A Real Cowboy Knows How to Kiss

by Stephanie Rowe

But he hadn’t.

  He’d let her go, just as Louis had, and her parents. It had hurt when Louis had left. It had been devastating to grow up with parents who simply didn’t care about her. But knowing that Steen was going to let her go…it hurt so deeply she felt like her heart would never again be whole.

  She sighed, too tired to think. She just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. Maybe she would cancel her surgery for tomorrow. It wasn’t as if she was in any shape to concentrate—

  “It’s my honor to assist you,” Molly said cheerfully, dragging her back into the present. “Congratulations on Rising Star. It’s incredible, what you did.”

  Erin rubbed her temples, trying not to think about how much her head was hurting. “Rising Star?” The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she was too tired to care or think. She just wanted to go home and figure out how she had gone so wrong.

  Molly’s eyes widened. “You didn’t hear? He won the Kentucky Derby today. His career was over before you operated on him, and now he won. The procedure you did saved his career. You’re going to be famous now, even more than you already are.”

  Erin stared at Molly, processing what she’d just said. She recalled very clearly the procedure Molly had mentioned. It had been controversial and risky, but the owner of the horse had been willing to try anything to save his investment and give the animal a chance to live up to his bloodlines. The horse had survived the surgery and recovered, but then she’d lost track of him. He’d turned out to be the winner of the Kentucky Derby, one of the most significant races around? Wow. “Really? When did this happen?”

  “Earlier today. The owner told the press all about the surgery and how well it worked. He gave you full credit.” Molly grinned. “You’re going to have to open your own surgery center, Doc. There won’t be space for all your cases here.”

  “Wow.” Erin sank down onto a bench, her legs starting to tremble from exhaustion. “He told people?” She wasn’t used to that. She wasn’t used to anyone being proud of her. Well, anyone except Steen, who’d been proud of her simply for saving a bird. “Really?”

  “Watch the news. You’ll see.” Molly paused with her hand on the doorknob. “You want to come out for a drink with us? To celebrate?”

  Erin’s heart tightened at the invitation. It was the first time she’d ever been invited by her staff. A part of her wanted to go, but at the same time, she knew she didn’t belong. They were all so much younger, single, and from a different life than she was. But still, the invitation felt good. Really good. “No, thanks. Not today. Jet lag. I need to sleep. But try again next time?” Maybe next time she’d be ready to step out and try. Just not tonight. Tonight, she was still under the spell of Wyoming, Steen, and the kind of love she’d always dreamed of.

  Molly’s grin widened. “You bet. Have a great night.” She waved as she ducked out the door, leaving Erin alone.

  Wearily, Erin stood up and walked over to the sink. She rested her hands on the counter and stared at herself in the mirror, studying the bags under her eyes and the lines around the corners of her mouth. Her hair was matted from the surgical cap, hanging limply around her. God, she looked haggard and bone-weary, not like a veterinarian who had just made history. Was she really the woman who’d innovated a new procedure for racehorses who had broken bones? She didn’t feel special. She just felt ordinary and empty, like something so important had slipped out of her grasp and she had no idea how to retrieve it.

  She noticed little lines around the corners of her eyes. Laugh lines? She doubted it. More like self-pity crow’s feet. She looked older than she remembered seeing, but as she studied herself more closely, she began to notice other changes. Her skin was flushed, not as pale as usual, with maybe a hint of tan. Her hair had light brown streaks around the temples from being outside so much visiting the farms. Her hair was less perfect, even shaggy. She looked more outdoorsy, just the tiniest bit, than she used to be. And she’d opted to put on jeans after the surgery, instead of the pleated pants she usually wore.

  So, a little different…but also, in a way worse. She looked even more tired than she had before her vacation, and she felt a thousand times emptier. She felt like the blue jeans and the streaks in her hair were teasers of the brief moments of happiness she’d had with Steen and the animals, already a part of her past.

  She thought of the animals she’d met in Wyoming. She’d been bitten, stepped on, and kicked. But she’d also been licked, snuggled, and gently nibbled by the furry creatures she’d worked on. Watching Steen connect with his horse that first time they’d gone riding had been so beautiful. She might know how to heal their bones, but he could heal their hearts, if only he would try. During her short vacation, she’d cried over Steen, she’d discovered passion, and she’d hugged animals who were scared of her. It had been dirty and real, completely unplanned and unpredictable…and now she was back to a life that was as sterile as her operating room.

  That wasn’t supposed to happen. The trip to Wyoming had been to restore her and revitalize her so she could return to her life with fresh energy and excitement. Instead, she hated being here. “Damn you, Steen,” she whispered. “You showed me what my life could be like, and then you walked away.”

  Her phone rang. Excitement leapt through her. Had Steen seen the news and called her? She grabbed her purse and dug her phone out of it. One glance at the screen, and her heart congealed in her chest. It wasn’t Steen. It was Louis. Her ex-husband hadn’t called her since they’d finished their negotiations and finalized their divorce, except to tell her that he was coming to her family’s Christmas party with his new girlfriend and he hoped she’d be okay with it.

  She’d skipped the dinner.

  The phone buzzed again, and she hit decline to send it to voicemail. Never again would she let him into her life.

  She set the phone down and grabbed her bag to head out. As she was reaching for her purse, her cell rang again. This time, she wasn’t foolish enough to have hope that it was Steen. She glanced at the screen as she was about to drop it into her purse, then stopped when she saw her dad’s name on the screen.

  She stared in shock at it. Her dad never called her. Ever. Not since the divorce, when she’d failed to hang onto her worthy husband. Her heart suddenly tightened. First Louis and then her dad? Had something happened to her mother? She grabbed the phone and answered. “Dad?”

  “I think congratulations are in order.” His voice boomed over the phone. “The New York Times has already called to talk to you. You’ve revolutionized equine surgery, my dear. Louis is with me, and he’s been doing the interviews for you until you could get here. We’re so impressed. Come to the house. We’re hosting reporters here. We’ll see you in ten minutes?”

  “What?” She gripped the phone, trying to process. The Times was really interested in her? “Are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me that you modified my approach to use on the horses? It was brilliant, Erin. Brilliant. There is huge money involved in racehorses, and you just cornered the market. Well done, my dear, well done. Hang on a sec. Louis wants to talk to you.”

  “Louis?” Her fingers tightened on the phone. Had her dad really just said “well done” to her? “I don’t want to—”

  “Erin?” Her ex-husband’s slick voice made her stomach congeal. “Hey, congratulations. Great job today. I’m at your parents’ house. I’d love to take you to dinner after the press conference. I want to learn more about your procedure. It’s incredibly innovative and bold. I had no idea you were working on that. I’m so proud of you.”

  I’m so proud of you.

  The words she’d been longing to hear her entire life, and now she had it. From her dad, from Louis, from everyone she’d been trying to impress for so long. She was too shocked to say anything. All she could do was hold onto the phone. It had taken public accolades and a legion of reporters, but she’d done it. She’d finally proved herself worthy.


  “Erin?” Her dad came back on the line. “You coming over? I have more reporters coming. Can you be here in ten minutes? You did it, babe. You did it.”

  She’d done it. “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll be over in ten minutes.”

  Chapter 17

  Steen’s cowboy boots thudded on the wood as he walked up the front steps of Chase’s ranch house. His brother had been home for half a day with his fiancée, just enough time for Steen to pack up his belongings. He was ready to go. Where, he didn’t know, but he had to leave. The bunkhouse was filled with too many memories of Erin, and he couldn’t stay there any longer.

  He missed her so damn much that he couldn’t even breathe. He’d lasted ten minutes in the bed they’d shared, and had spent the rest of the nights sleeping on a horse blanket on the floor of the bunkhouse. His back hurt like hell, which brought back memories of the fear he’d lived in when he’d first broken it, which really wasn’t helping his mood.

  He had to leave, and he had to leave now.

  The front door of the house was open, and he could hear voices from the living room. He rapped his knuckles on the doorframe. “Chase? You around?”

  “In here.” His brother’s voice echoed out from the living room.

  Steen stepped into the ranch house with its glistening wood floors. He remembered the first time he’d been invited inside for grub, back when the ranch had been owned by Old Skip, who seemed to have made it his mission to give the Stockton boys a place to work. He was the one who’d taught Steen about horses, the one who’d shown Steen exactly how special his gift with them was. Back then, the ranch house had been falling down and worn out, but Chase had fixed it up. It looked good, good enough even for a woman like Erin.

  Not that it was his house to offer her. It was Chase’s.

  Steen stopped in the doorway. Chase was sitting on the edge of the couch, with Mira perched next to him. They were both leaning forward, watching the television. Mira was leaning against Chase, and his hand was on her belly, as if he were staking ownership of the baby she carried. It was a scene of domesticity, one that Steen was pretty sure he’d never seen up close before.

  For a moment, he imagined it was Erin sitting there, and he was parked next to her. What would that be like, to have a forever with someone? To have a kid on the way? He waited for the roil of bile in his stomach at the idea…but there wasn’t any. Not even fear. He just felt…lost.

  Shit. He had no room for this.

  He cleared his throat and pulled his shoulders back. “You got a sec?”

  Chase looked over his shoulder at him, and grinned. “Come on in. We’re watching some horse racing. Mira used to watch it with her family, and she wanted to see it.”

  Mira looked over at him and smiled, patting the couch beside her. “Come on in, Steen.”

  He pulled his cowboy hat a little further down over his forehead, incredibly uncomfortable with intruding upon them and their domestic scene. “Nah, I’m good. I just wanted to tell you guys I’m leaving.”

  Chase’s eyes narrowed, and he turned to give Steen his full attention. “Leaving where?”

  “The ranch. I’m hitting the road. Gotta go somewhere.”

  Mira and Chase exchanged glances, then Chase stood up and strode over toward him. “Come with me. Let’s talk.”

  Steen’s jaw clenched, and he didn’t move. He didn’t want to get into it with his brother. “Nah, I’m good. Just wanted to say thanks for the hospitality.”

  Chase halted in front of him and folded his arms across his chest. “Where are you going to go?” he demanded.

  “I don’t know.” Steen shrugged. “I’ll find something.”

  “Working at a gas station again?” There was a challenge in Chase’s voice that made Steen stiffen.

  “I’ll do what I have to do,” he said evenly. “I’m not going to live off your charity.”

  Chase swore under his breath. “Come on, Steen, you think this is charity?” He gestured toward the barn. “I need your help. I have horses in there that are so messed up that I can’t help them. I’ve tried, and they’re in just as bad a shape as when they arrived. I have two more coming in tomorrow. I spread the word that you’re back, and the owners are sending their animals. These are horses that no one can help, bro. No one but you.”

  Steen ground his jaw, tension settling in his muscles. He’d seen horses like that before, with their wild, terrified eyes, and panicked breathing. Once he made eye contact with one of them, nothing else mattered except taking away the animal’s fear and giving it the chance to reclaim its life. He shifted uncomfortably. He hadn’t expected to be faced with troubled horses ever again, and he didn’t have his defenses ready. “I never said I was staying.”

  “No, you didn’t, but you want to, and I need your help. I can’t run this whole damned place by myself. I’m mortgaged until I’m bleeding debt, and I have thousands of acres of unused land. I bought this place for all of us, including you.”

  Steen looked away, staring out the window at the vast fields. “You have seven other brothers to help you,” he said quietly. “Brothers that you grew up with. You have a bond with them, not me. I came late to the party.”

  “Shit, Steen, really? What about the fact we all sat around your bed when you were dying in the hospital? Didn’t that mean anything to you? We’re all a bunch of anti-social bastards with no loyalty to anyone, except our own, and we were there for you. Not just me. Travis, Zane, Ryder, Maddox, and Quintin. Caleb wasn’t there because his phone’s been disconnected and we can’t reach him. Logan showed up the next day, getting there as soon as he could. You got us all, Steen. When are you going to realize it?”

  Steen ran his hand through his hair. A part of him wanted to believe Chase, to buy into this brotherhood crap, but he couldn’t do it. He’d been down that road too many damn times, counting on people who blew him off. “I appreciate you guys were there. I do, but hell, man, I don’t belong.”

  Chase met his gaze. “You could belong, if you got over your shit and just let us in.”

  Steen stared at his half-brother, the only one of his brothers who he’d listed as an approved visitor when he’d been in prison. Suddenly, he didn’t see Chase as the successful rancher. He saw the teenager who walked out onto the front porch on his third night after his mom had left. Chase had been wearing a white cowboy hat, just like now, and he’d been holding a brown one in his hand. It had been battered and worn, stinking of horse crap and sweat, and Chase had held it out to him. He’d said only one word. “Welcome.” And then he’d handed Steen the hat and walked off.

  Welcome.

  It was the same hat that he was wearing now. Only one he’d ever worn. Only one he’d ever had. He looked at Chase, really looked at him for the first time. He’d never thought of him as a brother, not really. But he was, on some level. Maybe, just maybe—

  He suddenly heard Erin’s voice, and he spun around, his heart leaping. “Erin?” She wasn’t behind him. He heard her talking, and he turned again, searching until he saw her face on the television. He vaulted over the back of the couch and landed beside Mira, leaning forward. Erin was wearing a tee shirt, and her hair was up in a ponytail, just as it had been so many times when she’d been out in Wyoming. She looked the same, exactly the same, and something inside him seemed to skip a beat.

  She was smiling, a huge smile that lit up her whole face as she talked. “She looks good, doesn’t she?” he said aloud, to no one in particular.

  He was vaguely aware of Chase and Mira talking, and he waved at them to be quiet, leaning forward to hear Erin talk. He couldn’t believe she was on television. He listened, riveted, as the reporter interviewed her about some surgery she’d done on the Kentucky Derby winner. Pride tightened in his chest. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I knew you’d do something big.” Maybe she wasn’t the CEO of a major company, but this was better. This was her. This was why he didn’t belong with her. What if those reporters got a hold of his past? There was no
way on this earth that he’d taint her, but shit, seeing her face again, looking into her brown eyes, hearing her voice…it was too much to resist. He knew he would be lost for her forever.

  This was his moment. His last hurrah with her. His everything. She was so beyond him, out of his reach, but her heart and her soul would always be a part of him.

  A man moved into the camera to stand beside her. Steen narrowed his eyes when the man put his arm around Erin’s shoulder, and he didn’t miss her sudden tension. The man was in an expensive suit, and he looked rich as hell. The reporter asked him a question, and he started talking in some medical jargon about something, but Steen couldn’t take his gaze off the man’s fingers and the way they were digging possessively into Erin’s shoulder.

  She didn’t move away from him.

  And then, a banner flashed across the bottom of the screen. Doctor Louis Armstrong.

  Louis.

  Louis.

  Her ex-husband, with his arm locked possessively around her shoulder.

  Jesus.

  Steen felt like his world was falling out from under him. She was back with her ex? With her husband? Suddenly, memories of the night with Rachel in the hotel room came flooding back. He recalled Rachel’s sworn declarations that she’d never stopped loving him, his shock when a man had stumbled into the bedroom claiming to be her husband, and his numb horror when he’d watched the man fall to the ground, landing on his own knife. And he’d never forget what Rachel had said when the police arrived, pointing her finger at him and saying, “He tried to kill my husband.”

  And there Erin was, smiling into the camera, with her ex-husband’s arm around her shoulder. Jesus, he knew he hadn’t been good enough for her. He knew that, but son of a bitch, he hadn’t ever thought she’d lied to him. He stumbled to his feet. “I gotta go.” He had to leave. Get away. For a split second, he’d almost been convinced that he should stay, that he belonged, and it had all been a fucking mirage.

  “Hey!” Chase grabbed his shoulder and Steen swung around to face him, fury boiling up inside him.