studied the tenets. I memorized the laws in Eden and how it is paladins like you manage to work in harmony with your polar opposites. Those faces in the crowd stood out to me like pictures in a story.”
“You can’t be a dark knight without honor. Who are you loyal to?”
“My wife.”
“But you left her,” I pointed out.
Nyte stared at the collar around my neck. “Sometimes the slave has to stand up and leave if she wants to make a difference,” she explained. “I know that I have power over her. I see it in her letters every day. She’s realized her mistakes. If I go back now, I have no way of knowing that she’ll keep these promises she’s recently made to me. All I can do is protect Raj from the fallout.”
“What fallout?”
“Stella’s plans have taken on a life of their own. She wanted to do all of these things before. The second I left, the plans got called off. Someone, I don’t know who, took charge and continued where she left off. This isn’t her. I’d know if it was.”
“You don’t know whose fault this is?” I asked, bewildered. “How can you not? Haven’t you tried finding out? Your wife has no idea?”
“Stella thinks she knows but she won’t tell me anything more than that.”
“Then I’m going to find out—”
Nyte grabbed my arm as I tried to stand up. “Stay out of this, Videl!” she bit back. “You don’t know what you’re getting into! Keep your head down and do what Raj says.”
“My superiors want the love of my life dead and you’re telling me to stay out of this?!”
“…for now,” she said, stunned, like she hadn’t expected my declaration. “You have to. Raj’s going to want to leave the city for a while. While she’s gone, her true enemies will show themselves. Stella’s going to make sure that her suspicions are right. When she does, then you can get involved. I know you have every reason not to trust either of us. But right now, I need you to promise me that you’ll let my wife handle this.”
“And you leaving is the only reason she had a change of heart?”
“No,” said Nyte. “She lost control of the situation. She wants to make things right.” If I believed her, and they betrayed my trust… “This is for your own good and Raj’s. If the new leader finds out you know anything, we’re all screwed. Give me your word that you’ll only get involved once I give you the okay. Do that, and you’ll be able to count on me if you need anything when the time comes. You’re not the only one who’s good with a sword.” That did sound comforting. I looked over to Raj, how happy she seemed…for now. “Videl. Promise me… I don’t want anything happening to either one of you. No matter what happened between Raj and me, I’ll always care about her. You make her happy. I want you to be safe. Please.”
I saw the earnestness in her crimson eyes—urgent, anxious. Nyte was serious about this. She was sincere. If her wife had truly seen the errors of her ways, then I had no choice but to show mercy. We as humans all made mistakes. I prayed that this clemency offered me clarity in this situation. Staying true to my ideals would surely see me through, and help keep Raj safe. Thus, I gave Nyte my word. She and I shook hands and actually smiled at one another. From the strength in her grip, I knew she wasn’t lying about her swordsmanship. I saw Raj smiling at us, looking satisfied—like she wanted us to be friends, to trust one another. If this was what she’d planned, then I wanted to make her proud.
Chapter Nine
Short Skirts and Perverts
(Raj)
We all snuck out of Elysium that same night to the heat of the desert. The dry winds stuck to my skin: pollution, dirt, and sweat all undoing the bath I’d had not too long ago. Hills of sand stretched out for miles, with old statues and relics scattered everywhere. Everything here was peaceful, quiet. Everything thrived in the heat and existed alone. The ancient stone ruins we passed through felt comfortably warm to the touch at night. These once made up an underground passageway for traders to travel safely between Tynan and Limerick, my hometown. Erosion over time exposed the ruins to the terrible heat waves. I remembered passing through these ruins back when I’d left home. Seeing Tynan from here had filled me with more hopes and dreams than I knew what to do with at ten years old. I had been happy to have my back facing my parents, heading toward the promise of opportunity. Going back in this direction brought up too many mixed feelings. I walked with Satya, glancing over my shoulder every now and then. Now that Luna would be seventeen in a few days, Videl took this time to talk with her about our relationship. I respected her for taking responsibility and actually being open with her sister. It was nice to see Luna smiling like that—she was happy to know that her big sister cared enough. Nyte wasn’t too far away, chatting with Finn and the other bandits I brought with us. Just from reading her lips and seeing her wife’s name there so many times, I had a feeling Stella might’ve known where we were. I expected her to pay us a visit sometime. I wished she would show her face to me. She owed me a fucking explanation about all this mess. I hated having to leave my throne, my people behind, even for a little while. Especially to come back to this dump…
Once Limerick was in my sights, I stopped. The town wasn’t run-down at all. It was a respectable-looking place now. Refurbished, respectable buildings dotted along the expanse of the desert, way taller than I remembered from before. Fountains, and an oasis with untainted water. Clean roads wound over the hills of the town, packed with people coming and going. And the people—they weren’t the gangsters I remembered, the bums, the drug addicts and the beggars. They were normal, middle-class. Like they could have fit right in between Eden’s high act and the poor charades my people in Elysium put on. They hauled their wagons full of goods, and rode their horse-drawn carriages to hide from the heat, and went into bars and nightclubs with their friends. The town’s authorities found me not long after we passed through the gates. They welcomed the group and me warmly and thanked me for all my contributions. Normal citizens nearby heard us talking, and gossiped excitedly about the famous Empress of Elysium paying them a visit. Apparently all the money I’d been sending my parents had been going to Limerick proper instead of them. I asked the officers where my folks were. The mood darkened. Just from their expressions alone, I knew where they were leading me.
The hospice wasn’t too far from my old home. But this build
ing had to be new. I didn’t remember it. The place was so damn clean and normal. Other visitors sat quietly in the waiting rooms. Nurses smiled at me as we passed. There was none of this around when I was a kid. Funny how much money could change everyone’s attitude like this.
I couldn’t go in the room. I had to stay in the doorway. My folks were so out of it. They would have died ages ago if not for the money I kept sending over. Alcohol poisoning. Liver failure. They were on their death beds, dying. Nothing to their name except for me. They couldn’t move, couldn’t take care of themselves anymore. They had nothing at all. Nothing to look forward to except to die. Their bodies moved only to breathe. Every breath they took put them one step closer to rotting in a coffin and the world moving on without them. The world had already moved on. No one gave a fuck about them.
And the worst part? One day, I’d end up just like them. On my death bed after drinking myself into a coma. It ran in the family. Every time I felt like I didn’t know what to do, I drank and drank. Or I smoked to pretend like I was too good to drink. Or I did both to convince myself I could take it. I was just as pathetic as they were. The truth was I couldn’t trust myself to love anyone, or to have a real family. I was scared down to my bones that I’d fuck everything up like they did.
I looked in this room and all I saw was the dark basement from my old home. How I’d gone down there to protect myself from all the people they would have over for parties. Loud, loud parties, with the smell of whiskey slipping through the cracks of the old door at the top of the basement stairs. I had to learn to survive those hours until the party was over and I could go upstairs for leftover food. With the dark singing to me, haunting me. I’d had to block it all out. I’d had to force myself to sleep on the dusty mattress on the ground by the tiny bathroom. Even with the sounds of fucking creaking through the ceiling, dust and specs of paint raining down over my head from the thrusting. And if I was awake, I’d stare at the doorknob at the top of the stairs, waiting for something to happen. I wouldn’t flush the toilet unless I knew for sure that no one was by that door, that I wouldn’t draw attention to my existence down in the dark. I’d fully expected someone, anyone to break down the door and come have their way with me. Six, seven, eight, nine years old—and then ten years old was when I’d finally had enough, and ran off to Tynan without fearing what some perverted fuck might have done to a kid like me. And my parents didn’t give a shit. If that had happened, they wouldn’t have stopped the person from touching me no matter how hard I screamed.
