White Lies: (The Uruwashi Series #4)

by Christina Moore

  Tristan felt more than saw Innokentiy recoil at that but he had more to say. “Xuejiao said her Master might be able to help. I could use help because the alternative is killing innocent shinwa and heikō on Lilith’s word. And not that I don’t believe her, but if I did what she wants me to… I’d have to kill her, too.” He pointed to Lilith who sat “watching” everything happen. “I’d have to kill your own niece. I don’t want to have to kill anyone.”

  Ash cleared her throat, looking away. Her face was hidden from Tristan now but he saw her expression before it was gone, she was at a loss. “Yes, well. Innokentiy is right, I burn inside and I think we have already asked too much of the sun. Let us speak again this evening.”

  Looking lost, sullen, beyond tired, Tristan only nodded.

  The Viking tugged at his shirt in an obvious gesture to mask his discomfort. “As soon as the sun sets I will go out and start the search for the pregnant surrogates.”

  “Innokentiy,” Tristan started and was stopped by a hand in the air.

  “No, I think it best. Whatever your decision, these shinwa and heikō should at least be identified. Some of them can even abort their child—hell, those that can’t might be desperate to try once they know that their baby is not meant to be…”

  Ash nodded her agreement, frowning hard as Innokentiy walked away, going to the far side of the cave. When they were alone Ash sighed at Tristan, going to him. She stopped close and looked up, waiting for him to meet her eyes. When he did, she smiled and wiggled a finger at him. That little gesture lit up his smile and he reached for her.

  Ash sighed wistfully as he ratcheted his arm around her waist and lifted her slightly, perching her on her toes. They met somewhere in between in a soft kiss. Her tongue tested the scab at the corner of his mouth and deciding it was still safe, she nudged his lips apart.

  He let out a tiny moan and opened for her, relishing the warmth of her mouth. So much of her was cold, uncomfortably so, really. But never her mouth. That was always warm and inviting and as Tristan explored it with his own hot mouth, he wished they never had to part.

  Ash was the first to pull back, giving Tristan’s bottom lip a little lick before breaking contact.

  “Love you,” he whispered, smoothing the hair from her face.

  Ash whispered a Greek word before smiling big, showing her fangs. “And I love you.” She paused a breath before adding, “Try to behave yourself during the day. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  He smiled even though his stomach turned and nodded.

  25: Decide for Self

  LILITH was sitting up in bed, her attention on Tristan as she rubbed her belly. In her larger body she seemed less pregnant, almost unperceivable. Pregnant with a child Tristan was supposed to kill. Maybe she could abort it like Innokentiy had so practically suggested.

  God.

  He looked away quickly before forcing himself to look her in the face again. “You know, you look a lot like Ash,” he said, not really sure why.

  She only shifted slightly.

  “What? What do you want from me? What does your father want from me?” The anger was rising and it was so easy to take it out on the girl, even more so since she didn’t speak, but that wasn’t fair. And he knew it. So he forced himself to chill the fuck out and take a breath. “I know Jason is your father and the one who’s been fucking with us all this time. Don’t try to deny it.”

  And she didn’t. She didn’t even move a breath.

  Chewing on his cheek, he stared a moment. Maybe he should have gone to bed, pythia knew he was fucking beat. But his mind was too amped up after his ordeal. “You know where Apos is.” He didn’t make it a question because in his mind, there was zero doubt.

  “Of course,” the soft voice whispered in his ears.

  He stiffened, knowing she was talking to him without utilizing her vocal cords again and it was plain creepy. She obviously was speaking again, in real life, with her mouth, but she chose not to. Why?

  “If I ask, will you tell me?”

  He hadn’t even made it a conscious decision, but he knew the moment he knew where to find the kodaijin, he’d try to find him. Amunet didn’t want him to see her Master, but Xuejiao did. That was enough for him.

  The pythia shrugged, her expression impassive, unreadable. “Ask and find out.”

  He huffed. “Where is Apos?”

  Lilith was still a moment and then looked as if she let out a heavy sigh, though there was no noise to it. She lowered her head, rubbed her belly and then did that sigh again, looking up. She lifted her hand and pointed with a single, slender finger.

  Tristan turned and started when Lance came tumbling into the cave behind him, snow dripping off him to melt in the tepid environment.

  “Uh, sorry, sorry! I’m late, I know I am. But I guess you knew I would be…”

  Lilith shook her head as if to say it’s okay and she motioned for him go to Tristan. The fae went right up to him, huffing and puffing and smelling of snow and… basil?

  “Sorry, here,” the fae said as he shoved an envelope into Tristan’s hand. “Your passport’s in there, some American dollars, in case you need to buy something on the ground, a new ID that you don’t have to use if you don’t want, a ma—”

  “Wait, what?” Tristan turned so he could look at Lance and Lilith both. “US money?”

  The fae looked nervous, glancing at the girl as if he expected her to answer but she didn’t and Lance sighed. “Um. Yukihime left me behind to serve you and Ash. I’m only doing my job.”

  “I got that before, dude. You’re taking me home?”

  The fae looked constipated. “Uh… no. Um, I thought you knew…” He looked to Lilith for help but of course the pythia wouldn’t give him any. In fact, she smiled, just a little and Lance deflated. “I’m supposed to take just you wherever I’m told. Lilith told me to take you to Alaska, so I am. Um… well, anything you need, you just ask, otherwise that’s all I’m supposed to do.”

  Alaska? Tristan glanced at Lilith, then back to Lance. “All right, then. Let’s go.”

  The fae looked startled but Lilith’s smile broadened. She offered him a single decisive nod and then lay down to sleep. She would watch over the vampires in their daytime sleep. She would tell them when they awoke that Tristan was gone. Ash, she’d be fucking pissed, yeah, but Tristan believed, ultimately, that’d she’d understand. And Innokentiy would be with her; he’d take on her anger and, hopefully, calm her.

  Or they’d both hunt him down together and crush him. He smiled, happy they’d found each other. Tristan liked Innokentiy, but couldn’t say why. The man was unstable at times and might kill him by accident but Tristan knew he never really meant him or Ash harm. Innokentiy was a strong ally to have.

  Seated in the luxury car next to Lance, on their way to the airport, Tristan sighed. He could see the fae focus on him from the corner of his eye and turned to look at him.

  Lance offered him a smile. “You’ll have time to sleep on the plane.”

  “Do I look that bad?”

  The fae smiled but tried to hide it by dipping his head. “Would you be angry if I said yes?”

  Tristan’s laugh surprised him but Lance gave over to his smile, grinning all teeth. “You’re all right.”

  This got him a blush and Tristan hoped the fae didn’t misunderstand. With another sigh he rested his head on the window and watched the world go by. With a start and a gross feeling in the pit of his stomach he couldn’t explain, he realized he hadn’t been in daylight like this in ages. When he did go out while Ash slept it was so late in the day that it might as well have been night.

  “God,” he sighed, “winter blows.”

  Not knowing Tristan’s thoughts, Lance glanced at him. “Sorry, it’s even colder in Alaska. And it’ll be about,” Lance’s green eyes flicked to the clock on the dash. “Hmm, about midnight local time, give or take, when we land.”

  He sighed. “You know, when Ash finds out you’re helping me, she
might pop your head right off your neck. She’s going to be fucking pissed.”

  Lance actually chuckled and Tristan felt some of his wound up tension ease. “Maybe, but it’s worth the risk.”

  Okay, the tension was amping up again. “Er… what?”

  The fae glanced at him looking nervous. “You’re important, Tristan.” He paused, letting the words settle. “You know that, right?”

  Tristan looked away quickly. “Do you know?” He forced himself to look at the other man again. “What I have to do? About the—”

  “Vessels?” Lance supplemented for him when Tristan seemed at a loss for words. And as far as words go, it was a nice, benign one. “I do.”

  “You think it’s fucked up too.”

  Lance’s laugh was forced and made Tristan tense. “Yeah, it’s fucked up.” After a second’s hesitation, Lance quickly added. “Er, don’t tell my old lady I cussed.”

  Tristan chuckled at that then they fell into a lull. The silence dragged on and when Tristan realized that Lance wasn’t going to ask the inevitable “what are you going to do” he managed to force himself to relax again. By the time they reached the airport and the private hanger, Tristan was dead on his feet. His mind was utterly empty, a blessing if anything.

  Lance took a few minutes to tend to all of Tristan’s wounds, forced a healing potion from Lilith on him. Thoroughly fae-handled, Tristan fell into one of the deep bucket seats and was out before the wheels even left the ground. And he didn’t wake again until a soft voice and firm hand shook him awake.

  He was startled, but happy he didn’t pull his gun on the fae.

  Lance smiled apologetically. “We’re here, a little later than expected, but here. Sleep well?”

  The last was asked with a smirk and Tristan looked around, trying to ground himself. “Er… yeah. How long?” He stretched his leg and realized his knee didn’t hurt at all. His broken finger ached but that was all, just an ache.

  Lance grinned. “It’s one-twenty local time. We were in the air almost nine hours.”

  “Fuck,” Tristan sighed. But, yeah, he felt a ton better. Like he could face the day with optimism. And as quickly as the thought hit him, so did all of the angst, his experiences of the past week, months, year.

  “So,” Lance said, looking nervous, “We’re late, but by the time you get to the location, it’ll be daylight—we knew that going in, it’ll just be a little later... I recommend spending the rest of dark hours either here on the plane resting or go into town and get a room, a good meal. You can travel during the day and reach Apos shortly before dark if you leave at about nine AM. Don’t forget your passport and ID, never know when you’ll need them. Your car is right out there on the tarmac, and the directions are in your envelope. Uh, yeah, you should stop and buy a warmer coat and gloves… um, what else was I supposed to—”

  The back door that led to the private bedroom opened and the others turned. Lance didn’t look anywhere near as surprised as Tristan and went to greet their guest.

  “We there yet?” Simon asked in his shortest sentence ever, scrubbing a fist over his eyes. “I’m starved.”

  “What—” Tristan stammered and stopped when green eyes darkened with what could only be anger stopped him.

  “I’m your bodyguard,” Simon said with a nasty bite.

  Fuck. He knows about Sebastian. Or more rightly, whatever Yuki or Desmond told him. “Listen, Simon, I—”

  “We need to go. I’ve got my orders and I won’t betray Master.” He stomped past Tristan and Lance muttering, “I’d never betray those I’ve promised to protect.”

  Tristan wasn’t sure he understood Simon exactly and let out his held breath. When he looked to Lance, the fae just shrugged and turned away.

  “Fuck me,” Tristan muttered, running a hand through his hair.

  Lance came back with that same sorry grimace and handed Tristan a duffle bag. It was heavier than it looked and Tristan most dropped it.

  “Uh, it’s a few knives with holsters, your better gun holster with a second gun and a new katana. You can’t walk around wearing them, but you’ll be able to put them on before you reach Apos, I think. I actually… I’d like to go with you. I think I could help but I have my orders.”

  Tristan hefted the bag, nodding and then stopped short. “Wait, whose orders?”

  Lance looked down to his feet. “I’m not supposed to say.”

  Tristan took a big step forward, not meaning to intimidate the small man but damn well needing to make a point clear. “It’s Jason again, isn’t it?”

  Bless the little man, but he didn’t even flinch. “Tristan, please, I can’t.”

  “Just trying to understand where your loyalties are… who I can trust.”

  This time Lance did flinch and jerked his head up. “I… Yes.” He started nodding. “I understand.”

  They stared for a minute before Tristan lowered his head and sighed. In passing, he gave Lance’s slender shoulder a squeeze. “Yeah, me too.”

  “Oh,” Lance said as Tristan took his first step outside into the cold. “One more thing.”

  Lance approached him with a warm smile as he reached into his back pocket. “Don’t know how I nearly forgot that, been sitting on that pain in my butt forever now.”

  Tristan wrinkled his nose at the new cell phone. He’d been addicted to his at home, in Maryland, but ditched it when he fell out with everyone he knew. Why carry a phone when you didn’t have anyone to talk to? “Who else has the number?”

  The pointy tips of Lance’s ears went bright red to match his hair. “Yukihime.”

  “Figured.”

  Lance cleared his throat. “My number’s in there too. So’s Ash, Desmond, and Simon. Oh and Wren.”

  Tristan flinched. “Wren?”

  The fae shrugged with a sly smile and wink. “The others don’t know, so keep it a secret.”

  He looked at the phone in his hand. “And Ash?”

  “I left her phone with Lilith.” He glanced at his watch. “They’re seven hours behind us, they should be up by now—but only by an hour or so. Hopefully Lilith remembered the phone. I can’t imagine her having forgotten anyway. Oh right, Innokentiy got one too.”

  Tristan’s frown deepened as he realized what the fae was trying to say while maintaining tact and Tristan thumbed the button to show the display. No missed calls. Back in Akita Ash had been up for long enough and hadn’t tried to call him. So either Lilith forgot the phone, withheld it for whatever nefarious reasons or, more likely, Tristan worried, Ash was fucking pissed at him.

  Well, she had every right to be. And while Tristan felt guilty for it, he knew it was the right thing to do and didn’t regret it. Either she would catch up to him or he would with her. Of course, the third option was far more likely, that he’d die here at the hands of the absolute oldest living vampire.

  “God, I’m a fucking idiot,” Tristan muttered.

  Lance only looked at him in confusion and Tristan offered him a smile, turning away to leave. There was a boxy SUV sitting almost literally at the end of the plane steps. Bracing himself for the worst, Tristan got in next to Simon.

  The young fae was stiff and looking angry as shit, gripping the wheel with two hands but said nothing and they were on their way.

  After five tense moments, Simon bit out, “Do you want to get a room or eat before we head out?”

  Tristan huffed, turning in his seat to look at the kid. “Simon—”

  “Don’t,” Simon snapped. “I’m here because it’s my job. But we don’t have to talk, we don’t have to be friends or even like one another.” He glanced at Tristan. “I don’t even have to be nice to you. But I will because I’m not that person, but I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me that’s got anything to do with anything but this mission.”

  Simon was back to his long winded speeches but without the spunk he had before. The guilt was a knot of ferocity in Tristan’s belly. Any other time he might have amicably given up, ha
ppy to just drop it. But he wasn’t that person anymore, he’d been changed so much and the further he slipped into the darkness he realized he couldn’t not put up a big fuss and fight for what he believed in.

  “You hate me. And that’s fine but I have to tell you what happened. Not just for me but for everyone’s sake. I owe it to Ash and that poor woman in France, you… You don’t have to answer but you deserve to know. After I’ve said my peace, then fine, we can go back to not talking to each other.”

  The fae frowned at him but didn’t tell him to go fuck himself.

  “Your brother—Sebastian, he was a good man. At least I’d thought so at first. Yeah, he was a little snarky without being obvious, with this odd sort of humor but he betrayed me. Us. Sebastian betrayed Yuki and Ash and me. He killed a woman—actually, I think she was an elf, right in front of me. Tortured and murdered her.”

  Simon flinched in his seat, his complexion suddenly white.

  “Then he tortured Ash and me. I think he even—” Tristan stopped short, shocked. What was it he was about to say? Sebastian did what to him?

  Frowning, thinking he knew exactly what he was saying and realizing it held weight to it, Tristan bit the comment back. “Yes, Lucien coaxed him to the dark side but Sebastian chose to give in, to be a man who hurt people on purpose. Ruefully.”

  Tristan looked to the kid and felt terrible he had to give him these truths but if he didn’t let it all out, he was going to choke on the truth.

  “So the end he got, really, it was merciful compared to the pain he caused.”

  This time when Simon flinched, the car went with him and in his panic, the fae pulled over to the sound of angry honks and shouts.

  “Okay… I need a minute,” the fae said on a pant. He looked like he was about to hyperventilate. “You—You’re saying he really did that stuff… hurt people? On purpose?”

  Tristan shut his eyes and let out a long breath. “Yes.”

  “He hurt you?”

  He forced himself to open his eyes. He owed it to the kid to make eye contact. “Yes.” The fact that he thought the man did more than simply beat him was still a lump of disgust in the back of Tristan’s throat. Dreams, there was truth in dreams, he believed that.