The Bodyguard's Return

by Carla Cassidy

  This time when the kiss finally ended he grabbed the bottom of her sweater and with one smooth action pulled it up and over her head. He tossed the garment toward a small wooden dining table, then grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bedroom.

  She had no opportunity to pay attention to the surroundings. There was only Joshua and her desire for him. She was blinded to anything else.

  It took only moments for them to undress and get beneath the sheets that smelled of him. They moved together in a frenzy, the lovemaking fast and furious, and when they were finished they remained in the bed, the afternoon sunshine streaming through the window.

  For the first time since arriving Savannah took note of the room. Navy curtains hung at the window, matching the navy bedspread that had been thrown off at some point. A wooden dresser sat against one wall, a photo of the West family on top.

  She turned over on her side and looked at Joshua, who was on his back, staring up at the ceiling with a frown cutting across his forehead. “What are you thinking?” she asked softly. She placed a hand on his chest, the thump of his heartbeat against her palm.

  The frown disappeared as he gazed at her. “Nothing. At least nothing important.”

  She held his gaze for a long moment. “Do you miss New York City?”

  “Not at all.” His reply came quickly. He placed an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She snuggled into him, savoring the quiet intimacy of not just their physical closeness but also a momentary emotional one as well.

  He released a deep sigh. “Going to New York was a mistake. I realize that now. I want my life to be here, in Cotter Creek. At the time I moved to New York I had a need to get away from here, find a place, an identity that was all my own. It’s great having a big family, but I needed to get off by myself.”

  “I can’t imagine having everything you have here and choosing to leave it all,” she replied. “It has to be amazing to know how much you’re loved by everyone around you, to have such wonderful support from your family.”

  “It is wonderful,” he agreed easily, “but it’s one thing for your family to think you’re terrific. I needed to find out what kind of a person I was separate from my family.”

  He frowned once again. “Everyone in my family told me how smart I was, how competent, but the only job I’d worked was as a bodyguard for a business my father owned. I needed to find out if I was worth anything besides being a West and working for Wild West Protective Services.”

  “And did you find what you were looking for?”

  “The verdict is still out.”

  “It’s funny, you had to leave your family because you had too much love and support and I had to leave mine for just the opposite reasons.” As always, a tiny rivulet of pain fluttered through her as she thought of her parents.

  He tightened his arm around her. “Tell me about your mother and father. You’ve mentioned before that they weren’t cut out to be parents.”

  She ran her hand across the muscled expanse of his chest, enjoying the feel of his chest hair beneath her fingertips. “They aren’t bad people. To be honest, I hardly know my father. He worked a lot and when he was home he was completely caught up in my mother. There wasn’t time for me in his life.”

  “And your mother?” His hand rubbed her back in a gentle swirling motion that was both erotic yet soothing at the same time.

  Savannah sighed. Thoughts of her mother always confused her. “I love my mother, but I don’t like her very much.” She propped herself up on an elbow and gazed at Joshua. “My mother is an absolutely stunning woman. Her life before she met my father had been beauty pageants. By the time she was ten years old she’d won over a hundred contests, but I think that world made her worship beauty above all else and unfortunately I didn’t fit into her world. Nothing worse for a beauty queen than to have a red-headed, freckle-faced, outspoken, lacking-of-poise daughter.”

  Joshua smiled and touched the tip of her nose. “I like your freckles.” His smile faded as his fingers slid down her cheek, and he caressed the length of her neck.

  He leaned forward and kissed her, a kiss of infinite tenderness and quiet passion. Savannah pressed herself against him, returning his kiss with a tenderness and passion of her own.

  She wanted him again and it was obvious from his arousal that he wanted her, too. As his hands moved down the length of her, they didn’t move with the white-hot fever that they had earlier, but rather this time it was a slow burn that slowly consumed her.

  He touched her everywhere with his hands, with his mouth, caressing and tasting and bringing her again and again to the brink of release then denying her with a low wicked laugh.

  She returned the favor, loving the fact that when she touched him low across his belly he groaned and when she licked across that same skin, he gripped her shoulders and groaned her name like a plea.

  When he finally entered her, it was a slow, smooth glide into magic. They made love as if they had all the time in the world, as if they knew each other so intimately there was no need to be adventurous or exploratory. They simply moved together in perfect rhythm, giving and taking as naturally as breathing.

  As he kissed her, a deep, soulful kiss, she felt the rise of intense emotions filling her. It was so intense tears stung her eyes. Her heart felt too big for her chest and it was in that moment that she realized she’d only been fooling herself.

  She’d believed that she could spend almost every waking hour with Joshua and have sex with him and not get her heart involved. She’d thought she was strong enough not to fall victim to his charm. She’d thought she could know the man inside and not care about him, but she’d been wrong.

  The truth was, she was falling in love with Joshua West. He liked her freckles. How could she not fall in love with a man who told her he liked her freckles.

  Unfortunately, she knew as surely as she was breathing that she was headed for heartache.

  Joshua listened to the sounds of the shower coming from the bathroom. He’d taken a quick shower minutes before and now sat at the kitchen table and waited for Savannah to shower and dress.

  He had never felt so confused in his life…confused about himself, confused about Savannah. After they’d had sex the second time he’d looked at her and wondered how anyone could ever even imagine that she wasn’t beautiful.

  And that had scared the hell out of him. She was creeping in where no other woman had ever been…into his head, into his heart.

  At the moment all he felt was a need to run, to escape her with her charming chatter and innate warmth. He needed to distance himself not only from his desire for her on a physical level, but also an emotional level as well.

  Despite her background with her family, he thought she was the most together woman he’d ever met. She seemed to know exactly who she was and what she wanted from life and he envied her that.

  She’d shown him some of the scars that had been left by her mother and as the youngest son of a loving family, he’d ached for her pain, a pain he’d never known.

  He tensed as he heard the shower water shut off. He looked at his watch, surprised to realize how late it had gotten. They had spent the entire afternoon in bed.

  There was a part of him that wished they could just grab a bite to eat from the refrigerator, then tumble back into each other’s arms and sleep together through the night. But there was a bigger part of him that needed to get away from her.

  She was supposed to interview Sheila in less than an hour. He’d take her to the café for the interview, then take her home and tomorrow he’d be stronger where she was concerned.

  He had to get control of his feelings, because until he knew where he was going with his life, he had no intention of taking anyone along with him.

  He was still seated at the table when she came out of the bedroom. Despite his need to control his emotions, he couldn’t help the way his heart leaped as she gifted him with one of her wide smiles.

  “I can’t believe yo
u don’t have a hair dryer,” she said as she finger-combed her curly, damp hair.

  “Yeah, well, that’s because I discourage female visitors,” he said.

  She stopped in her tracks and stared at him. “Oh, forgive me, I didn’t realize you were discouraging my presence here when you were driving ninety miles an hour to get me here.”

  “You’re right. I guess I just want to make sure that you understand that nothing has changed as far as I’m concerned.” He knew he was being an ass, but he couldn’t stop himself. She scared him, his feelings for her scared him and he needed to gain a safe distance. “I just don’t want another Lauren situation on my hands.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You’re some piece of work, Joshua West. How dare you even think I’d be capable of being a ‘Lauren situation.’” Her words were clipped and curt with anger.

  Her eyes blazed as she stalked across the room to the front door. “You might be all that and a bag of chips to most of the girls you sleep with, but I told you from the very beginning that all I was looking for was a little fun. You’re so worried about me wanting more from you, but what makes you think you’re so great that I’d want anything more from you?”

  She opened the front door, stepped out then slammed the door behind her. Joshua hurriedly followed, instant regret weighing heavily on his shoulders.

  As Savannah started walking, short angry strides taking her past his truck, he called after her. “If you’re planning on walking back to town you’re going to be late for your interview with Sheila.”

  She paused, whirled to face him, then walked back to his truck and got in. He slid behind the wheel, then turned to face her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  She looked at him and in the depths of her eyes he thought he saw a whisper of hurt, but she raised her chin in a show of defiance. “Just get me back to town. I have a job to do.” She averted her gaze out the passenger window as if to dismiss him.

  He started the engine and pulled away from the cabin, sorry that he’d said anything, sorry that he’d obviously hurt her feelings.

  They rode for a few minutes in silence, a taut silence that deepened his regret.

  “Savannah, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I thought you might be like Lauren,” he said after several minutes of the impossibly strained silence. “I just don’t want there to be any complications, I wanted to make sure you know where I stood with you.”

  “You’ve made that crystal clear,” she said with marked coolness in her voice. She turned to face him once again. “Look, Joshua, things have somehow gotten out of control between us, with the bodyguard thing maybe we’re spending way too much time together. You know what they say about familiarity breeding contempt.”

  Once again she turned her head and looked out the passenger window. Her breasts heaved with a deep sigh. “I think maybe we need a break from each other. I appreciate the fact that there might be some sort of threat against me, but I’m a big girl. We have the alarm system now at the house and I know to watch my back.”

  “We’re in the middle of an investigation,” he protested. “I’m not sure now is the time to change things.” He pulled up and parked in front of the café. He cut the engine, then turned to face her. “We’re both running a little high on emotion here. Why don’t we wait and see what we find out from Sheila before we make any rash decisions?”

  “Fine,” she replied, and without another word got out of the truck and slammed the door.

  Chapter 12

  Savannah knew she’d probably overreacted, but the fact that he’d reminded her that he really wanted nothing from her on any level other than a physical one had echoed with old hurts from her past.

  For just a moment, with her newly realized love for him aching in her heart, she’d hoped for something more from him. She’d hoped that the gentleness of his lovemaking had indicated a depth of feeling for her, that the passion he’d shown her had sprung from someplace other than his groin.

  Don’t expect too much from men, Savannah Marie, her mother’s voice rang in her ear. You just aren’t the type of woman that men get all gushy and soft about. I’m only telling you this for your own good. I wouldn’t want you to hope for anything that you might never have.

  Her mother’s words followed her from the truck inside the café where she picked a booth near the back and slid in. A moment later Joshua sat across from her, his forehead wrinkled with a frown.

  “Savannah, I didn’t mean to make you mad.” There was a plea in his deep green eyes.

  How she wanted to hang on to some anger, how she longed to raise her anger like a shield against her feelings for him. But, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t sustain her irritation. How could she be angry with him for simply reiterating his rules for their relationship?

  She sighed, a new burst of love for him swelling in her chest. “I’m not mad. Let’s just forget it, okay?” She glanced at her wristwatch. “Sheila should be here any minute and I need to gather my thoughts for my interview.”

  She felt incredibly vulnerable and desperately needed some time alone, but she knew he wanted to be here when she spoke with Sheila.

  The waitress arrived at the table and both of them ordered only drinks, knowing that they would be eating when Sheila arrived. As they waited for the Realtor to arrive, the silence between them grew uncomfortably taut.

  For the first time in her life Savannah felt no desire to fill the silence with talk. Instead she wrapped it around her like a defense against her own feelings.

  The café was quickly filling with people as dinnertime approached. Laughter rang in the air, along with the clatter of cutlery and the buzz of conversations.

  Normally Savannah would find these kinds of surroundings invigorating, but at the moment a headache began a slight pound across her forehead and she just wanted to get this day finished.

  She pulled a notepad from her purse and spent the next few minutes making notes concerning the questions she wanted to ask Sheila.

  She wasn’t really angry with Joshua, she was angry with herself. She had momentarily forgotten what had been drilled into her from the time she could understand language. Joshua hadn’t done anything wrong. She had. She’d fallen in love with a man who was emotionally unavailable.

  She looked up to see him staring out the window, and she thought of what he’d told her earlier, about what had driven him away from his family and off to New York to find himself.

  It was strange how two people as different as them, as different as their backgrounds had been, could share a common goal to discover themselves amid strangers.

  Whatever Joshua had needed, he hadn’t found it in New York and she had a feeling until he found whatever it was he needed, he had nothing to offer any woman. In any case he’d made it clear he had nothing more to offer her.

  She sat up straighter in the booth as she saw Sheila’s luxury car pull up in front of the café. It was the first time she could remember actually looking forward to talking with the abrasive, pushy woman.

  “Here she comes,” Joshua said as Sheila burst through the front door of the café. Savannah breathed a sigh of relief. It was time to focus on what was important, on what she did best. It was time to interview a woman who might know something about what was going on in this town. At least this was something she did well.

  “Savannah, darling, I’m so excited to be here,” Sheila said as she reached the booth. “And Joshua, I’m really not surprised to see you as well. The gossip mill has been working overtime about the fact that you two have been joined at the hip since you came home.”

  Joshua stood and indicated that Sheila slide into the booth opposite Savannah where he had been sitting. “Savannah and I don’t pay much attention to the gossip mill,” he said.

  Savannah thought he might move to another booth or table and leave her alone with Sheila, but instead he slid in beside Savannah, his warm thigh pressing against hers. He obviously intended to be present during th
e interview.

  “I’m just so excited to be here,” Sheila said again as she got settled in the booth. “I just love your column and can’t believe you’re going to write about little old me.” As she talked, her long dangling earrings bounced against the shoulder of her rhinestone-bedecked red jacket.

  “Shall we order some dinner before we officially begin?” Savannah asked.

  Sheila winked at her. “There’s two things I love, closing on a great real estate deal and eating.” She raised a hand to gesture for the waitress.

  As they waited for their orders Savannah and Sheila small-talked about upcoming events in town while Joshua sat silently, invading Savannah’s thoughts with his mere presence.

  “Lovely wedding the other day, wasn’t it? Imagine Clay going all the way to Hollywood to find a bride,” Sheila said.

  “Yes, it was a lovely wedding,” Savannah agreed. She tried not to remember that it had been the day of the wedding that she and Joshua had first fallen into bed together.

  The small talk continued as they ate, and it was only when their dishes had been cleared and fresh coffee poured that Savannah got down to business.

  She opened her notepad, pen ready. “I always like to start an interview by asking, what are the two things you’d like the people of this town to know about you that they might not already know?”

  Sheila frowned and reached up to twirl a strand of her bleached blond hair. “Oh my, I never thought about it before. I suppose I’d like everyone to know that everything I’ve achieved in my life has been from damned hard work and long hours. And the other thing is that I know I dress flashy and gaudy, but when I was poor and growing up I always said when I got money I’d dress to please myself, and there’s nothing I love better than gaudy flash.”

  “Tell me about your childhood. You grew up right here in Cotter Creek, didn’t you?” Savannah asked.

  “Right out there on Route 10.”

  As Sheila launched into the story of her past as one of four children of a dirt-poor rancher, Savannah tried to keep her attention focused on the interview and not on the man beside her or the questions she really wanted to ask Sheila.