The Raffles Megapack

by E. W. Hornung

  “I knew it!”

  “Of course you did, Bunny; so did I, down in that strong-room; but old Ewbank didn’t, and I thought he was never going to speak again.

  “‘You’re delirious,’ he says at last. ‘Who in blazes do you think you are?’

  “‘The new manager.’

  “‘The new manager’s in bed and asleep upstairs.’

  “‘When did he arrive?’

  “‘This evening.’

  “‘Call himself Raffles?’

  “‘Yes.’

  “‘Well, I’m damned!’ whispered the real man. ‘I thought it was just revenge, but now I see what it was. My dear sir, the man upstairs is an imposter—if he’s upstairs still! He must be one of the gang. He’s going to rob the bank—if he hasn’t done so already!’

  “‘If he hasn’t done so already,’ muttered Ewbank after him; ‘if he’s upstairs still! By God, if he is, I’m sorry for him!’

  “His tone was quiet enough, but about the nastiest I ever heard. I tell you, Bunny, I was glad I’d brought that revolver. It looked as though it must be mine against his, muzzle to muzzle.

  “‘Better have a look down here, first,’ said the new manager.

  “‘While he gets through his window? No, no, he’s not down here.’

  “‘It’s easy to have a look.’

  “Bunny, if you ask me what was the most thrilling moment of my infamous career, I say it was that moment. There I stood at the bottom of those narrow stone stairs, inside the strong-room, with the door a good foot open, and I didn’t know whether it would creak or not. The light was coming nearer—and I didn’t know! I had to chance it. And it didn’t creak a bit; it was far too solid and well-hung; and I couldn’t have banged it if I tried, it was too heavy; and it fitted so close that I felt and heard the air squeeze out in my face. Every shred of light went out, except the streak underneath, and it brightened. How I blessed that door!

  “‘No, he’s not down there,’ I heard, as though through cotton-wool; then the streak went out too, and in a few seconds I ventured to open once more, and was in time to hear them creeping to my room.

  “Well, now there was not a fifth of a second to be lost; but I’m proud to say I came up those stairs on my toes and fingers, and out of that bank (they’d gone and left the door open) just as gingerly as though my time had been my own. I didn’t even forget to put on the hat that the doctor’s mare was eating her oats out of, as well as she could with a bit, or it alone would have landed me. I didn’t even gallop away, but just jogged off quietly in the thick dust at the side of the road (though I own my heart was galloping), and thanked my stars the bank was at that end of the township, in which I really hadn’t set foot. The very last thing I heard was the two managers raising Cain and the coachman. And now, Bunny—”

  He stood up and stretched himself, with a smile that ended in a yawn. The black windows had faded through every shade of indigo; they now framed their opposite neighbors, stark and livid in the dawn; and the gas seemed turned to nothing in the globes.

  “But that’s not all?” I cried.

  “I’m sorry to say it is,” said Raffles apologetically. “The thing should have ended with an exciting chase, I know, but somehow it didn’t. I suppose they thought I had got no end of a start; then they had made up their minds that I belonged to the gang, which was not so many miles away; and one of them had got as much as he could carry from that gang as it was. But I wasn’t to know all that, and I’m bound to say that there was plenty of excitement left for me. Lord, how I made that poor brute travel when I got among the trees! Though we must have made it over fifty miles from Melbourne, we had done it at a snail’s pace; and those stolen oats had brisked the old girl up to such a pitch that she fairly bolted when she felt her nose turned south. By Jove, it was no joke, in and out among those trees, and under branches with your face in the mane! I told you about the forest of dead gums? It looked perfectly ghostly in the moonlight. And I found it as still as I had left it—so still that I pulled up there, my first halt, and lay with my ear to the ground for two or three minutes. But I heard nothing—not a thing but the mare’s bellow and my own heart. I’m sorry, Bunny; but if ever you write my memoirs, you won’t have any difficulty in working up that chase. Play those dead gum-trees for all they’re worth, and let the bullets fly like hail. I’ll turn round in my saddle to see Ewbank coming up hell-to-leather in his white suit, and I’ll duly paint it red. Do it in the third person, and they won’t know how it’s going to end.”

  “But I don’t know myself,” I complained. “Did the mare carry you all the way back to Melbourne?”

  “Every rod, pole or perch! I had her well seen to at our hotel, and returned her to the doctor in the evening. He was tremendously tickled to hear that I had been bushed; next morning he brought me the paper to show me what I had escaped at Yea!”

  “Without suspecting anything?”

  “Ah!” said Raffles, as he put out the gas; “that’s a point on which I’ve never made up my mind. The mare and her color was a coincidence—luckily she was only a bay—and I fancied the condition of the beast must have told a tale. The doctor’s manner was certainly different. I’m inclined to think he suspected something, though not the right thing. I wasn’t expecting him, and I fear my appearance may have increased his suspicions.”

  I asked him why.

  “I used to have rather a heavy moustache,” said Raffles, “but I lost it the day after I lost my innocence.”

  WILFUL MURDER

  Of the various robberies in which we were both concerned, it is but the few, I find, that will bear telling at any length. Not that the others contained details which even I would hesitate to recount; it is, rather, the very absence of untoward incident which renders them useless for my present purpose. In point of fact our plans were so craftily laid (by Raffles) that the chances of a hitch were invariably reduced to a minimum before we went to work. We might be disappointed in the market value of our haul; but it was quite the exception for us to find ourselves confronted by unforeseen impediments, or involved in a really dramatic dilemma. There was a sameness even in our spoil; for, of course, only the most precious stones are worth the trouble we took and the risks we ran. In short, our most successful escapades would prove the greatest weariness of all in narrative form; and none more so than the dull affair of the Ardagh emeralds, some eight or nine weeks after the Milchester cricket week. The former, however, had a sequel that I would rather forget than all our burglaries put together.

  It was the evening after our return from Ireland, and I was waiting at my rooms for Raffles, who had gone off as usual to dispose of the plunder. Raffles had his own method of conducting this very vital branch of our business, which I was well content to leave entirely in his hands. He drove the bargains, I believe, in a thin but subtle disguise of the flashy-seedy order, and always in the Cockney dialect, of which he had made himself a master. Moreover, he invariably employed the same “fence,” who was ostensibly a money-lender in a small (but yet notorious) way, and in reality a rascal as remarkable as Raffles himself. Only lately I also had been to the man, but in my proper person. We had needed capital for the getting of these very emeralds, and I had raised a hundred pounds, on the terms you would expect, from a soft-spoken graybeard with an ingratiating smile, an incessant bow, and the shiftiest old eyes that ever flew from rim to rim of a pair of spectacles. So the original sinews and the final spoils of war came in this case from the self-same source—a circumstance which appealed to us both.

  But these same final spoils I was still to see, and I waited and waited with an impatience that grew upon me with the growing dusk. At my open window I had played Sister Ann until the faces in the street below were no longer distinguishable. And now I was tearing to and fro in the grip of horrible hypotheses—a grip that tightened when at last the lift-gates opened with a clatter outside—that held me breathless until a well-known tattoo followed on my door.

  “In the dar
k!” said Raffles, as I dragged him in. “Why, Bunny, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing—now you’ve come,” said I, shutting the door behind him in a fever of relief and anxiety. “Well? Well? What did they fetch?”

  “Five hundred.”

  “Down?”

  “Got it in my pocket.”

  “Good man!” I cried. “You don’t know what a stew I’ve been in. I’ll switch on the light. I’ve been thinking of you and nothing else for the last hour. I—I was ass enough to think something had gone wrong!”

  Raffles was smiling when the white light filled the room, but for the moment I did not perceive the peculiarity of his smile. I was fatuously full of my own late tremors and present relief; and my first idiotic act was to spill some whiskey and squirt the soda-water all over in my anxiety to do instant justice to the occasion.

  “So you thought something had happened?” said Raffles, leaning back in my chair as he lit a cigarette, and looking much amused. “What would you say if something had? Sit tight, my dear chap! It was nothing of the slightest consequence, and it’s all over now. A stern chase and a long one, Bunny, but I think I’m well to windward this time.”

  And suddenly I saw that his collar was limp, his hair matted, his boots thick with dust.

  “The police?” I whispered aghast.

  “Oh, dear, no; only old Baird.”

  “Baird! But wasn’t it Baird who took the emeralds?”

  “It was.”

  “Then how came he to chase you?”

  “My dear fellow, I’ll tell you if you give me a chance; it’s really nothing to get in the least excited about. Old Baird has at last spotted that I’m not quite the common cracksman I would have him think me. So he’s been doing his best to run me to my burrow.”

  “And you call that nothing!”

  “It would be something if he had succeeded; but he has still to do that. I admit, however, that he made me sit up for the time being. It all comes of going on the job so far from home. There was the old brute with the whole thing in his morning paper. He knew it must have been done by some fellow who could pass himself off for a gentleman, and I saw his eyebrows go up the moment I told him I was the man, with the same old twang that you could cut with a paper-knife. I did my best to get out of it—swore I had a pal who was a real swell—but I saw very plainly that I had given myself away. He gave up haggling. He paid my price as though he enjoyed doing it. But I felt him following me when I made tracks; though, of course, I didn’t turn round to see.”

  “Why not?”

  “My dear Bunny, it’s the very worst thing you can do. As long as you look unsuspecting they’ll keep their distance, and so long as they keep their distance you stand a chance. Once show that you know you’re being followed, and it’s flight or fight for all you’re worth. I never even looked round; and mind you never do in the same hole. I just hurried up to Blackfriars and booked for High Street, Kensington, at the top of my voice; and as the train was leaving Sloane Square out I hopped, and up all those stairs like a lamplighter, and round to the studio by the back streets. Well, to be on the safe side, I lay low there all the afternoon, hearing nothing in the least suspicious, and only wishing I had a window to look through instead of that beastly skylight. However, the coast seemed clear enough, and thus far it was my mere idea that he would follow me; there was nothing to show he had. So at last I marched out in my proper rig—almost straight into old Baird’s arms!”

  “What on earth did you do?”

  “Walked past him as though I had never set eyes on him in my life, and didn’t then; took a hansom in the King’s Road, and drove like the deuce to Clapham Junction; rushed on to the nearest platform, without a ticket, jumped into the first train I saw, got out at Twickenham, walked full tilt back to Richmond, took the District to Charing Cross, and here I am! Ready for a tub and a change, and the best dinner the club can give us. I came to you first, because I thought you might be getting anxious. Come round with me, and I won’t keep you long.”

  “You’re certain you’ve given him the slip?” I said, as we put on our hats.

  “Certain enough; but we can make assurance doubly sure,” said Raffles, and went to my window, where he stood for a moment or two looking down into the street.

  “All right?” I asked him.

  “All right,” said he; and we went downstairs forthwith, and so to the Albany arm-in-arm.

  But we were both rather silent on our way. I, for my part, was wondering what Raffles would do about the studio in Chelsea, whither, at all events, he had been successfully dogged. To me the point seemed one of immediate importance, but when I mentioned it he said there was time enough to think about that. His one other remark was made after we had nodded (in Bond Street) to a young blood of our acquaintance who happened to be getting himself a bad name.

  “Poor Jack Rutter!” said Raffles, with a sigh. “Nothing’s sadder than to see a fellow going to the bad like that. He’s about mad with drink and debt, poor devil! Did you see his eye? Odd that we should have met him tonight, by the way; it’s old Baird who’s said to have skinned him. By God, but I’d like to skin old Baird!”

  And his tone took a sudden low fury, made the more noticeable by another long silence, which lasted, indeed, throughout an admirable dinner at the club, and for some time after we had settled down in a quiet corner of the smoking-room with our coffee and cigars. Then at last I saw Raffles looking at me with his lazy smile, and I knew that the morose fit was at an end.

  “I daresay you wonder what I’ve been thinking about all this time?” said he. “I’ve been thinking what rot it is to go doing things by halves!”

  “Well,” said I, returning his smile, “that’s not a charge that you can bring against yourself, is it?”

  “I’m not so sure,” said Raffles, blowing a meditative puff; “as a matter of fact, I was thinking less of myself than of that poor devil of a Jack Rutter. There’s a fellow who does things by halves; he’s only half gone to the bad; and look at the difference between him and us! He’s under the thumb of a villainous money-lender; we are solvent citizens. He’s taken to drink; we’re as sober as we are solvent. His pals are beginning to cut him; our difficulty is to keep the pal from the door. Enfin, he begs or borrows, which is stealing by halves; and we steal outright and are done with it. Obviously ours is the more honest course. Yet I’m not sure, Bunny, but we’re doing the thing by halves ourselves!”

  “Why? What more could we do?” I exclaimed in soft derision, looking round, however, to make sure that we were not overheard.

  “What more,” said Raffles. “Well, murder—for one thing.”

  “Rot!”

  “A matter of opinion, my dear Bunny; I don’t mean it for rot. I’ve told you before that the biggest man alive is the man who’s committed a murder, and not yet been found out; at least he ought to be, but he so very seldom has the soul to appreciate himself. Just think of it! Think of coming in here and talking to the men, very likely about the murder itself; and knowing you’ve done it; and wondering how they’d look if they knew! Oh, it would be great, simply great! But, besides all that, when you were caught there’d be a merciful and dramatic end of you. You’d fill the bill for a few weeks, and then snuff out with a flourish of extra-specials; you wouldn’t rust with a vile repose for seven or fourteen years.”

  “Good old Raffles!” I chuckled. “I begin to forgive you for being in bad form at dinner.”

  “But I was never more earnest in my life.”

  “Go on!”

  “I mean it.”

  “You know very well that you wouldn’t commit a murder, whatever else you might do.”

  “I know very well I’m going to commit one tonight!”

  He had been leaning back in the saddle-bag chair, watching me with keen eyes sheathed by languid lids; now he started forward, and his eyes leapt to mine like cold steel from the scabbard. They struck home to my slow wits; their meaning was no longer in doubt. I, who knew
the man, read murder in his clenched hands, and murder in his locked lips, but a hundred murders in those hard blue eyes.

  “Baird?” I faltered, moistening my lips with my tongue.

  “Of course.”

  “But you said it didn’t matter about the room in Chelsea?”

  “I told a lie.”

  “Anyway you gave him the slip afterwards!”

  “That was another. I didn’t. I thought I had when I came up to you this evening; but when I looked out of your window—you remember? to make assurance doubly sure—there he was on the opposite pavement down below.”

  “And you never said a word about it!”

  “I wasn’t going to spoil your dinner, Bunny, and I wasn’t going to let you spoil mine. But there he was as large as life, and, of course, he followed us to the Albany. A fine game for him to play, a game after his mean old heart: blackmail from me, bribes from the police, the one bidding against the other; but he sha’n’t play it with me, he sha’n’t live to, and the world will have an extortioner the less. Waiter! Two Scotch whiskeys and sodas. I’m off at eleven, Bunny; it’s the only thing to be done.”

  “You know where he lives, then?”

  “Yes, out Willesden way, and alone; the fellow’s a miser among other things. I long ago found out all about him.”

  Again I looked round the room; it was a young man’s club, and young men were laughing, chatting, smoking, drinking, on every hand. One nodded to me through the smoke. Like a machine I nodded to him, and turned back to Raffles with a groan.

  “Surely you will give him a chance!” I urged. “The very sight of your pistol should bring him to terms.”

  “It wouldn’t make him keep them.”

  “But you might try the effect?”

  “I probably shall. Here’s a drink for you, Bunny. Wish me luck.”

  “I’m coming too.”

  “I don’t want you.”

  “But I must come!”

  An ugly gleam shot from the steel blue eyes.