Found by You

by Victoria H. Smith

  On top of that, I had my own past and my own things in my life that I feared he wouldn’t understand if he found out. The possibility of his judgment scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t have those blue eyes look at me in any other way than they did now.

  It would hurt too much.

  In the end, I chose a copout, something he couldn’t argue with. My dating status. Little did he know that would remain true. It would because I found it hard to imagine I’d find someone even remotely close to Griffin. I didn’t even want to try. At least not at this point in my life.

  I went about my Tuesday classes, bored and with my thoughts wandering. I was relieved when my break between my first and second half of the day occurred. I always had lunch with Clare on Tuesdays. I needed some socialization, someone to talk to. She met me outside of the Student Union, a large smile on her face. I was glad she was happy. That might help my mood to be the same.

  We chose a burger place for lunch. After moving through the line, we took our trays to sit. The girl Clare had been seeing since Griffin’s party, Destiny, spotted us at a table and waved us over. She sat with a couple girls and a few guys, all of whom were extremely tall in length. I assumed they played some type of sport. I could only hope it wasn’t basketball. I didn’t recognize the girls. One was a platinum blonde, really pretty. The other a brunette, also really pretty. Seeing them, I wondered if those were the type of girls Griffin usually dated. Who was I kidding? Of course that was the case. A pretty guy usually ended up with a girl just as pretty.

  Neither girl paid any attention to Clare and me when we sat down. That was fine I supposed. I didn’t really pay them any attention either. The guys at least acknowledged us with a nod. One in particular asked me my name. I assumed because I sat directly in front of him, and Clare was busy chatting with Destiny.

  “I’m Roxie,” I said, shaking his hand across the table.

  He grinned, a dark-skinned guy with dreads and some acne. He was still quite good-looking, but more average than his friends, and his height just as tall as them.

  “I’m Ryan,” he returned.

  I nodded, picking up my burger. He went back to the conversation with his friends, but since my own friend was talking with the girl she was with, I was pretty alone on this side of the table. I people-watched for a few minutes before I started to tune into the conversation Clare was having with Destiny to the side of me. They were discussing a trip of some kind out of town. Clare said she’d love to go, and Destiny grinned. She kissed Clare’s cheek, glee absolutely emanating off of her, before facing ahead. “We’re all set, Ry,” she said. “So what are we going to do about you?”

  I had no idea what was going on, but figured I’d be clued in if I listened.

  Ryan threaded his fingers on the table, facing Destiny. “In regards to?”

  “The masked dance of course,” she said, tilting her head. “Clare and I worked it out with Chip and Harrison. That means we all have dates, well except for you.”

  I looked at Clare to be let into what was going on. She laughed. She crooked her finger for me to come closer to her and then whispered in my ear.

  “Ryan, along with Chip and Harrison, are basketball players. There’s Chip and Harrison down there.” She pointed to the two other guys on the other end of the table. “They all need dates for this Valentine’s Day masked event the alumni put on for the basketball team. The thing is, Chip and Harrison are already romantically involved if you know what I mean, so they need girlfriends for appearances at the dance. Well, Destiny and I have agreed to go with them without really ‘going with them.’ If you catch my drift.”

  I leaned back, nodding. I watched the two guys chatting quietly to themselves in their own little world. It sucked they had to stay closeted. I could imagine if they went professional they would have the same problem.

  “What about Griff?”

  Ryan said the one word that could send my heart racing. I turned to him. He was chewing on the end of a fry.

  “As far as I heard, he wasn’t taking anyone,” he continued.

  “Nope. New development,” Destiny said. Looping her arm around Clare’s, she stole one of her fries before popping it into her mouth. “He’s going with Tanya, I guess.”

  She pointed to her side, and my sight moved with her. The blonde beside her, the real pretty one, was Griffin’s ex-girlfriend.

  Which meant he was seeing her again.

  My eyes veered away from her chatting with her friend. I supposed he didn’t wait for me after all. I couldn’t be mad. I could have had him. I could have, but I sent him away.

  “How about my girl Roxie?” Clare shook my shoulder. “She’s single.”

  My eyes widened that my name was being moved around. I raised my hands. “I’m not really dating right now.”

  Clare bumped my shoulder. “Come on. It will be fun. I’ll be there.”

  “It’s okay, Roxie,” Ryan said, and I moved my gaze to him. “I just got out of something. I’m not looking for anything either. If you’re game to go, I think it will be fun. Plus, you’ll get lots of free shit. Just sayin’. The alumni love to give out gift baskets.”

  I actually ended up chuckling. Something I hadn’t done for a while.

  “So what do you say?” he asked, placing his hands on the table.

  I didn’t want to, but my focus ended up moving to the girls on the other side of the table. The blonde was giggling, going on about a red dress she was buying for the masquerade dance. I made my decision right then.

  I turned to Ryan. “Sure, I’ll go to the masquerade with you. You’re right. It will be fun.”

  “Roxie?”

  My heart leaped, and I turned at the familiar voice, the one with the lucid drawl that made my whole body weak. Behind me stood the guy who was making me fall so hard, so fast, and the fallen look on his face caused my stomach to turn.

  Griffin slid his hands into his faded jean pockets. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

  Griffin

  I was so confused why the girl I had been thinking about since the day I kissed her, hell since that day at the laundry room, was sitting at a table only bodies away from my ex and Ursula. I was even more confused by what I heard her confirm with my other roommate, Ryan.

  The whole table, well, everyone but Chip and Harrison as they were always joined at the hip, turned my way after my words. I didn’t care that everyone was looking at me. I wanted to talk to Roxie and get to the bottom of what I just heard.

  “Roxie?” I prompted.

  They all looked at her now. Very slowly, she lifted from the table, moving around her chair to get to me.

  Tanya frowned, cocking her head. “Griffin—”

  “I’ll be right back.” I didn’t even face her when I spoke to her. I simply motioned forward for Roxie to come with me out of prying eyes, ones I was sure continued to stare a hole into our backs all the way out of the food court of the Student Union.

  I opened the door that led to one of the entrances and followed her after she passed me outside. She leaned against the brick wall on the back of her hands, her thick hips in dark jeans. The casual position made her chest stick out; inadvertently accentuating her full breasts through the black top she wore. Seeing her, I wanted to do nothing more than to move upon her, pin her by her hips to the wall and encase her; kiss her. God, if she didn’t tie me up in knots.

  I kept a proper distance from her against the same wall, only because I knew that was what she would want.

  “You’re going to the dance with Ryan? My roommate?” I came right out with it.

  She blinked, her mouth parting. “I didn’t know he was your roommate.”

  So if he wasn’t that would have been okay? For her to go out with someone else as long as it wasn’t me? “So does that mean you’re dating now?”

  That was her excuse before.

  She let out a breath, grinding the tip of her black boot into the ground. “I’m only going with him because he was in a s
crape. He’s the last one in your group without a date and needed one quickly. I’m friends with Clare who’s dating Destiny. They’re both going and threw my name out to him. We’re going as friends.”

  “I didn’t know that was an option. To go as friends.”

  She turned away from me, and I moved upon her, trying so hard not to get too close, to scare her, but I wanted to be near her. I had to.

  She pulled in breath, and I drew in closer. I couldn’t help it. I was selfish.

  I touched her cheek, brushing her chest with mine I was so close. “Don’t go with him,” I said, studying her eyes, my gaze wandering down to her mouth. “Go with me. Go with me as friends.”

  She moved her cheek out of my hand, then moved from underneath me entirely. She went further down the wall, crossing her arms. “You’re already going with someone. Tanya from what I heard. I didn’t know you guys were back together. That’s good.”

  The frustrations inside me loomed, but I didn’t let them reflect. Yeah, I was going with Tanya, but only because she bugged the shit out of me until I said I’d go with her. I only agreed if she didn’t go near me during the event outside of the one dance that was expected out of the retiring captain, which is the first one. That was it.

  I went over to Roxie, keeping my distance this time. “Like you and Ryan, we’re going as friends. I’m captain of the team. I’m unfortunately expected to go with someone. Had I known you were an option, I never would have said yes when she asked. I told you I’d wait for you, Roxie. And that’s what I’m doing. Waiting. I don’t want to date anyone else unless it’s you.”

  She waved me off, looking away. “You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t owe me anything, Griffin. I got to go. My next class starts soon.”

  She made to move away from me, but I didn’t make it easy. Taking her elbow, I brought her back to me, to look at me. “Is there something else? Are you actually not dating or are you just not dating me?”

  She didn’t say anything, and I pulled a breath in through my nose.

  “You can tell me, Roxie. If it’s something else I can handle it. Am I not your type? Am I too,” I paused, searching for another reason. “Too white for you or something? Is that what this is?”

  Her jaw dropped, and she moved her arm away from me. “Why would you say that? Why would you even think that? I’ve dated plenty of white guys, Griffin.”

  I pushed my hand through my hair. “Well, you’re not giving me much to go off of, Roxie. And well, you are going with Ryan. I’m just trying to make sense of things. I’m not trying to make you upset. I’m… I’m just trying to figure this out.”

  Her jaw clenched, and she put her hands on her hips. “Maybe there isn’t some specific reason. Maybe things are just what they are. Maybe the timing isn’t right. Maybe I’m just not ready for you and everything you are. Maybe,” she paused, shaking her head. “Maybe you’re not ready for me.”

  She went in so many different directions, her words so random and unspecific. There was one thing I did catch though. There was something deeper going on. Something keeping her from me.

  “Hey, man. You heading inside to eat?”

  D came out of nowhere. He stopped beside Roxie and me, and the two of us moved away from each other, looking more casual and less tense.

  D stared at her, cocking his head. “Have I seen you somewhere before?”

  I swear to fucking God. I shot him a look. “D, get the fuck out of here.”

  He was lucky I didn’t kill him two weeks ago when I found out what he told Roxie. I only didn’t because I knew what happened was partially my fault for not telling him I broke things off with Tanya and Ursula in the first place.

  D blanched, and Roxie took that as her cue to leave. She walked away without another word, her black boots quickly making tracks away from me.

  Groaning, I went inside. D followed behind and eventually caught up.

  “I’m serious. I think I’ve seen her before,” he said. “What’s with the attitude?”

  I whipped around. “You have seen her around. At the party, remember?” Though I highly doubted he did now that I thought about it. He was wasted.

  He stopped for a moment, thinking about that. “Right. But that’s not it. I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere else. Maybe a class or something.”

  “Maybe you have. I wouldn’t rule it out. That’s kind of what people do when they go to college. Take classes.” The obvious sarcasm in my voice made him snarl at me, but frankly, I didn’t give a shit.

  The pair of us went back to our table. Tanya and Ursula were still there with Destiny and the girl she was dating beside her. The girl, Clare, stood from the table, giving Destiny a hug before taking her tray. She grabbed Roxie’s as well, leaving the group with both.

  I ignored the rest of the party at the table and went after her.

  Tanya frowned again. “Griffin—”

  “I’ll be right back.” I, again, didn’t face her. I caught up with Clare, touching her shoulder. She jumped and turned, laughing when she saw me.

  “Hey. Sorry to bother you, but I have something to ask you,” I said to her.

  She couldn’t have looked more confused that I was talking to her. I didn’t blame her. I didn’t recall ever having a conversation with her before. I only saw her in passing the last two weeks with Destiny.

  She dumped both trays and then we moved away from the trashcans.

  “What were you talking to Roxie about?” she asked me.

  Roxie. That was exactly the topic I wanted to discuss. “I actually approached Roxie about going out a couple weeks ago. The night of the party at my apartment.”

  Her face seemed to light up at the words. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, but she turned me down. She told me she wasn’t dating.”

  Her eyebrows narrowed in. “Are we talking about the same Roxie? Because I’m pretty sure she really likes you.”

  I might have agreed with her at one point, but now… I wasn’t so sure. “She doesn’t seem like she’s interested. She keeps shying away from me, and I don’t know why. I was wondering if you could help me. Maybe give me some insight since you’re her friend.”

  She nodded, chewing her lip in thought. “I wonder if she’s worried about…”

  “What?” I asked, hopeful. Did she know something?

  Her eyes flashed, and suddenly, she closed her mouth. She pushed her hands into her jean pockets, pursing her lips, and my impatience was getting the best of me. Why wasn’t she coming out with it? If she knew something, I wanted to know what it was.

  Slipping her hands out of her pockets, she crossed her arms with a sigh. “I’ve learned quite of few things about Rox since I met her. And one of those things is that she’s kind of insecure.”

  “Insecure?” I couldn’t believe what she said. Were we talking about the same girl? Roxie Elbowa? The one who stood up to two dudes in the middle of the night? Tossed girls around the gym with the simple shove of her shoulder? I had a feeling she was a little shy… but insecure? I’d only seen her as confident.

  She nodded. “I know she really likes you, Griffin. So if you’re serious about her, you should wait. Wait until she comes to you. I know she will. And when she does, remember how you feel now about her. Just remember that.”

  She flashed me a single smile, then moved away from me. I went to her friend for aid, but now I’d found my head spinning even more.

  Chapter Nine

  Roxie

  It took a couple of websites and an overpriced, emergency shipping method, but I managed to find a suitable, reasonably priced gown for the masquerade. It literally arrived two days before I was supposed to leave, and I almost wished it hadn’t. If I didn’t have a dress I could have backed out. It unfortunately came. The only other requirement for the dance was a mask. I had a couple of those, though. I didn’t have to buy any. My internal battle with myself loomed as I packed those up with the rest of my stuff for the short weekend trip. The stupidest
shit was keeping me from Griffin. The stupidest crap that I no longer had justifications for. I was struggling to deal with all the things he’d done, when in the back of my mind I knew it was more about me struggling with my own demons.

  I hoped to avoid Griffin during my time at the country club, but I knew that probably would be quite hard to do. He would be in the same location as myself, and we’d most likely cross paths. There would be a ton of basketball players, their dates, and most likely alumni and powerful individuals there for the event. I’d be able to blend in if I tried.

  I was thinking about my mental game plan for avoidance when I met Clare and Destiny at one of the University’s large parking lots. Most of the team was meeting there so they could follow each other up to the country club.

  I found Clare immediately, giving her a hug, and I was relieved that I didn’t see Griffin yet. There was lots of hustle and bustle, but one thing I noticed was the cars. There wasn’t one clunker on that lot. Emblems representing brands like Mercedes and BMW flashed everywhere on various paint jobs. I really didn’t understand it. I didn’t have a car period, yet all these boys seemed to have the latest and greatest models.

  I followed Clare and Destiny, the two hand in hand the whole way. It was crazy to even think Clare had been shy to approach her at first. Their relationship seemed so second nature now. The two led me over to one of the less flashy vehicles, a Volkswagen, but it still looked brand new. One of their ‘dates’, I didn’t know whether it was Chip or Harrison, opened the trunk for us to put our bags in. After Clare and Destiny handed theirs off to him, I lifted mine.

  Clare frowned at me. “Aren’t you riding with Ryan?”

  I actually hadn’t even talked to him about the riding situation. He just sent me a text of when and where to be. I figured I would meet Clare and ride with them.

  “We didn’t make any concrete plans,” I told her.

  She took my bag. “You should probably ride with Ryan, Rox. You are his date.”