Collision

by Kristen Granata

  The hours passed, and soon the sun began streaming through the windows in the Brooks’ house. I crept downstairs while everyone was still asleep. As quietly as I could manage, I began making breakfast: pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I wondered how Beverly slept, if at all.

  Not before long, footsteps overhead signaled the family was awakening.

  “I smell pancakes!” Khloe shouted from the top of the stairs.

  “I smell bacon,” Chase shouted back. “I’ll race ya to the kitchen!”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Chase had emerged from his room in better spirits, if only for the sake of his family.

  Both he and Khloe simultaneously slid into the kitchen. Khloe was the first to reach me, as she crashed into my leg.

  “I won! I won!”

  Chase pretended to run after her, which sent her flailing around the island, and into the dining room.

  “I could get used to this sight.” I felt his hands on my waist and I flipped the last pancake onto the pan.

  I smiled, leaning into his touch. “What sight is that?”

  “You, making breakfast in my pajamas.”

  “They’re a tad big on me,” I laughed. “Okay, go sit. Everything is done.”

  He turned me around to face him. “Thank you for everything. I love you so much.”

  I looked into his eyes, as I had once tried so hard not to do. “I love you,” I replied, reaching up on my toes to meet his lips.

  “Alright, alright. You’re going to ruin my appetite,” Tanner grumbled as he lumbered into the kitchen.

  “That would be a shame.” I walked past him with the heaping plate of pancakes in one hand, and the bacon in another.

  “Mommy’s not up yet,” Khloe stated.

  I set the plates down on the table in front of her. “Don’t worry. She’s tired. Let her rest.”

  “But she’s always up before we are.” Her eyes were glued to the stairs just outside the dining room.

  Chase took his usual chair beside her. “She was up really late last night.”

  Her eyes were wide. “Why?”

  “She was on the phone with our neighbors next door.” He gestured to the left with his thumb.

  I watched as Tanner loaded his plate with everything I had laid out on the table. He remained standing, pouring syrup over it all.

  “That’s gross.” Khloe scrunched her nose up in disgust.

  “You’re gross,” he retorted.

  “Am not.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

  He tousled her hair before walking out of the room.

  “Hey, where are you going?” she called after him.

  “To watch TV,” he called back.

  “Why is nobody having a family breakfast today?” her tiny voice asked.

  “Why don’t we play a game?” I suggested.

  “What kind of game?”

  “When my mom moved away, I was really sad for a while. I would sit at the table for dinner, and stare at her empty seat where she always used to sit. One night, my dad sat down with me and asked me what I would want to talk to her about if she was there. I came up with all these different conversations that we could have. It was fun, and it helped me not to miss her so much. Do you think you would want to try that?”

  Her eyes lit up. “Let’s pretend both of our dads are here!”

  “Okay. What would you say first?”

  “I would say, Hi Mister – wait, what’s your dad’s name?”

  Chase stifled a laugh.

  “Robert. His friends all called him Rob.”

  “Okay. Hi Mister Rob. I’m Khloe. This is my brother, Chase.” She looked at Chase, clearly waiting for him to introduce himself.

  “Oh. Sorry. Hi, sir. I’m Chase.”

  It was my turn to stifle a laugh.

  “What is it like up in Heaven?” she asked her next bold question.

  We all waited in silence.

  “He said it’s beautiful,” Khloe reported. “Everything is white and puffy in the clouds, and there’s always music playing.”

  “Sounds awesome,” I replied. “Did he say if he’s hanging out with your dad a lot?”

  “Daddy is right there.” She pointed to his seat at the table. “He says they play poker and go bowling together.”

  I noticed Chase kept glancing at the doorway. I stood and began making a small plate of food for Beverly. I slipped out while Khloe was in deep conversation with her father. Upstairs, Beverly’s door was closed. I imagined last night was extremely difficult, as it was the first night without her husband. I took a deep breath before knocking lightly on the door.

  “Beverly? It’s Merritt. I brought some breakfast up for you, if you’re hungry.”

  I listened for a moment, and cracked the door open when I didn’t hear a response. When I looked inside, I saw tissues strewn about the floor, much like the pile Chase had in his room the day before. Beverly, awake, was sitting up in bed with red eyes.

  “Oh, Beverly.” I closed the door behind me and set her plate down on her nightstand.

  “Every time I tell myself that I’m going to stop crying, more tears keep pouring out.” She wiped her nose with a tissue. “Do your tear ducts ever run dry?”

  I sat on the bed next to her and shook my head. “No. I’m afraid they don’t.”

  She looked down at the plate of food. “You’re so good, Merritt. Thank you so much for taking care of us through all this. I don’t know what I’d do without you here.” Tears streamed down her cheeks again. “Tim and I were partners. I always thought we would have each other.”

  I let a tear escape my eye. “I’m so sorry. I know how badly it sucks – it’s like you had this whole vision of what life would be like, and now you have to start from scratch and figure out how you’re going to go on with your life in this new way.”

  She nodded feverishly. “Exactly. Everything was going just fine – then the cancer ruined everything. It wasn’t supposed to be like this! We had a plan.”

  I hugged her as she sobbed. “I know. We make all these plans, and for what? Life takes us for its own ride.” I handed her another tissue.

  “How are the kids?”

  “They’re okay. Chase is feeling better today. Tanner is his moody self. I taught Khloe a new game she can play where she talks to Tim as if he is still there. I hope you don’t mind that. It won’t last for long.”

  She wiped her eyes. “I think that’s a great idea for her. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to keep thanking me. I’m glad to be here.” I paused a moment. “Speaking of being here… I read Tim’s letter last night.”

  She nodded. “I figured it was only a matter of time before Chase gave it to you. How do you feel about it?”

  “I’m shocked, really. I can’t believe it was you guys who got me out of there.”

  “I was so scared that Tim wasn’t going to be able to pull you out in time.”

  “I’m so lucky that he did.” I meant the words as I said them aloud for the first time.

  She held my face against her palm. “You have been through so much. It’s time you start living a happy life.”

  “I think that life has already started.”

  Chapter Twenty-one: No Strings Attached

  The next couple of days were tough to get through. Each member of the Brooks family had his and her ups and downs as they experienced Tim’s two-day wake. Today would be the final day – his funeral – and it would undoubtedly be the hardest. Tensions were running high for all of us, and I was looking forward to getting today over with. We were desperate for a distraction from our lives. We needed some relief from the sadness.

  After a shower, I stared into my closet searching for something appropriate to wear. I played with the belt on my robe while I put outfit possibilities together in my head. Nothing ever seemed right when picking out an outfit for a funeral.

  Minutes later, Chase emerged from my bathroom, the towel sitting loosely around his waist. Instinctually, my eyes follow
ed him as he made his way to the bed where his suit was laid out. It seemed like years had passed since we kissed. Our relationship had begun amidst a difficult time, and we had not gotten the real beginning that couples normally get. Ever since reading Tim’s letter, I felt like there was a giant hourglass looming over us, as if our time together could run out at any moment. Even though we spent all of our time together, it seemed like there was never enough time spent truly enjoying the moments that we had.

  “Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” Chase teased, walking towards me.

  I ran my hands down his smooth chest. It was impossible to stand this close to him, in nothing but a towel, and not touch him. My hands longed to feel his skin. Every fiber of my being was crying out for his body. I stretched up to reach his mouth and pressed my lips against his. My tongue parted his lips, playfully calling out its partner. I tugged on his towel, but he intercepted.

  “What are you doing?” he murmured.

  “What we should have been doing all along.” I ran my fingers through his damp hair and pulled him in for another passionate kiss.

  “Are you sure?” His eyes were staring into mine the way one stares at a red light that is about to change, impatiently begging for it to turn green.

  “I’ve never been more sure. We need to enjoy what we have, while we have it. I don’t want to waste another second with you.”

  With that, he pulled on the ends of my belt, opening my robe and sliding it off my shoulders. I tore off the towel from around his waist, and pressed myself against him as we kissed. In the doorway of my closet, we stood before each other completely naked for the first time. My mind flashed to how terrified I was to move along the rim of the Grand Canyon years ago; now, I was base-jumping off the cliff.

  I left his lips, and made a trail of kisses down to his stomach. Though I could have marveled over his perfectly chiseled abs for hours, I kept going downward. Before anything or anyone could interrupt us, I took him into my mouth. His hand rested on the back of my neck while I massaged him with my tongue, gliding him in and out from between my lips. I glanced up to see his head leaning back against the doorframe, eyes closed and mouth open, breathing more quickly each time I swirled my tongue around him. Pulsating as he was, I could tell that he would not last long. He felt it, too, and gently pulled me up to my feet after only a few minutes.

  “I don’t want to stop,” I whimpered as he began kissing my neck.

  “I need you to.” Slowly, he knelt down in front of me, his hands roaming through places that they had not yet been. He took one of my legs and swung it over his shoulder. I reached back to hold onto the end of my dresser for support as soon as I felt his warm tongue on me. It was a feeling nobody had ever made me feel before. No one else could – no one else was him. I pushed his head further in between my legs. With both of his hands gripping my ass, his licks became stronger as he rubbed his tongue against me. I moaned and moved my hips in time with his rhythm.

  The intensity grew, and soon that wonderful feeling began to creep up. That was when Chase retracted his tongue, and kissed his way up my body.

  “Why do you keep stopping?!”

  He grinned, walking me backwards to the bed. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

  “Good because I am just getting started with you.” I pointed to the bed. “Lay down.”

  “Yes, ma.am.” His eyes followed me as I walked around the bed to my nightstand.

  I pulled an unopened box of condoms out of the drawer, and silently thanked Shelly for including it in my Christmas gift as I tore into it. I ripped one of the squares off the strip, and tossed the wrapper onto the floor as I climbed on top of Chase. I rolled the condom onto him, and with our eyes fixated on each other, I guided him inside of me.

  We let out simultaneous sighs as our bodies converged. All of our fears and pent up frustrations were released in that moment. For so long, we had shared in each other’s pain, and now we could finally share in each other’s ecstasy.

  We moved in sync, as if we had already been together like this many times before. His hands gripped my waist, pushing and pulling me back and forth onto him. Feeling his impressive presence inside me, I arched my back and held onto his thighs, wanting him deeper with every thrust. Sweat began to form on my skin.

  “You look fucking incredible up there.”

  “You should see my view.” I caressed his beautiful face and ran my fingers down his chest, onto his cubed abdominals that stretched and contracted each time we merged. Every muscle in his body rippled with every movement he made. He was a god.

  Being on top of Chase Brooks was something I could not have imagined. I felt like an untamed horse running through the wild; like I had broken free of the reins that were holding me back for so long. With him, I could let myself go. I had never felt this with anyone before – to look into his eyes with complete transparency and vulnerability.

  The surge of passion between us began to heighten, and my hips began to move faster. I reached for the headboard on my bed for leverage. I tried to prolong it, wanting this moment to last as long as it possibly could, but it felt too good not to give in.

  “Oh my God… Chase…” I closed my eyes as my whole body shook. Our rocking slowed while Chase sat up, still inside of me, and gently kissed around my neck and chest. Every part of me tingled, all the way down to my toes, while I tried to catch my breath.

  Suddenly, he flipped me onto my back and took over control on top of me. I wrapped my arms and legs around his body and drew him in as close as I could. I outlined his ear with my tongue, continuing down to his neck. Every sense was awakened, and I wanted to see, smell, touch and taste him all at the same time. His groans got louder each time he plunged into me. Reaching down to grab two handfuls of his ass, I drove him deeper inside.

  “You feel so fucking good,” he breathed.

  Our pace got faster, until our bodies were dripping with sweat. He closed his eyes and gripped my thigh tighter as he called out with his final thrust. Our movements slowed to a stop, and we laid panting wrapped up in each other’s arms.

  “That was unbelievable,” he said, out of breath.

  “Why haven’t we been doing this all along?”

  He grinned. “It was worth the wait.” Leaning in for a kiss, he stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I love you more than you will ever know, Merritt.”

  “I love you, Chase. So, so much.”

  I wanted to stay there in bed with him, though I knew time was ticking. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. “I think I need another shower.”

  “If you wait until tonight, maybe I’ll join you.” He winked and made his way back into the bathroom. I watched him walk away, thoroughly enjoying the view of his rear end strutting out of sight.

  I didn’t say it, but I knew he would not be up for much after his father’s funeral. It seemed like all of the wonderful moments spent in our own little world ended with us crashing back down to reality on Earth. I glanced at the clock, and rolled out of bed.

  Twenty minutes later, we met the rest of the Brooks family members outside. Beverly had opted to forgo the limousine, so we were waiting to pile into her crossover while she locked up the house.

  “Where’s your tie?” Chase questioned Tanner.

  “He couldn’t figure out how to tie it right,” Khloe answered quietly.

  “So you’re just never going to wear a tie because dad’s not here to do it for you?”

  Tanner ignored him, looking off into the distance.

  “You couldn’t YouTube it or something?” Chase clearly was not letting this go.

  “I did, asshole! Why don’t you get the fuck off my back?” Tanner fired back.

  “You need to look presentable today!” I had never heard Chase yell before.

  “Why? Dad’s not here to see me. What the fuck does it matter?”

  “Hey! Stop this right now!” Beverly raised her voice at her sons as she scurried down the driveway towards them. “I will ha
ve none of that today, do you hear me?”

  They both put their heads down. I took Khloe’s hand and started walking towards Beverly’s car. The ride to the service was quiet after that. Tanner sat in the front with Beverly, silently staring out the window. Even Khloe did not have any questions to ask. The service was being held at a local park. Since Tim’s remains were cremated, there would be no headstone at a cemetery. Guests were invited to gather today to remember his life, and the family would take his ashes home when it was over. It made me think about how I had not been to my dad’s burial site; I wondered if he minded. I always thought it was such a creepy place, filled with dead bodies buried into holes in the ground. People went there, pretending to communicate with their loved ones – but their loved ones didn’t hear them; it was only a comfort for the people who were left behind.

  Once we arrived, I sat and observed. I watched as Chase held my hand like it was a life preserver keeping him afloat. I watched Tanner’s expressionless face, as if he was carved out of stone. I watched as Khloe sat with her tiny hands folded in her lap, like she was in school; her dark dress was such a contrast against her golden locks. I watched as Beverly kept her composure, only dabbing her eyes at the very end. I watched people kiss their fingers and touch the urn before they left, many of whom were Tim’s friends and customers from the shop, to say their final goodbyes.

  Shelly and Brody were among the last to leave.

  “Thanks for coming, guys,” Chase said as he stood to shake Brody’s hand. His hand returned to mine as soon as he retracted it.

  “Of course,” Shelly replied, giving him a squeeze. “I’ll never forget him, or what he did for my friend.”

  I hugged her tightly. “Miss you, Toad.”