A Baby for the Daddy: Boys of Rockford Series

by Maverick, Henley

  So, I did.

  I sighed, thinking back to those memories, the way our relationship had blossomed that year of high school — until Tenley’s parents took her away of course. Things had seemed so much easier back then. It was fun to sneak around, to feel like we were breaking the rules. We didn’t think there would ever be real consequences. But neither of us were that naive anymore.

  The way I’d handled things back then were directly related to the way our relationship — or lack of — was today. I had a reputation back in high school. Even before Tenley. She was my first — my first everything — but no one else knew that. I wasn’t even sure she knew that. I’d been a ‘cool’ kid. I had friends that I needed to respect me. And there were always girls that wanted me. I just let everyone connect their own dots and never corrected them.

  Tenley knew — or thought she knew — the kind of guy she was getting involved with back then, and I’d been happy to go along with it because she seemed to crave the thrill of being with the bad boy her parents disapproved of. But all the womanizing and actual bad shit I’d done didn’t really start until after she left. Then I decided I might as well live up to the bad name I’d made for myself. If I was going to suffer the consequences, might as well enjoy the spoils.

  But now that was going to bite me in the ass all over again. Tenley still didn’t think I was capable of being a responsible partner. A dependable guy. And hell, at this point, I wasn’t even sure I was. I didn’t know if I could do it or not.

  But after all these years, I was determined to do something I should’ve done a long, long time ago. I just hoped it wasn’t too little too late.

  24

  Tenley

  It had been a month since our last… thing, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Knight in all that time. Not since that awkward exchange and his walk of shame back home.

  Yeah, I felt guilty after he left, and I realized he didn’t have his bike there. I thought about offering to give him a ride, but I couldn’t bring myself to go out there and talk to him again. Not while I was still reeling from his reaction.

  Because it was a weird reaction.

  I’d expected Knight to be on board with the fuck buddy idea. I figured that would be a relief to him, to know that I wasn’t going to cling or try to make things more serious than he wanted them to be. I thought he’d be happy, but that wasn’t what his face said after the fact.

  He’d looked… hurt.

  I know it was a crazy thought, but I thought that maybe my callousness had hurt him. Or maybe it just bruised his ego. He was used to women clinging and hanging onto him. Wanting more from him than he wanted to give. Maybe having a woman do it to him just sent him for a loop and he didn’t know what to do.

  I kept expecting to hear from him. For him to want another roll in the hay.

  But it was crickets.

  He called Cal directly when he wanted to spend time with him, and Cal asked my permission to go over there, but there wasn’t any communication between us directly. And when I realized he wasn’t talking to me, I wasn’t going to talk to him either.

  I’d made my offer. If he wanted to reject it, that was on him. I wasn’t going to crawl back to him on my knees with a revision. He could take it or leave it.

  I just wished he’d take it.

  Honestly, I was too tired to care. I’d been so busy the last few weeks — working remotely caused so many more headaches, and I’d had to make the six-hour round-trip drive three separate times in the last month to clear problems back at the church. I was looking forward to heading back home, leaving Rockford and its drama behind.

  But I knew Cal was dreading it, counting the days he had left. He seemed to sense that things weren’t cool between his dad and I, so he tried not to talk about him too much around me. I appreciated how thoughtful he was, but I felt terrible. There was no reason he should have to be worrying about stuff like that at his age. He should enjoy being a kid, not worrying about grown-up problems.

  I groaned and hunched over the sink, my stomach churning. I’d been too nauseous to eat the past couple of days, and I felt shaky and weak because of it. And I knew it was affecting my moods and emotions too. I always got like this around my period. Too sentimental, too introspective, too sappy.

  I wasn’t on my period.

  I stiffened then, thinking back to the last one I’d had, having trouble placing the date.

  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, I thought over and over, fumbling with my phone, fingers shaking as I tried to unlock it three times and then got locked out for failed attempts.

  Fuck.

  I needed a calendar and my phone was making me wait sixty seconds, so I hurried into the spare bedroom, rooting through the drawers, looking around the haphazard office, and then I remembered the horse calendar in the kitchen and ran downstairs, out of breath by the time I got there.

  I looked, counted, flipped the page, counted again, and cursed.

  Two months.

  I hadn’t had my period since I’d been back in Rockford. And considering the first night I slept with Knight was around two months ago…

  Shit.

  He was going to freak.

  I staggered over to a chair and sat down shakily, my head running a million miles a minute. How the hell could this have happened again?

  You know how, a voice said in the back of my head. You didn’t learn your lesson.

  It was right. That night had been spontaneous and unplanned, but I should’ve known better. I wasn’t on birth control — why would I be? — but I should have demanded a condom. Especially knowing Knight’s reputation. But I hadn’t been thinking with my head that night.

  Not that I could even use that excuse, since we hadn’t been any more responsible the next time. It was like we were asking for this. How could we have been so stupid?

  My skin was cold with the realization that this was really happening all over again. I could already hear what everyone was going to say — my parents, Kait, Knight — and I didn’t want to deal with any of it. I felt sick. Sick and angry.

  But what was I going to do? I couldn’t make the same mistake I made last time. I’d learned that lesson.

  It took me a while of sitting there at the table, staring off into space, to get my breathing under control so I wasn’t shaking so much anymore. I was still shaking, but enough that I could successfully unlock my phone. I swallowed and pulled up my contacts.

  The phone rang twice before it picked up.

  “Dr. Wiles’ office,” the receptionist said cheerfully.

  I cleared my throat, and explained that I needed to make an appointment, and what for as soon as possible.

  “Does tomorrow at two work for you?” she asked.

  “That would be perfect,” I said, chest still tight. I had kind of hoped that it would be today, but the three-hour drive made that a slim possibility. No, if I wanted to sate my curiosity before the appointment, I’d have to go the DIY route and buy a test at the drug store.

  It was such a crazy idea. The last time I’d needed one of those tests, I was a kid, not even old enough to buy one on my own. I’d gotten one of my senior friends at school to do it, and probably would’ve gotten away with it if my mom hadn’t spotted the box in the trash. She got everything out of me, told my dad right away, and the rest is history. They dragged me away from this town, away from Knight, away from everything I’d ever known as punishment.

  Punishment for making a mistake.

  It had been a mistake to get pregnant at fifteen, yeah, but I would never ever look at Cal as a mistake. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I thanked God every day for sending him into my life.

  So that was what I needed to remember. This may not have been what I’d planned for myself, but it wasn’t the end of the world. There had to be a silver lining.

  I knew there was no way I could make it through the day without getting the tests, though. My curiosity wouldn’t let me. And I knew that no matter how he was g
oing to react to it, I couldn’t make the same mistake with Knight again. I couldn’t avoid telling him.

  My phone was still in my hand after making the appointment, but I didn’t think this was something I should or could tell him over the phone. I didn’t trust myself to get it out. So, I texted him.

  You busy? I asked, realizing we hadn’t had any communication since I asked him to be my fuck buddy and he walked out of the house.

  What’s up? He answered, not really answering.

  Can you meet me at the park?

  When?

  ASAP. Is our tree still there?

  Yeah. Give me 10.

  I blew out a breath and tucked my phone back into my pocket, still in disbelief, not sure what to do, how to handle this.

  “Cal? I’m going to run to the store, do you want to come?”

  “Can I stay here?” he asked. He was nearly thirteen, so he’d been getting more and more freedom, especially lately. It worked to my benefit in this case, since I was hoping that would be what he asked.

  “Sure, if you want. I’ll be back soon, love you.”

  “Love you too,” he called, probably not even bothering to pause whatever video game he was playing. I would have to buy him one of those systems after this summer. I didn’t think he’d be able to go back to not having one. But he was a good kid. He deserved it.

  I didn’t know how I’d afford it with another baby coming though.

  That was something I hadn’t thought about at all, I realized as I got into my car. Babies were expensive, and I wasn’t a kid anymore. I wasn’t going to have all that help from my parents this time. I figured I might have to start looking at alternate employment options. Working for the ministry didn’t exactly pay well.

  That was a bridge I’d cross when I got to it. First things first, I needed a test to confirm this. Buying the tests as an adult was a surprisingly uneventful thing. I grabbed it off the shelf, took it to the register, and paid. No one gave me any trouble, no one even looked at me sideways. No one cared if a grown woman was pregnant. That was the kind of thing an adult woman was expected to do.

  I bought two tests, just to be certain.

  Then I took a deep breath and headed to the park.

  I saw him the minute I pulled into the parking lot, pacing under our tree, his hands in his pockets. We’d always called it our tree. It was where he’d forced that first kiss on me when we were kids, and where we’d had so many more as teenagers. We even did the cheesy thing of carving our initials into the thick bark, marking our love’s permanence. Teenagers were so dramatic.

  Seeing him there under our tree brought back a whole flood of memories. And a familiar knot in my stomach.

  This time was different. This time I was my own woman, making my own choices. No one was forcing me into this. Not my father, not my church, not anything.

  Well, just my conscience.

  I considered bolting without ever getting out of the car, but then he looked over and I was sure he recognized my vehicle, so there was no escape. By the time I got out of the car, he was smiling at me, and my heart felt like it was compressed into a pancake.

  I didn’t deserve that smile, and I was sure I was about to crush him somehow. I was sure this was going to be devastating news all over again, way more serious than Knight ever wanted. And a baby? I just couldn’t see him being okay with giving up his lifestyle for that.

  But at least this way he’d know. He’d be able to make his own informed decision and I wouldn’t be making it for him. Even if I was pretty sure I knew what it was going to be.

  “I have to tell you something—” we both said, at the exact same time.

  My eyes went wide, his mouth twisted, and then he laughed and shook his head.

  “You first,” he said.

  I swallowed again, feeling like there was a golf ball lodged in my throat, and then took a deep breath, trying to gather my courage. In the end, I didn’t even manage that very well, because I just held out the bag from the drugstore to him.

  Knight’s head tilted to the side and he frowned, taking the bag and carefully looking inside like he might suddenly be swarmed with scorpions. Then his eyes grew and grew, and his face went so pale.

  My stomach turned and twisted. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have told him. I should’ve told him a different way. I didn’t know. But I felt like I’d made a very poor decision based on his reaction in that moment.

  But then he looked up from the bag, and his face slowly spread into a smile.

  I frowned and took a step back, not sure what had come over him. That smile was not what I was expecting, and I didn’t know what to think about it.

  “Are you… happy about this?” I asked, trepidation in my voice as I looked from his smile to the bag and back. I wanted to believe. I wanted to think it was possible that Knight could be happy about this, that he could be different than what I expected of him, but it was so hard. It was so hard to open myself up to that possibility of hurt and rejection and I didn’t know if I could take it if it didn’t work this time.

  But I had hope. Against my better judgment, despite myself and everything that seemed wise, I had hope. I wanted this man. I always had. I’d never stopped, no matter what I’d told anyone — including myself.

  But was there really a chance? Could we possibly have anything other than something completely dysfunctional?

  “Before I answer that,” he said, handing the bag back to me. “I need to tell you what I have to say.”

  25

  Knight

  All right. This was it. This was why I’d been trying to get my courage up for the last freaking month. I promised myself the next time I saw her, I’d do it.

  So, what had I done?

  Avoided her, of course.

  What a stupid thing.

  I knew what I wanted. I knew this was what I wanted. She was what I wanted. What I’d always wanted. But I was terrified that she was going to say no. Turn her back on me and leave me brokenhearted all over again.

  But this time, there wouldn’t be anyone else to blame. I wouldn’t be able to point at her hard-ass dad and say he ruined my chances with her. Not this time. This time, if it didn’t happen, I had no one to blame but myself.

  I took a deep breath and looked at Tenley, still holding that bag, her face a mask of confusion. She looked so damn cute. So perfect. And she was pregnant? I mean, I could tell that she hadn’t taken the tests yet, but if she was to the point of showing them to me, she must have had a pretty good idea.

  She wanted to know what I was doing, I could see it in the furrow between her eyebrows, the little downturn of her mouth.

  How had I avoided this woman for a month?

  It hadn’t been easy, I could tell you that much. I didn’t want to make Cal suffer for the awkwardness between the two of us, so we’d been heading out to the park with Dallas and Bear regularly for baseball. Kid was getting good too. Had a hell of an arm. Could make a damn good pitcher one day according to my brother.

  But they’d be leaving soon. Going back to where they’d both be under the thumb and influence of Pastor Alexander and his antiquated ideas.

  Unless I could do something to put a stop to it. Unless I could sack up and do what I should’ve done ages ago.

  “Knight?” Tenley asked, her voice so soft and sweet, eyes sparkling in the dotted light filtering in through the leaves. Wind shook the branches above, filling the air with her floral scent, ruffling her hair and rustling the greenery. I tried to imprint that moment into my memory. Tried to etch it in there so I’d never forget how beautiful and perfect that moment was, no matter the outcome in a couple of minutes.

  Because it might all come crashing down.

  I took another deep breath and looked her in the eyes, quirking my mouth into a half smile as I reached into my back pocket and got down on one knee.

  Tenley’s eyes went big, and her mouth fell open on a gasp. “Knight—” she whispered, but I shook my head, reachin
g for her hand.

  “Tenley Alexander, I saw you in this spot over twenty years ago, right under this tree. And I knew then that you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen and I was going to kiss you. I knew right then and there that you were it for me. That you were the only girl I ever wanted to kiss.” Even though she pulled a little face, I didn’t let her stop me.

  “I know I did a lot of dumb shit, but I mean that, Ten. You were my first—”

  “No, I wasn’t—” she argued incredulously.

  “You were,” I said firmly. “I know I had a reputation, but I was trying to get your attention. You were the only girl I ever had eyes for. Until you disappeared… I wish I’d handled it better. I’m not proud of myself and the choices I made in the years we were apart, but no one has ever come close to you. No one ever will. And I’m done lying to myself thinking I can replace you or get over you. I don’t want to do either of those things, El. I just want you.”

  Her eyes were shining with tears, her hand shaking in mine. I brought it up to my lips, kissing her knuckles. I didn’t know what she was going to say, I didn’t know if I had any chance in hell, but I had to say it all. If I never got another chance, at least I’d know I’d put all my cards on the table.

  “I love you. I have always loved you. And I love Cal. I love that kid so damn much it blows my mind. And this one?” I said, looking at her stomach, looking at the bag, my throat tightening, voice cracking.

  “I know I’m gonna love them too. I already do. And I can’t let you get away. Not again. Not this time. Last time it broke me and made me a man I never wanted to be. I thought I could fill the hole you left, but there’s no substitute for you. And I swear, if I have to, I’ll chase you for another twenty years to convince you to give me another chance.”

  She snorted at that, shook her head, her hand still trembling. But now she was looking kind of impatient and I figured my speech had gone on long enough. The damp from the ground was seeping through my jeans, my knee sore from a pebble that was digging into it, but I didn’t care about the discomfort. All I cared about was her answer to this question.