Found by You

by Victoria H. Smith

  In more ways than one.

  I tore my gaze from the basketball game I’d been analyzing on my small television screen to the reason why. Roxie was under my arm, her knees upraised and knobbed in. Her small feet were donned in fuzzy purple socks, her hair in a braid on her shoulder. The two of us lay on my bed together. We’d spent a lot of time in my bedroom lately. Not just for the obvious reason, either. She genuinely liked my space despite the fact that it was small. This surprised me. She lived alone and had a whole apartment to herself, and I shared with two other guys. In the back of my mind, I wondered if she liked it because of her previous seclusion. I had a feeling she used to spend a lot of time alone. Now, she was taking any chance she got to be in a full space with my roommates and me. This made me happy. She really was opening up and coming out of her shell.

  The parties had pretty much stopped around here, so I was more than happy to play host. Seemed D was taking it to other venues, which I had no problem with at all. Neither did Ryan as he always had the job of wrangling the house parties. The place had been nice and docile, allowing us both to be able to think when we needed to. I’d question D about the movement of the parties, but I kinda had a feeling I knew the reason. He still had some beef with me due to the Roxie thing. I hated to say it, but when it came between him and her…

  Well, I chose her. D would have to get over his issues with me. I’d be waiting for him when he did. The two of us had been boys since freshman year. A new girl in my life shouldn’t come in the way of that, especially not if we really were as good of friends as I thought. I had hoped we were, so I didn’t let how he was acting get to me too much. Roxie helped with that. Her being around uplifted my mood and kept the stress off. Being crazy sick in love had a way of making a guy happy all the time.

  I gave a short laugh looking at her. She wasn’t watching the game on T.V. at all. She simply clicked away on her smartphone, an online junkie until the end. She also had on those big glasses that I loved.

  I paused the game I had recorded and brought the top of her head to me, kissing her hair once. “I’m going to turn you, you know. Get you into basketball. I know you hate it.”

  She never did pay too much attention when we watched games at my place. If not being into basketball was her only flaw, I’d take it. Basketball loving could be learned, and I planned on us having lots of time to do that. Maybe more than had even crossed her own mind.

  Frowning, she looked up at me from above her big frames. “I don’t hate it.” She sat up, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Chuckling, she pointed at the T.V. “It’s just I’ve seen this one before. This is you, right? That game you played last week?” She cocked her head at me. “If your memory fails you, I was there. Right up front.”

  Snatching her up close to me, I moved my body on hers, kissing her into the sheets. She squealed as I had my way with her.

  “Yes, I know you were there, smarty,” I said, going for her neck next. “Pardon me in thinking you’d never grow tired of seeing me play.”

  I was joking of course. I didn’t give a crap if she didn’t feel like watching me on the court. I just liked playing with her.

  She giggled, not putting in much effort into trying to push me away from her by my shoulders. “Griffin, you’re going to crush my glasses.”

  Well, we didn’t want that. They made her look far too adorable to ruin. I decided to give her a break and leaned off her. Her glasses were askew on her face. Laughing, I righted them on her nose.

  She batted my hands away, poking her tongue out at me. “Turn on a game I haven’t seen, and I’d love to watch it. I really do like seeing you play.”

  I slung my arm around her waist, and we both leaned back against my headboard. I picked up the remote to the T.V.

  “I know you do,” I said, clicking the game back on. “I was just messing with you, babe.”

  I always loved that silly grin that lit her face when I called her that. I loved it even more that she was mine so I could call her that.

  She brought her arms around her legs, holding that silly smile as she viewed the T.V. over her knees. I shook my head at her, tipping her chin with my finger. “You really don’t have to watch. Hell, this shit is boring me. I’ve seen it three times already.”

  Her eyebrows knitted in. “Why do you have it on then?”

  I pushed my arm behind my head, resting it against the headboard. She lay on my chest when I did and that made me smile. I shrugged at her question. “Coach. He wants me to figure out what happened at our last game. We really shouldn’t have lost that one.”

  She tilted her head to look up at me. “People lose games all the time. No big deal.”

  “True, but at this stage in the season we can’t afford them. And really, we shouldn’t have lost. Based on our and the rival team’s stats, we were favored to win.”

  She gazed at the screen, studying the moving bodies. “Maybe you guys were just having an off day.”

  Those off times for our team were fortunately rare and only came when we were against certain teams. Her words actually made me think about another off game we had earlier in the season. We hadn’t lost that one, but it really was too close for comfort.

  She patted my chest, leaning up. “I’m hungry.”

  I followed her moving to the edge of my bed with my gaze. “You want me to make you something?”

  She shook her head, stepping to the floor from my bed. “How about I make you something? PB and J? That’s what I’m getting.”

  I grinned. I always enjoyed when she made me food. It didn’t matter what she made. Girls just didn’t do that for me. Hell, I was lucky if I could get them to eat in front of me. Roxie Peterson was spoiling me. “Sounds amazing. I’ll take three.”

  She knew from previous experience that I wasn’t joking. She nodded, leaving the side of the bed. When she opened the door, Ryan was passing by.

  He stopped. “Hey, Roxie.”

  “Hi, Ryan.” She stepped out into the hallway. “Want a PB and J?” she asked, pointing at him with a grin.

  The guy didn’t even hesitate. “Can you add bananas?”

  I fought myself from gagging. My roommate and his weird food combinations.

  Roxie laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  She passed him, and he came into my bedroom. He pointed behind him. “I think I love your girlfriend.”

  “I hope not too fucking much.” I picked up one of my pillows and chucked it at him.

  He angled out of the way of the flying object. After flipping me the bird, he spun my desk chair around and took a seat on it. “Not like that, Griff. Dang.” He laughed. “I’m just saying I like her around. She makes the place feel homey or something.”

  I gave a short laugh, my attention going back to the game on T.V. I liked her around, too.

  I turned up the television, and Ryan asked if this was the last game we played. I nodded. “Just looking for stuff we can work on. You know we shouldn’t have lost that one.”

  “Yeah. Our defense was a mess that night. Fouls all over the place. I haven’t seen us this sloppy all season.”

  I tipped him a nod, agreeing. I really hadn’t thought about that, but he was right. We just had in general really sloppy playing.

  “I mean, look at D.” He gestured to the screen. “He always aces his free throws. What the fuck is this?”

  I stared hard at the screen. D missed one of his free throws in this quarter. Something he was always good at. Thinking about something, I picked up the remote, fast-forwarding. I stopped in the three quarter, and just as I thought, he was fouled again. He got two shots once again, but this time, he missed both of them. Something he should have been doing effortlessly. We all had our bad days, but this just seemed weird.

  Ryan groaned when I rewound the shots, playing the misses again. “It’s like he had fucking beer goggles on.”

  I played it a third time, lowering the remote as I did. I took in only what mattered, ignoring the crow
d and the other players. I only paid attention to D, studying every angle, every moment, until the ball left his fingertips. The ball hit the hoop at an angle before falling off the rim. I played it again, studying his form. Analyzing him in detail, my eyes flashed at his positioning, which was angled and completely off center. He was starting the shots beyond awkwardly. He had no chance at making the shots shooting this way. This went beyond sloppy. In fact, it was borderline careless.

  Ryan pressed on his legs, standing. “I almost forgot why I came in. Do you have your phone shut off or something? D’s been trying to get ahold of you. He texted me to track you down.”

  D? Setting down the remote, I picked up my phone. I wasn’t surprised I hadn’t heard it. I put it on silent whenever I reserved time for just Roxie and me.

  I clicked a random button and the backlighting revealed the numerous missed calls and texts. What was even weirder was they were all from who Ryan said, the friend who literally had been doing anything he could to be anywhere but at the apartment. Rather urgently, the texts all said the same thing. He was downstairs and wanted to talk. The latest text being five minutes ago.

  What the hell?

  “You’re a goddess, and you’re never allowed to leave.”

  I looked up at the sound of Ryan’s voice. He was bowing to Roxie, accepting a plate from her with a single sandwich on it.

  “I don’t know about that.” She chuckled, walking over to me with a plate that had four sandwiches stacked on top of each other. I guessed three of those were mine. She took a seat on the bed cross-legged and smiled. “But I appreciate the compliment.”

  He tipped the sandwich to her, closing the door behind him when he left.

  Roxie set the plate of sandwiches on the bed, taking her own from the top. I hated to do this to her after she went to all the trouble of making them for me, but I had to get to the bottom of this business with D. Something was off. First the game. Now the texts and calls out of the blue…

  I got up from the bed, asking Roxie to save the sandwiches for me while I got on my shoes.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, following me with her gaze. She set the sandwich she had down and worry lined her face.

  I finished tying my laces and surprised her when I popped a kiss on her lips. “Just downstairs for a minute. You staying tonight?”

  Her lips went up into a smile. “I can.”

  “Good.” I hopped up, slipping on my hoodie. “I just got to see D for a second. He’s down there and wants to talk. I’ll be right back.”

  That pretty smile she had slowly faded from her face. “He’s not… he’s not coming up because of me, is he? That night Tanya came over she said he was mad that you didn’t tell him about me. About what I used to do. She got him drunk and convinced him to tell her about my videos.”

  I wished this information surprised me. I didn’t understand why D got so mad. How could he expect my confidence in him when he reacted the way he did about Roxie? He had been acting so weird. He’d been so stressed the fuck out all the time and partying more than studying. Something was definitely going on with him. I had a strong feeling I was about to find out what.

  I sat on the bed beside Roxie, pushing her hair back as I settled my hands on her cheeks. I gave her a kiss; one so warm that the heat lingered between our mouths. When I pulled back, I smiled her. “You don’t worry, you hear me? I think D’s got some stuff going on. Probably just wants to talk in private.”

  She took that for what it was with a nod. I could only hope I was wrong about D. At the end of the day, he was my friend. And no matter what he did, I didn’t like seeing friends struggling.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Griffin

  I let D know via text I was coming down, and he told me to meet him on the other side of our apartment building. At this point, the bad feeling that brewed inside me was piquing, but it went into overdrive when I found him. He stood against the wall in the shadow of the building with his hands deep in his pockets, breathing hard with an intense look in his eyes. He heard me and his head shot up like his nerves were fried. I’d never seen him this way. It was as if he was coming down off something.

  He hurried over to me, his hands shaking when he pulled them out of his pockets.

  “What’s going, man?” I asked, a harsh turn settling in my stomach. I had a feeling I didn’t want to know.

  He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I messed up, Griff.”

  My adrenaline sparked to life, but I didn’t let it reflect. Calm and cool, I forced myself to ask. “Okay. Well, talk to me. Tell me what happened. We’ll see what we can do about it.”

  His eyes went up to mine, shifting as he stared at me. “You still want to help me? Even with all the shit that’s been going on between us?”

  His question couldn’t have surprised me more. He obviously didn’t think too much of me if he thought I’d cut and run and throw away years of friendship just because he was acting like a douche. That wasn’t the way I played. I didn’t leave people behind if they were in trouble. The words I said were simple, but they said all I needed to in that moment.

  “I’d like to think you’d do the same,” I told him.

  His expression settled after that, his head moving into nod. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far, but these guys…”

  He shook his head after he said that, and when he didn’t finish, looking on the verge of vomiting, I knew he did something real bad. Something serious. We’d done a lot of things. D and me. Stuff that could get us in all kinds of trouble over the years. But if he was out here, feeling it was only okay to tell me what he had to say in the dark, this must have been something else. Something not easily fixed. Not easily swept away.

  Putting my hand on his shoulder, I sought to make him continue despite the fact I wasn’t so sure if I wanted know the extent of what he’d done. “Just tell me. We’ll figure it out.”

  He gazed away. D had always been one of those guys that never got scared. Never lacked confidence. It came from his time on the streets and the environment he grew up in. But him in front of me now was a new person. One employing things I thought I’d never see. Anxiety. Reservation.

  Fear.

  “At first,” he started, pushing his hand behind his neck. “At first, it was just like the things with the gifts we used to get. Except these guys wanted something in return for them. Information. They came at me one day after practice. They said they just wanted tips. Who was on their game. Who was hurt or had an injury. Like a bad knee or something. Just tips, you know? They never told me why, but I could assume it was for betting. I heard them out. I even let them tell me the offer, but you and I agreed no more. No more bribes no matter how sweet.”

  D and I never gave anything in return for what we took from people. That was a new level. A new platform battling the ethics line. Being dumb kids from low income families, we took shit, naturally, but we never once gave anything back. Especially information and whatnot about our team. But he told me he actually heard these guys out. Took the time to listen. I’d been approached many times with offers of the same, but I never stuck around long enough for specifics. There was always a moment in the conversation when it went that way and toward things a player had no business even thinking about. That was the moment to say thanks but no thanks. One that all players learned to recognize early so they weren’t tempted into doing something stupid. D didn’t do that, though. He didn’t leave. He let himself be put in the position to be handled, and I didn’t understand why.

  “I turned them down flat out, Griffin.” He swiped his hand to emphasize the point. “I knew better. I did. But then…” He pressed his lips together, gazing away. “My mom lost her job, Griff. A few months ago. She told me not to worry. Keep my head in the books, you know, but—” He clenched his fists, breathing hard. “Goddammit, how could I not worry? I’m all she’s got. She and my sisters… I’m the only one they have. So when I found out over the holidays how bad things real
ly were at home… The bills were piling up and the collectors were hounding Mama. Even on Christmas, Griff. Even on fucking Christmas they were calling her.”

  He raised his hands, threading them on top of his head. He walked away a few steps from me, aimlessly, and what was happening in front of me came to light. He did this for his family. Whatever he decided to do, he did for them. Suddenly, these past months started to make sense. The partying. The excessive drinking and sleeping through his classes. Even his over reaction about Roxie. He was stressed. He was dealing with shit at home, and that was enough. Enough to make him get into something—to say fuck it and throw his morals to the wind. I started to think about myself. What I would have done if I was in that situation, but in the end, I knew I would handle things differently. When you cared about someone, their opinion on major decisions should be taken into consideration. They should or you could make things worse. His decision to do what he’d done had to have been made on his own. His momma would never have asked him to do something that clearly didn’t sit well with him for the sake of helping her pay her bills.

  “I had to do it, Griff,” he said, lowering his hands. “My mama couldn’t catch up on things at home, and my sisters are too young to help her out with work. I’m all they got, and I had to do it. It was only a couple of times with these guys. Just a few times to get mama back on her feet. But then they wanted more information and more frequently. The payment got bigger the more I gave them. It escalated and…”

  He was acting like he couldn’t finish, like he couldn’t get out the words. I gave him a shake by the shoulder, hoping it would help.

  He looked up at me, his eyes downcast. The expression had my heart thudding at full speed. “They asked me to miss a few points. Still help win the game for us, but not by so much. Miss a free throw. Lack in defense.”

  My head swam like a wave hit me at full blast, and I lowered my hand from his shoulder. This thing he just told me… he wouldn’t. He couldn’t be so…