Just This Once

by K. G. MacGregor

  “Annnnhhh!” The guttural sound came out like a cross between a scream and a moan.

  Slowly, the smaller woman lowered herself to the bed, her throbbing center still gripping the fingers inside.

  ———

  “I’ve missed you,” Paula said, her voice low and serious. Gently, she trailed her fingers across her lover’s prominent collarbone, dipping from time to time to the valley between her breasts. The lovers had spent more than two hours getting reacquainted and now lay temporarily sated.

  “Me too. But it’s all just as wonderful as I remember it, only better.” Instantly, Wynne regretted her words, knowing where they would lead.

  “Better? What’s better?”

  The brunette sighed. “Just knowing that there’s a tomorrow this time, I guess.”

  “I hope there is.” Paula nestled closer. “I like this.”

  Wynne relaxed, glad she was getting a reprieve. Her relief, though, didn’t last.

  “And this time, you don’t have to feel guilty about anything.”

  Wynne shuddered uncomfortably as she planted a small apologetic kiss on the blonde head. “That’s right.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” Paula felt the tension emanating from her lover’s body. She didn’t want this to be a confrontation, but she needed to know that things really were different this time. Wynne had used the “L” word, and she needed to trust that before deciding for herself that there really would be a tomorrow for them.

  “Okay.”

  “You said that someday you would tell me about Heather. Did you…fall out of love with her?”

  She wants to talk about this now? “No, I really wasn’t in love with her to begin with.”

  “But you lived together, right?”

  “Yeah, but it was…complicated.”

  Paula raised up on her elbow so she could see her lover’s face. “I really need to hear about it, Wynne.”

  Of course she did. Wynne blew out a deep breath, thinking about where to begin. “I met Heather right before my accident and we went out a couple of times, but I didn’t feel like things were going anywhere between us. Then when I had my accident, she was there in the hospital when I woke up; she moved into my house to take care of me; and she was with me all through the surgeries and the rehab. We got to be really good friends through it all. Once I let her do all that stuff for me, I owed her so much.”

  “So you became lovers?”

  “It was all she wanted. And I tried to be that for her but I couldn’t. You can’t just will your heart to love somebody.” She searched the green eyes for understanding, for acceptance. “Just like you can’t will your heart not to love somebody else.”

  “Did you ever tell her that you loved her?”

  Wynne nodded. “And I did…but it was more of a friendship kind of love. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I think so,” she sighed heavily. “But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t worry me a little that you betrayed her. I mean, she didn’t know that all you felt was friendship, right?”

  “Right,” Wynne conceded. “And I understand your doubts, really I do. But what I feel for you is different, Paula. It’s so much more, and it has been, almost from the very beginning.” She had hoped Paula could see this for herself in the way they’d made love.

  “This all feels like what it’s supposed to be, and if anything, it just shows me what all was missing from my relationship with Heather.”

  “It’s like we’re supposed to do this, and nothing else works.” That’s how Paula understood it, but her doubts weren’t going to go away overnight. Still, she wanted this with Wynne; she wanted to someday be confident that it was real and that she could trust her lover completely.

  “That’s exactly what it’s like.”

  “You’re not going to believe this, but I have to be at work in about six hours.” Monday’s uniform lay crumpled at the foot of the bed.

  “Lucky you. I have to be on a plane at 6:30, and I’m not even packed.”

  “I should go.” Slowly, she extricated her limbs from Wynne’s and rose from the bed.

  Wynne watched from the bed as her lover got dressed, then pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed. She couldn’t let Paula leave with her words of doubt still hanging in the air. Tying her robe around her waist, she moved behind the shorter woman and wrapped her arms around her middle. “I really do love you.”

  “I believe you.”

  ———

  For the second time in the last 10 minutes, Cheryl saw her colleague’s chin dip as she fought to stay awake. “Ms. Connelly, would you like some coffee, or would you prefer that I just sit here quietly for a while and let you catch a nap?” The twinkle in her eye told Wynne that she was teasing.

  Wynne shook her head and sat up straight, unhooking her seatbelt so that she could stretch. “I didn’t get much sleep. I should probably have another cup of coffee.”

  “You weren’t up working on this, were you?”

  “No,” Wynne answered, unable to suppress the blush and the smile as she thought back to her evening with Paula.

  “Oh, now that’s an interesting look,” Cheryl teased as the VP’s face turned redder. “I do believe you’ve met someone.”

  “Actually,” her smile broadened as she thought again of her evening, “it’s the same person I mentioned before. I think we’re going to work things out.”

  “That’s great news, Wynne. You want to tell me about her?”

  “She’s…her name’s Paula, and she’s the ops manager at the Weller Regent.”

  “Is that…? Wait a minute…you’ve been seeing her for awhile, haven’t you? I remember Ken saying something about running into the two of you at Jack Elam’s, but that was before you ever moved down here.”

  “Wow, there really aren’t any secrets at Eldon-Markoff, are there?”

  “Hey, I told you from Day 1: We’re a family. You should bring her to the Christmas party next week.”

  “You think it would be alright?”

  “Of course! I want to meet this woman! If she doesn’t come to the party, I’m going to have to show up at her house!”

  Wynne laughed aloud at that image, wondering whether Paula would rather face a holiday party or a one-on-one with her boss. “I’ll ask her.”

  “Good. Now why don’t you take a nap? I’ll wake you up when we start to land.”

  The tired executive didn’t need to be asked twice. In just a few minutes, she was sound asleep.

  ———

  For the hundredth time that day, Paula caught herself daydreaming and shook herself to snap out of it. Wynne was due back home tonight. They had spoken by phone several times over the week, each tentatively confirming with the other that they were headed in the right direction.

  The hotel had been relatively quiet over the last two weeks, the drop-off in holiday business travel evident from the near-empty lounge and restaurant. This gave the staff an opportunity to catch up on end-of-year paperwork and to get the jump on spring cleaning.

  In three short weeks, their conference season would be in full swing.

  From her small windowed office, Paula could see Stephanie across the hall behind her desk. Something big was going on — she could tell by the serious look on the hotel director’s face. Her boss had been on the phone for most of the afternoon. Whatever it was, they would all know soon enough.

  Paula debriefed with Belinda and Jon, the new Senior Shift Manager, as they started their shift. Ten more minutes and she was out of here for the next four days.

  “Paula, can I see you in my office?” Stephanie’s face was grave.

  “Of course.” Paula followed her inside, and the hotel director closed the door.

  “I’ve been on the phone all day with Vince Tolliver.”

  Chapter 20

  Wynne hurried off the plane to the taxi stand, rolling her bag behind her. She had planned to head home for a shower before calling Paula, but the message on her cell phone su
ggested that she come straight from the airport. Paula “needed to talk” and that had the executive’s stomach in knots. What could be wrong?

  Wynne paid the cabbie and dragged her bag up the stairs to the second-floor condo. She hoped her mother wasn’t watching out the window; she hadn’t planned to see her until tomorrow.

  “Hi.” Paula held open the door and reached out to take the suitcase. “Was it a good trip?”

  Wynne nodded nervously. No hug? No kiss?

  As if in answer, Paula wrapped her arms around the tall woman and pulled her close. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.”

  “Come and sit down. You must be tired. Are you hungry?”

  Wynne took a seat on the couch. “No, I ate on the plane. What’s up? You said we needed to talk.” They had talked each night on the phone and everything seemed fine.

  “I got some big news today, but I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone,” the blonde started as she sat down.

  “Oh yeah?” Wynne reached out absently to scratch the passing Slayer.

  “You remember I told you about the guy that I worked for in Denver, Vince Tolliver?”

  “You mean the one who got mad because Stephanie recruited you to come back?”

  “That’s the one.” Paula grabbed the cat and pulled him into her lap. “He called Stephanie today and he wants to return the favor.”

  “What favor?”

  “He’s just gotten the director’s job at the Weller Regent in San Francisco, and he wants me as his Senior Operations Manager. It’s the number two job in the hotel.”

  All of a sudden, Wynne felt nauseous. She couldn’t compete at all with an offer like that.

  “So you’d leave again.” It wasn’t a question.

  “It’s a really big promotion, Wynne. I could be running my own hotel in two years. If I stay here, it’ll be seven years before Stephanie retires.”

  Wynne nodded her understanding, all the while frowning at the implications. “What did you tell them?”

  “I have to let them know on Wednesday. I haven’t really made up my mind.”

  Wynne waited to hear more, but obviously Paula expected her to react to the news.

  Finally she answered. “I don’t want you to go, Paula. I feel like we just found each other again after being lost for a really long time.”

  “I know,” she agreed quietly. “It’ll only be for a couple of years, Wynne. We can still see each other. I’ve got four weeks vacation; my work schedule lets me off four days in a row.”

  “But what happens in two years? If things work out like you say, you’ll get your own hotel and you’ll go somewhere else.” She shook her head in resignation.

  Paula nudged Slayer off her lap and dropped to her knees, scooting over to kneel in front of the flustered woman. “I haven’t made up my mind yet. But I’d like to think that you and I could still have something no matter what I decide.”

  Wynne tugged her gently and Paula turned and climbed onto the couch, leaning back as the long arms wrapped around her waist. For the longest time, they sat without talking.

  Wynne couldn’t believe this turn of events. Everything she wanted had been within her grasp; now it was slipping away. But if Paula were to pass up this opportunity in order to be with her, it was really no different from what Heather had done. Wynne would always owe her, and she didn’t want Paula to ever wonder if the debt was what made her stay.

  “Paula?”

  “Hmmm?”

  “What if…?”

  “What if what?”

  “What if I came to San Francisco too?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean what if I asked Eldon-Markoff to move me to the new agency out there? I probably wouldn’t get to keep the VP post, but it would still be a good marketing job.”

  Paula sat up and turned around, her eyes full of surprise. “You’d give up your job and come with me?”

  “Well, maybe not right away. But after you get settled and you’re sure you like it. And we’re sure that….”

  Paula couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The sheer magnitude of Wynne’s offer was astounding. She was willing to walk away from her job as a corporate VP just to be with her.

  “Wynne, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just think about it. We have a couple of days.” Wynne felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. Paula was far more important than a job — any job. “I do love you, Paula.”

  “I love you too,” she answered, fighting back tears. “Stay here tonight.”

  ———

  Wynne awakened to the strangest, most wonderful sensation. She was lying on her back in Paula’s bed with the petite woman draped across her body, the blonde hair tucked beneath her chin. Slayer rested on the pillow, purring softly in her ear. There were no alarms, no planes to catch, nothing to pull her away from the comfort of this embrace.

  Paula wiggled in response to the awakening muscles underneath her, instinctively drawing closer before she became cognizant of where she was. She had lain awake last night after their lovemaking, after the slow deep breathing told her that Wynne had fallen asleep. Remembering what they’d talked about, she couldn’t believe that she could have her cake and eat it too. She could hold the number two spot in one of Weller Regent’s top hotels and come home to this every night. That was hard to beat.

  “You awake?” Wynne gently caressed the soft shoulders.

  “Yeah.” Paula lifted her head and chuckled at the contented cat. “I see you have a visitor.”

  “He’s such a doll,” Wynne cooed. “So are you.”

  “You too.” Paula cuddled again. “You know, I still can’t get over you being willing to give up your job and move with me.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m not letting you go, Paula McKenzie. You can run, but I’m going to follow you wherever you go.”

  Paula squeezed her tightly. “You made the decision easy, Wynne. Thank you.”

  “When do you have to be there?”

  “I’m not going.”

  The tall woman blinked and struggled to sit up. “You’re what?”

  “I’m not going. There are a lot more important things in this world than jumping through all the hoops to get to the top of a hotel hierarchy. I’ll get there eventually, but if all I have is a job, what’s it worth?”

  “But a job isn’t all you’d have, Paula. I told you I’d go.”

  “I know, and knowing that you were willing to do that showed me what I needed to know.”

  Wynne shook her head in confusion.

  “Look, before we talked last night, I was afraid not to take it. I knew if I turned it down and things didn’t work out between us, I’d resent you for it, and be angry with myself for making the wrong decision. But with you willing to give up your job to go with me, I realized that you were really serious about us, really committed to it. I didn’t know it, but that’s what I needed to see.”

  “So we’re not going?”

  “Nope, we’re not going. And by the way, Stephanie Anderson is going to want to meet you so she can kiss your feet.”

  “And I think Cheryl Williams will want to kiss yours if she ever finds out how close I came to leaving.”

  Paula gently pushed her lover back against the pillows, settling herself in the crook of the long arm. “This is right for us, Wynne. Moving up at WR wasn’t all that important to me until you left. Before that, I was perfectly happy to stay here, do a good job, and wait for an opening so I could move up another notch. It was only when I thought that work was all I was ever going to have that I decided I had have it all, and as fast as I could get it.”

  “So you’re okay to bide your time and wait for something here?”

  “As long as I get to have you in my life.”

  “Then I’d say we have a deal.”

  Slayer stood and stretched his long body, hoping in vain that someone might offer a scratch. Maybe he’d go poke around in the kitchen
and see if there was any of that canned beef left over from last night. It was probably going to be a while before anyone would think to ask if he was ready for his breakfast.