"Every boy in the entire school wanted to go out with herand she chose me. She followed me everywhereturning up at karate tournamentsI was a black belt by the time I was fifteenbugging me with her friendly chatter, refusing to let me shut her out.
"Finally, I gave inand then we were inseparable. We always said we were each other's first and last lovers. We got an apartment togetherher parents disowned her when they found out about us." She paused for a moment, her face lost in memory.
"The first few years were toughshe was in art school, I was working whatever jobs I could find. Thats when I began training with Janet Cho. She befriended uspaid me a little to teach a few of her classes. It was Janet who pushed me to go to collegeI never wanted to. I wanted to support Dara and myself. While I was in college, I joined the army reservesit paid some, and they wanted women combat instructors. Thats how I was finally offered the job in Virginiait was the first job I ever wanted. I could teach what I knew bestmartial artsto women. And I got paid for it.
"We were thirty when we moved to Virginia. Dara hated it there. There was nothing but the base and the little town that grew up around it. She missed the city, and her friends, and the intellectual world she loved. We were only supposed to stay a year, then I could transfer somewhere else."
"Somehow, I kept putting it off. I was happy there, and I tried not to see how unhappy Dara was." She stopped and stared at her clenched fists. "God, how I wish I could take it all back."
Sean was so relieved to finally know the mystery of Drew, she found she wasnt jealous. This was Drews past, what made her all she was today. To know a little of where she had been allowed Sean to love her more fully. Her heart filled with compassion.
"What happened? " she asked gently.
Drews eyes filled with tears, but she continued, determined to finish.
"We had been there nearly two years, and Dara had reached her limit. We were fighting constantly about itif I stayed one more year I could name my next location. I wanted to come home to Philadelphiaa year didnt seem so long to me. But, for her, it was like a life sentence.
"One night it really blew up between us. We had gone to the bar in townit was the only place lesbians could relax. It was late, and we started fighting. I got angry, and so did she. Finally, she stormed out and I was so pissed off I let her go. I sat finishing my beer, fuming. Finally, I realized it was one oclock in the morning, and Dara was walking alone. I was franticI rushed out, but I didnt see her. The streets were empty, so I headed for home"
She stopped and turned anguished eyes to Sean. Then she continued, "I heard a noisefrom an alley. It was dark, but the shadows were moving. I started down the passagewayI dont know why. I just had this empty, horrible knowledge that she was there.
"There were five of themthey must have followed her from the bar. I didn't have much of a chance, but I did some damageI dont remember much. I got kicked in the head, and my wrist was broken. The noise of the fight finally scared them off. I guess I crawled down the alleymy hands and knees got pretty torn up. Thats when I found her. They beat her before they raped her. She was already dead when I got to her."
Sean covered her mouth to suppress her cry. Her mind tried to hold the pain Drew must have felt, but it was too much.
"Oh god, Drew, Im so sorry!"
"I never told her I was sorry, Sean. I never got to tell her that she was my whole life, the best part of meoh god, I never even said good-bye."
Finally, finally, Drew cried. Deep, soul-wrenching sobs that doubled her over. Sean rushed to her, pulling Drews head onto her shoulder, sheltering her heaving body. She murmured softly, useless words that couldnt begin to make up for the horror of that night, or all the lonely years that followed, but she gave what comfort she could. Drew clung to her, broken, bereft.
After what seemed like hours, Drew quieted, exhausted. Sean continued to hold her.
"Do you hate me?" Drew asked, her face still buried against Seans breast.
Sean gripped her even more tightly. "Hate you? No, Drew, I dont hate youI love you. I wish it had never happenedI wish you had never suffered such a terrible lossI wish I could take all your pain away. I wish I could do somethinganythingto make it all right, but I can only love you."
"Last night," Drew began haltingly, "last night was like that night. Only this time it was youand I was there. I wanted to kill them, Seanfor threatening you, for trying to take it all away from me again. I couldnt stand to lose you."
"You wont lose me, Drew. I promise, we will have a future together. I promise."
"I love you so much," Drew whispered, at last able to say the words. "I love you."
Sean cupped Drews face and kissed her. "I know."
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sean laid her starched, crisp uniform over the chair and methodically arranged her gear in her bag. She didnt look up as Susan entered and sprawled out on Seans bed.
"Are you ready?" Susan asked.
"Yes," Sean said.
"I wish I could come watch you test," Susan pouted.
"The black belt tests are private, Suseno one will be there except the black belt test board."
"Will Drew be there?"
"Of course," Sean replied, smiling at the thought.
"Is her leg okay?"
Sean glanced at her sister. "Her leg is fine. And so is the rest of her. Not one single nightmare in three months. And she finally showed me pictures of her and Dara."
"Were you jealous?"
"No" Sean said thoughtfully. "It was like looking at family pictures. Drew was so young, and they were so innocent. It made me sad. But, its what shes needed to do all these yearsshe needs Dara in her life; she needs the memories. And, I need them toobecause now Drew is whole. And thats what I need."
Susan fussed with the pillows, not looking at Sean. Sean knew her sister well.
"What is it, Suse?"
"Umthis might not be a good time to tell you this" her voice trailed off weakly.
"What?" Sean asked exasperated.
"Ellen and I are buying a house."
"Susan! Thats wonderful!"
Susans face lit up. "You dont mind?"
"Are you kidding? Im so happy for youboth of you. Ill miss you like crazy, but its great!"
"Will you keep the house?"
"Yes, I think soif Drew wants to live here."
"You and Drew? Living together?"
Sean suddenly looked shy. "Weve talked about it some."
"Now I can really stop worryingyoull have a black belt in the house to protect you!"
Sean drew herself up and said archly, "No, my dear sistertwo black belts, and well protect each other!"
The End
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Radclyffe - Love's Tender Warriors (The Golden Tiger) Page 10
