Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel

by Clarke Scott, M A

  Simon evaded D’arcee’s teasing by changing the subject, accepting his cup of tea and addressing her. “You two sure don’t look like you need us anymore, if you ask me. What are we doing here when we all could be catching up on our Christmas shopping?”

  “Patience now. We’re almost there,” smiled Kate. “Today we’re going over the final, final, resolution agreement, which will be an important tool for D'arcy and Eli in the coming years.” She emphasized her point with a raised hand, palm out, like a vow, then shrugged. “Then I just need to meet briefly with them for signatures. You attorneys are scot-free after today,” she teased, tossing a small smile in Simon’s direction, “and are most welcome to go shopping, if it pleases you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re only here for the baking, anyway.”

  “Busted!” mumbled Simon, past a mouthful of scone, grinning. He swallowed loudly, and Kate tore her eyes away from his bobbing Adam’s apple, wishing she could press her mouth against his warm skin.

  He continued. “What do you say, Sharon? Should we call up Rachel and head out for a shopping spree? She hasn’t told me what she wants for Christmas. I'm sure she's confided in you.” Sharon looked up sharply, a question posed in her eyes. He grinned idiotically at her.

  What was that all about? Kate’s assertion that he and Rachel were reconciling was compelling, but it was supposed to be a lie. Wasn’t it? He seemed to be rubbing Sharon’s nose in it. But what did he mean by it? The notion obviously troubled Sharon more than she let on. Kate could only hope her own misery didn’t show.

  “Perhaps next week, Simon. I’m already booked up this week.” Sharon smiled stiffly, clearly unsure whether he was joking or not.

  Kate turned away to read sections of the agreement for Eli and D'arcy to review, and Sharon paid rapt attention, though Kate detected her eyes sliding back and forth from Kate to Simon, curious and ever vigilant.

  There was an undercurrent of tension between Kate and Sharon that seethed under the surface like a sleeping serpent, keeping Kate on edge, though they were both putting on a good pretense of indifference. Kate could sense Sharon puzzling over the notion of Simon and Rachel reconciling, and almost pitied her. If it weren’t for her own insecurities.

  Just as Kate read a statement about trust, D'arcy blurted.

  “I have to say something.” She cast her eyes hopefully around the table, waiting.

  Kate looked up from her page. “Yes?” What new confession was this?

  D'arcy hesitated, facing her audience like a firing squad, her hazel eyes wide. “I had a long chat with my mother.”

  Everyone’s eyes drifted expectantly toward her.

  “I knew I was missing something.” She eyed Eli nervously. “I knew I was being shielded from something. So I confronted her.”

  Kate’s eyes darted to Eli. His eyes creased thoughtfully, but he said nothing.

  “I think she knew I wasn’t going to be put off. Or maybe she needed to come clean.” D’arcee’s nasal voice dropped to a half whisper. “She confessed everything. She told me about the… the bribe, Eli.” She turned to him sympathetically, her anguish at this discovery still evident. Eli winced ever so slightly, but held his tongue. “Oh, Eli…

  “I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you didn’t. She and Papa have regretted it for years. Long before we had difficulties, they knew they’d been wrong about you, but what could they do? They feared you.” She reached for his hand, and squeezed it. “They thought you would tell me, of course, and when you didn’t right away, they felt...” She hesitated, her shoulders twitching slightly in a tiny shrug. “They thought I’d be so angry that I would disown them, or something. Mother was in tears, if you can imagine.”

  Kate couldn’t.

  Eli gave his head a minute shake. “It’s all over now, cher,” he said, his tragic eyes belying the nonchalant tone of voice he sought. “They love you very much. They were trying to protect you, that’s all.”

  “Don’t defend them! What they did was unconscionable. You’re my husband. I’m their daughter. Somehow, there needed to be an expression of faith, and it never came until you had the courage to face her and force the point."

  Eli's gaze darted to Kate, then back to D'arcy.

  "She now realizes that you have too much integrity to ever have used that information to drive a wedge between us, that you bore the weight alone all these years. She begged my forgiveness, Eli, but it is you whose forgiveness they need.”

  “Don’t worry, cher. Your mother and I have an understanding. It’s okay now.”

  “She respects you very much. Eli, I respect you very much.” There were tears glistening in D’arcy’s wide mossy eyes and she placed the palm of her hand against his shadowed cheek. They gazed at each other intently, oblivious to the others. Kate’s throat ached, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. A hush descended.

  “Excuse me, I’m going to put some more water on,” she murmured, and quickly slid out of her chair and strode away.

  Sharon seemed to understand that the two of them needed a few minutes alone, and excused herself too, heading for the bathroom.

  Simon stood up without a word as Kate escaped into the kitchen, leaving the hushed sound of D’arcy’s tears, and Eli’s muffled voice behind her. Deeply moved by D’arcy’s words, Kate stood perfectly still, one hand on the empty kettle, the other dabbing at her nose and eyes with a tissue.

  Simon’s voice behind her was spoken softly, so as not to startle her. “There, you see? Anything’s possible.”

  She whirled around, her eyes wide, a hot flush rising up her neck. “Oh. It’s more than I could have dreamt.”

  He rested his fingertips lightly on either side of her ribs. “Perhaps there’s still hope for us.”

  Oh. She thought she could avoid this. She slowly lowered her eyelids, shaking her head. “Please. Don’t. You don’t know—”

  “Yes, I do know,” he insisted. “Sharon phoned to gloat about her evil machinations. That’s how I learned about my rumoured reconciliation with Rachel.” A corner of his mouth pulled up.

  “Well, then,” she whispered. “You shouldn’t even—”

  He laid the back of his knuckles gently against her cheek. “We have to spend some time together. I miss you desperately. It’s time for us to exorcise a few demons of our—”

  She pulled away. “No. We can’t. You’re just giving her ammunition. Besides…” Kate felt hot tears rising, and she turned brusquely away and filled the kettle, slamming it onto the stove and hurrying out of the kitchen, leaving him standing with his eyes closed, clearly frustrated. Another moment with him and her emotion would be impossible to hide.

  Kate resumed her seat at the table, trying to smile at D'arcy and Eli to cover her own distress. Simon came in and sat down, and Sharon joined them a moment later. Before long, the kettle’s whistle pierced the air insistently, and she realized that she had forgotten to light the stove. Simon must have done it. She shot him a curious glance before rising and picking up the teapot.

  “I’ll be right back with fresh tea.”

  When she got to the kitchen she made the tea, and then noticed a note resting on the countertop that hadn’t been there before. She squinted at the familiar, angular handwriting.

  I can’t stand this. I know you’re worried about Sharon, but the worst is already done. We’ll deal with it. We have to find a way to talk. I need to understand what’s going on between us. I want to see you. This is so important to me. Please. When can we meet?

  A tremor dashed down her spine and arms. She paused a moment to calm her agitated, shallow breathing. I am so confused! Why can’t he just wait a couple of weeks?

  When she returned with the teapot, Simon was busily bent over his document as though unaware of her discomfort while Sharon read aloud to D'arcy and Eli with her suggested revisions.

  Kate set the teapot down with a thud in front of Simon without looking at him, and picked up her papers, her stomach roiling. “I’m sorry. Coul
d you repeat that, please, Sharon?”

  They went back and forth, clause by clause, discussing various additions and deletions, marking up their copies. Her mind wandered.

  What should I do? Just ignore him! What else can I do?

  They’d moved on a couple of pages, back on the subject of career, income and education, and Kate hunched over her draft, industriously making margin notes. She read out a proposed change, directing her attention primarily toward Eli and D'arcy at the other end of the table, her voice low.

  “I’m sorry, I missed that,” Simon said.

  She turned her head and stared at him, his expression puzzled and hesitant under her fierce glare. She frowned at him, unsure if she was more angry or bewildered.

  Simon seemed to shrink back, as though regretting his rash words, or dreading her reaction. She looked pointedly into his worried eyes and said, “Here. Read my notes,” deadpan, handing him a page of her draft agreement, and returning her attention to the others. He took it, his eyes screwed up, and reviewed what she had written in the margins, nodding, glowering.

  He handed the page back, and almost didn’t notice the small scrap of paper that fell onto his draft in front of him. He jerked suddenly and set another page quickly atop her reply, returning her page with a sharp look.

  She felt like a schoolgirl passing notes, and glanced nervously at Sharon, a proxy for the stern schoolteacher, ready to rap their knuckles.

  “Thanks.” Kate avoided meeting his eye. She was aware of him surreptitiously reading her quickly scribbled note, undetected she hoped, since everyone’s head was bent over their own pages, jotting notes or reading.

  Stop this nonsense! she had written. Just leave it alone. I promised I wouldn’t “see” you while the case is still open. Don’ t you get it? She’s watching us like a hawk. It’s too risky, and furthermore, I don’t want to get mixed up in your family situation. You don’t even know whether you want to be married or not. You need to focus on your family first. Forget about me.

  She saw him scowl over his papers, his breath slow and ragged.

  Please, Simon, she begged him silently. Stop playing games! They could not ignore the professional ethics claim. He could ruin everything for her by behaving this way. Sharon’s accusations couldn’t be given any further validity.

  She sighed and shut her eyes as she saw him pick up his pen.

  She knew he’d written her another note, but he just sat stiffly, his blunt fingers tapping impatiently on the tabletop. The discussion continued, and Kate almost came to believe she was mistaken, or that he’d changed his mind. They were discussing career and education at length when he spoke.

  “Oh, that reminds me…” he stopped abruptly, realizing he’d interrupted, “Sorry… I’m sorry, I just remembered something. It’ll wait. Please, carry on.” He waved a hand at Sharon and D'arcy who blinked and frowned at him like he was off his rocker. Eli smirked and gave him a wry, suspicious smile that baffled Kate.

  She could barely concentrate as they listened to D'arcy talk about her interest in political affairs, and how she had always wanted to go back to school to study more political science and international affairs and possibly work as a lobbyist.

  When the topic seemed to be nearly spent, and Sharon was suggesting a new clause or two in expectation of future career changes and educational opportunities, even after the family was started, Simon suddenly turned to Kate and spoke in a stage whisper, just loud enough for the others to hear what he said. “Uh. I remembered the conversation we had about Mediation and I… uh… was wondering if you had found that program brochure from the Justice Institute. I think you said… ” he paused expectantly, and she could see what he wanted in his sharp blue eyes, “…that you had it somewhere.”

  She could just as easily have shut him down, but it would seem rude to just brush him off. Instead, she put on a polite sardonic face, and turning, said. “Yes. Of course, I still have it. Let me find it for you.” Rising slowly, she went to a file cabinet against the window, and bent to throw open a drawer. After riffling through, she extracted a file, returned and set it on the table, opening it and flipping through until she found what she wanted. “Here. This will give you some idea of what’s involved— the coursework, etcetera. It would be different for you, of course.”

  It would have been too easy if no one else had picked up on his McGuffin. Eli raised his eyebrows curiously. “Changing careers, are we, Simon?”

  “Well… ” he shrugged. “No… Maybe.” He was flustered, obviously unprepared to defend himself. “Just curious.” He made a show of leafing through the brochure until Eli’s attention had drifted back to the main discussion. Kate too, forced herself to turn her attention away. Eventually he passed the brochure back to the table in front of her, pretending to lose interest in it, and she understood that another note awaited her.

  She lifted the brochure’s cover and could not stop herself from twitching slightly upon finding his note, slyly shuffling papers as she discretely read it.

  Okay. Alright. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship or your reputation. But you have to promise me—it’s not over. Don’t shut me out! Promise you will see me when the coast is clear. I will wait. I promise. It’s worth it to me. You’re worth it to me. I know what I and my family need. Trust me. Please give me a chance.

  Oh my God! He acknowledged what she’d been saying and he was still insistent that he wanted to… to whatever. Did this mean that he wasn’t… that he wouldn’t… ? Oh, she didn’t know what it meant, but her internal organs were twisting and clenching, despite her willful desire to push down the flutter of hope that made her tremble and perspire, that made her heart trip and clatter like a box of china teacups.

  Simon sat with his eyes cast down, and she could feel his tension. He really didn’t know how she would respond, or how she felt. But despite her fears and reservations about their past, she realized she wanted to find out more. She had changed. She cast her eyes about the table, not pausing to look at anyone, but moving from face to face, making certain she was not being observed, then let her eyes rest on him.

  He slowly raised his eyes to hers, burning with an intense blue light.

  Their gaze met, and she felt herself flush hot and cold, and her eyes burn with a multitude of emotions, a swirling mix of affection and annoyance, anxiety and anticipation. Whatever she thought he wanted or needed, she couldn’t resist him. She loved him.

  Their eyes locked for several long moments, hers straining to express all that she was feeling in the absence of words, or touches. Recovering herself sharply, she felt rather than saw Sharon studying them in a smug way and Kate was left to wonder what she thought she knew and how much damage she could wreak in a week or two.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  It was impossible to concentrate. The work was tedious despite the encouraging progress. Follow-through with details had never been Kate’s strength, but she knew from experience that this process helped her clients move forward.

  Her emotions were a ship at sea, tossed on the waves of a turbulent storm.

  Kate wasn’t convinced that Simon knew what he wanted. Even if he were attracted to her, he seemed to be of two minds, since he was clearly reluctant to cut ties with his wife by finalizing the divorce, while behaving like a lovelorn fool with herself. Well, she wouldn’t be fickle, rushing headlong into another mistake. She had some common sense, and a very good idea of how badly it could go if you fooled yourself into believing you were in love, and were disappointed.

  The trouble was, she was fickle, and weak, particularly when it came to Simon Sharpe. Against her better judgment, she wanted to swoon at his pleading note. How could she say no? She stole a glance at his profile while he bent his head to read, fingers of energy radiating off of him, calling to her. How she wanted to reach out and touch his strong angled jaw, stroke his bow-shaped mouth that always hid a smile, tuck his soft blond waves behind his finely shaped ear. She wanted him so much she
burned with it, was tempted to throw caution to the wind, and give in to him even under the eagle-eyed scrutiny of Sharon.

  In a perverse way, she was grateful to Sharon. Without her interference, and the pressures of the case, Kate would surely have been lost and unable to save herself long ago, before she was able to temper her desire with mature common sense. Perhaps she could avoid him demolishing her heart again, if she put a stop to their entanglement now.

  She could even understand and forgive herself for indulging in a little fantasy. How could she not succumb to the charms of a man she had been crazy about as a girl. But if it was going to end, now was the time, before any real damage was done. Her very satisfactory life would go on without Simon in it, as it had before, and perhaps she would be a little wiser. Trouble was, just the thought of that made her heart squeeze painfully, and her eyes scald with unshed tears.

  Blinking, she glanced at her watch. It was past noon. According to her house rules, no one worked through lunch. “It’s after twelve people. But we’re very close to the end of the document, I think another hour should do it, but I don’t want to push anyone. Are you feeling hungry or tired? Can we continue?” She looked around, waiting, while everyone consulted stomachs and watches.

  Sharon shrugged, apparently accustomed to working through the lunch hour without ill effect. Eli seemed a little restless.

  “Eli, are you hungry?”

  “Oh, a little. But I need a smoke break.” He stood up and bent to kiss D’arcy’s ear, and groped in his jacket pocket on the back of the chair. He clutched a pack of cigarettes when he stood up. “Where can I… ?” He glanced around.

  “I wish I had a balcony, but... wait a minute. It’s such a beautiful day…” Kate thought it would be worth the intrusion, if Lena were home. She raised a hand, and picked up her phone.