Rise (War Witch Book 1)

by Cain S. Latrani

  "Talk about what?" the big Cat asked back.

  "What's got you so down," the Captain smiled softly. "I can tell something's eating at you."

  Esteban scowled a bit. "How is that possible?"

  "Normally, you're more sarcastic," Rills chuckled. "Today, you're just quiet."

  "I really am easy to see through, aren't I?" he sighed.

  "Only because you wear your emotions on your sleeve," the other man shrugged. "Which isn't a bad thing. I like that about you, really. Means you're an honest person."

  Giving an uncertain nod, Esteban took a deep breath, figuring he may as well get another opinion. "Chara and I had a fight this morning. A rather loud one. I think I may've driven her away from me."

  Rills patted him on the shoulder. "Welcome to dating, big guy."

  "No, I mean, I think we may not be together anymore," he said softly.

  "If I had a copper for every time my wife left me, I'd be rich," Toms chuckled. "It was just a fight. Don't worry over it. When two folks love each other, one fight isn't the end of the world."

  "I wish I could be so certain," the Were replied sadly. "The thing is, I'm not sure we're right for each other to begin with. She wants to continue on, with Ramora, in search of Draco. I don't think it's a wise idea for us to get any further involved."

  Rills whistled. "That's a pretty big deal."

  "It is," he groaned. "Too big. We're just going to get killed if we stay with her, or worse. I want Chara to be safe, and for us to have a real life together. I don't know if she wants the same, though."

  The young Captain considered that for a moment. "You guys love each other, though, right?"

  "I know I love her," Esteban shrugged. "I'm not sure how she feels about me."

  "Ask her," Rakin said.

  Esteban gave the woman a pathetic look. "As if it were that simple."

  "It is," she told him. "Ask her. If she does, then she'll say so."

  "She could be trying to spare my feelings," he grumbled.

  "This Chara, I don't know her," the soldier said. "But I've heard about her from Rills, and read the reports of her actions during the battle at the castle. If she loves you, trust me, she'll say so. She seems like the straight-forward type."

  "Perhaps," he replied slowly. "It's just, I don't know, but I think she may be in love with someone else."

  "Who's she share her bed with, them or you?" Rakin asked.

  Esteban flattened his ears. "Me, obviously, but I don't see what that has to do with anything."

  The soldier gave him a grin. "Trust me, it does."

  "All of this is beside the point, really," Rills offered. "The question here, Esteban, is do you love her?"

  "I do, yes, very much," he told the officer.

  "Enough?" Rills asked.

  Esteban frowned. "Enough for what?"

  "Enough for everything," he said. "Enough to risk getting your heart broken. Enough to go places you fear to tread. Enough to face the hordes of Hell. Enough to face death. Cause that's what love is, big guy. When you find the strength to face all your fears, just to be by their side. That's loving someone enough."

  As Esteban considered that, Vernit sighed, saying, "I want someone to love me enough."

  "Don't we all?" Rakin chuckled.

  "So," Rills pressed. "Do you love her enough?"

  "I do," the big Cat said quietly. "I really do."

  "Then forget about the rest, cause there's where you'll find what you need to do," the Captain shrugged.

  "So I have," Esteban smiled. "Thank you, my friend."

  "All in a day’s work for the Lansing City Guard Mystic Cannon Defense Squad," he grinned, giving Esteban a salute, realized he used the wrong hand, yet again, and quickly corrected.

  Feeling more at peace, Esteban spent the rest of the day with them. He would talk to Chara later, after she'd calmed down. Explain himself properly, and find a way forward, at her side. It was where he belonged, after all, and there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

  Ramora had spent the rest of the day laying on her bed, staring out the window as it rained. Tia had been sweet enough to bring her breakfast, as well as lunch, knowing the young woman under her care was obviously distraught over the death of the nice young man who'd been her friend. Appreciating the matronly Halfling's discreet manner, Ramora had thanked her with a smile.

  It wasn't just Leto's death that bothered her, though. It was everything that had come after it. Her acceptance that the best she could hope for was to end Draco as she died was unlike her, and she found that Chara had been right in calling her on it. She'd lost hope, given in to despair, and was running towards her own death.

  Somehow, she knew, Father wouldn't be pleased with her. Neither would Collette, watching over her from Paradise. They'd raised her better than that, to always believe, and never give in to darkness. Yet, she still could see no way forward that allowed her to slay the monster that had destroyed more lives than she could count, and live. He was too strong.

  Chara's anger over Esteban's suggestion was in line with the young woman's character, but Ramora couldn't help but feel she wasn't being rational about things. There was no need in her chasing after her own death as well. Not when she had so much life ahead of her.

  As a Blessed, she knew her life was going to be short, and end brutally. It was the nature of the Divine Mark. Chara on the other hand, didn't have to walk that road. She could go anywhere she wanted, be anything she wanted. She was certainly smart enough and confident enough. Why she would be so outraged over this baffled Ramora a bit.

  She doubted her friend still saw her as the big hero, and worshiped that image, as she had when they first met almost a year ago. She'd grown far too much for that to be the case. So, unless it was some sort of misplaced loyalty, she didn't get it. Who would so willingly throw themselves to their own death?

  Not that she had room to talk. She was doing the same. It was different for the Blessed, though. Throwing themselves to their death was what they did every day. It was their mission. It was why they channeled Divine Power. So others wouldn't have to die.

  Somehow, she needed to get her young friend to see that. Without words, she had to find a way to send Chara down a path that at least stood a chance of being happy, and living a full life. She owed her that much.

  Scowling at herself, she remembered what Chara had said. She didn't need any of that, just her. Closing her eyes, Ramora found she still regretted that they'd missed each other as they had. She'd come to love her young friend so much, her heart filled with pride at her courage and resourcefulness. She'd wanted to hold her, every night, make love to her, and know, for a brief span at least, that she'd had that in the Middle World.

  She'd wanted, more than anything, more than revenge on Draco, to get to savor what it was to be in love with another. The Ascended she'd grown up around, while freewheeling, hadn't experienced love as she had. They couldn't give themselves fully to just one other person, because they were demigods. Because of that, she'd never known what it was to be in love with someone who loved her back just as strongly.

  She'd wanted, many times, during their long trek north from Rheumer to give herself to the other woman, but she'd always hesitated, not sure Chara was ready for it. Then, when she'd seen she was, it was too late, and she had moved on, falling in love with another. She had wasted too much time. Now, it was far too late, no matter what her young friend said.

  She had to leave Chara and Esteban behind, for their own good. There was no other choice. She loved the young woman too much, and the Werejaguar was too good a friend to risk their lives in what she knew was a suicidal bid to stop Draco from growing any more powerful.

  It was all she could do to show them she cared. Though it made her heart ache beyond words that she wouldn't see Chara's smile anymore, or hear Esteban’s laughter, she had to do what was right for them. Even if they couldn't see it. Even if they hated her for it.

  Ramora laid on her bed, crying for hours ov
er the cruel reality of her choice. If only things had been different. If only Draco had never existed. A million alternate worlds played through her mind, each one brighter and happier than the one she dwelled in. She wished she could fly to them.

  Overcome with remorse for what could've been, Ramora stilled her tears, focusing instead on the memories she'd shared with her young friend. Everything they had seen in their travels, fresh and new to them both, as they discovered the world together. Those few, short months as they made their journey, just the two of them, had been the happiest she'd ever been.

  Shutting everything else out, she concentrated on that, remembering her smile, her laugh, wanting to sear it into her memory. Warmed by the recollections of the way they had curled together to sleep, her hand drifted down, slipping into her pants, as she imagined it was Chara's touch.

  Biting her lip, she massaged, wondering if the other woman would've done it the same way. Dreams of her lips, her tongue, the soft sounds of her moans and ecstatic cries filled her mind. Gasping, she pushed deeper, wishing it was real.

  She squirmed as she thought of Chara over her, the gentle brush of her thigh, drawing out pleasure, the feel of her body as she moved, the young woman’s breasts pressing into hers. She gave a silent groan as she felt imagined lips kissing her, holding her, a softly husky voice whispering words of love in her ear on warm breath.

  She couldn't stay there, though. Quickly, reality crowded in, stealing away her warm thoughts. Esteban filled her mind, holding Chara in his arms, and she felt guilt as her fingers went still. It was wrong, to be so selfish, and want someone whose heart belonged to another.

  Running a hand over her face, she tried to think of Leto, but it wasn't the same. It had been passion, but not love, which was what she yearned for. Her last sight of him, broken on the street, stole what little mood she had left for her daydreams.

  Tugging her hand free, she sat up, cursing that she always had to be such a damn realist. Even her erotic imaginings had to crash with all the subtly of a bucket of ice water. She kind of resented that, too. At the moment, she wanted some release, to push her sadness way, for a little while at least, and just feel comfort.

  It was an odd thing, she felt, that the Blessed often viewed life the way they did. Running from the horrors they'd seen in the arms of lovers, losing themselves to drink, or whatever other distraction they could come up with to dull the pain for a while. They were out of place in the world around them, often as not, even though they were there to save it.

  Running her fingers through her hair, she gave the quiet room an annoyed look for a moment, then frowned heavily. Dammit, the mood really was gone now. Even though she'd been starting to feel slightly better. Her imagination was as traitorous as her tongue.

  She felt her Rabbit sigh, chastising her for being so practical all the time. She gave it a shrug, pointing out she couldn't help it. It warbled that it knew, and loved her anyway. She was grateful, and felt slightly less alone.

  Deciding to take a bath, possibly a cold one, or warm if her brain wouldn't be a jerk, she put everything else away in her mind. She'd made her decision, and there was nothing left to do but carry through. One day, she was sure, Chara and Esteban both would forgive her.

  A few hours later, with the sky growing dark, she was coming out, drying her hair on a towel, when she heard a gentle knock at the door. Realizing the time, she wrapped the towel around herself and went to answer it, thinking it Tia with dinner. The little Halfling was far too gracious to her patrons, and Ramora had come to adore her and her wife both for their kindness, treating everyone under their roof as their own family.

  Opening the door, she found Izra standing there, wearing a simple white cotton dress, a serving tray in hand. The Deep Elf's eye skipped down for a beat, brightened, then came back up as she gave a grin, holding out the tray.

  "Dinner?"

  Ramora smiled a bit and took it, nodding for her to come on in as she set the meal aside. Izra closed the door behind her, leaning against it as Ramora checked and found the plate had been picked at. Giving the Elf a snide look, she took the small bottle of brandy and covered the food up, not overly hungry.

  "Sorry, it smelled good," Izra shrugged.

  Ramora waved it away, not worried about it as she had a drink, feeling the warmth ease her worries.

  "I wanted to stop by sooner," Izra said after a moment, her face clouding with sadness. "What with everything that's happened, I just couldn't."

  Feeling for her, having picked up on the special relationship she'd shared with Tanna, the warrior nodded and offered a soft smile. She hadn't been at her best, either, so she understood.

  "It's hard to believe she's really gone," the Elf said after a moment, still leaning against the door. "Tanna, I mean. I always assumed I'd be the one to go first. She had that special sight, you know. Always saw things before they got to her. Me, I'm just reckless and stupid. Yet, here I am, while she's not. Why do you think that is?"

  Ramora wasn't sure how to answer that. She didn't understand it, either. Giving the Elf an uncertain look, she touched the mark on her brow.

  "Yeah, I know," she replied, looking at the one that adorned the back of her right hand. "Because we're Blessed."

  The warrior set the bottle aside, having lost her taste for that as well.

  "Sorry," Izra said, catching the look that crossed the other woman’s face. "I know you're dealing with it, too. Leto, I mean. I know you guys were in love."

  Ramora offered a slightly embarrassed smile at that, shaking her head and signing out that that wasn't exactly true.

  "In lust then," the Elf corrected, smiling slightly. "For us, it's pretty much the same thing, isn't it?"

  She nodded at that, unable to argue the Blessed of Hepheron's point. They were agents of the Divine. They didn't get to fall in love, not really. It was too risky. The closest they got was just good old-fashioned lust. That brought a bitter smile to Ramora's face as she thought of Chara again.

  "It was the same for us, really," Izra admitted, her tone heavy with sorrow. "I mean, we loved each other, but it wasn't like real love. It was mostly lust. It helped us sleep. It was enough, to get through, you know?"

  Ramora nodded a little. Leto had helped her get through. She felt a little bad, knowing he'd wanted more than she could give. He seemed to understand that, though, and she was comforted by it, to a degree.

  "I should leave you alone," Izra said after a moment. "I just wanted to come by and say I'm sorry. If I hadn't frozen up, Leto would still be alive."

  Ramora had to move quick to catch the Elf by the arm and draw her back. Shaking her head, she told her to stay. She’d been alone enough for one day, and felt her friend had as well.

  "Probably," the Elf nodded, eyes weary. "It's been hard, Ramora. I'm tired, but I can't seem to sleep. Isn't that stupid?"

  Her voice cracking at the last, Ramora drew her in, holding Izra as she wept. She gave the door a soft kick to swing it shut. No one should happen by and see a Blessed in such a state. No one should see how weak they really were. How fragile and mortal.

  Izra sank into her, clutching at her, overwhelmed with grief. Tanna had been more than her lover, she'd been her best friend. With her gone, the Elf felt lost, alone, and more afraid than she'd ever been. In the warrior priestess’ arms, she found an ounce of comfort, and clung to it desperately.

  Rocking her gently, Ramora let her cry until she couldn't anymore, her soft sniffles stilling as her wave of loss passed. Pulling away, Izra wiped her eyes and tried to smile.

  "We're such tiny things, aren't we?" she asked. "Trying to grasp around in the dark for something to hold on to, falling apart when we lose it, and clutching at the next thing we find. Forgive me for being a burden on you. I know you're grieving, too."

  Ramora brushed the Elf's hair back from her face and smiled, shaking her head. It was alright. She was tired of being alone with her pain. It felt easier to shoulder with someone else there with her.
r />   "Thanks," the other woman said. "But I should probably like, let you get dressed, or something."

  Ramora remembered she was wearing nothing but a towel, and shrugged. Izra snickered a bit at that, the offhand way she blew the matter off cute to her eyes. Of course, she'd always found the Blessed of Ramor cute. Tanna had as well.

  "She liked you a lot, you know," she said slowly. "Tanna. She thought you were pretty. Kind of wanted to get in your pants, too."

  Ramora grinned, giving Izra a coy look and a wink, making the Elf laugh.

  "Trust me, you'd have enjoyed it," she said.

  Giving her a soft poke in the stomach, the Blessed of Ramor gave her another sly wink.

  "Now that's a tempting offer," Izra said, giving her another appreciative look. "Especially right now. So, you know, don't tease."

  The warrior leaned against the bedpost for a moment. She'd only been half-teasing. Looking around the room for a moment in uncertainty, her cornflower eyes turned back to meet the Elf's garnet ones, and she smiled timidly.

  She didn't want to be alone. More than anything, she wanted to feel another’s touch. To lose herself, for a little while at least, in something other than her sadness. She needed it, the silence in her mind that it brought.

  Izra stepped over and leaned in to kiss her tenderly, savoring the feel of her lips. Ramora welcomed it, eager to quiet her mind. The Elf smelled good, her dark toffee skin gleaming in the lamplight appealing as she pulled back, studying Ramora's face carefully.

  "You want this?" she asked quietly.

  Ramora nodded and wrapped her arms around the other woman to pull her back in.

  Izra nuzzled against her neck for a moment. "I want it, too. Is that okay?"

  Kissing her ear to answer her question, Ramora felt her arms snake around the Elf’s waist, pulling her snug.

  "I just can't be alone another night," the Elf whimpered. "It's okay to not want that right now, isn't it?"

  Leaning back to look into her eyes, finding such sadness, she nodded, stroking her face. It was okay. It was always okay to find comfort, even if it was just passing. The world was too cruel, their lives too short, for it not to be okay.