“That’s the second time you’ve insulted a superior officer in such a way,” O warned. “He is well within his rights to have you formally reprimanded for that.”
“Yeah, you sweaty little taint,” agreed EQK.
I scoffed and shook my head.
“You know what,” I said with a laugh, “go ahead and formally reprimand me. I don’t care. He calls me names all the time, but nobody seems to care about that, do they?”
“I’m a fucking pixie, you goat fucker,” EQK bellowed. “It’s part of my culture to call people names!”
“Yeah?” I shot back in a moment of inspiration. “Well, I’m an amalgamite, and it’s part of my nature to retaliate when tiny sphincter smudges call me names!”
I had the sense that they were all scrutinizing my words, but I kept my visage stone cold.
“For real?” EQK trilled.
“As far as you know,” I answered.
“Hmmm.”
“Regardless of your cultural norms, Mr. Dex,” O said slowly, “you will show a little respect for the Directors when you are addressing us.”
“I was showing a little respect, sir,” I answered, keeping my eyes on the spot that EQK inhabited.
“I’m serious,” O said in a measured voice.
“Sir,” I said, turning to face O, “I will no longer allow myself to be subjected to verbal abuse from EQK, nor should you…at least without the ability to retaliate, of course.”
“Listen—”
“Sorry, sir, but no,” I interrupted him. “I just spent countless hours dealing with a pixie who put my squad through the ringer. One of my officers was nearly killed, my crew shot and ended the lives of five college-aged normals, and I had to go toe to toe with a pixie in a Joke-Off. I will not subject myself to—”
“You fought in a Joke-Off?” EQK interrupted.
“Yes.”
“And you won?”
“Obviously, corn hole,” I said and winced.
“I’m impressed,” EQK said in a voice that sounded shocked. “You’ve clearly got some skills if you won in a Joke-Off, especially against an uber.”
I’d had a fair bit of help, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. Fact was that if it weren’t for Gabe and his fancy little words, my crew and I would have been dead months ago. Hell, all of Vegas would have been under uber rule by now.
To put a notch in this bullshit “amalgamite culture” thing, I said, “I’m just coming to terms with my abilities in this area. It seems that it’s part of who I am.”
“Right on,” the pixie Director replied. “Fine, then. You can call me names all you want, nipple tongue.”
I turned and smiled smugly in the direction of O. He didn’t say anything in response, meaning I’d won this round.
“What’s your plan now?” Silver asked from his side of the room.
“Well, sir, seeing that you all refuse to provide me any semblance of help, I guess I’ll just sit around and wait for the next creature to show up. I’m sure that many people will die, but you have your secrets to keep.”
OK, so I wasn’t doing very well at keeping things bottled up. They had it coming, though, and their lack of objection to my little outbursts, aside from the name-calling, made it obvious that my assessment was correct.
“Mr. Dex,” Silver replied after a moment, “you are in a position of leadership. Therefore, you understand that you can’t always share everything with the people who work for you. This is not done because you wish to withhold information, and it’s not done because you have any desire to put those people in harm’s way. It’s done simply because there are things that are on a need-to-know basis.”
“Completely agree, sir,” I said with a nod.
“Good.”
“However, when those who work for me are dealing with a rusty turd hole like Rot, I give them everything they need to stay alive.”
“Rot?” yelled EQK, causing me to jump in my chair. “You faced fucking Rot?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “Why?”
“Rot’s supposed to be dead,” he hissed, but I could tell that it wasn’t directed at me. “He was supposed to have been killed during the raids. This should not be—”
“Enough, EQK!” admonished O, sounding fierce.
“Fuck you, O,” EQK cursed. “You can stick your magic wand up your ass for all I care. The fact that Rot was able to come back—”
“This meeting is over,” Zack barked.
The room went dark, leaving me sitting there all alone.
“What the hell was that all about?” I remarked to the empty room.
Obviously EQK knew who Rot was. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that every one of the Directors knew who he was. This was just like when Zack had a minor personality twitch regarding Rex, though EQK’s outburst was more pronounced.
There was damn sure something going on with these guys and the ubers. I just didn’t know what it could possibly be.
But I had the feeling that a certain vampire by the name of Gabe might be able to shed some light on things.
Chapter 33
I was downing a plate of wings and drinking iced tea this time at the Three Angry Wives Pub. Usually I’d get a Rusty Nail, but I had to pick up Rachel from her appointment with Dr. Vernon in a bit, and I wasn’t a fan of driving while under the influence.
To be honest, I was a little worried about what Rachel and the good doctor were discussing. Frankly, I was probably even more worried with the possibility that Rachel may haul off and knock Dr. Vernon’s block clear from her body. She promised she wouldn’t, but I had a feeling that she’d at least be giving Vernon a piece of her mind. I suppose technically that’s what you were supposed to do with shrinks.
Griff had been discharged and was home recovering with Chuck by his side. The surgeon said that he’d be allowed back to work in about a week. That would be a pretty impressive healing time for a normal, especially with the size of that bite mark, but for a super it seemed a bit lengthy. According to Chuck, the doctors told him that Rot’s pixie dust was laced with a magic inhibitor that thwarted standard healing potions and spells. That damn pixie had been a real piece of work. Fortunately, there had been a specialist at the hospital who happened to be a pixie herself. It took some doing, but she had created an antidote of sorts, explaining it needed time to work.
I glanced up from my plate at the sound of the door opening and spotted Gabe heading my way.
He was wearing a light gray suit this time. It matched the specks of gray in his hair.
Classy.
“Good evening,” he said, not even bothering to ask if he could join me. “I hope all is well?”
“Couldn’t be better,” I replied as I signaled the waiter over. “Bourbon, I assume?”
“Actually, no,” Gabe answered. “I think tonight I shall have a martini.”
I nodded at him admiringly. Gray suit and a martini?
“You having a midlife crisis or something?” I asked as the waiter walked over. “If you’re driving a Porsche, I’m going to be really worried.”
He smirked. “I had that a few hundred years ago.”
“Ah.” I held up a finger at him. “Could you get my pal here a martini, please? It’s on me. Oh, and go ahead and bring me the check when you’ve got a sec.”
The waiter headed off.
“Early evening?” Gabe asked, looking at my glass of tea.
“Picking up Rachel in a bit. Don’t want to drink and drive, you know?”
“Wise.” He studied his fingernails for a moment. “Glad to have her back with you?”
“Definitely better than being apart.” I then leaned back and crossed my arms. “So, are you ready to move past our bullshit idle chat and get to the meat and potatoes?”
“I see that Words is still running its course,” he said with a chuckle. “It may be in there for another day or two. Unfortunately, any item that connects to your speech centers tends to hang on.”
“Super,”
I said as the waiter dropped off Gabe’s drink and the check. “I’m sure that will do wonders for my relationship with Rachel.”
I glanced at the bill and dropped a fifty in. Usually I used a credit card, but I didn’t want to give Gabe the opportunity to bolt before I did. He had a tendency of splitting before me each time. Paying fast meant I could get out of the building first. It was petty, yes, but I wanted this win.
“The Directors told me what was going on with all these ubers,” I lied. “Seems like the jig is up.”
He stopped drinking and slowly lowered his glass, looking into my eyes. At first I sensed major apprehension, but then his face softened and a smile filled in. He sniffed and threw back the entire contents of his martini in a single gulp.
“Nice try,” he said, not even flinching at the burning the alcohol had to have given him. “I’ll admit, you had me fooled for a moment.”
Damn.
“So why don’t you tell me what’s going on, Gabe?” I implored, putting my elbows on the table. “You probably know that I nearly lost an officer due to that pixie, yes?”
“Casualties of war,” came his nonchalant reply. “It can’t be helped, I’m afraid.”
“Technically, it can be helped if either you or the Directors would give me some basic insights on what’s actually happening here.”
He stared at me for a few seconds before raising his eyebrows and sighing.
“What would you have me tell you, Mr. Dex?” he asked. “Would you like to know that the next uber will be a vampire or a fae or a djinn? Or maybe it will be another pixie? How would that help your cause?” He looked up thoughtfully. “I’m giving you the means to battle where I can.”
“Without an instruction manual,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “Some things you need to learn on your own.”
“But why these special word things?” I asked. “How can that possibly help me? I’m in the midst of a firefight with these damn beasts and I have to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do with these extra powers you’re giving me. Honestly, how the hell does that make any sense at all?”
He pushed back from his chair and began to stand up.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I said jumping from my seat and putting a hand on his arm.
He looked down at my hand and then glanced up at me. I took my hand away, feeling like there would be some serious trouble if I didn’t. That was strange.
“I’m leaving first,” I announced.
Gabe glanced back at the door. “If that makes you feel better, then by all means do so.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It would.”
“Then go.”
He looked rather self-satisfied. For some reason, I felt that even though I was trying to gain the upper hand by leaving first, he had effectively just dismissed me. This dude was seriously vainglorious.
“Before you do, though,” he added as I turned away, “I would suggest that you be on your guard at all times, Mr. Dex. Poison can strike when you least expect it.” He set his coat back on the chair. “It’s wise to always have an Antitoxin with you.”
The word locked in and I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously? You went through all of that so you could try and sneak in the word Antitoxin?”
“Don’t use it now!” he rebuked.
“I didn’t,” I said, feeling a sense of pride. “I have to think it a certain way for it to work, Gabe. That much I’ve learned.”
“Good,” he said. “Good.”
I shook my head at him. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”
He sat down and nodded.
“Yes,” he admitted. “I do.”
Chapter 34
“How’s everything at base, Lydia?” I asked as I sat inside my Aston Martin while waiting for Rachel. She had gone over her hour by thirty minutes so far. “Any action?”
“It’s all quiet, puddin’,” she replied in her sweet digital voice. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. Just a little mental fatigue going on.”
“Sounds like you could use a nice roll in the hay with your favorite digital entity,” she said, giggling.
“I’m all for that,” The Admiral piped up. “Seriously, dude, we need to talk to Turbo about hooking her up with—“
“I’ll be the first to admit that it’d be tough to keep my hands off you if you had a physical body, Lydia,” I said. “Hell, you’re probably the only person in existence who’d have a chance at keeping up with me.”
“So true,” she agreed.
That’s when Rachel walked out the door and started heading my way. She looked to have a bit of a skip in her step.
I got out of the car and walked to the front to meet her.
“Talk to Gabe?” she asked before I could say anything.
“Yeah. It was pointless.” I nodded toward the building. “How was your appointment?”
“Quite good, actually,” she replied with a look of surprise. “I have to hand it to Dr. Vernon, she really knows what she’s talking about when it comes to relationships.”
Uh-oh.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Rachel started while leaning into me, “she just pointed out how different you and I are.”
“Okay?”
“It was a good thing, Ian. Opposites attract and all that.”
I squinted. “I wouldn’t say we’re opposites.”
“Oh please,” she said while playfully slapping my chest. “You’re a horndog who wants variety in the bedroom. I don’t mind some, too, but nothing like what you want.”
“She’s right,” said The Admiral. “That doctor really knows what she’s talking about.”
“Shut up.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I accused Rachel while pushing her back gently. “The doctor suggested something, didn’t she?”
Rachel nodded as the corners of her mouth lifted slightly.
“Well?” I pressed.
“She thinks we should have an open relationship.”
“What?”
“She thinks it’d be good for us to be able to express our physicality with other people.”
“She does, does she?” I said. “Well, we’ll see about that.”
I started walking toward the building. Rachel caught up and blocked my way.
“Ian,” she said, holding me at bay, “I think she’s right. You always struggle with being loyal when you’re in a relationship, and—”
“I do not struggle,” I countered. “You were the one who fooled around last time we were dating.”
Her eyes flashed for a moment, but she took a deep breath and reengaged her calm.
“I’m aware of that, Ian, and I’ve already apologized for it.” She brushed the front of my suit with both hands. “The point is that if you’re free to have relations with whomever you wish, then it would release the tension in our relationship because I wouldn’t feel the need to be jealous.”
I regarded her sanity for a moment. “You do realize how stupid that sounds, right?”
“Not to me.”
“Okay,” I said, aiming for some reverse psychology, “so you’d be totally cool with me heading down to the valkyries and boning all of them, one after the other, in all forms and positions and such?”
“I’d be cool with that.”
“Dude! Shut. The. Fuck. Up!”
I held up my hand before Rachel could answer.
“Just a quick note that there are many of them, and they’re all gorgeous.”
Her eye twitched for a moment, but the smile came back to her face with some effort.
“It’s in your nature,” she replied. “Hell, maybe I’d even join you now and then.”
“Fuck yeah,” The Admiral bellowed. Then he whispered, “Uh…Sorry.”
“For real?” I stammered.
“Sure, why not? You could always join me, too, if I’m with Cletus and Merle or something.”
“Ew.”
She shook her head and laughed. “Why is it okay for two women to be with a man, but not the other way around?”
“I never said that,” I argued. “Just not my woman.”
“Your woman?”
I cleared my throat.
“You know what I mean.” I glanced away from her, feeling that this couldn’t end well. “Look, you know that Dr. Vernon is only doing this because she wants me to bone her again, right?”
“That’s what I thought, too,” said Rachel, “until she promised me that she wouldn’t lay a finger on you.”
That was unexpected. I’d felt certain that the good doctor was just weaseling her way into our relationship somehow. But if she was refusing me access to her personal bits, then maybe she truly was trying to help Rachel and me succeed at this relationship?
But being okay with having sex with others was a big no-no on my list of no-nos.
“I really want to do this, Ian,” Rachel said. “I’d rather we share each other than split up again because you have a wandering eye.” She pointed firmly at me. “Don’t bring up my screwing around again. I already explained how that happened.”
“Well,” I said, thinking that it would be fun to bone those valkyries, “if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” announced The Admiral. “Sorry.”
“Honestly,” I said, feeling miserable as I sat in the middle of a bunch of naked valkyries, “this has never happened to me before.”
“It’s okay,” Valerie soothed.
“No, it’s not okay,” whined The Admiral. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
“We’re in love, dude.”
“Oh shit. What did we go and do that for?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I don’t know.”
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