Chase reserved the seat next to him for me, pulling out the chair.
“Thanks for telling me I was stealing your brother’s apartment,” I quietly gritted through my smile.
“You’re sitting next to me, Merry!” she squealed.
“Oh, good!”
I watched everyone’s interactions while Tim carved and served the chicken. It was such a normal family, if there even was such a thing, like one you’d see on a television sitcom. I had never had anything remotely close to this. The only family I had was my father, as dysfunctional as it was. I pushed the thought from my mind, and tried to remain in the moment.
“Merry, your hair is so pretty. Why is it so curly like that?” Khloe was twisting one of my curls around her finger.
“That’s just the way it grows out of my head. My mom had curly hair, so I do too.”
“Where is your mom? Why didn’t she come to dinner with you?”
“Her mom lives very far away, sweetheart,” Tim chimed in.
I gave him a grateful smile. He winked, and it looked just like Chase’s wink.
“Just like you have the same hair as your mom and Chase.” I patted her head.
“It’s soft like his too. Feel it!”
I ran my fingers through her hair. “Your hair is very soft.”
“Now feel Chase’s hair.”
Chase leaned onto my lap, and everyone laughed. I reluctantly ran my fingers through his hair, probably turning three different shades of red. “I think yours is even softer,” I said to Khloe with wide eyes.
“Is not,” scoffed Chase sitting back up.
“Is too!” she retorted.
“So, I hear you’ll be working with us this week.” Tanner barely looked up from his plate when he spoke to me.
He looked so different from Chase and Khloe. Shelly always referred to him as the dark brother. Chase had his father’s eyes, but Tanner had Tim’s complexion. Dark olive skin, dark eyes, still the same killer smile. He was not as outgoing as Chase, and had always gotten into trouble at school. If Chase was the rock star, Tanner was definitely the bad boy.
“I’ll be there,” I replied.
“Do you even know anything about cars?”
“Tanner,” Chase warned.
“I do, actually. I used to help my dad restore his old classics.”
“Restoring them and fixing them are two different things.”
“Tanner, are you going somewhere with this?” This time Tim spoke up.
“Just making conversation.”
“Your people skills are astounding,” Chase countered.
“It’s fine,” I reassured. “I wouldn’t want dead weight around the job either.”
“See? She gets it.” It was obvious that Tanner spent a lot of time having to defend himself.
“Well, it was very nice of you to lend your services,” Beverly stated. She reached out and covered Tim’s hand with hers. “We could use the extra help these days.”
Chase reached over for my hand under the table. I wasn’t sure if it was because he thought I would be reminded of my dad, or because he was the one who needed strength. I interlocked my fingers with his. I knew he would need all the strength he could get in the upcoming months. Tim looked more tired than the last time I had seen him, and it had only been a few days.
“Daddy has cancer. Do you know what cancer is, Merry?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“Chase told us that your dad died. Our dad is going to die too.”
The silence was louder than any sound I had ever heard. “My dad did die.”
“Were you sad?”
“I was. I still am.”
“Aww Merry.” Khloe wrapped her arms around my midsection and squeezed tightly.
“Careful of her sling, dear.” Beverly quickly dabbed her eye with her napkin while Khloe was distracted.
“How did you get this?” Khloe was full of questions. It was to be expected, as I was a newcomer and she was a child. I did not mind, or feel embarrassed. Everyone at the table knew my story, I assumed, and I didn’t feel judged by them. They were warm and welcoming people. Well, maybe not Tanner so much.
“I got into a car accident. I was crushed up against the steering wheel, and hurt my shoulder.”
Her eyes were wide. “Oh my gosh. Were you bleeding?”
“Enough questions,” Tim said gently from across the table. “Let Merritt eat. You need to finish your vegetables, too.”
Khloe scrunched up her face. “But I don’t want broccoli.”
I held up a piece of my broccoli. “Bet I can eat mine faster than you!”
Her frowning mouth turned into a devilish grin. “Ready? One, two, three!”
We both shoveled the broccoli into our mouths and tried to chew as fast as we could. I think even Tanner cracked a smile. This continued until her plate was clean.
“If you can get her to eat vegetables, you can come for dinner any time,” Tim said.
“You are welcome here any time, Merritt. For dinner, or anything else you need. Consider yourself part of our family now.”
I smiled. “Thank you. The same goes for you. I’m always here to help.”
When everyone had finished eating, Beverly stood and began clearing off the table.
“Kokomo, go say goodnight. It’s bath time.” Tim walked out of the dining room towards the stairs.
“Can you come back again soon?” Khloe wrapped her arms around my legs and looked up at me with her big, round expectant eyes.
I knelt down and hugged her as tightly as I could with one arm. “Of course. I’ll be living right next door, you know.”
“Really?” She jumped up and down. “Can we have a sleepover?”
“You’ve done it now,” Tanner said as he stood. “Now she’ll want to come over every day.”
“That’s fine by me.” I gave her one more squeeze. “Go enjoy your bath time with your dad.”
It was heartbreaking to think that one day Tim wouldn’t be around to give her baths. I silently vowed to help her through this. I’d help them all in any way I could.
Chase was waiting with his keys. “Come on. I know you’re excited for your last night with Shelly. I’ll drive you home.”
Admittedly, I was disappointed to leave. It felt so good to be there. The kind of good I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.
“Let me just bring the rest of this stuff to your mom.” I walked into the kitchen with as much as I could carry in one arm to find Beverly loading the dishwasher. “I just wanted to thank you again. For everything.”
She took the dishes from me and set them down. She turned and wrapped her arms around me, holding me there for a moment. “We are always here, any time you need anything. Please don’t hesitate to ask.” She lifted her hands to hold my face. “You are strong and brave. Chase needs someone like you in his life.”
My eyes filled with tears as I saw her own tears spill down her cheeks. All I could do was nod.
“You keep thanking me,” she continued. “But I can’t thank you enough.”
“Me? For what?”
“You can’t imagine how terrible I felt that Chase had to come back home. As Tim’s cancer progresses, it’s going to be the hardest on him. But he’s happy when he’s with you. You bring life back to him. I’m so thankful he has you.”
The tears were streaming down both of our faces now, in the middle of the kitchen.
“What is happening in here?” Chase stood in the doorway, looking afraid to take another step further.
“Oh, don’t mind us.” Beverly laughed while she wiped her eyes. “Have a good night, Merritt.”
“Thanks again, for dinner.” I ducked my head as I walked swiftly past Chase. I gave Tanner a wave, and walked out the front door. I didn’t stop until I was inside the car.
“What was that all about?” Chase asked as he buckled himself in.
“It was… that was… a lot. For me.”
He looked guilty as he star
ed straight at the road ahead.
“Your mom loves you so much. I hope you know that.” I looked out the window and focused on the moon. “You’re so lucky.”
“She loves you now, too.”
I wiped what I hoped would be the last escapee tear.
“I’m sorry Khloe asked so many questions. I know she brought up a lot of stuff you don’t like talking about.”
“She’s just a kid. She doesn’t know.” I turned my head to look at him. “I absolutely adore her.”
He grinned from ear to ear. “She adored you right back. You know you’re going to have to have a sleepover with her. She won’t forget.”
“I totally don’t mind.”
When we arrived at Shelly’s apartment, for the last official time, Chase put the car in park and unclipped me. “Enjoy your night. I’ll swing by in the morning to get you. We can put the last coat of paint on.”
“Shelly said she’d drop me over to you. She wants to see the apartment. I’ll meet you there around nine.”
“Okay. Sounds good.” He looked down at his lap. “It was really nice having you at dinner tonight.”
“It was nice being there.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” We held each other’s gaze in the silence of his car. I broke first and swung open the door, waving goodbye before swinging it shut.
I could hear Shelly squealing before I even set foot on the top step.
“Finally! I thought you forgot about me!”
I walked straight to the couch and dropped myself down. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be rude and run out as soon as dinner was over.”
“How was it?”
“Can we not talk about it tonight? Just for tonight.”
“Your eyelashes look flat.”
“So?”
“So that means you were crying. Did Chase say something to make you cry?”
“No. Tomorrow, Shell. I promise you, tomorrow.” There was no way I could put into words how I felt tonight after dinner with the Brooks family. My head was a racetrack of thoughts and emotions zipping faster around each turn. I needed to sort things out on my own before I could explain any of it.
She sighed dramatically. “Fine.” She walked over to the kitchen table and picked up a bowl of popcorn, wedging two soda cans in each of her elbows. “Our movie night extravaganza begins! Which one do you want to watch first?”
I draped my legs over her lap after she sat, and took the popcorn bowl. “Dealer’s choice.”
“Thelma and Louise, it is.”
“I don’t even know why you bother asking.”
“Shush. It’s your last night here. You have to be nice to me.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “Fine. If I have to.”
“I love you, Toad.”
“I love you, Frog.”
Chapter Eight: Surprise
“Wow.” Shelly stared out her windshield with her mouth open. “Their house is so nice.”
“Yeah. You’re not kidding.” I lead her up the driveway and up the stairs. “Here we are.” I turned the key in my apartment door and pushed it open. The smell hit me before the realization did. I stood in the doorway, blinking, as two pairs of eyes looked back at me from inside my kitchen.
“Surprise!” Shelly shouted from behind me. She gave me a push to walk further inside.
“What’s going on?”
Brody and Chase were standing in the kitchen, both of them smiling from ear to ear. A vase of colorful flowers dressed up the table set for four.
“We wanted to welcome you into your first official day at your apartment.” Shelly pushed me towards a chair. “Brody’s making your favorite breakfast.”
“Wow, guys. Thanks. I wish my bedroom was done so I could show you the finished space.”
Chase sat next to me, and piled three blueberry pancakes onto my plate. “Oh, your room is done. Want some juice?”
My eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean the bedroom is done? We still have another coat to do.”
“No, we don’t.”
I stood and made my way into the hallway, peering through the doorway. The furniture no longer sat in the middle of the room under plastic. Everything was placed perfectly in the room, with the bed situated in between the two windows. “Chase! It’s all done!”
“I know.” He appeared in the doorway.
I walked past the bed, running my hand along the puffy white comforter, over to the cream-colored dresser. I picked up a picture frame that had been placed there. It held my favorite picture of me and Shelly, taken after we had met on the first day of kindergarten. “You decorated, too?”
“That was me!” Shelly called from the kitchen.
The frame next to it displayed another one of my favorites. My father, in the cherry red Chevelle we had built together, with my eighteen-year old self grinning wildly from the driver’s seat for the first time.
“I love your smile in that picture,” Chase said.
I noticed the third picture frame was empty.
“That one is being saved for a picture of us.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“You’ve got some old pictures there – important memories from your past. Now it’s time to make some new memories – fun memories in your new life.”
I turned around to look at him. His hair was messier than usual; he had undoubtedly woken up early to finish painting. Without him stepping into my life that day in the cafeteria, none of this would be happening. No apartment, no job. He would have remained the beautiful stranger he had always been. Instead, we stood in my new bedroom, in my new apartment. I would be starting my new job at the auto shop tomorrow. My sling would be off in a few weeks thereafter. It felt like everything was gradually, finally, going back to normal – a new normal. It felt like for the first time, I was in control of my life.
I walked towards him without saying a word, and burrowed my head into his chest. His arms wrapped around me and held me tight. A mere “thank you” would not say enough how grateful I was for him. He rested his chin on the crown of my head. I knew he understood.
“Come on, you two,” Brody called. “Breakfast is getting cold.”
I turned around just in time to catch Shelly smack his arm for interrupting us. I sat beside her at the table. “Is that my spatula? Do I own a spatula?”
“You are now the proud owner of a spatula. I’m so happy for you, Merritt.” Brody smiled his toothy grin – the same smile that made me instantly want to be his friend ten years ago. “Your place looks great.”
“It’s perfect. Thank you guys, so much.” I made eye contact with Chase across the table.
The four of us talked and laughed while we filled our stomachs with sugar and gluten. Brody always made the best pancakes. They were never burned or flat like when I attempted to make them; they were fluffy golden perfection.
After breakfast, the boys left. Shelly flopped onto the couch while I sprawled out on the recliner.
“This thing is comfortable. I need to get myself a sugar mama like Beverly.”
I shook my head. “I feel so guilty staying there for free.”
“Don’t feel guilty. You deserve something nice for a change.”
“Chase said the same thing.”
She was quiet for a moment. “He cares about you, Merritt. Truly.”
“I know.”
The truth took her by surprise. She sat up. “You know?”
“I do. I just don’t know what to do with it.”
“You accept it. That’s what you do. Let it in.”
I stared up at the ceiling. “Do you remember when your parents took us to the Grand Canyon senior year?”
“Of course.”
“Do you remember when we hiked up to the top of that one rocky area, and the tour guide wanted us to scale around it to the other side? My legs locked up and I couldn’t move. He reached his hand out for me, and kept telling me to walk towards him.”
“But you couldn’t,”
she recalled.
“That’s exactly how I feel lately. Everyone is trying to push me forward, but I’m too fear-stricken to move. I keep telling my legs to go, but they won’t. So I remain exactly where I am – where it’s safe.”
“You can’t stay still for the rest of your life. You need to keep moving forward. That’s the only way you’ll get through any of this.” She squeezed herself into the chair beside me, wrapping both of her arms around me.
“How did everything get so screwed up?” I murmured.
“Life screws things up sometimes. I wish I knew why. But I have to believe that it makes us stronger.”
“Well then I should be as strong as an ox by now.”
She grabbed my face. “You are a warrior.”
“Yeah, right. Just call me Xena.”
“Xena the Warrior Princess!” She jumped to her feet. “Ayiyiyi!”
I laughed at her pathetic attempt at a battle cry. She continued to jump up and down until I was doubled over with laughter.
“I’m going to miss you,” she admitted, plopping back down next to me.
“I’ll only be a few minutes away. It’s not like I’m leaving the state.”
“I know. But it won’t be the same.”
“You’ll be happy when Brody moves in. Which, I’m assuming, will be soon.”
“This weekend.”
“My little girl is all grown up, living with her boyfriend!”
“Don’t try to change the subject. What are we going to do about your feelings for Chase?”
I groaned and covered my face with my hands.
“You’ll have to tell him.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I’m Xena, remember? Warriors don’t have boyfriends.”
“Xena actually had a girlfriend, if I remember correctly.”
“Well, I don’t want one of those either.”
“You know what scares me, Merr? I’m afraid you’re going to push Chase so far into the friend zone that he’s going to give up. And by the time you realize it all, it’s going to be too late! What happens if he gets a girlfriend? What will you feel like then?”
The thought had not crossed my mind. “I don’t know. If he wants a girlfriend, he should find one.”
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