by Lynn Young
Beatrice rolled her eyes. “I would think especially with him, with all of his secret missions and going all over the world, he’d be a regular Don Juan. It would be the most effective Secret Affair 166
way a guy in that type of job would be able to come down from all the tension and uncertainty of the mission.”
“Well, they did a complete blood work including diseases and my doctor said that it came back fine.”
The other woman stared at her for a moment. Then she surprised her by putting her arms around her. “Alright. I’ll stop being a downer and be happy for you. I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re going to keep it. When are you going to tell him?”
Anna Marie had to think about the question for a long moment. She already thought of the baby as hers. She had yet to get around to the fact that it was also Dallas’s. “I’m not quite sure. I guess next time I see him.”
“When is the next time you see him?”
“I’m not quite sure. But, look, I looked up on the Internet about pregnancy.” She turned the flat monitor around to Beatrice. “Look, that’s how small my baby is, right now.” Beatrice squinted her eyes. “It looks like a pea.”
“That’s exactly right. That’s how big my baby is, right now, the size of a pea.”
Beatrice studied her for a moment, seeing the incandescent happiness. “You’re really wanting this baby, aren’t you?”
Anna Marie moved the monitor back to her, some of the excitement dimming. “Yes, I do, Bea. I really want this baby more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”
”Can I ask why?”
She shrugged, struggling to find the reason. “I guess it’ll be something that will be mine only, mine alone.”
“He might want it, as well.”
“Yes, he might. Then it will be his and mine.”
Beatrice sat back and gave a sigh. “You’re in love with this guy, aren’t you?”
Anna Marie winced. “I’m afraid I am.”
“Yep, I was afraid of that.”
“That’s why this baby is so important to me. Because it came from him. It’s part of
Dallas that’s part of me. I have part of Dallas inside me.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
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She knew Beatrice was asking if she was going to be able to handle the fact that Dallas was not in love with her. “Yes, I promise you, I’ll be okay.” She rested her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes for a moment. “I’ll be more than okay.” Then she smiled hugely again. “You can be the godmother.”
To her shock the older woman’s eyes began to well up, and quickly reached for the tissue and stuffed them in Beatrice’s hands.
Beatrice wiped her eyes. “Oh, now you’re going to make this tough old cynical bird cry.” Anna Marie came around the desk to put her arms around her and the two held each other and laughed with both relief and excitement.
Anna Marie knew that the first thing she should do was to write a letter to Dallas. It was only right as the baby’s father that he be informed as soon as possible. But after several days of berating herself for not sitting down and doing the letter, she decided that she could afford to wait a few weeks to do it. She reasoned that she had a right, as the person carrying the child, to keep all to herself for a little while the joy and excitement of bringing into the world a being that she could love and take care of. For now she would make this her moment and bask in the glory of a creation that she was half responsible for.
So, for the next few weeks, she blissfully began preparations for motherhood, often
enlisting Beatrice in shopping for how-to books such as Birthing for Dummies and Pregnancy for Dummies, ABCs of Breast Feeding, and The First Important Steps In the First Three Months of Your Baby’s Life.
“You know, it’s funny how these Dummy books were written by men,” Beatrice
commented as she and Anna Marie flipped through the baby section at a book store. “In fact, I think, this was edited by…” She held up the book called Breastfeeding for Dummies. “The same author who wrote all other Dummy books, Computer Programming for Dummies, The Stock
Market for Dummies, Traveling for Dummies, Religion for Dummies, and so on. And here’s my favorite, Creating a Book Franchise for Dummies. I wonder if he has one that’s titled How to Avoid Dummy Books for Dummies.” When she turned, she saw Anna Marie arms loaded with books, a few of which were the Dummy series. “It seems a little obvious for me to point this out, but there is a very fine local library, of which you are the head librarian.”
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Anna Marie, peering her head around the pile of books, gingerly made her way towards the checkout. “I know, but most of them are a few years old, and if they’re new, they’re always checked out. Hey,” she protested when Beatrice pulled out all the Dummy books.
“You’re not a dummy, and you definitely don’t need to be instructed on how to give birth by men. They probably don’t even have any clue where the birth canal is on a woman.” By the time they arrived back at Anna Marie’s condo, her Honda Accord was loaded with not only a small library of pregnancy and baby books, but also bags and bags of baby clothes, car seat, diaper bags, bottles, dishware, swings, toys, and rattles. Beatrice just managed to prevent her from buying the changing table, a crib, and furniture.
“You can buy those things later. You still have eight months to go, kiddo. Plenty of time to max out your cards.”
While Beatrice swore every step of the way, they hauled everything into the condo. When the shopping bags were strewn all over the living room floor, Anna Marie insisted that they put the swing together.
“I can’t wait to see how it’s going to look in my living room,” she said excitedly. She began to rip open the box.
Beatrice walked to the kitchen. “Well, if you insist on making me work, the least you could do is to allow me get drunk at your expense.”
“There’s white wine in the fridge, top shelf, the very right.”
“You know, I didn’t get my degree in mechanical engineering,” Beatrice warned as she came back with the opened bottle and a glass.
“But we’re both good at following directions, aren’t we?” Anna Marie opened the
instructions.
They heard the front door open.
“Hello,” Pepper’s voice called out. “Anna, are you home? It’s me, your sister, and
Cameron.”
Beatrice took a hefty slug of her wine. “Oh, god, I’m going to need something a lot
stronger. What the hell is she doing here?” She and Pepper had met a few times over the years, and there had been little admiration for the other on each side. Pepper could not find anything fascinating about Beatrice and found little use in a dowdy, unmarried, childless, sour, spinster librarian who was fast approaching middle age. And Beatrice desired minimal interaction with a Secret Affair 169
tyrannical, shrewish, overly ambitious famous cook who interfered in everything in her sister’s life.
“Anna, I’ve been trying to call you all day.” Pepper stopped when she stepped into the living room. Her eyes widened as they took in all the bags. “What have you been doing…Oh, my god, these look like baby things.”
“Hmmm, your power of deductions never seizes to amaze me,” Beatrice said caustically.
Pepper’s eyes went cold but, unlike Beatrice, she tried to pretend to be polite. “Ms.
Summer, I see it’s you…”
“There you go again, with your amazing intellect, a regular Sherlock Holmes,” Beatrice cut in again.”
While Pepper was turning red as she struggled to withhold the spew of abuse she so badly wanted to hurl at Beatrice, behind her Cameron was doing his best to keep a straight face.
Pepper decided that the best way to handle one of the rudest persons she ever had known was to ignore her. She looked at the packages. “Well, looks like it’s quite a boon, here. Anna, honey, you really did go overboard for a friend’s shower, did
n’t you.” Then she gasped and swung around to her sister. “Oh, my god, Anna, are you…are you…this couldn’t be all for you, could it?”
A look of panic came over Anna Marie’s face. Suddenly, she knew that the last thing she wanted was to have Pepper know that she was pregnant with Dallas’s baby. At least, in this early stage of her pregnancy.
Pepper seized her sister’s hand in a bruising grip. “Anna, are you pregnant? Tell me this instant! Are you pregnant?”
“Uh…I…” was all she could manage.
“No, it isn’t Anna Marie who is pregnant. All this is for me,” Beatrice said.
Both Anna Marie and her sister stared at her with dumbfounded expressions.
“But, you’re too old,” Pepper said with some distaste.
“Pepper,” Anna Marie said sharply.
“Well, she is. Look at her, she’s fifty, way past her prime, and in her menopause.”
“I’m am forty-three, Mrs. Trenton,” Beatrice said icily. “And as much as my appearance may tell otherwise, I still have some eggs in my ovaries.”
“But, you’re not married.”
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Cameron winced. Beatrice narrowed her eyes. And Anna Marie was positive that she was about to take a swing at Pepper.
“But, you’re old,” Pepper said again.
Beatrice did step closer to her. Cameron quickly stepped between them.
He took his wife’s arms. “Listen, honey, why don’t we go on to the restaurant and meet my parents. We’re running a little late anyway.” He determinedly began to usher her towards the door. “Congratulations, Ms. Summer. Anna, sorry to interrupt. We’ll be seeing you.”
“Boy, your sister…” Beatrice said when they left. “If your sister didn’t have her husband, I think she’d be dead by now. He should be awarded the Nobel Prize for being married to modern day Medusa.” She waded through the pile of bags and picked up the instructions to the swing.
“Thank you, Bea.”
“For
what?”
“For
doing
that.”
“That’s alright. I figured it’ll be my only chance to be pregnant, so I might as well make the most of the opportunity.”
“I just couldn’t tell her that I was pregnant, especially Dallas’s baby.”
Bea went up to her and put her arms around Anna Marie. “Honey, you don’t need to
explain yourself. I have eyes of my own, and a brain.”
Then to both their shocks, Anna Marie threw her arms around Beatrice’s neck and burst into tears and began to sob. The older woman tightened her hold on her and rocked her, letting her cry it out.
“God, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Anna Marie said as she pulled back. “Where did that come from? A gesture of sympathy and I’m a mess.”
Beatrice patted her shoulders. “It was a lot of things, honey. It’s all catching up with you.
The shock of the pregnancy, the excitement, the whirlwind adventure of preparing for your pending motherhood, Cyclone Pepper…”
Anna Marie laughed, beginning to feel better.
“And hormones. And if I remember correctly, you’re going to have many more of these
emotional episodes during the next several months. So, you better get used it. And start buying cases of tissues.”
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Pepper and Cameron came into the library the next day. She looked around, not knowing where to go or who she should see, as if she had never been in a library before and she didn’t quite know how to orient herself in one.
“Pepper,” Anna Marie said with surprise. She was at the help desk to help out her staff during the late afternoon hours when they were often busy. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you, Anna.”
Anna Marie looked at her sister then at Cameron, who gave her a look of apology.
“Well, I’m kind of busy at the moment. Can I call you later?”
Ignoring her sister’s request, Pepper asked, “Can we talk somewhere private? I feel this is a real emergency.”
“I really can’t, right now…”
“Please, Anna,” Pepper said with barely restrained patience. “I really would like to talk to you, now.”
Anna Marie cast her eyes at the three lines of people that had formed in front of the help desk, each line at least ten people. “Look, Pepper, I really can’t, right now…”
“Please, Anna,” her sister said, her voice loud so that everyone could hear.
“Geez, Pepper, giver her a break,” Cameron finally said.
One of the young assistants touched Anna Marie’s arm and gave her a reassuring nod.
Anna Marie indicated to her staff that she would be but a few minutes and stepped out in front of the counter. She led her sister a few steps away. “Alright, if it’s that important, but I can only talk for a few minutes. I can’t leave the desk short staffed for long. Now, Pepper, what is it that you need to talk to me that it couldn’t wait for a few more hours?”
“I had to come here and stop you from ruining your life, Anna.”
“What?”
“You’re ruining your life. And it doesn’t help that you’re only closest friend, who is a middle-aged spinster, is having a baby on her own.”
“Oh, Christ, Pepper. Is this what was so important that you had to take me away from my work?”
“I’m worried about you, Anna. You need to find a man, before you become your friend.” Anna Marie rubbed her forehead with her hand. “Look, Pepper, I really appreciate your concern on this, but can we, at least, talk about it later?” She gave a wince when she felt a twinge Secret Affair 172
in her belly. It was the third one she had felt since she woke up. She tried to remember what she had eaten last night that might have given her indigestion. The pregnancy books had said that a woman’s digestion could go through changes.
Pepper grabbed her arm and pulled her closer and said in an urgent whisper, “This is an emergency, Anna. And I intend to help you through this. Now, I want you to come over to the house for dinner tonight. I invited Richard, this guy who has an office above my restaurant. I think he sells stocks or bonds, or something. He came from Atlanta, Georgia. He’s about your age, and he’s single, and no kids.”
“No, Pepper, you’re not setting me up again. The last time you did that, you didn’t even realize he was gay.”
Pepper frowned. “Who’s gay?”
“Josh. The interior designer that you set me up with a few months ago at your restaurant.”
“Josh? He’s gay? I never knew that.”
“It was all but written on his forehead.” Anna Marie winced again as she felt another twinge. “Cameron even knew that.”
Pepper gave her husband a sharp look. “Did you know Josh was gay?”
Cameron rolled his eyes. “Everyone knew.”
“How come I didn’t? How come you didn’t tell me?”
Cameron’s face was bland, and Anna Marie was sure that he had tried to point out the fact but his wife had refused to listen to him, so intent, as usual, on her purpose for the interior designer.
“Well, then, is Richard gay?” Pepper asked her husband.
“No, honey, Richard’s not gay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, honey, I’m sure.”
“Good.” Pepper turned back to her sister. “You’re coming over tonight. Six-thirty. Don’t be late.”
Before Anna Marie could respond, Pepper was walking away. Cameron gave her an
apologetic look, shrugged his shoulders and followed his wife. Anna Marie heaved a sigh, then grimaced as another cramp, a much stronger one, flared in her abdomen, and she almost doubled Secret Affair 173
over. She stilled until she could get her breath back. And when she did, she went to her office, thinking, perhaps, she needed to rest for a moment.
An hour later, Beatrice opened the door of her office. “There’s
a guy out here who wants to know if we can order a loan from a library in Alaska on trout fishing.” She became alarmed when she saw Anna Marie doubled over in her chair and her face white as a sheet. “Oh, my god, what’s wrong?”
“I…think…I think you need to take me to the hospital,” Anna Marie managed to gasp in between the pain.
Beatrice reached for the phone. “I’m calling emergency.”
“No!” Anna Marie clumsily grabbed the phone from her. “No! No ambulance, no fire
truck, or paramedics. Just take me to the hospital.” She doubled over again, crying out as another cramp bit into her.
“You need an ambulance, honey.”
“Please, Bea, just take me. It’s only a mile away. I don’t want anyone to see me. I don’t want them to know about the baby. Oh, my god, the baby!” Tears came to her eyes as she began to realize what the pain might mean. “Please, quickly, get me to your car.”
“Alright. Alright.” Bea grabbed Anna Marie’s purse. “Can you walk?”
She nodded, one hand on her stomach, the other gripping Beatrice’s arm. Her teeth were gritted and she said with an uncharacteristically iron determination, “Yes, I will walk.” Beatrice led her out of the building through the back entrance, grabbing her own purse from her office on the way.
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Chapter 14
At the hospital, the doctor told Anna Marie that she had miscarried.
Once she was allowed to see her friend in a recovery room, Beatrice had expected to find her in a torrent of tears. When she entered the room, the small woman lying in the hospital bed was quiet, even stiff to the point of being lifeless, her face pale, her gray eyes dull. An eerie calm seemed to have settled over her.
“How are you feeling?” Beatrice asked.
Anna Marie shrugged as if she cared little of how she felt. “Fine, I guess.”
“I’m so sorry about the baby, honey.”
She looked up at her friend and some of the calmness cracked as tears swam in her large gray eyes. “I guess it was too good to be true. It just wasn’t meant to be that I should have any part of him. God, what am I going to do with all that stuff I bought?”
“Don’t worry about it, Anna. I’ll take them back. All of it.”
