“You like Tanner?”
“I like the thought of Tanner on me.”
“You two would be great. He’s an asshole, you’re an asshole. It would be a match made in hell.”
Tina laughed. “Come on. Let’s go rescue Kenzie.”
Shelly threw her arms around me when I got onto the dance floor. “Let’s do another shot,” she slurred into my ear.
“You’re done doing shots.”
“Will you dance with me?”
I laughed. “I am dancing with you.”
Suddenly, I felt two hands take my hips and pull me backwards. I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see Chase. Instead, it was Shawn, wearing his impish smile as he tried to grind against me. I pushed him away, but he recovered quickly and pulled aggressively on my arm to get closer. I let out a yelp in pain. He reeked of beer and body odor.
“Let go of me!”
Tina tried pulling him off, but he only held on tighter. I saw her eyes widen as she looked past me, and then she backed away from us.
Tanner appeared out of nowhere, and gripped two handfuls of Shawn’s shirt in his fists.
“She doesn’t want to dance, bro.” He glared down at Shawn
with a scary look in his eyes. I was relieved when Shawn raised his hands to surrender.
“It’s okay, Tanner,” I shouted over the music. If he ended up with a broken hand, Chase and I would be completely backed up at work.
When Tanner loosened his grip, Shawn leaned in and whispered something into his ear. Without even winding up to swing, Tanner’s huge fist smashed into Shawn’s nose. Blood spewed out all over the floor, and my hands flew up to my mouth in horror. Shawn fell instantly. Everybody in the room crowded around the two of them.
I grabbed Shelly’s elbow and pulled her towards the pool tables.
“Where are you taking me?” she whined.
“It’s time to go.”
Brody met us before we reached Chase. He took Shelly from me and guided us through the crowd. “Grab him,” he shouted in my ear as we passed Chase.
I reached out and took Chase’s hand while Brody steadily pushed me out the door, and down the stairs.
Finally, we arrived next to Chase’s car.
“Okay, okay. You can stop pushing me. We’re safe.”
“Sorry, I had to get you guys out of there.” Brody steadied Shelly and reached into his pocket for his keys.
I rubbed my back where he was pushing me. “Thanks. I’ll think of you when I’m pissing blood tomorrow.”
Chase and Shelly both burst out laughing, swaying in the street.
“Isn’t she so funny?” Chase asked.
“She’s the funniest,” Shelly answered in the same slow tone.
“Are you able to get him home?” Brody asked, ignoring the pair of idiots that stood beside us.
I nodded. “We’re both going to the same house. I’ll take him. Just put her hair up before she starts puking.”
“You got it.” He gestured to Chase, who was now peeing in the middle of the street. “Good luck with that.”
I groaned and covered my eyes. I waited until I heard the zipper on his pants and it was safe to look. “Where are your keys?”
Chase shrugged and leaned over the trunk of his car.
I sighed and reached into his pants pockets. He laughed and twitched. “That tickles.”
“Hold still before I grab the wrong thing. You won’t be laughing then.”
He only laughed harder.
When I finally found his keys, I opened the passenger door and tried to guide him into the seat. It was like trying to herd a giant bee into a keyhole.
“Watch your head. Watch your head. Okay, there you go.” As I belted him, I felt a smile creeping across my face.
“Why are you smiling?” He slurred.
“I get my sling off and now I’m the one clipping you into your seat.”
He grinned his perfect grin, his teeth gleaming under the streetlight. His head fell back on the headrest.
I hopped into the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. It felt so good to be behind the wheel again – especially one of such an awesome vehicle. I tore the itchy wig off my head, tossed it into the back seat, and shook out my hair. I adjusted the seat and mirrors, and ran my hands over the steering wheel while I revved the engine. I rolled my window all the way down before driving away. This was the moment I had been waiting for. I could feel my cheeks pushing up as the smile spread out across my face.
“You look so hot driving my car,” Chase mumbled. He leaned over and tried to caress my face.
I swatted him away. “Watch my eyes.”
I thundered down the road, the dead leaves on the street whirling up around the car. The roar of the engine as we flew by was a tranquil sound. It was the first moment in a very long time that my mind was clear, as if all of my worries were left behind. Though the ride home was short, I enjoyed every second of it.
When we pulled up, it was after one o’clock in the morning. I killed the engine and took a deep breath. I did not know how I planned on getting Chase up the stairs. I walked around to his side, and pulled as hard as I could to get him up and out of the car.
“I’m heavy.”
“Yeah, no shit,” I grunted. He leaned on me as I tried to walk him up the driveway. “You could help me out a little.”
“Where are you taking me?” he asked.
“I’m taking you to sleep on my couch. You can’t go in your house like this and wake everybody up.”
“We’re having a sleepover?”
“Yes, if we ever make it up these stairs. Step. Okay next step.” I guided his legs up each concrete step. “You have to lift your leg!”
“I know how stairs work,” he slurred.
“Well, it’s not looking that way at the moment. Come on, one more. There you go.” I propped him against the railing while I unlocked my door and caught my breath. I directed him into the living room and gave him a push when we neared the couch. He fell like a tree and bounced onto the cushions. I could no longer contain my laughter.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“You would be laughing if you saw yourself right now.” I untied his shoelaces, and slid off each shoe. “Sit up. Let me take this vest off.”
He sat up with his eyes closed. “I always knew you wanted to undress me.”
“Shut up, or I won’t help your drunk ass.”
His eyes opened while I yanked off his vest and began unbuttoning his shirt. He played with a strand of my hair. I let him. It kept him still. His hand then moved to my cheek, and he began tracing my bottom lip with his thumb. His touch caused a warm sensation to spread throughout my body.
“Chase,” I warned.
“I want to kiss you.”
“I don’t.”
His hand dropped immediately. “You don’t?”
“Not when you’re like this, I don’t.”
“You almost kissed me before.”
“I don’t know what happened.”
“Yes, you do! You wanted to kiss me, too.”
“Well, I don’t want to kiss you now. You’re drunk. You won’t even remember any of this in the morning.”
“Yes I will. Just say it. Admit it.”
I tugged on his sleeves and pulled them off, revealing his bare torso right before my eyes. His skin looked smooth, and it took all of my restraint to not reach out and touch him. I debated whether or not to take off his pants. Sleeping in jeans would not be comfortable, but he would be in a drunken coma, so it probably would not matter. Though we had grown close over the past month, he had not divulged whether he was a boxers, briefs, or commando kind of guy – I didn’t need any surprises tonight.
“Lie down. I’ll get you a blanket.”
His shoulders dropped and he flopped backwards onto the couch. I knew he was frustrated with me, but luckily the alcohol coursing through his veins would help put him to sleep quickly.
I returned with the t
hrow blanket that was atop my comforter. I spread the blanket over his body and knelt beside him. “Comfortable?”
His eyes were closed again. “I’d be more comfortable if you were lying here with me.”
“I’ll be right in the next room. Do you think you’ll need a garbage pail?”
“No. I don’t puke.” He reached for my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine. “Why won’t you let me in?”
“I did let you in. You’re lying on my couch.” I lifted his hand and tucked it under the blanket.
He opened his eyes. Though they were glassy, they focused precisely on mine. “You know what I mean, Merr.”
Even while he was intoxicated, his stare drew me in. I ran my fingers through his hair in spite of myself. “Everything is finally good – it’s really good. I don’t want anything to screw that up.”
“Everything is so good because we are together. Don’t you see that?” His eyes slowly began to close.
I rubbed his head until he fell asleep, which did not take long. His lips slightly parted and he was breathing deeply. I lingered a moment, watching him sleep.
Chase was right; everything was better ever since he came into my life. I could feel the barrier I had built long ago start to weaken. The more time I spent with him, the harder he became to resist. Was resisting the right thing to do? I had once thought so. Now, I was unsure. I was certain of one thing, though: one kiss would change everything.
Chapter Eleven: The Box
“Help!” I screamed. The flames roared around me. I could barely breathe in the smoke-filled car. My left arm would not move; it felt like something was crushing it. I pulled harder, but it only made the stabbing pain worse. The heat was unbearable. Red liquid was streaming into my eyes, making it harder to see. I was trapped. I tried to call for help again, but no sound came out. I choked on the thick black smoke. I let the realization sink in: I was going to die.
I looked one last time out the window. That’s when I saw it. A dark figure, not too far from my mangled car, was approaching. I squinted through the blood and the smoke, but couldn’t make out who or what the figure was. I could hear my name being called. It sounded so close. I closed my eyes.
“Merritt! You have to wake up!”
I opened my eyes, and Chase was standing over me. I was in my yellow bedroom, drenched in sweat. The sun was shining through the windows onto my bed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
“Are you okay?” He sat on the edge of the bed, a troubled look on his face.
I nodded, trying to catch my breath.
“Was it the dream?”
I nodded again. “Was I screaming?”
“I heard a sound coming from your room. When I checked on you, you were crying. I figured you’d want to be woken up.”
“It was so weird. The dream was… it was different this time.”
He raised his eyebrows. “How so?”
“At the end, right before I was supposed to die, I saw something.”
“Something?”
“Or someone. I don’t know. I couldn’t see it clearly. It was a figure, coming towards me.”
“And that never happened in any of your other dreams?”
“No. This was the first time.”
“Maybe all the Halloween decorations from last night stuck in your mind, or something.”
Last night. The party. Chase was drunk. “Oh. How are you feeling?” I let my gaze lower to his bare upper body. “You look better than I thought you would.”
He grinned. “I’m fine. Just drank one too many beers.”
“I’m glad you didn’t blow chunks on my new carpet.”
“I told you, I don’t puke.”
“Oh, so you remember telling me that?”
“Of course. I remember everything.”
I felt a twinge in my stomach. “I should probably see how Shelly’s doing. And take a shower.”
He stood, but lingered. “Thanks for taking care of me last night.”
I waved my hand. “Please. You’ve taken care of me enough times. I didn’t mind.”
He stepped towards the door, but then turned back around. “Maybe we can finish that conversation sometime. The one we had last night.”
“Sure.”
After a pause, he walked out of the room to grab his things.
I waited until I heard the front door close before I hopped out of bed and into the shower.
For the remainder of the morning, I relaxed on the recliner watching movies, waiting for Shelly to wake up. My mind frequently wandered back to dancing with Chase the night before. His lips were so close, it would have been easy to have kissed them. I wondered how differently this morning would have gone if I had.
A knock at my door in the late afternoon pulled me out of my thoughts.
“Look away!” Shelly shouted, as I swung open the door. Hiding her face in the crook of her elbow, she walked past me and continued her dramatics as she threw herself onto the couch.
I closed the door, chuckling to myself.
“I can hear you laughing at me!”
“If you opened your eyes, you could see me laughing at you, too.”
“I think I threw up my spleen around three-thirty.”
“Fun night, huh?”
“I only remember it in fragments,” she groaned.
“Most people consider that a great night.”
“Please tell me you’re coming to dinner. If my parents ask me one more time how you’re doing, my head might explode.”
“I’ll be there.”
“What’s wrong? You seem distracted or something.”
“Something happened. Something weird.”
“Between you and Chase?!” She sat up, instantly feeling better.
“No, no. Let me finish. I had my nightmare again… but this time, at the end, there was a black figure walking towards the car.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Chase woke me up. He said he heard me crying.”
“Wait – Chase was here?”
“He slept on the couch. Focus, Shell.”
“Sorry. Okay, so you saw someone coming towards you. Maybe it’s the person who pulled you out of your car. Maybe your brain is remembering more. The doctor said you might gain some memories back from the night of your accident over time.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Why now, all of a sudden?”
“Why are you so opposed to finding out who it was? I would be dying to know!”
“If the person wanted to be recognized for it, he would have come forward by now. I respect the fact that the person wants privacy.”
“Maybe he’s shy. Or she. What if it’s a she?”
“You’re obsessed, dude.”
“Yeah, I am obsessed with the person who saved my best friend’s life. He deserves all the thanks in the fucking world, if you ask me.”
“I’m sorry. You have every right to be curious. It just doesn’t really matter to me.”
“You know what I really want to know? What it felt like dancing with Chase Brooks last night.”
Now it was my turn to hide my face in shame. “I don’t want to talk about it!”
“I’m going to put that on your tombstone, I swear. Here lies Merritt Adams. Beloved daughter and friend. She doesn’t want to talk about it!”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I got caught up in a moment of weakness. There was something in the air – it was the Halloween air!
“Or love is in the air,” she cooed.
“No. It most definitely did not smell like love!”
“I think it smells exactly like love. And do you want to know what else I think?”
“No, but you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“The doctor told you that the more you hold onto feelings of anger and sadness, the longer it will take your brain to recover any lost memories. If you are a closed-off person, your brain becomes closed off, too. You are trying so hard to ignore any feelings you have for Chase, and re
main closed off, that you’re shutting out the memories that want to come back, too.”
“So, you’re saying if I admit that I have feelings for Chase, that my memory of the accident will miraculously come back?”
“Not when you put it like that.” She sighed. “I just mean that you need to open up more about your feelings in life. Be more open.”
“I can do that.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really?”
“Sure. Right now, I am feeling very hungry. I’d like to leave so we can go to your parents’ house. There – how was that for expressing my feelings?”
She hurled a pillow at me and stood. “You’re such a bitch.”
I chuckled as I followed her down the stairs to her car.
“Laugh all you want. You don’t fool me. I’ve got your number. You don’t have to admit it, but I know you’re falling in love with him.”
“Falling in love with who?” a deep voice behind us asked.
I whirled around to see Tanner walking down his driveway. “Nobody,” I replied quickly. “How’s your hand?”
He shrugged as he shoved his swollen knuckles into his pocket. “It’s fine. Better than Shawn’s face.”
“Can I ask why you punched him? What did he say to you?”
“He said that if I wasn’t going to fuck you, someone else would.”
I shuddered at the thought. “He’s such a skeeze ball.”
“Yup.”
“Well, thanks.”
“For what?”
“For getting him off of me.”
He nodded and got into his car. He backed out of the driveway, and stopped when he reached me in front of Shelly’s car by the curb. “Hey, Merritt.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t break my brother’s heart.”
I was stunned that Tanner even cared about his brother’s feelings. “I wouldn’t do that.”
He rolled up his window and sped down the block.
I got into the passenger seat beside Shelly.
“You see? Even he knows you’re in love with Chase.”
I shot her a look, and turned on the radio so we could drive the entire way to New Jersey without talking.
When we were in kindergarten, Shelly’s mother was pregnant with another daughter. She ended up having a miscarriage. Shelly always said that I was like the sister she never got to have, and her parents treated me as such. Growing up, Shelly’s parents – Betty and Don – always seemed perfect: they acted like Shelly’s friends, and had a great, honest relationship with her. The revelation of Don’s secret five-year gambling problem almost tore the family apart. They lost almost everything, and had to move where it was cheaper in south New Jersey. Since Shelly was already in her freshman year of college, she got her own apartment and opted to stay in Staten Island. Don went to rehab, and they were still able to live happily ever after.
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