by Yoshiyuki Ly
“I see you’ve put your dear parents out of their misery at last. What a way to go about it!”
I whipped around and found Vespair there, arms folded, dignified. Her aura pierced me as it had before.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not here to take your glory from you. I wonder—do you feel vindicated now that they’re dead? As if you’ve somehow absolved yourself of your past. And to take out half of Eden’s governing body at the same time… How bold of you.”
“What the hell do you want, Vespair? You here to punish me for killin’ your superiors? Well fuck them! They wanted me dead for no good reason.”
“They had every reason to want you dead. You with so much power who wields it not in favor of all of Tynan, but only for the rats of Elysium who worship the ground you walk upon. You’ve proven yourself to be a mad murderer who would set fire even to her parents. What would Videl think of that, I wonder? Would she approve?”
“The hell do you care?” I asked. “It ain’t like you can rat me out to her. She wouldn’t believe you. I’ll tell her myself. Then we’ll see how she reacts. You sayin’ this shit to me is supposed to be a threat. It’s not.”
Vespair stepped closer to me. “Allow me to be clear,” she said in a warning tone. “My sworn duty as a dark knight is to cut down corrupt nobles. You have true power. You misuse that power. You sent an entire town of people back to your nest after fooling them into thinking their home would be under attack. It was you they should have feared. You care not at all for the homes they have lost here. All of this was an act of selfishness.” She was right in my face. I didn’t dare look away. Just through her visor, I could see her eyes, cold and calculating. “You are a corrupt noble in my eyes, Rakshashi Mangala. If Videl were a dark knight, she would be able to see you for who you are. I have asked, begged for her to become one. She refuses. She is content to be your naïve, blissful paladin—to kiss your feet after you have walked over the ashes of the history you’ve destroyed. I should kill you.”
I caught sight of the greatsword over her back. She wouldn’t use it. “So kill me,” I goaded her, sneering. Vespair narrowed her eyes. “Come on, let’s go! You hate me so fucking much? Kill me!” I grabbed her gloves and forced her to wrap her hands around my neck. She held back, trembling, growling. I raised my voice, yelling up to the stars above. “You’re a dark knight, aren’t you? You fight for justice, to cut down corrupt nobles like me? Fucking do it, then! Make Videl hate you more than she already does! Get rid of me for dealing with my past the only way I know how! I’m a pervert for wantin’ your daughter in my sick, wicked ways! And she’s in love with me for it! Kill me, Vespair! Kill me, kill me, KILL ME!”
Vespair shoved me away. She disappeared through that dark vortex of hers. I was tempted to follow her, to see where that darkness led. The way I felt after she was gone: hungry for more, for another round of outsmarting her—this must have been where she was, seething in me, full of hatred.
Chapter Ten
Performance of a Lifetime
(Videl)
Rising flames from across the desert made me stop and turn around. Across the horizon, Limerick burned beneath the night sky, smoke billowing up to cloud the constellations above. I felt a strong jolt in my legs, as a reaction to run back and find Raj, wherever she was. But I had to stop and tell Satya to get Luna to safety first. As long as my sister was taken care of, I could deal with this with a clear head. In case Vassago wasn’t safe, Stella promised to house everyone at Nirvana for now. Then I heard Raj’s voice filled with the same fiery rage that consumed her hometown—”Kill me, kill me, KILL ME!” I took off thickly through the desert in my combat boots. The heated winds grazed into my all-black clothes, taxing me, but I wouldn’t stop. If Raj was in trouble, I had no idea what I’d do. I didn’t have my armor or my sword. The survival knife Luna gave me, I kept strapped around my ankle, hidden in my boot—that was all I had on me. Never had I felt so exposed without my marks as a paladin. I needed them back.
When at last I found Raj walking toward Tynan, toward me, we both slowed down and stopped. Shock crossed her face before dimming to shame; she looked away. I sensed that she’d been on a high just moments ago: the pride in her posture and the skip in her step. That all disappeared once she saw me again.
“Raj?” I asked, tentative. “What happened? Why is Limerick on fire? I thought you were trapped.”
Her hands started to shake. She folded her arms, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “It’s a bad situation,” she explained. “I lost it. Seein’ you again makes me realize how low I stooped. I made everyone move to Elysium and then I set the place on fire. This is my fault.”
“But…why?”
Raj met my eyes, so full of vulnerability, and trust in me. “I knew some of the Holy Knights would follow us there,” she said. “When they were in the hospice with my folks, I made sure they all burned. All that shit Vespair talked about—how you shouldn’t trust me, how dark I am…she was right. She confronted me here. I dared her to kill me and she didn’t. I bet the only reason she held back is ‘cause she knew you’d be upset. I said I’d come clean to you. So there you have it.” I had no idea what to say, what to think. Raj laughed nervously. “The worst part is I did all of that without thinkin’. I didn’t stop to wonder how you’d react or what Elysium would think of me. I bet Vespair’s gone and told the rest of her superiors what I did. Now they’ll really have a reason to kill me. You’re still a paladin, Videl. You’ve got no business bein’ seen with me. Even though I love you…if you wanna leave, I’ll understand…”
Out here in the scorching desert, the imagery of scorpions surrounded me. Raj had fallen so far that she’d forced her reign over the dunes. She’d destroyed what was left of her bleak childhood—her parents, her hometown. Everything that she’d tried and failed to run away from. And now here she was, admitting all of this to me. She’d burned her parents alive while they were on their death beds. Did she feel vindicated? Did she finally feel free? I’d never been in her position before. I couldn’t imagine how much darkness she harbored inside of her. The one thing that kept me from judging her was her apparent remorse. She was guilty because I knew, and because all of Elysium would soon judge her if they found out. That Eden would truly have leverage to sentence her to death by the gallows for all of Tynan to witness. Though the truth filled me with dread—that Raj had suffered so much, and released that thoughtless suffering once she’d had the chance—I swallowed down my fear and trembling. There was one last thing I needed to know. I couldn’t ask her because I was afraid to believe her and her alone. I steeled myself. I returned to my impartiality, as any knight would, banishing my emotional stakes in the matter. This was the only way.
Together we returned to Tynan. In her silence, Raj entrusted her fate to me. Wherever I chose to go, I knew she would follow. I imagined her nerves churning as nausea; she struggled to keep up with me, to face this, yet she didn’t waver. Back through the dank underground roads we went, seeing where the poorest of Raj’s enemies hid with their clothes that reeked of sewage, their bonfires in tin barrels, and their food that they’d taken from the garbage. Again I felt Raj’s apprehensions. She didn’t want to be like them. She was terrified I’d abandon her to that fate if I forced her to run. For now, I wanted her to stay in the shadows while I remained in the light and handled this.
That same small church in the Negative Rumor. The lit candles at the altar, the smell of old wood from the rows of benches. I knelt at the altar, breathing in the smell of the dust over the surfaces, the thick wax of the candles. I prayed for clarity. I prayed for the strength to do what had to be done. I prayed for my communion with Vespair to return, for us to speak again. The beginnings of my prayer were answered, and I recited the last words I’d spoken here from the Venus Gospel: “True, destined reunions shall brighten blackness to beauty, and all will be forgiven.”
Just like that, she returned. Rising from the vortex behind me, Vespair appear
ed. Her armored boots stepped toward me, dark steel crushing old wood.
“So you’ve seen the light,” said Vespair, sounding pleased. “I told you she was dangerous.” She knelt down next to me. I kept my eyes closed, feeling her eyes on me from behind her helmet. “I haven’t told Ser Rin yet. Ser Astaroth will likely stall any investigations into her—yet again. He can’t carry on as the single minority voice in Tynan’s politics. Once I present my evidence, the remainder of the Holy Knights will have to impeach him. I don’t want the title. Perhaps Ser Rin can have it—if he behaves. Or you can.”
“I missed you,” I whispered. “I miss walking around Eden with you. I miss listening to your advice.”
“…I did all of this for you, Videl. Never underestimate my love for you.”
“What did you do?”
Vespair laughed. “I spun your story,” she claimed. “The Holy Knights Thirteen believe you are a secret agent spying on the Empress’ going-ons. If you present the evidence of her wrong-doing, they will welcome you back to the Excalibur with open arms. I promised them you would have plenty to report, and that you and I would do it together. I knew you’d forgive me once you learned the truth.”
“And what exactly is the truth?”
“You and I swore our respective oaths—as paladin, as dark knight. Though our methods are different, our goals for Tynan are the same: any who misuse their power must be dealt with. It became inherently more complicated when you decided to fall in love with the worst one of them all. So I remained in the shadows and pulled the strings of Mistress Fury’s animosity toward her. But really, I should have cut Raj down in the streets like the coward she is. She dared me to kill her. I held back for your sake. Now that you and I have reconciled, the next time I see her, I won’t stay my blade.”
I opened my eyes to the candles over the altar. The weight of this decision pressed down on me. I knew deep in my heart what I had to do. I knew what had to be done, but the fear choked me; the pain wouldn’t cease. I felt the path burning within me, imprinted as the image of Raj’s past. In the ashen winds of my memory, I watched myself grow up in awe of Vespair’s command, her confidence. I saw the nights I stayed up reading our religious scriptures in the Grand Cathedral, and Vespair would lightly chide me, asking why I devoted myself so deeply to the abstract edges of our faith. She’d insisted that I could only be whole once I found someone whose honor I wanted to uphold. Someone I would die to protect. My sister had moved on to her independence, and my protectiveness over her shadowed my heart instead. And then the city’s corruption had led me here… Here, where I had the choice to live with my honor or slowly die from the eternal pain of doing what was expected of me.
Vespair leaned closer, telling me, “Your Empress is a corrupt noble. She does not deserve your lips upon her feet. Whatever love you have for her is a foolish, childish mistake. She is not worthy of your honor—”
I pulled my survival knife out and plunged it into Vespair’s neck. I gripped the handle, and her plated shoulder, putting more pressure, and more pressure, and more, hell-bent on securing Raj’s freedom. She choked on her own blood, sputtering, struggling. Helplessly she grabbed my wrist with both hands, weakening, weakening. I leaned her down over her caped back. Through the slot in her helmet, I watched the life steadily leave her eyes. She stayed alive long enough to listen to my words.
“I did as you said—I found a true woman to worship instead of scripture alone. My love for her won’t wane in the night. It won’t bend in the shape of your approval. If Raj’s darkness drives her to set all of Eden on fire, then I will kneel at her side while she watches the rest of the Holy Knights Thirteen burn. I am her knight whether you like it or not. Nothing will ever change that.”
Weakly, she breathed, “Such a… wonderful… performance. You—fooled me…”
Vespair’s hold over my wrist faded to black. Her body dissipated as a shadow of death, leaving her armor behind. She was gone. I couldn’t mourn the loss of my mentor because she’d already left long ago. This web of deceit and madness was nearly over. The worst of it had passed.
I turned to watch Raj walking down the aisle toward me. She heard everything. She saw everything. The embers from the candles shaped the fresh tears in her eyes. She knelt down and kissed me, holding me close to her. All this time, I’d had no idea that I had to choose between the two of them. Vespair’s deceptions and Eden’s corruptions they’d led me to her. Now it was time to make things right.
We went to Nirvana with Vespair’s armor. The brothel was more of a mansion than I expected: rosewood gleaming as crimson in the dim light of the candles along the walls. Nyte was in the entrance lobby, pacing around. She looked relieved once she saw us.
“Hey, Luna’s here. She’s safe,” said Nyte, gesturing to the nearest hallway. “That armor…”
I recalled our conversation in the bath house. “You said you wanted to be a dark knight, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. Call it a childhood dream of mine.”
I handed her Vespair’s armor and greatsword. “Put this on,” I ordered. “Your voice sounds a lot like Vespair. You could easily pass as her, at least for tonight. I only need your help to clear Raj’s name. You promised me you wanted to protect her from the fallout. This is how you can accomplish that. After we do this, you can decide what you want to do.”
Nyte wordlessly accepted, too surprised to say anything more. While she donned the armor, I coached her on what I needed her to say. She picked up on everything. Apparently Stella and Vespair had had several meetings before that Nyte had overheard. While she went to say goodbye to her wife, Raj followed me as I went down the hall to check on my sister. Luna was asleep in one of the rooms far-removed from the others. I just needed to make sure she was all right. I promised myself that this city would be better for her, for us, by the time I saw her again. Raj and Nyte went with me to the Charon Bridge, the rising stone passing point between Eden and Elysium. At the very top of the structure, I saw the temple knights gathered in a mass of confusion. Higher-ranking paladins shouted at the temple knights to get themselves together and come down to Elysium to search for Raj. The temple knights shouted back that they had to protect her, as with all of Elysium’s people—by the Right of Acquiescence—and to not arrest her without any true evidence of wrongdoing. Eden was still hung-up over Raj’s clever tactics, making Elysium’s people appear poor while funding them with charity money—money that couldn’t be taxed, yet the Holy Knights Thirteen insisted otherwise, as much as they insisted on killing Raj for the supposed fraud. If they knew what she’d done to Limerick, they could have easily taken her away from me. Vespair had been the only other person except me who knew what happened.
Elysium’s citizens poked their heads from their windows. They spotted Raj, cheering into the night that their Empress had returned at last. How ironic, then, that I felt Raj doing her best to hold her own.
I whispered in her ear, “Please trust me. We’ll make things right again.”
Raj held my hand tightly. “I trust you, Videl,” she said.
Nyte led the way up the incline of the bridge, walking proudly as Vespair had in her armor. Steadily more of Raj’s people filed out to the streets, their voices joining the cacophony of the temple knights above. Slowly the shouting above subsided as the knights saw us. They saw me holding Raj’s hand, staring up at them with the wealth of my honor for her. Finally all of Tynan would soon know how strongly I loved her. For a knight shunned by Eden’s corruption to return with the Empress of Elysium in hand spoke volumes. And her most loyal people dared to cross the bridge after us, following us as a band of true support. They brightened Raj’s spirits and shed most of her unease.
Ser Kerse was the paladin in the center of the crowd. He stopped us, staring at us in disbelief. “Archangel Vespair, Seraphim Videl,” he addressed us. “You’ve brought the Empress with you. Is she here to surrender? We can’t allow her people to cross the bridge.”
“No, she isn’t h
ere to surrender,” said Nyte, sounding eerily like my mentor. “By the Right of Assembly, her people are allowed to congregate in Eden together. You should know better.”
“Well…as much as I wish I could, I can’t let the Empress pass. She’s under investigation.”
Raj spoke up for herself, “We’re here to set things straight with your government. I ain’t surrenderin’ to no one. If you don’t let us pass peacefully, you know what’ll happen—my people’ll start a civil war right here on the spot. This doesn’t need to get ugly. Let us through.”
Ser Kerse looked to me, stressed by the sudden position he was in. “Fine, but just—tell me you’re here to see someone else,” he offered. “Officially, I can’t let you go to the Grand Cathedral. If you manage to get there while the rest of us are here, no one can hold us accountable.”
“Miranda Florence,” I said. “She’s been expecting me for a few months now since I left.”
“Of course. Please make your way there first, Ser Videl. And good luck to you.”
It felt like so long ago that I’d last been in Eden’s chilled hold. The wide cobblestone avenues and elegant architecture, the mansions, the open plazas and courtyards, the fountains made of porcelain and stone, the masonry, and, above all, the money that went into such style and articulation was disproportional. None of it trickled down to Elysium as it should have. Eden prided itself on being a heavenly paradise separate from Elysium’s underworld of poverty. All that kept Raj’s people safe were archaic laws that had been written by the original Holy Knights Thirteen that couldn’t be revoked. Antiquity had kept Elysium at the very edge of the definition of human beings in Eden’s eyes. They deserved far more than that. If Tynan wasn’t willing to be one city, then something had to give.
