Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel

by Clarke Scott, M A

  “No-ooo.” D'arcy sobbed helplessly. She turned her back on the others, and rummaged in her bag for a tissue, weeping into it, her shoulders shaking.

  Kate moved closer, and rubbed her back. “Calm yourself, D'arcy. You know how volatile he can be. Don’t give up. We’ll work this out yet.”

  “Hah.” Sharon cracked. “I’m not so sure. I knew this would never work. Madame Duchamp was right all along. This is what she predicted.”

  “What?” Darcy whirled around, her face streaked with mascara.

  “When your mother retained me, she said it would be Eli who walked out in the end. She said he was a stubborn little boy who had to have his own way.”

  “I know Mother doesn’t approve of him, but she would never cheer for us to break up. She knows I love Eli.” The flow of tears resumed as her face crumpled pitifully.

  “She knows you’ll be better off without him,” scolded Sharon.

  Kate embraced D'arcy and rubbed her back again, trying to sooth. She turned on Sharon bitterly. “I suspected you had a vested interest all along, Sharon. More than just skepticism about mediation. Tell me the truth. Were you hired to make sure it didn’t work out? Is that it?” Kate jutted her chin at Sharon, her voice rising in anger.

  “You’d like that wouldn’t you,” Sharon’s voice was filled with rancor. “That would make it so easy for you. Then you wouldn’t have to admit to failure. But no, I’m afraid it’s not true. Skeptical or not, I’m here in good faith. The Duchamps really do want whatever makes their little girl happy, however foolish it seems to them. No, I’m afraid you’ll have to face up to the limitation of your idealistic methods. That’s the point isn’t it? You’ve been more invested in a reconciliation for your own reasons than because it’s right for your clients.” Sharon narrowed her eyes. “I know about your little award, you know. I believe your romantic entanglement has thrown you off your game, and compromised your professional integrity.” She threw her head back defiantly, her small feral teeth showing between narrow unsmiling lips, and Kate’s heart went cold. “You can expect me to file a complaint, by the way.”

  “Sharon. Don’t, please,” Simon entreated sharply.

  Ignoring him, Sharon, too, picked up her coat, and threw a withering glance at Simon. “Let me know when you want the divorce proceedings to recommence, dear,” she said in a cool voice to D'arcy, and walked calmly out the open door.

  D’arcy’s erupted into fresh tears and Kate held her for some time until she was calmer. “It’s not over. Don’t worry. Everyone’s emotional today. Let’s give ourselves some time to calm down and think a bit. I’ll call you in a couple of days. We’ll go over it all and we’ll make a plan.” She held D’arcy’s face in her palms and nodded with an encouraging smile, though her resolve was faint. Just what would that plan be? Things couldn’t be much worse.

  D’arcy’s head came up, her brows knit, and she looked so young and vulnerable. “What was Sharon talking about? What complaint?”

  Kate closed her eyes, resigned. It was time to face her problems head on. “Sit down a minute, D'arcy.” She led D'arcy back to the sofa and sat across from her, leaning forward, elbows on knees. “I should have talked to you about this long ago.” Simon lingered, standing with his arms crossed watching them, chewing the inside of his cheek. She sighed. “What Sharon is referring to… is the fact that Simon and I… were more than acquaintances in college. Much more.” Darcy’s eyes widened. “Technically, we should have divulged that fact the moment he walked into the boardroom that first day.” She squirmed in her seat. “But, it was such a long time ago and we hadn’t stayed in touch. I… don’t know why, but I just let it go. And Simon too.” She peered into D’arcy’s face. “That was wrong.”

  “Go on…”

  “Well that’s it. We’ve become reacquainted, obviously. Then Sharon found out that we knew… that we had ahh… a relationship back in college and she’s been making a fuss ever since.”

  “A—are you together again?” asked D'arcy, her eyes wide.

  Kate’s breath froze in her chest. “No!”

  “Yes.” Simon spoke simultaneously. Kate shot him a hard glare.

  D’arcy’s looked from one to the other, the light dawning in her eyes. “Oh. I see.”

  Kate drew a deep breath. “It’s complicated, D'arcy. Because of the past. But I promise, as long as I’m representing you, my focus is exclusively on you and Eli and your needs. You can trust me to be completely impartial, and to advise and represent you both. Our…” She waved a hand between Simon and herself “…relationship can have no bearing on your case, no matter what Sharon might imply. She’s just trying to make trouble.” She smiled reassuringly.

  “She’s succeeding, isn’t she?” D'arcy said.

  Kate pressed her lips together. “That remains to be seen. She knows I’m to be presented with a career award in the new year. So she thinks she’s got me by the tail. Anyway, it shouldn’t concern you, so don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” Kate glanced over at Simon, who stood, tight lipped, his arms folded over his chest. A ripple of nerves fluttered through her, from her knees to her throat.

  Simon walked D'arcy to the door and, closing it behind her when she left, turned to face Kate, a look of apprehension in his eyes, his jaw set, the corner of his mouth twitching.

  In that moment, Simon seemed to be the cause of all her problems. Her frayed emotions snapped their bindings. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? We almost had this case resolved.”

  Simon shrugged and moved towards her. “There was no opportunity to speak to you about my concerns about Eli or D'arcy. Maybe you would have handled it differently. But under the circumstances… ” He lifted both hands, palms open, and shrugged. “It had to come out. I could see it festering.”

  Anger rose up inside her, her voice stuck in her tight throat, threatening to break. A rock hard tension gathered in her chest and stomach. “You can bet I would have handled it differently. What makes you an expert mediator, all of a sudden? You’re the one that fanned that fire. It wouldn’t have been an issue.”

  “Bullshit. Don’t tell me you didn’t see it. That you’re satisfied with such a superficial analysis,” Simon’s voice rose in indignation, and his face darkened. “It would have blown up in their faces. They would have been back in divorce court in months. Be honest. You’re better than that. You can’t have sent them off in the belief that everything was fine.”

  “We were on the verge of a resolution. Why are you trying to sabotage this case? It’s important to me. My reputation is at stake here.” Kate was trembling now, her anger ebbing away as she shifted her focus to her clients instead of her own emotional turmoil.

  “That’s ridiculous. I’m trying to help.” Simon’s hands flew up, pleading as he turned away.

  “How can a big face off between Eli and D’arcy’s family help them? Eli has no deeper problem with the in-laws than class difference. It’s his insecurities. Trying to force them together will only be painful for everyone.”

  “I didn’t say it would be easy,” Simon quietly agreed.

  "Eli’s temper is so capricious.” Kate thought that Simon might be right. “He was strange today.”

  “Yeah. Dangerously cool. It gave me a very uneasy feeling.”

  “Has he told you something you’re not at liberty to say?”

  “No. I wish he had.” Simon raised a loose fist to his chin and nodded with these words. “I should call him and see what I can find out.”

  She bristled again. “No.” She didn’t want him so closely involved in her work. “I mean, don’t get his back up. I want to be able to talk to him, too. Maybe even meet one-on-one. We have a good rapport. He might confide in me,” said Kate. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

  “You need to work on D'arcy,” said Simon.

  Oh. The tendons in her neck tightened. Now he was telling her what to do.

  “I’m more convinced than ever that she’s withholding
something. She seems stressed. She’s gained weight. She’s so… emotional all of a sudden,” he added pensively.

  What an asinine, sexist comment. Kate’s frustration was building. “Why wouldn’t she be stressed? Look what she’s going through. Women are emotional. So are men. So what?”

  “Don’t get so defensive.” He stepped back slightly, his brows coming up in alarm. “I mean, she’s changed so much in the past month; she’s like a different woman. I thought I got a pretty good reading when I first met her. But now, she’s less confident. And I feel like she’s hiding something. It’s the other thing that needs to surface before they can reconcile. I’m convinced of it.”

  Kate found it difficult to meet his eyes. She gazed broodingly out the window at the ceaseless rain. She felt cold suddenly, and shivered. “I don’t know. I think she’s just feeling vulnerable,” she mumbled. “And why wouldn’t she be? She’s finding it difficult to trust you given your past behavior.”

  Simon started. He was silent, and studied her for a moment. “You mean—Eli?—His past behavior?”

  “That’s what I said.” She glanced at him, feeling restless and irritable, and shifted her weight. Isn’t it?

  “Right.” He stood silently for a moment, considering her. “I think Eli’s come a long way, actually. I believe he’s really committed to the changes. But now it’s D’arcy’s turn to come clean. She has to be honest with herself and with him. But there’s something more… ” he paused.

  “Why are you picking on D'arcy?” Kate crossed her arms.

  He shook his head, plainly perplexed. “I’m not picking on her. It’s very subtle. I think because of the power imbalance, she’s accustomed to…” He scowled in thought. “In order for him to take responsibility, she has to give him some room. She has to trust him, and rely on him. She has to let go of her control. Soften up a little.”

  She stiffened. “Why are you so hard on independent women? I get the impression you would like them all to be soft little maidens, all innocence and dependence.”

  Simon’s mouth fell open in astonishment, his eyes widening. “Where is this coming from? I’m talking about D'arcy.”

  “Are you?” Kate shook her head, looking at him. “It’s almost like you’re afraid of strong women. You’ve transferred all your own fears about powerful women to D'arcy. And maybe to me, too. Is that why you have to undermine my efforts to mediate?”

  He stared at her for a long moment, his lips pursed thoughtfully. “It’s the opposite. I thought I married a strong woman. But I’ve learned what real strength looks like, that’s all. And it’s not hard. It’s about having the courage to be open and vulnerable.” Simon stepped closer and dipped his head to peer deeply into her eyes, “And I’m not trying to interfere with your role here. I’m truly trying to help you to help them. I care about these two. But they won’t make a go of it with skeletons in their closets.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she cried, turning away, her arms akimbo.

  “God, you can be stubborn, woman. You’re in denial. Maybe Sharon’s right. You’ve missed some critical problems, here. I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I know I’m not.” He took another step toward her and reached out one hand, running his fingertips lightly across her shoulder.

  His touch seared her and unleashed all the emotions she’d been holding in so tightly for three days. “Don’t touch me!” She whirled, pulling away from his hand.

  “You can’t go on pretending nothing is happening. That you’re not affected by it.” He stood quietly beside her.

  Why did he have to be so calm? So mature? She felt as though she was being boxed into a corner. A sudden, desperate thought surfaced.

  “Oh, I think I understand. You want this case to end so you can pursue your own selfish interests. You don’t care about Eli and D'arcy at all, do you? You just want to end this case to get it out of your way. That’s it, isn’t it?”

  He grunted cynically. “Look who’s talking.” He shook his head, grimacing. “You know that’s not fair. I did it because it’s right. If I wanted the case to hurry up and end, all I had to do was keep my mouth shut. As you said, we were wrapping up. You could have sent them away happy and washed your hands of them. But I do care what happens to them. I can’t pretend not to see what I plainly see. That would have been dishonest and irresponsible.”

  She knew he was right. Knowing that he did see it and she had missed it is what upset her the most. She tucked her loose hair behind her ears. Her emotional turmoil over her relationship with Simon had truly dulled her insight. Sharon had every right to report her to the Mediators’ Society. She had allowed private feelings to interfere with her objectivity and effectiveness at work.

  Suddenly, she was overwhelmed with the foreboding that all her years of hard work making herself into a respected, competent mediator had come undone. Her breath felt short and her chest too tight. Her throat constricted as she felt burning behind her eyes. Why is this happening? What have I done to deserve all this chaos and disruption? Simon’s face blurred behind a curtain of tears, and a small whimper escaped.

  Then his arms came around her and she could hold back no longer, letting her tears and her fears and disappointments spill over unchecked. She could feel his soft hands stroking her back and hair and hear his muffled voice crooning soothing words against her ear. “Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

  Some minutes later, she raised her head, spent, and sniffling, accepted the handkerchief he held out for her. She turned aside, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose and then, pocketing the sodden hanky, stood uncertainly, her eyes downcast.

  “Better?” he asked. He bent his head and gently pressed his lips against her forehead for a few exquisite moments, and gently stroked her hair once more.

  She nodded, and a hiccup escaped her throat. She was surprised how much better she felt, for just having been held by him, despite the fact that nothing had changed. It shouldn’t be that way. But it was. Oh, how she longed to lose herself in his arms, and forget everything.

  “You don’t really believe what you told D'arcy, do you? That everything will be okay?” he asked.

  She looked up at him. His expression was pensive, his eyes searching. “No. I don’t. I don’t know.” Maybe it wouldn’t be as dire as Sharon implied, but something would happen. Kate gripped her knot pendant, gnawing her cheek. Maybe she deserved to be reprimanded.

  His mouth twitched into a half-hearted, asymmetrical smile, and fell again. “I do, actually.”

  “How can you? You’ve just admitted that neither of us has been thinking clearly lately. I plainly am not able to concentrate, and am not in tune with my clients as I should be, however much I disagree with what you did today.”

  “Everyone has a private life. But people are expected to deal with it and carry on doing their jobs. This is no different, Kate.” He shrugged. “We may be involved with each other, but it poses no conflict with our roles as agents for D'arcy and Eli.” He paused. “As long as we can be honest about it.”

  “You really believe that?” It was a comforting thought. The problem was Kate wasn’t sure she bought it.

  “I do. Can I make you some fresh tea?”

  She nodded gratefully. That was the trouble with Simon, she thought. Just when she ought to be tossing him out on his ear, she really cherished having him around. She had come to rely on him as a trusted friend. And right now, she really needed a friend. How the devil am I going to deal with this?

  He carried two mugs of steaming tea back to the living room, and they sat down on the sofa, facing the rain-streaked window. She settled back, tucking her legs under her, and held her tea cupped between two hands, letting the steam rise up to warm her face before braving a sip of the soothing hot liquid. A comfortable silence stretched on, during which Kate was viscerally aware of his presence.

  Finally, he spoke. “I have to admit, I’ve underestimated Sharon’s trouble-making capa
city. I should have made an effort to short-circuit this before now.”

  “So. You finally see my point?” she asked, with a wan smile.

  He turned to face her. Too near, she could feel the heat of his body, and it did wild, frenzied things to her blood. He drew a breath and gazed at her. “I do. Yes. And I’m willing to… give it a rest until this case is resolved. I don’t know how I’ll stand it. But let me be perfectly clear. You’re not through with me. When this is over, I’ll be knocking on your door, and wanting to pick up the pieces.” His clear blue eyes pierced hers intently as he delivered these words. There was no misunderstanding them.

  Her heart leapt into her throat, unbidden. Kate couldn’t be sure if she was ecstatic or terrified by this admission. She needed time to sort out her own feelings. It was just as well then, that Simon was willing to give her some space.

  It wasn’t easy to ignore his rangy body draped across her sofa, the warm musky, masculine smell of him, the creases in his smooth blue cotton shirt and the waving tendrils of golden hair against his collar and over his elfin ears, casually sipping tea with her as though he belonged here. But at least he wasn’t devouring her with his eyes. His presence was comforting, but also disconcerting and distracting. I can get through this without falling apart. I can stay calm and in control.

  She dared to look into his eyes. All she saw there was naked honesty and kindness. Nothing threatening. But she was frightened all the same. “I won’t promise anything, Simon. It might be for the best if we just leave things where they are. I don’t know. We’ll see.”

  He didn’t reply at once, but gazed at her, his sky blue eyes shining with emotion, and at the same time shadowed with questions and doubts. She could see the muscles in his jaw clenching, his nostrils flaring, and his soft, sensual mouth twitching involuntarily as his thoughts swirled. She could hear him breathing against the backdrop of steadily drumming rain on the windowpanes. Finally, he dropped his eyes and nodded once, without a word. When he looked up a moment later, he had put away his raw emotions and his need, and pasted a determinedly cheerful expression on his face, though she still sensed his tension in the flare of his nostrils and set of his jaw.