I got back to my condo and found Rachel sitting on the couch, eating ice cream. She usually did that after an evening of debauchery.
“How were Cletus and Merle?” I asked, not really wanting to know. “Everything good with them?”
“They were great,” she said, giving me a wink. “It was a lot of fun.”
“That’s swell,” I said, trying my best not to look gloomy. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
She tilted her head at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Something’s wrong. Were the valkyries all on their periods or something? Their cycles are probably synced after all these years of living together.”
I frowned at her. “No.”
“Ian?” she said in that tell-me-or-else way she had about her.
My head fell forward and my shoulders slumped. I didn’t want her to feel bad about boning Cletus and Merle…. Actually, yes, I did want her to feel bad about it. But the fact was that we had an agreement. Yes, I was kind of coaxed into it, mostly by my non-functional penis.
“Hey, go easy, pal,” The Admiral whimpered. “I’m feeling pretty down right now.”
“Appropriate wording.”
“Nice.”
“Oh, my god,” Rachel said, her eyes going wide. “You couldn’t do it, could you?”
I stood up straight. “How could you know that?”
“Look at you,” she said, motioning at me. “Your posture is slouched, you’re talking like you just lost your best friend, and I just heard…” Her face went pale.
“No fucking way,” I spluttered. “You can hear The Admiral!”
It was her turn to slouch.
“I don’t believe this! I’m in a relationship with a cock whisperer!”
She grunted and gave me a nasty look.
“Gross.”
“Anyway,” I said, baffled about all of this. “Yes, I failed in my mission to fuck a bunch of gorgeous valkyries. I couldn’t do it, okay?” I put my arms up and gave her an enraged look. “Are you happy now?”
She set the ice cream on the end table and stood up. Then she slowly walked over to me and put her arms around my neck.
“Very,” she whispered.
I blinked. “Huh?”
“I never went to see Cletus and Merle,” she admitted. “Dr. Vernon said that I should just tell you that so that you wouldn’t feel bad about being the only one who was stepping out.”
I blinked again. “Huh?”
“I was doing this so that we could stay together, Ian. That’s all.” She ran her fingers through my hair. “I don’t want an open relationship, and now I know for certain that you don’t either.”
“I…huh?”
She smiled. “Why don’t we go in the bedroom and have some fun? Just you and me.” She then winked and glanced down at my growing disposition in my pants. “And The Admiral, too, of course.”
I said nothing as I followed her dutifully to our love nest.
The Admiral also notably said nothing.
But he did stand at attention.
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John P. Logsdon
www.JohnPLogsdon.com
John was raised in the MD/VA/DC area. Growing up, John had a steady interest in writing stories, playing music, and tinkering with computers. He spent over 20 years working in the video games industry where he acted as designer and producer on many online games. He’s written science fiction, fantasy, humor, and even books on game development. While he enjoys writing lighthearted adventures and wacky comedies most, he can’t seem to turn down writing darker fiction. John lives with his wife, son, and Chihuahua.
Christopher P. Young
Chris grew up in the Maryland suburbs. He spent the majority of his childhood reading and writing science fiction and learning the craft of storytelling. He worked as a designer and producer in the video games industry for a number of years as well as working in technology and admin services. He enjoys writing both serious and comedic science fiction and fantasy. Chris lives with his wife and an ever-growing population of critters.
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This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2018 by John P. Logsdon & Christopher P. Young
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form.
Published by: Crimson Myth Press (www.CrimsonMyth.com)
Cover Art: Jake Logsdon (www.JakeLogsdon.com)
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