Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel

by Clarke Scott, M A

  Stumbling around the ice together with Madison between them on her tiny pink skates they found their balance as a unit. Soon they were laughing and forgetting the encounter with Rachel. They exchanged jokes and greetings with the others who were enjoying themselves, too, and Kate felt a joyful sense of celebration and optimism bubbling up from deep within.

  Simon frolicked on his skates, circling Kate and Maddie, gliding backward holding Maddie’s hands and whirling her around. His face was stretched tight in a smile of pure joy, and his eyes sparkled like sunlight in the sky. Seeing him so joyful and relaxed filled her with perfect pleasure. She recalled Bertie’s words from the night before, that he had been lighter lately, and she was glad. He deserved every bit of it.

  Kate was a competent but not a brilliant skater stumbling and wobbling about from laughing so hard. “I’m more of a hindrance than a help for Maddie. I’ll take a little break; you go.” She released Maddie’s hand and coasted off to the side, stumping to the bench where they’d left their boots and falling back in relief. She smiled and waved to them as they set off again.

  She watched them circle around the oval rink, Simon guiding Maddie, steadying her.

  Maddie was tiring too, so he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his torso, and took her for a few breakneck laps around the rink to her squealing delight. “Faster, Daddy, faster!” she urged as they passed Kate again and again.

  While Kate watched Simon and Maddie skate away yet again, they stopped across the rink, and he held her as he spoke to her, their faces close together.

  “Kate. Merry Christmas!” came a shouted cheer.

  Looking up, she saw Eli and D'arcy approaching side by side, each holding steaming Starbucks cups. D'arcy was bundled in her black faux fur, her head and neck swathed in fuzzy white angora, her increased girth visible under her bulky cover. Eli still wore the battered brown leather jacket he wore back in the fall, though he’d made the concession of adding a navy blue knit stevedore’s toque and gloves.

  They had barely exchanged greetings when Simon and Maddie glided up beside her.

  “Hey, Simon!” Eli greeted him cheerily. “Merry Christmas,” D’arcey said. Grins and hugs were exchanged all around. There was a general babel of chatter for a few minutes as everyone spoke at once, exchanging news and greetings.

  “And how are you, gorgeous girl?” said Eli, chucking Madison under the chin. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small candy cane, which he held out. “I have something for you that’s bigger than this, but you have to help me get it from the car.” He addressed Kate. “We were planning to drop it off at your loft anyway. This is awesome. Do you mind?”

  “Can I, Daddy?” Madison squirmed down from his arms and took the candy cane from Eli.

  “Sure.” He shrugged, looking at Kate and D'arcy with their heads together. “The women won’t even notice you’re gone,” he added.

  “Oh, no. I need Darc’ too,” Eli’s brow creased. He tugged at her arm. “C’mon, cheri, let’s get the stuff.” D'arcy turned an indulgent smile toward him and nodded. Simon quickly changed Maddie into her boots and the trio were off down the plaza hand in hand, leaving Simon and Kate, for the moment, alone.

  ~*~

  The dome of overcast sky formed an ethereal bluish light, and though it was only mid-afternoon, the overhead lights flickered on, amber and disorienting, like the glow of gaslight in a Van Gogh painting. The idyllic moment smote Kate. Is this really happening to me? A quintessentially Christmas dreamscape: children and couples gliding around the rink, smiling parents looking on from the sidelines, dozens of snow-capped evergreen trees stepping up the terraces bordering the plaza, sparkling with tiny red and green lights. Faint tinny music played, broadcast over speakers suspended from the domed roof over the ice. It was Johann Strauss’ “Blue Danube Waltz”. She looked up and caught Simon’s eye and they laughed.

  “I’m having an out-of-body experience,” said Simon, grinning. “I feel compelled to fulfill my role here.” He pulled her gently but insistently onto the ice to skate together while Maddie was occupied. Simon took her hand and wrapped one arm around her, propelling her forward, leading her in a synchronized dance around the edge of the rink in time to the waltz. Kate imagined that they were like the tiny characters in a wind-up Christmas ornament, circling the frozen pond. All those years of hockey had made him a confident skater and he wove them among the other skaters with ease. She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to trust his lead and glide effortlessly across the ice.

  “We’re like pawns in a very big game, Kate. I feel like there is something inevitable about the two of us.” Simon stopped speaking, waiting, perhaps, for her to indicate her understanding of his metaphysical musing. She glanced up and he searched her eyes.

  “I think I know what you mean,” she answered. “It’s as though no matter how much we try to mess things up, there’s something bigger, a force, a plan. All we have to do is open ourselves to it’s… it’s fit. It’s goodness.”

  Simon took both her hands in his and skated backwards, facing her, gazing intently into her eyes. “Yes. That’s it exactly. There’s a word I like… Syzygy.” At her puzzled expression, he explained, “It means union. Alignment.” He squeezed her hands. “Kate. My Kate.” Her heart thudded at his tender words. She felt as though she were in a dream, an unreal world where fantasy and reality blurred. Simon bent toward her and kissed her slowly but ardently, his blue eyes smoldering. They gradually coasted to a halt.

  They drifted to the center of the rink, and spun in a slow-motion arc. He gripped her hands, his mouth quirked into that beguiling, self-conscious half-smile. She regarded him as though suspended in time, long moments of confusion and speculation and wonder swirling around them.

  “I adore you Kate. I love all of you. I love your strength and idealism. I love your hot temper and your passion. I even love your fears and insecurities. Without your weaknesses, your unique history and idiosyncrasies, you wouldn’t be you, and it’s you I’ve come to need. You are my heart’s reflection. You complete me Kate.”

  Tears welled in her eyes as she gazed up at him, waiting for the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty to overtake her. But it wasn’t there. There was nothing but joy and anticipation at what their future might hold. Nothing but her whole heart filled with love for him. Her chin quivered and hot tears spilled over, coursing down her cold-reddened cheeks.

  “Pinch me. Am I dreaming?”

  “Forget your dreams. It’s time to stop dreaming and start living,” Simon replied, his face tilted up.

  “What does that mean?”

  “What do you want it to mean?”

  Kate knew what happy endings her dreams harbored. But a crust of skepticism still clung to her old wounds. She whispered, “I’m afraid.”

  Simon sobered, moving closer, pulling their joined hands up between them, their faces so close she could feel his warm breath on her icy cheeks. Tipping his forehead to touch hers, peering intently into her eyes, he nodded. “Okay. Let’s be afraid together. One step at a time. How about Boxing Day? Can we be together tomorrow?”

  She didn’t hesitate. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

  “How about the next day? Do you think we can spend the twenty-seventh together? Just you and me, and Maddie.” His eyes twinkled with humor.

  She smiled back, teasing. “Yes. I think so.”

  “And all the rest of our tomorrows?” He stretched and pulled something out of his front pocket. “That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” She looked down, confused, as he held up a fine antique gold ring, its emerald-cut diamond enveloped in tiny, filigreed claws and curlicues of white gold that glinted in the lamplight. It was stunning, a promise held aloft in Simon’s long fingers.

  “Simon?” She peered at him, questioning. “Are you… is this?”

  His smile was enigmatic, but his eyes burned with feeling. “That would be rash, don’t you think? Forgive me for rushing ahead. I just need
to claim you for my own. Let’s call it a promise for now. Can we do that?”

  She felt her heart squeeze, stealing her breath and her voice. She pushed out the words, “I hope so. I…I would like that.”

  “Well, good! That’s certainly what I was hoping, since I’ve made a bit of a scene here.” He laughed softly, making a show of glancing around.

  She mimicked him and saw that skaters and bystanders stared at them. Simon’s smile was so broad it threatened to crack his face. He bent his tall frame to kiss her firmly on the lips, then slipped off her mitten and slid the ring onto her finger. “This was my grandmother’s. It’s old and precious, like our love.”

  Kate gazed down at the antique ring on her finger. “It’s beautiful, Simon.”

  “I found you once, but the time wasn’t right. This time I’ll never let you go.”

  “Is this some kind of cosmic love story? A fairy tale?” she asked in disbelief.

  His smile softened. “If you like. Yes. I suppose it is. Am I your Prince?”

  She nodded slowly, smiling. “You bet.”

  “What does that make you? Cinderella?”

  She shook her head. “No. Must be Sleeping Beauty.” She paused to let the feeling of joy overtake her. “I’m awake now.”

  Just then, Maddie galloped toward them, “Daddy, Daddy,” she squealed, slipping on the ice. Simon caught and steadied her, lifting her up into an embrace. Before he could reply, Eli and D'arcy caught up, carrying a shopping bag and large, flat rectangular package.

  “Hey you two,” teased Eli.

  D'arcy beamed. “I’ve never seen such big grins. It looks like you both got what you wanted for Christmas.”

  “Me too,” offered Maddie, wrapping her arms around Simon’s neck.

  Kate was overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Her chest swelled and her throat tightened, until she could no longer contain her joy. She quickly brought a mittened hand to her trembling mouth to suppress a sudden sob.

  “Whoa,” laughed Simon, wrapping an arm tightly about her shoulders and squeezing. “You’re not reneging on me now, are you?”

  Kate gazed up into his clear sky-blue eyes and saw the naked love and trust revealed there. “Not on your life,” she managed to sniffle and felt her face stretch into a smile of pure joy.

  “All right then,” said Eli, grinning. “I have just the thing. It’s sort of a Christmas present, but mainly, it’s a little something to express our thanks.” He handed the large flat square parcel to Simon, who set it down on his skate and turned to face Kate, eyebrows raised.

  “Not so little,” said Simon.

  “Thank you both so much,” added D'arcy. “You saved us from ourselves.” She reached for Kate with leather-gloved hands and embraced her with a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “Open it,” urged Eli.

  “What, right here? Now?” asked Kate. She had a pretty good idea what the parcel contained and was thrilled and honored to have one of his paintings, but still was curious as to Eli’s selection. She hesitated, then grabbed the edge of the brown paper and tore it away. She drew in a breath, awestruck, as the image on the large canvas emerged. “Oh, Eli! It’s the Magdalene.” Kate felt tears well up and overflow. Tears of joy. Tears of fulfillment. Tears of acceptance.

  EPILOGUE

  “So… to my fellow mediators, despite your particular skills and methods, your vast experience and excellent communication skills, I would ask you to remember this… That behind every proud and stubborn facade, underlying every position, is a human heart in need of understanding, forgiveness, and love.”

  The room broke into enthusiastic applause.

  “Thank you.”

  Kate waited at the podium for the applause to die down. She glanced again at the beautiful cut crystal trophy resting beside her hand, and cast her gaze around the elegant ballroom, acknowledging the smiles and nods of her familiar colleagues and their partners.

  “Thank you very much.”

  At last, she gripped her award, picked up her loose notes, and stepped down from the podium. Already people were rising and moving toward her. She shifted her award to her left hand in order to accept handshakes, a giddy thrill running through her as her eyes fell on the antique ring on her left hand, a sparkling treasure even more precious to her than the cut crystal trophy, and harder earned.

  “Ms. O’Day. That was wonderfully inspiring.” A younger woman pressed closer. “I loved that quote about the light. What was it again?”

  Kate turned to her. “Ellis French, isn’t it?” The young woman beamed and nodded. Kate smiled. She was a bit of a celebrity tonight, at least among her peers. “It goes ’The wound is the place where the Light enters you.’ By Rumi.”

  “Lovely metaphor. So true.”

  “I agree,” murmured a grey-bearded middle-aged man to her other side. “Human beings are rather fragile creatures who carry the battle scars of their lives with them as they venture forth.”

  “Yes, but…” the keen young mediator jumped in.

  He held up his hand, silencing her. “Don’t think I’m contradicting Ms. O’Day.” He turned to Kate, pressing her hand with his. “On the contrary, your speech was an important reminder that human beings are rather strong and resilient, and somehow do manage to carry on no matter how much damage they have sustained. In doing so, they build up walls around their hearts, and don a formidable armour to protect them from further damage.”

  “Yes, we do, sir. Unfortunately it’s these protective barriers that often keep us apart. Apart from others, and apart from knowledge of ourselves, even though this is not in our best interests.”

  “This is the what Rumi meant, Ms. French. Knowing this gives us a way in, a way to help them find forgiveness and redemption. As you have so consistently done, Ms. O’Day. Congratulations. Well-deserved.”

  “That’s a great compliment coming from you, Dr. Howard,” Kate said. “Thank you so much.”

  “Let the girl breath, Leonard.”

  Kate’s eyes touched on a smiling Rose McIlhaney as she approached and swept Kate into a soft mother-bear hug. Her familiar, comforting voice rumbled in Kate’s ear.

  “Well done, my dear. Well done.”

  “Thank you so much, Rose. For everything. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

  Rose tutted and shielded her as she guided her back to a round table to the left of the podium. Kate’s eyes came to rest on Simon waiting patiently while she enjoyed her moment in the sun.

  His grinning face was suffused with pride, his clear blue eyes shining with a love so clear and unconditional, it could not be denied. He stood and swept her into an embrace.

  “Congratulations, my love.”

  “Oh, you feel so good.” She squeezed her arms tighter around his warmth and solidity.

  He pulled back and touched his lips to hers, chastely, but she felt the magnetic pull of his desire for more. “How soon can you escape your fans?”

  Kate’s cell phone, sitting by her place on the table, buzzed. Simon picked it up, glanced at it and shot her a sly grin. “There. I don’t have to beg you to leave. Alexa is doing it for me. She says, ‘I’m so proud of you, honey! Hurry up and join me for a drink to celebrate.’”

  “I promised, didn’t I?”

  “You did. But I wish we could go straight home and celebrate by ourselves.” He leaned down and kissed her again, more deeply this time.

  “Mmmm. Me too.”

  He sighed. “Tonight is for you. And I have a sitter. I don’t want to short-change you. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.”

  “If we’re still awake.”

  “Well, there’s always tomorrow. Or the day after that.” He kissed her again, the corner of his beautiful mouth pulling up in a teasing smile. “Or the day after that.”

  “I can’t wait until I can move in and we can be together every night.”

  “It won’t come soon enough for me. Then we can get to work making babies so we’ll never have to go o
ut again.”

  “Gah! You don’t mean that.” She swatted him. “Let’s go meet Alex before you have me barefoot in the kitchen.”

  “Never! Your people need you. I’ll have to learn to share.” His laughter warmed her down to her toes, and seeped into every crack and crevice in her heart, healing her, filling her up.

  Her heart swelled with joy, gratitude and a love so deep, she could no longer doubt that this was her new reality. That when she walked away from this podium, this special night, Simon would be beside her, and they would take their next steps, and the ones after that, together, hand in hand.

  Acknowledgments

  This book has been around for a long, long time, and so the list of people to whom I owe thanks is long indeed.

  To all my teachers and mentors, to all my writing peers from whom I’ve learned so much and who welcomed me into the most supportive tribe imaginable, to the Halloween Writers who were my first critique group, the Marvelous Mountain Mavens, Michele, Donna & Joanna, who have supported me and championed my career, to my Atta Girl partner Kyla with whom I can discuss, apparently, anything, and who dares to push me that extra little bit, and to my family, who have allowed me to be the eccentric writer in their midst, neglecting them and burning dinner with regularity– Thank you.

  Thanks also to the first editor of this manuscript, Elizabeth Lyon, and the last editor of this manuscript, Eileen Cook, both brilliant and insightful ladies, as well as all the contest judges and beta readers who offered constructive criticism through the years – you helped me so much, and made the story better and better with each iteration. But of course, any shortcomings in the story remain my own responsibility in the end.