DIANE D In The Headlines - Volume 2 - Part 1

by Doris Miller

A week later, Diane D's family, relatives and a lot of other people are at a church function again. Dana’s sister Landa, one of the triplets, and her boyfriend Chad hysterically come into the church! Landa approaches everybody and shouts, “Hey everybody! I just got my chains snatched!”

  “What!” the entire crowd shouts as they rush to Landa.

  “You got your chains snatched?!” Mary shouts.

  “Yeah! Right outside the mall!”

  “Outside the mall?!” Margarita asks. “Well how did it happen?!”

  “Chad and I went to the mall! I had the necklace chains around my neck, then we went outside the mall! Chad went back in the mall real quick because he forgot his receipt so I waited for him outside the mall! While I was waiting for him, some guy ran right up to me and snatched my diamond necklace chains right off me!”

  “What!” the crowd says.

  “Yeah! This guy pulled my chains so hard it made me fall! Then the guy ran off with my chains!”

  “What!” The crowd gently hold on to Landa, checking all on her.

  “Are you alright Landa?!” Barry asks. “Did you get hurt real bad?!”

  “My neck hurt when he ripped the chains from it,” Landa says. “And I got hurt a little when I fell on the ground, but other than that, I'm alright.”

  “You need us to take you to the hospital?!”

  “No I don't need a hospital Uncle Barry. I'm okay.”

  “Well were the hell is this guy?! We're gonna go after him!”

  “I tried to look for the guy Uncle Barry,” Chad says, “but I couldn't find him!”

  A few hours later, Dana’s other sister Missy and her boyfriend James come in the church. “Hey everybody!” Missy shouts. “Look what James just bought me!” Missy is wearing three diamond necklace chains.

  Everybody goes to look at Missy's chains. “Hey!” Landa shouts. “That's my necklace!”

  “Your necklace?” Missy and James say.

  “Yeah! That's my necklace! Chad bought that for me a little while ago!”

  “How can it be your necklace Landa?” Missy says. “James just bought it and gave it to me!”

  “Yeah but it was snatched from me! This guy snatched it from me right outside the mall and ran off with it!”

  “Oh my God Landa! You got your necklace snatched?!”

  “Yeah!”

  “Oh no!” James shout. “Did you get hurt?!”

  “I got hurt a little, but I'm alright.”

  “James where did you get the necklace chains from?” Chad asks.

  “I just bought the necklace chains from some guy up the street who's selling jewelry,” James says.

  “Really? Well let's go up the street and find this guy.” Chad and everybody else turns and heads towards the exit.

  Around an hour later, everyone comes back in the church. They all turn to Landa as Mary asks, “So that wasn't the same guy who snatched the necklace chains Landa?”

  “No it wasn't him Aunt Mary,” Landa says. She turns to Missy and says, “So Missy can I have my jewelry back?”

  “No,” Missy says. “It's mines.”

  “No it's my jewelry.”

  “No it isn't!”

  “Okay cool it girls!” Barry shouts as he and everyone else get in between Landa and Missy.

  An hour later inside the church, Diane D is standing in front of a desk speaking into her cell phone as she frustratingly takes some items off the desk and throws them to the side shouting into her cell phone, “You gotto give me a chance to look for them Miss Graham! I just got here!” Diane D then sits down on the chair as she continues to speak into the cell phone. She then hears bickering across the room. She turns her head and angrily looks across the room. She sees Landa and Missy fussing with each other. She turns her head back and speaks back into her cell phone and says, “Hold on Miss Graham.” Diane D angrily turns back towards Landa and Missy and shouts, “Listen you two!”

  Landa and Missy look towards Diane D.

  Diane D then shouts, “If y'all don't stop arguing and fussing over there, I'm gonna come over there and break those damn diamond necklace chains!”

  Landa and Missy look at Diane D stunned.

  Diane D angrily looks away from Landa and Missy and speaks back into her cell phone. Mary comes into the room besides Diane D and hollers at Landa and Missy shouting, “Okay you two, cut it out now!”

  “But the necklace belongs to me Aunt Mary!” Landa shouts.

  “No it doesn't!” Missy shouts. “It belongs to me!“

  “I don't want to hear anymore of this!” Mary shouts. Diane D looks at Mary. She then gets up from the chair as she continues to speak into her cell phone. She gently holds Mary's shoulder and upper back as she passes behind Mary. Mary gently pats Diane D's hand as Diane D leaves from behind her. Diane D turns and swiftly walks away towards the doorway, continuing to speak into her cell phone. She then walks out the doorway and turns, leaving the room as Mary continues to holler at Landa and Missy shouting, “Just cut it out! And I mean it!” Mary angrily stares at Landa and Missy. She turns around and walks back out the room.

  It is two hours later. Landa and Missy are arguing and fussing in the church lounge as Missy shouts, “Look what you just did! I'm gonna make you pay for this!” Mary, Barry and everyone else come between Missy and Landa. They see Missy’s chain broken up. Dana and her Jamaican relatives come into the church. Mary, Barry and everyone else sit both Missy and Landa down on the chairs. Dana and her Jamaican relatives come to the commotion. Landa and Missy calm down as Dana and her relatives approach them. Dana looks at Missy and Landa and asks, “What's the matter?”

  “Landa and Missy both claim these necklace chains are theirs and we don't know which one of them the jewelry belongs to,” Mary says, “that's why they were fussing. They started snatching the chains from each other and broke the chain apart.”

  “What!” Dana’s Jamaican relatives say.

  Mary shows the broken chains to Dana and says, “They broke it right in two.”

  Dana takes the chains as she and her Jamaican relatives examine them. Dana turns to Mary and says, “I'll take the chain upstairs and see if I can fix it Aunt Mary.”

  “You will?”

  “Yeah. I'll bring it back.”

  “Okay Dana.”

  Dana turns away as her Jamaican relatives follow her. She goes to the staircase with the broken chain as her Jamaican relatives go up the staircase behind her.

  Twenty minutes later, Mary brings Landa, Missy and a white female police officer with brunette hair into the office. The female police officer turns to Landa and Missy and says, “Now what I need right now, is for one of you to take a seat down on the chair in front of me, then I'll have the other one sit.”

  Landa and Missy both try to sit on the chair first. They are sitting on it at the same time. They try to push and shove each other off the chair. Mary steps in and pulls the chair right from underneath them. Landa and Missy both fall on the floor landing on their behinds! Mary turns to the female officer and tells her, “Never mind. You don't need to make a report about the jewelry. I'll walk you out.” Mary and the female officer turn away and walk towards the door.

  Inside the lounge area, Dana‘s other sister Londa and her boyfriend Rick and other sister Linda and her boyfriend Terrance come in all smiling and carrying shopping bags. They suddenly hear fussing going on. They turn to look. They see Landa and Missy physically fighting as Mary, Barry, their relatives and the rest of the crowd go right between them again, trying to stop the fight. Londa, Rick, Linda and Terrance rush towards the commotion! They grab and hold Landa and Missy, trying to keep them apart, but Landa and Missy keep going at each other grabbing and holding each other!

  Dana and her Jamaican relatives suddenly come down the stairs! They rush to the commotion!

  Dana approaches Landa and Missy. She suddenly bends down at Landa’s and
Missy‘s knees. She bends back up and lifts both Landa and Missy high in the air by their waist and knees as Landa and Missy and the crowd frighteningly scream! Dana hurries and carries both Landa and Missy to the couch as everybody continues to scream moving out of the way shocked and stunned at Dana‘s superhuman strength! Dana angrily plots both Landa and Missy down on the couch as the crowd comes around them! Landa and Missy nervously look at Dana as Dana stands over them, angrily throwing her arms towards them shouting, “Stop fighting! None of y'all are gonna fight anymore!”

  A stocky black male police officer and three other male officers come out of nowhere and suddenly approach Dana. “What's the problem ma'am?” the black male officer asks.

  Dana turns her head towards the officer. She puzzled looks at him. She then turns towards the crowd and shouts, “Yo who the fuck called the cops?!”

  “No one called us Miss! We just happened to be across the street taking care of another incident when three people from inside this church ran across the street to get us, telling us that there is fighting going on inside here!”

  “Yeah it was fighting going on inside here, but we don't need you. I'll handle the situation.”

  “Ma'am, when we came in the church, we saw you carry these two ladies to the couch!”

  “Yeah these two ladies were fighting, but we don't need the police, we'll handle the situation ourselves. Y'all can leave.”

  “No we're not gonna leave. We are gonna arrest these two young ladies.”

  “What!” the crowd shouts. “Arrest them?!”

  “Arrest them for what officer?!” Barry shouts.

  “For disorderly conduct!”

  “Disorderly conduct?!” the crowd shouts.

  Dana slowly faces her body towards the officer and shouts, “I thought I told you we'll handle the situation ourselves goddammit!” Mary, Barry, their relatives and Dana’s Jamaican relatives quickly come in front of Dana to calm her as Dana continues to shout, “These two ladies are my sisters, leave them alone! I'll take care of them!”

  “We're still gonna arrest these two young ladies, whether you like it or not Miss!” the officer shouts.

  “No you're not gonna arrest them!”

  “Oh yes we are!”

  “Oh no you're not! Don't put your fuckin hands on them!”

  “Don't tell us what to do! We're still gonna arrest these two women!” The officer turns to his officers and says, “Charlie and Greg go slap the cuffs on these two ladies.” One of the other officers go to Landa while the other goes to Missy. Dana turns and kung fu kicks the first officer right in the groin then turns and kung fu kicks the other officer in the groin as everybody start to scream and panic! Mary, Barry and their relatives grab and hold Dana as she tries attacking the cops! The other cops try to grab Dana, but Dana tries attacking them as well! More cops come into the church! They approach Dana and subdue her! They slap the cuffs on Dana and arrest HER instead.

  The next day, Diane D’s family is inside the organization reading a newspaper article with a headline that reads: DIANE D'S COUSIN DANA STRIKES AGAIN! DIANE D'S COUSIN DANA IS ARRESTED AGAIN! THIS TIME SHE CAUSES THREE MALE COPS TO LAY IN HOSPITAL SUFFERING FROM INJURIES!

  Two months later, several people are reading a newspaper article with a headline that reads: DIANE D'S COUSIN DANA SENT TO MENTAL INSTITUTION

  Inside the living room, Nicolas’ family and relatives anxiously surround him as he hysterically speaks into the telephone receiver shouting, “I don't know why Dana!” Nicolas takes the phone receiver from his ear and holds his hand over the phone receiver. He turns to his family and says, “Dana just found out from her lawyer that Landa really had her jewelry snatched! Her lawyer asked her was she there when Landa's jewelry got snatched! Dana didn't know what the hell he was talking about! She asked him 'what does he mean Landa got her jewelry snatched! Her lawyer assumed she knew about the whole thing! When Dana's lawyer told her some guy snatched Landa's jewelry right outside the mall and Landa got hurt a little, Dana got very hysterical and told her lawyer ‘no she wasn't there‘! Then she got angry, called here and started screaming and cursing in my ear wanting to know why the hell didn't we tell her what really happened! She wants to know why didn't we tell her that Landa really got her jewelry snatched and why didn't we tell her Landa got hurt!” Nicolas gets back on the phone receiver and says, “Yeah Dana, Landa did get hurt from that incident, but she's alright now! ..... I don't know who the guy who snatched her jewelry is or where he is! ..... No I don't! Dana, why do you want to know who the guy is or where he is?! ..... What!” Nicolas holds his hand over the phone again. He turns to his family and shouts, “She just yelled and said if she ever finds out who the guy is that snatched her sister's jewelry or finds out where he is, she's gonna hunt him down and go after him whenever she comes out the mental institution!”

  “What!” the family shouts. “Go after him?!”

  “My God we don't need another Felix Green incident!” Gracy shouts.

  “No we sure don't!” Barry shouts. “Hand me that phone!” Barry takes the telephone receiver out of Nicolas’ hand. He yells into the phone shouting, “Now Dana, you're gonna do no such thing! You're not gonna go after anybody! This is exactly the reason why we didn't tell you about this incident in the first place! You don't need to get into anymore trouble! ..... No Landa and Missy aren't fighting anymore! Missy decided to give the jewelry to Landa since the jewelry was rightfully Landa's in the first place! You don't have to worry, Landa and Missy are not fighting anymore! ..... Yes I'm sure, they're not fighting! ..... Okay? ..... Good. Now Dana, the family and I are gonna come visit you tomorrow okay? Now get some rest. We'll see you first thing in the morning alright? We all love you and we want you to come home soon ..... Okay. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye now.” Barry hangs up the telephone. He turns to his family and says, “She really calmed down a lot as soon as I was sure to her that her sisters aren't fighting anymore.”

  “She did?” Mary says.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh that's good.” Everybody turns and leave the living room.

  Four months later, a man is at a bus stop reading a newspaper article with a headline that reads: DIANE D'S COUSIN DANA IS RELEASED FROM MENTAL INSTITUTION!

  At Gracy and Mike’s house, Diane D's family and relatives are all celebrating Dana's home coming. Nicolas approaches Mary, Barry and Gracy on the side and secretly speaks to them. He says to them, “Y'all know what? Dana came to me a little while ago and asked me, have I ever found out who that jewelry snatcher guy is, where he is or what he looks like.”

  “What!” Mary, Barry and Gracy shout.

  “She did?” Mary asks. “My God, she sure didn't waste any time to ask about him.”

  “She certainly didn't,” Barry says, “after I told her not to get into anymore trouble.”

  “Where did she go?” Gracy asks.

  “She just went in the kitchen with Diane,” Nicolas says.

  “Come on everybody,” Mary says. “It's time for us to have a talk with Dana.” Mary, Barry, Gracy and Nicolas start to head towards the kitchen.

 

  Chapter 17

  The Motorcycle Chase!