A Real Cowboy Knows How to Kiss

by Stephanie Rowe

  She could tell he meant it, and she didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know. “Come to Virginia,” she said suddenly. “Come back with me.”

  He stared at her, and her invite fell into the heavy silence.

  Oh, God. What had she just done?

  ***

  “Move to Virginia?” Steen repeated softly, his voice low with emotion that seemed to thicken the air around them. “With you?”

  “Well, I mean, why not? If you’re not going to stay here, and then, well, I don’t know. We could…” She shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. “I mean, it’s not cowboy country or anything, but there are tons of horses. Or you could build furniture. I have a house in the country, and it has a big workshop out back that I’ve never used.” Excitement began to build. “Seriously, why not?”

  He didn’t take his gaze off her, and his face was utterly expressionless. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and suddenly she felt horribly vulnerable and exposed. “Never mind,” she muttered. “It was just an idea.” God, what had she been thinking? Inviting Steen to move in with her?

  Steen leaned forward. “Erin.”

  The urgency of his tone drew her attention to him, and she looked up, her heart skipping a beat with sudden hope. “What?”

  “First of all, I’m pretty much overwhelmed you would offer that. It’s a huge statement of trust, and I am honored. But there’s no way I would ever allow you to support me.”

  She spun her fork in her fingers, restless and unsettled. “Maybe money isn’t what I need from you. Maybe it’s something else.” She met his gaze. “Like being loved.” She held her breath after she said it. Love? Had she really just said love to him?

  His eyes darkened, and electricity seemed to leap between them. “Do you love me?” he asked softly.

  She bit her lip and shrugged.

  He closed his eyes for a long moment, and she thought she saw his hands tremble. Then he took a breath and leaned forward, staring into her eyes. “Look at me, Erin. I want you to really look at me.”

  She met his gaze, searching the face that was so familiar to her. His hair was slightly longer than it had been, and his face was less gaunt. She knew his lips so intimately, and could easily envision what it felt like to touch his cheeks. He was so human, so strong, and so vulnerable. “I see a man who was dealt a bad hand in life, and somehow, he has emerged with a pure heart and a good soul. That’s what I see.”

  His face softened, and for a moment, he looked ten years younger. The lines on his face seemed to drop away, and the tension he always carried with him vanished. He bent forward and kissed her, a tender beautiful kiss that made her heart soar. He broke the kiss too soon and rested his forehead against hers. “My sweet Erin,” he said quietly. “I don’t have a job, or any source of income. As I already told you, I can’t even leave the state without the permission of my parole officer. I won’t be free of those constraints for at least five years. Don’t you see that? I’m an ex-con convicted of a serious, serious crime. I have nothing to offer you, sweetheart, nothing that is remotely worthy of you.”

  She heard the finality of his words, and her heart sank. She pulled back, searching his face. “You know I don’t care about you being in prison, right? You know that I see you for who you are?”

  “I know you do.” He trailed his fingers in her hair. “And I can’t even express how much that means to me.” He sighed. “I wish life was different, sweetheart. I wish that on the day when you traded your bike, I’d walked up to you and offered to escort you home. If I’d met you back then, before all this shit happened, everything would have been totally different.”

  She bit her lip, thinking of how close they’d come back then. She’d had no idea he’d been as aware of her as she’d been of him. All it would have taken was a simple hello, one of them being brave enough to close the gap, and their lives would have been completely different. “Is it really too late for us? Really?”

  “Erin, I—” His gaze flicked past her shoulder, and he went sheet white for a split second.

  She whirled around, searching for what he’d seen. At first, she saw only crowds of people, and then she saw a woman in a bright red sparkly top heading right for them, her gaze boring into Steen with raw hatred. A woman with gorgeous auburn hair, an amazing body, and a face that promised hell. Erin recognized her immediately, despite all the years that had passed since the last time she’d seen her.

  It was Rachel, the woman who sent Steen to prison and left him there to rot, and she was heading right for them.

  Chapter 15

  Steen felt his entire world closing down upon him as he watched Rachel approach. Every muscle in his body tensed, and his lungs felt like a vice was crushing them. He had no time to escape, nowhere to go. All he could do was sit there and watch her bear down on him, his mind racing frantically as he swept the bar, looking for exits, and finding none close enough. Sweat broke out over his brow as the memories came tumbling back of how she’d set him up. She’d tricked him, and he’d paid for it brutally. Was she going to try again?

  Erin moved closer to him, jerking his attention off Rachel. Jesus. Erin was in the line of fire now. Erin could be a target. No way in hell could he allow that to happen. He surged to his feet, moving in front of Erin to cut off Rachel as she neared the table.

  She stopped a few feet from him, her face a cool mask of thinly veiled disgust. “I heard you were out.”

  He said nothing, every sense on hyperalert, waiting for her to strike. He would never trust her again, never let her get close enough to destroy him, or anyone that mattered to him.

  “You have nothing to say to me?” she asked.

  He shook his head once. He sensed Erin stand up behind him, and he shifted his position to block her from Rachel’s view. She looked past him, however, her eyes narrowing. “You have a new woman already? Didn’t you learn anything?”

  He ground his jaw, his pulse thundering in his head. Anger surged through him, fury so thick he felt like it was pouring out of his flesh in black, angry waves. “We have nothing to say to each other,” he said neutrally. He became aware that the people near them had stopped talking and were watching them. He realized suddenly that the moment he’d walked into the bar, everyone had known who he was. He’d been so caught up in Erin that he hadn’t even noticed. Shit.

  “We do have something to say to each other.” Rachel moved closer, so close that her breasts were almost touching his chest, so close that he could smell the alcohol on her breath. He wanted to push her away, but he kept his hands hanging loosely by his side, refusing to be goaded into any contact. He didn’t step back, however. There was no way he was going to let her force him to retreat. She might have landed him in prison, but she didn’t own him, and he was never going to back down from her again.

  “You need to leave,” he said, still keeping his voice neutral. “You’ve been drinking. Go sleep it off.”

  “You bastard.” She slapped his face, and he clenched his jaw, refusing to respond. “You broke your stupid knee, leaving me to find another way out of my life. How dare you fail? I invested years in you, and you failed!”

  “Leave him alone.” Erin suddenly stepped between them, forcing Rachel to take a step back.

  Fear tore through Steen, and he clasped Erin’s arm, every nerve ending on fire. He wanted to grab and rush her out the back door, getting her away from Rachel before the viper could strike, but he was frozen in terror, afraid to make one move that could get him thrown back in prison. “Don’t get involved,” he said quietly, for Erin’s ears only. “You have no idea what she’s capable of.”

  But Erin didn’t move away. Instead, she put her hands on her hips, and glared at the woman trying to burn him. “Rachel, we all know what happened that night in your hotel room,” Erin announced, loudly enough for everyone near them to hear her clearly. “Everyone knows Steen is innocent, and that you set him up to mess with your husband. The truth will damn you, and if you ev
er come near Steen again, I will make sure the truth comes out.”

  Steen swore under his breath as Rachel’s face contorted with rage. He tightened his grip on Erin’s arm, his heart thundering in fear for her safety. He wasn’t free to step in and defend her. He was caught, trapped by Rachel’s ability to get his ass thrown back in prison. “Get back,” he whispered under his breath, pressing his fingers against her arm to pull her back.

  She ignored him.

  “You bitch,” Rachel snapped at Erin. “Don’t threaten me. My father is the District Attorney, and he can crush you both. It will take only one phone call from me to land Steen back in prison, so don’t mess with me.”

  Jesus. Steen went cold at the threat, but at the same time, he knew there was no way he could allow Rachel to bring Erin into this situation. Fury roiling through him, he pulled Erin behind him and used his body to shield her. Rage and fear were thundering through him, but he kept his voice calm and his expression stoic as he faced down the woman who’d destroyed him.

  “Rachel,” he said evenly, using self-discipline he’d never possessed until prison had taught him that it could save his life. “It’s over. The courts settled it. Let it go.” He didn’t want her to notice Erin too closely and figure out who she was. As much as he didn’t want to wind up back in prison, he’d do whatever it took to keep Rachel from turning her sights onto Erin. He was well aware that the night Rachel had approached him five years ago that he’d been dancing with another woman, and he’d always wondered if it had been jealousy that had spurred it. If she’d seen the way he’d been all over Erin, she wouldn’t stop until she’d plunged her venom deep into both of them. She’d wanted to use Steen as her ticket out of her life, and she needed to punish him for his failure.

  Sure enough, her eyes flashed to the woman he was trying to protect as Erin shoved Steen in the shoulder and came to stand next to him again. Jesus. Did she have no sense of self-preservation at all?

  “Your new girlfriend?” Rachel spat the words with poison that made adrenaline surge through him.

  “No.” He didn’t even look at Erin. “She’s not my type, and you know it. Don’t waste your time with her.”

  Rachel’s gaze slithered over Erin in her jeans and tee shirt, and then appeared satisfied. Without another word, she spun on her stiletto heel and marched away, weaving slightly as she made her way across the crowded floor.

  Steen glanced around and saw dozens of people watching him with the avid interest of paparazzi salivating for a story. He swore under his breath. Had he really thought there was any way to escape his past? He was a fool, and he’d brought Erin into it now. He didn’t even look at her. “Come on. We need to leave.” Under normal circumstances, he’d park himself right back at his table and refuse to be driven out, but the circumstances were far from normal. He didn’t want to hang around and give Rachel the chance to hatch some plot to take him down again, or worse, hurt Erin. So, he grabbed Erin’s purse and handed it to her.

  She took it silently, and didn’t argue when he put his hand on her lower back and guided her through the crowd that fell silent as they passed. He felt the weight of a thousand eyes on them, and quickly removed his hand from Erin’s back, dropping back to several feet behind her as she led the way out of the bar, refusing to mark her as his anymore.

  It had been a terrible, selfish mistake to mark Erin as his. He was done lying to himself that he could do this with her. It was over. It had to be over. Right now. Forever.

  End of story.

  ***

  Steen didn’t say a word to Erin once they were in his truck, and she realized almost instantly that he was taking her back toward Josie’s house, where she hadn’t slept in days. He wasn’t taking her back to his bunkhouse.

  “This is it, then?” she asked, watching the houses flash by as he headed back into town, where Josie lived in an apartment over her vet clinic. “You’re dropping me off, and that’s it?”

  He didn’t look at her. “What if she comes after you?”

  Erin bit her lip, gazing out the window. Rachel’s hatred had been so evident, and she’d had no mercy about sending Steen to prison for attempted murder four years ago. Erin had never met anyone like that before. Her parents had ignored her, and Louis had withheld any sort of affection and then betrayed her, but she understood now that her traumas in life that she’d struggled so hard to deal with were nothing compared to what Steen had endured.

  Prison.

  Prison.

  A mother who had abandoned him.

  An abusive father.

  A woman he loved, whose betrayal had been setting him up for attempted murder.

  God, how was it possible that his heart was still so pure, and he could still live with such honor? Because she knew that despite all he’d endured, he was the kindest, most honorable human being she’d ever known.

  But she could see what his life was. All he had now was a ranch he refused to belong to, and half-brothers he wouldn’t accept. She looked over at him as he drove, watching the torment in his handsome features. He was completely alone. It was ugly, his life. It was dirty. It was isolated. It was rough. And it was tainted. She understood now why he would never let her into his life, and why he’d never come to Virginia.

  And did she want his life? Did she want to spend her life looking over her shoulder for Rachel to come after him? But even as she thought it, her heart bled for him. He was such a good man, who had spent his life trying to dig out of the quicksand that he’d been born into. He’d survived. He’d defeated it, because he’d stayed a good person, but the external factors would always be there, haunting him, making it impossible for him to ever step out from the shadows.

  He silently turned into her driveway and pulled up to the front of the clinic, beside the side door that led to the second floor apartment.

  Erin didn’t move to get out of the car, and Steen rested his forearms on the steering wheel, staring out the windshield at the darkness. Finally, he shoved open his door, walked around to her side, and pulled hers open. He leaned against the doorframe moodily, his cowboy hat low over his forehead. “You should go,” he said softly.

  She unfastened her seatbelt and turned sideways in the seat so she was facing him, her feet resting on the running board. She didn’t move to get out, though. The truck was high enough that she was almost at eye-level with him. “I know you think you’re worthless,” she said quietly, “but you’re wrong.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think I’m worthless. I just know what hand I’ve been dealt, and how I have to play the cards.” He reached for her then, his fingers trailing over the ends of her hair in a touch so gentle that her heart skipped. “I know you’re the greatest treasure of my life,” he said. “But it’s not my right to hold onto you.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she held out her arms. “Kiss me.”

  He shook his head. “No. I can’t do that to you anymore.” His thumb brushed over her lower lip. “It’s time, Erin. It’s time for you to go back and kick some ass in your life. Find the guy you deserve.”

  She scooted to the edge of the seat and grabbed the front of his shirt, her fingers digging in when he resisted. “I’m going to go back to Virginia,” she said. “But before I do, there’s something you need to know.”

  His jaw flexed, but he still didn’t let her pull him toward her. “What’s that?”

  “I was there tonight, Steen. I saw firsthand what you are going to have to deal with for the rest of your life. I know your past. I know everything about your miserable life and brutal past, and I know that you have blood on your hands, even though it’s not your fault. I know every dark secret you have, but I also know your heart.” She put her hand on his chest. “I had a crush on you in high school, but not anymore.”

  He stiffened. “Smart woman.”

  “I don’t have a silly schoolgirl crush anymore,” she said, her fingertips digging into his chest. “Because it’s all changed for me.” She looked at him,
barely able to see his eyes in the shadows beneath his hat. “Because now, I see you from the perspective of a woman who doesn’t care about hot football players or swagger. I care about the man inside, and it’s for that reason, that I have fallen deeply, truly in love with you.”

  He didn’t move.

  He didn’t even react.

  He simply went utterly still, so still that she could hear every night sound. The hoot of a nearby owl. The sound of a car passing in the distance. But not a word from him.

  She tapped his chest lightly. “I know you don’t think you’re worthy, and you’re probably trying to figure out how to make me stop loving you, but you don’t get to choose who loves you. Your brothers love you, or at least Chase does. And I love you. You can reject me and your brothers, but that doesn’t mean you get to make any of us stop loving you—”

  He cut her off with a kiss so deep and passionate that it seemed to merge souls into one. She flung her arms around his neck as he dragged her against him. He grabbed her thighs and wrapped her legs around his hips. She locked herself around him as he carried her across the driveway, one hand on her butt and the other one supporting her back as he kissed her frantically, with a desperation that she could taste in every kiss.

  He grabbed the key from its hiding place by the door, and within a split second, he was taking the stairs two at a time, still kissing her relentlessly. He burst into the upstairs hallway, heading unerringly toward the guest bedroom she’d been sleeping in, clearly having taken note of the layout when they’d stopped by several days ago to pick up more of her clothes.

  Her heart leapt as he settled her on the bed, dragging off her shirt and bra in a seamless move as he moved over her, using his body to rock her onto her back, breaking the kiss only enough to get his shirt off as well. The moment she felt his bare chest beneath her hands, a part of her soul wanted to cry. Somehow, she knew it would be the last time she’d ever be with him, the last time she’d ever hold this wonderful man in her arms.