Love Show

by Audrey Bell

  “Have a good night, Jus. I’ll see you around.”

  “Hey, um…” he shrugged. “You said David cooked every Friday?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Oh, right. You should totally come over this week!”

  “Yeah?” he nodded. “Cool. I’d like that.”

  “Awesome. David will be happy.”

  “Yeah?” Justin asked hopefully.

  “Definitely.” I thought the flirtation with Ben would end soon. David had been moody and quiet. He’d been avoiding his other friends when he left the apartment, and impatiently waiting to hear from Ben most other nights. I couldn’t imagine him putting up with it for much longer. “It’ll be fun. I’m glad you’re coming. Have a good night.”

  “Thanks. Good luck with the interview,” he shouted after me.

  The interview was okay—a lot of informational questions. Nothing that threw me off my game, but nothing I could hit out of the park either. They told me they’d be in touch to set up an in-person interview, which felt like a victory.

  After I hung up the phone, David came in.

  I walked out of my room to see him. “Justin’s coming over for dinner tomorrow. I think he likes you.”

  “Who?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Justin Shelter?”

  “Oh,” he said. “Right.”

  He looked thinner and tired. That couldn’t be right. He couldn’t have lost weight in a week.

  It was his clothing, I realized. He was drowning in a baggy polo shirt and khakis. I had no idea where he’d even gotten them, but it was so not his style.

  “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head, as if he were snapping out of a trance. “Sorry.” He smiled more genuinely. “I’m good. Tired. I spent the night at Ben’s.” He looked at me dreamily. “He’s really great.”

  “Yeah? When can I meet him?” I ventured cautiously.

  “I told you. You can’t. Not until he’s ready and that’s not going to be for a really long time because of football.”

  I nodded my head once. “Well, is he your boyfriend?”

  “No. No. Definitely not,” he shrugged. “He’s not ready for that. Which is fine. I can totally wait.”

  I didn’t buy it. He sounded pretty sad.

  “Well, do you have plans Friday? After dinner?”

  “No, probably not. Ben has plans with his teammates.”

  And David wasn’t invited.

  “Maybe we could go out after dinner,” I said. “You, me and Justin.”

  He smiled. “You want to go out?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I told Jack I’d think about it. And I think you should introduce Justin to some people.”

  “To people?”

  “In the gay community,” I said. “He’s a freshman, remember?”

  “Oh, yeah,” David said noncommittally, “Look, Ben asked me to sort of tone it down.”

  “Tone what down?”

  “You know, the whole thing,” he said very softly.

  “What whole thing?”

  “Just the off-the-walls gay thing.”

  “I’m sorry. What?” I said incredulously. “Tell me that’s a joke.”

  “Hadley,” he said. “I know you don’t understand, but I really like him. And he’s been really good to me,” David said, almost pleadingly.

  “By asking you to tone down your personality?”

  “Not my personality,” he said. “I don’t have to be so out there, you know?”

  I looked at him, in utter shock. “Yeah, he sounds really wonderful. I’d like to meet this kid.”

  “Hadley.”

  “No, I really do. I want to see who's put the crazy idea in your head that your personality is something to be ashamed of.”

  My phone rang on the counter. David looked at me. “Are you going to get that?”

  “This is more important right now.”

  David got to his feet and shrugged. “I don’t see why you’re making me feel bad about a relationship I’m excited about.”

  “I’m not trying to make you feel bad about your relationship.”

  “That’s what you’re doing, though,” David responded coldly. “I’m going to bed.”

  “David,” I called after him.

  He closed the door softly. I knocked on it.

  “Hadley, I want you to leave me alone,” he said. I sighed deeply.

  “David, come on. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he called back. “I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”

  David made himself scarce Friday morning. I heard him grab a cup of coffee and leave the apartment around 7. And he didn’t respond to my text when I asked if we needed anything for dinner while I was on my way home that evening. I really hoped he’d be there to let in Justin. I was starting to worry he was so angry with me that he wouldn’t show up.

  I reached the apartment, praying David would be home. And he was. He was making fajitas, and he and Justin were already drinking.

  “Gorgeous, you’re here,” David said, slurring his words. “Justin’s culinary skills have improved tremendously. He did an amazing job with the margarita mix.”

  He sounded like his usual self and he was dressed that way, too. He wore tight jeans on his pin-thin legs, a bright pink shirt, and a fedora while he poured me a margarita. He handed it to me with a broad, frankly frightening grin.

  “Are you wearing a shirt with those stockings?” I asked with an arched eyebrow as Justin gave me a warm hug and laughed.

  I changed into tighter jeans and cuter boots, and a black tank top David recommended.

  Jack wanted to meet up tonight, and for the first time that I could remember, I was excited to go out.

  I sipped the lethally strong margarita that Justin had thrust into my hand. I even did my makeup, tossing my head to the music. It was fun. I was having fun, and that wasn’t a bad thing. I’d survived not getting the New York Times job. I had a friend with benefits. And the sky had not fallen. It was mostly okay.

  “You are definitely not washed-up yet,” David said when I reentered the room. “Right, Justin?”

  Justin nodded his assent and smiled at David.

  “Who said I was washed-up?”

  David raised his hand. “Me. Like all first semester.”

  “Thanks a lot, pal.”

  “I mean, you never looked that washed-up. You just sort of dressed that way.”

  “Oh, shut up,” I said. I ran my hand through my hair. “Jack will be there.”

  “Fabulous,” David said. He looked at Justin. “Hadley is a committed spinster but she has a friend with benefits, courtesy of me.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  David got up from his seat and caught his reflection in the mirror. “Does this outfit look okay?”

  I finished my margarita. “Of course.”

  David fussed in front of the mirror. “I feel like Ben wouldn’t like this.”

  “Who’s Ben?” Justin asked.

  David opened his mouth and then closed it. “Ben Cho, the fashion designer, my icon.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “What?”

  “Hold on. I’m changing.”

  He came out of his room half an hour later wearing something decidedly un-David. Khakis and a blue polo shirt. He ran a hand through his hair and turned to me.

  “How do I look?”

  “Like you’re from Nowhere, Nebraska?”

  David flinched slightly and Justin gave me a dirty look. “I like it,” Justin said softly.

  “Sorry. You look nice. Just—not very you.”

  “I don’t want him to…I don’t want to scare him off.”

  “By being yourself?” I asked.

  David looked at Justin and then at me. “Let’s not talk about this right now.”

  I met his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Alright. Whatever you say.”

  I stole a glance at David nervously pushing his hair off his forehead and studying his reflection.

  “You look good.
You always look good,” I said, seeing the apprehension on his face and hating that someone had made him feel so uncomfortable in his own skin.

  “Oh my god, everything just got so serious,” David said. He laughed. “I swear we’re not usually this emotional, Justin.” He turned up the music. “Who wants another margarita?”

  Justin and I both accepted another drink. Pretty soon we’d forgotten the weird moment and lost ourselves in the musical genius that was Ke$ha.

  David started bouncing on his toes and twisting his hips and knees. I joined him. My heart pounded loudly in my ears with the music, and my legs shook from jumping. I collapsed on the floor, hair over my face. “David, I cannot go anywhere. I need to stay here with the margaritas.”

  “Oh my god. Time to go to the bar,” he said. “Hadley, get up. You do not get to pass out.”

  “I’m not passed out. I’m just out of shape.” I sat up and shook out my hair. “Let’s go.”

  We walked to the bar.

  When I thought about seeing Jack there, my stomach twisted slightly. In a good way. In the best way.

  The Pub was the kind of bar that every college town has. Sticky floors, stumbling freshmen, rocking, loud pop music, condescending bartenders who really didn’t like any of their customers, and pretty much everyone you knew from campus.

  The first person I saw was Andrew Brenner.

  “Hey,” Andrew said, putting a hand on my back. “Good to finally see you out.”

  “Yeah. Thanks,” I smiled. “You know, I do go out.”

  “I know. I know. That’s not what I meant.” He chuckled. “Can you believe the wind chill? The humidity is out of control.”

  I nodded. “Crazy stuff.”

  Justin raised his eyebrows and bit back a laugh.

  “You know each other right?” I said.

  “Of course. Loved the article,” Andrew said, shaking his hand. “Where’s your roommate?”

  I looked around, but David had vanished into the crowd. I saw Nigel in a corner and waved. He might know.

  “I have no idea,” I told Andrew. “We should find him. We’ll be right back.”

  David and I walked over to Nigel.

  “Hads,” he said. He gave me a warm hug. “Justin. Awesome to see you out. How’s it going?”

  “Good.”

  Nigel nodded at Trevor. “Justin, this is my friend Trevor. Trev, Justin. Justin’s a freshman in GSA.”

  “Awesome.”

  “You guys seen David?”

  Trevor made a fluttering gesture with one hand. “Prince David is giving us the silent treatment. After all, we aren’t on the football team.”

  “And wearing something awful,” Nigel said. He looked at me. “What’s with him?”

  I shook my head. “Long story.”

  “He’s over there,” Nigel said. He pointed him out to him. “Pretending not to see us.”

  He was standing alone, looking sort of sad and uncomfortable, holding a beer near a pack of rowdy football players. I saw Ben Mitchell, too, pointedly ignoring him.

  Bullshit.

  This was stupid. And it made me furious.

  “You want a drink?” Trevor asked me. “We’re drinking and dancing.”

  I shook my head, watching David, wishing I could shake his shoulder and make him snap out of it. But I knew it wouldn’t work.

  “What about you, Justin? Drink?” Trevor asked.

  “Yeah. Definitely! Hadley, do you mind?”

  “No, no, go ahead,” I motioned at them.

  “Meet us at the bar if you change your mind,” Nigel called.

  The three of them disappeared. I kept my eye on David, glancing at my phone occasionally, wondering if he would mind being seen with me, or if it was just his gay friends that Ben had told him to avoid.

  Ben was still ignoring him. I decided to go get him. At least, he didn’t need to be alone while he was being ignored.

  I turned and I bumped directly into Jack at full speed.

  He was holding two beers and stepped back, only barely sloshing them.

  “Heyo,” Jack said. He smiled. “I was trying to get your attention.”

  He handed one of them to me and I looked at it, wondering if I should point out that he wasn’t supposed to buy me drinks.

  “I feel like you’re accident prone,” he said. He was wearing plaid. Navy with red. It looked good on him. He looked like Jake Gyllenhaal. Too good for a college bar. Too good for a college girl who hadn’t slept with anyone since junior year…of high school.

  “Sorry, what?” I said, pulling my eyes away from his body, feeling like an idiot frat boy, caught objectifying a hot girl in a Halloween costume.

  “I said I feel like you might be accident prone. That’s how we met. You falling?” he gave me a grin.

  “You were in my way.”

  He laughed. “I guess. My bad.” He smiled. “You like beer? I got one for you, because I’m the kind of person who makes assumptions.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So, what’s up?” he asked.

  I looked up at him and lifted my shoulders. “Not much. I was, um…” I glanced over at where David had been standing. Ben was finally talking to him, although he had his arm wrapped around some blond girl’s waist. “I was about to get my roommate.”

  “Roommates are awesome. Let’s find him.”

  “How much have you had to drink tonight?” I asked.

  He laughed. “I don’t know if I should tell you that. You might put it in your newspaper.”

  “Trust me. You’re not that interesting and we’re not that desperate yet,” I said.

  “Yet?” He shook his head. “That’s not a very strong sell. Well, the answer is not that much. It’s a crowded bar. Somebody pushed me. And you make me nervous.”

  I smiled at that. “Bullshit.”

  He tilted the neck of his beer bottle towards me. “I bet you get that all the time.”

  I shook my head. “No. I never get that.”

  He laughed. “Well, maybe everyone’s too nervous to say anything.”

  I tried to think of something witty to say back, but I was watching David downstairs at the bar, with his arms crossed tightly over his stomach. He was alone, nobody was talking to him. It broke my fucking heart.

  I could see how Ben glanced over, occasionally, and how each time David looked briefly hopeful and how each time Ben averted his eyes.

  “Seriously?” I muttered bitterly.

  “Sorry,” Jack said. “Is that not allowed?”

  “I’m sorry. What were you saying?” I asked him, not taking my eyes off of David. I needed to go down there.

  “Ah, your week? I asked if you had a good week.”

  “Yeah, it was fine.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “My roommate is being an idiot.”

  “You want to go find him?” he said.

  I nodded. I took a sip of the beer and made a face.

  He laughed. “You don’t like beer. Good to know.”

  “You’re not supposed to buy me drinks.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “Give it back.” He reached out his hand for it.

  I smiled, in spite of myself. “It has my germs on it.”

  “So, what’s up with the roommate?” he said.

  “It’s a long story.”

  I looked around for Ben and saw his back retreating towards the door.

  Bastard.

  David was still cradling his phone. When it lit up, so did his face. I leaned my arms on the railing to watch.

  Jack’s voice was quiet in my ear. “That him?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You can tell me the story,” he said. “Even if it’s long.”

  “I told him I wouldn’t,” I sighed.

  “Well, go talk to him if you need to. I’ll wait here,” Jack said.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks. Sorry.”

  “No worries,” he said. He looked around. “I
’ll guard your railing.”

  I smiled, wishing I could enjoy Jack instead of worrying about David. I walked back downstairs past the crowd in front of the bar and found him.

  I tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey.”

  David whirled. “Hadley! Hey.”

  I smiled. “You okay?”

  He nodded and beamed. “Ben just texted me to meet him. So I’m going to go.”

  I nodded once. “Got it.”

  He met my eyes. “Sorry.” He looked around. “Do you want me to stay with you? Is Jack here yet…” He bit his lip apologetically. “I know I told you I’d introduce Justin to some people but Ben’s—”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll see you at home.”

  He nodded. “Have fun.” He hugged me. He didn’t look back while I watched him leave.

  Jack was waiting for me, as promised. He was the kind of person who didn’t look uncomfortable alone. He took up a lot of room, leaning over the railing, one beer resting at his elbow, nursing another one at his lips.

  “Everything cool?” he asked.

  No, it wasn’t, but I nodded. “Yeah.” I smiled. “So, I saw you this week.”

  “You did. We made out in my car.” He smiled. “You let me feel you up. Then you said I wasn’t allowed to date you.”

  “I remember,” I said. “I meant in Riley’s class.”

  “Ah.”

  “I think you called him Bobby.”

  He nodded. “I wouldn’t recommend trying that.”

  “I wasn’t going to. He’s terrifying.”

  “He’s harmless, really.”

  “How do you know him?

  “He’s my godfather,” Jack said. “We go way back.”

  “Oh, okay,” I said. “How’d that end up happening?”

  “Oh, you know,” Jack said. “I insisted on it as soon as I was born.” He grinned. “Nah, my dad knew him.”

  I nodded. “Gotcha.”

  “He thinks I want to be a photographer.”

  “Do you?”

  “No. I don’t want to be anything.” He smiled. “But I like to humor him. It makes him feel like he’s doing a good job as a godfather. You like the class?”

  “Yeah, I do. He’s amazing. I grew up reading his books and his articles and—”

  “Of course. That’s why you’re Editor-in-Chief.”

  “Yeah, that and a long masochistic streak, apparently,” I said.

  “Really?” Jack said wickedly. He smiled. “Tell me more about your masochistic streak. Is that like a Fifty Shades—”