Beautifully Insightful

by K. C. Lynn

  When we got back in the car Ryder asked if it was okay if we made one more stop. He seemed anxious, but I nodded and didn’t ask questions.

  I become more curious the further we drive, but once we turn into a run-down neighborhood I have a pretty good guess where we’re going. Ryder parks across the road from one of the worst houses on the street. The tiny, beat-up home has cardboard taped over its broken windows and the unkempt lawn is littered with garbage. “This is where you lived?” I ask softly.

  “Yeah.”

  I swing my attention over to him at his quiet response. My heart swells painfully at his vulnerable expression as he stares at the house. It’s easy to tell this place holds a lot of painful memories for him.

  Not being able to stay away a moment longer, I take my seatbelt off then crawl over the console and into his lap. He never takes his gaze off the house, but welcomes me with open arms and I’m thankful he accepts my comfort. I link my own arms around his neck and rest my forehead on the side of his. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” I ask, hoping I’m not overstepping.

  He releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, Em. When I’m far away from this place it’s easy to forget I come from this, and now that I’m here I’m reminded of what I am.”

  His quiet admission breaks my heart. “This isn’t who you are, Ryder, and it never was. It’s just where you lived. When you look at this house you shouldn’t feel ashamed, you should feel proud, because it’s everything you’re not. You rose above it.” I reach down and touch the place on his ribs where I know his tattoo is. “You beat the odds,” I whisper.

  He stares at the house for another long moment before looking at me. Reaching up, he cups the side of my face. “We’re going to make our own family, Em. One where our kids will never grow up feeling scared or not loved. They will never know pain, or what it’s like to go hungry.”

  His words cause a storm of sadness to well up inside of me. It kills me to know he suffered so much. Laying my hand softly over his, I turn my face and kiss his palm. “Are you saying you want to have babies with me, Jameson,” I whisper, trying to lighten the mood.

  He doesn’t smile like I hoped for him to. “I want to do everything with you.” My breath catches at his sincere words. “I want you forever, Emily.”

  “You have me, always,” I reply thickly, finding it hard to get words past the emotion clogging my throat.

  “I swear I’m going to take really good care of you.”

  “I know, and I’m going to take care of you, too.”

  Leaning in, I press my mouth to his. He cups the other side of my face to hold me in place as we seal our words with a kiss. It’s a soul touching kiss with nothing rushed or desperate about it, just slow and deliberate. It’s a kiss that’s full of promise for what our future holds.

  Our perfect moment gets broken at the sound of a loud crash and a muffled curse. We look out the window to see a worn man who looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks. He stumbles down the steps in his housecoat, kicking empty beer cans around as he reaches for the paper. I know by Ryder’s tense body and hard expression that this man is his father.

  “Did you want to go talk to him?” I ask, even though I already know his answer.

  “No. I just want to get the fuck out of here.”

  I nod then kiss his cheek before crawling back over to my spot. Before I even have my seatbelt back on he guns the vehicle and peels away. Seeing how upset he is, I reach over and grab his hand, hoping to offer as much comfort as I can. I don’t say anything. I decide to keep quiet and leave him with his thoughts. The further away we get from Allendale the more at ease he becomes.

  That town holds a lot of painful memories for the both of us, but it also holds some of the best. We were kids who were told we would never make it because we came from two different worlds, but in the end we proved everyone wrong. Ryder and I created our own world. One where wealth and politics don’t matter. It’s a world where we both equally belong, and one I am happy to live in for the rest of my life.

  Epilogue

  Emily

  One Year Later

  I walk into the FBI headquarters with Summer next to me and head straight into the elevator. I let her hit the button that will take us to the tenth floor since my hands are filled with a giant box of doughnuts. I’m starting to regret the purchase, my pregnancy cravings have me wanting to devour the entire box, but thankfully I managed to control myself and only indulge in two. At the ping of our arrival, we walk out and I’m immediately greeted with friendly smiles then mauled when all the guys catch sight of the box in my hands.

  “Have I ever told you how much I love you, Emily?” Agent Crowley says as he swipes the box from my hands and kisses my cheek.

  “I think you have mentioned it a time or two,” I reply with a smile.

  “Don’t let Jameson hear you say that,” Agent Higgins chimes in with a grunt. “Last time I did I couldn’t piss right for a week, and all I said was pregnancy looked good on her.” A collection of agreements are made over Ryder’s possessive nature.

  I smile and shake my head. “Speaking of my husband, is he around?”

  “Yeah, he’s in his office,” Agent Wilkins answers with his mouth full of doughnut. “He was on a call but he might be done now.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I decide I’ll just pop my head in, and if it’s not a good time then I’ll wait until he gets home to tell him the news. I just pray he forgives me and isn’t too mad.

  Grabbing two napkins, I place a doughnut on each one for Nick and Ryder, knowing if I don’t they won’t get any.

  “Leave Summer with us,” Agent Crowley says.

  “Are you sure?”

  He nods then turns and shouts across the room. “Hey, Larson, get your ass over here. You have to see what this dog can do, it can push elevator buttons and shit.” With a smile I leave Summer with them, knowing she is more than happy to oblige by showing off her skills. She loves the attention.

  I stop at Nick’s office first and see him at his desk, bent over paperwork. I tap on his door with my foot since my hands are full. “Knock, knock.”

  His head shoots up in surprise. “Hey, Emily, what’s up?”

  I walk in, holding up a doughnut. “I thought I should bring you this before they’re all gone.”

  He grunts. “Thanks, those greedy bastards would have eaten them all like last time.”

  “That’s what I figured.” I snicker. Leaning over, I put the doughnut down in front of him and accidentally knock over a picture at the corner of his desk. “Oh shoot. I’m so sorry.”

  I put down both doughnuts then pick up the frame making sure I didn’t break it. I’m surprised when I see the picture is of a younger Nick, in his teen years, with the most beautiful girl hanging on his back. They’re outside, surrounded by lush, green trees with the glow of the bright sun shining down on them. The girl’s long, dark hair, olive skin and warm chocolate eyes have her looking like an Amazonian. She’s the one holding the camera to take the picture, her warm smile is just as beautiful as the rest of her, and although you can tell Nick’s trying to seem annoyed, his eyes say differently by the way he is staring back at her. He looks at her the same way Ryder looks at me.

  “It’s all right,” he says, breaking into my thoughts and taking the frame from me.

  “Who is that?” I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.

  “Just a girl I used to know.”

  “A girlfriend?”

  “Nope. You know I don’t date, at least not exclusively,” he adds with a smirk.

  I roll my eyes. Yes, I do know that, the man spends many nights with women, but never the same one twice. I’ve always wondered about his past but never pried… until now. “So what? She’s just an old friend?” It can’t be a sister because I know he doesn’t have any siblings, but for him to have the picture he must care about her.

  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I shake my head with a smile and he finally rele
nts with a frustrated sigh. “She’s the younger sister of a guy I used to be best friends with.”

  “Used to be?”

  “Yup.” He answers abruptly.

  “You don’t talk to her anymore?”

  “No.”

  “What’s her name?”

  He looks at me annoyed. “Katelyn, all right. Now stop with the nosy questions and go bug your husband.”

  I decide to try one more time, since this is the most I’ve ever gotten from him and I don’t know if he will ever open up again. “How come you’re not friends anymore?” He shoots me a death glare and I finally know I’ve overstepped. “Okay, okay.” I hold my hands up with a giggle. “I’m out of here.” I grab Ryder’s doughnut, then just before I make it out the door Nick calls out to me. I stop and turn back to him.

  “Thanks for the doughnut.”

  “You’re welcome. Thanks for the top secret information.” He shakes his head but I don’t miss his smirk.

  I head to Ryder’s office next, which is just a little ways down the hall. He and Nick got promoted shortly after they came back from Georgia, and with it came the luxury of their own offices. Much to the other agents’ dismay. I believe they still get heckled from them about it, but it’s all in good fun. They deserve the promotion, they’re very passionate about their jobs and I’m proud of them both. The only part I don’t like about the job is that Ryder’s hours can be very long, but I’ve learned it comes with being the wife of a cop, so I deal. Actually, I’ve had to learn to cope with a lot of stuff when it comes to being a cop’s wife. The biggest one is dealing with the fear of something happening to him… Don’t go there, Emily. I quickly shake myself of the horrific thought and lightly tap on his door.

  Peeking my head in, I see he’s still on the phone. He looks over at me in surprise and I mouth the word ‘sorry’ before holding up the doughnut. I’m just about to slip back out, not wanting to disturb him, but he waves me in. I make sure to close the door behind me so the outside noise doesn’t distract his phone call. As I walk the doughnut over to his desk, his intense, green eyes devour my body, his hungry gaze instantly turning my panties damp. Lord, the things this man can make me feel with just a look. I’m glad he finds my minor baby bump sexy because I have been jumping his bones every chance I get.

  As I set the doughnut down on the corner of his desk he grabs my wrist then pulls me around until I’m standing in front of him. He puts the phone between his shoulder and ear, still keeping his conversation going, and then lifts me up to sit on his desk. I slip my flip-flops off and put my feet on either side of his chair while his hands slip under my dress and grab my hips possessively. I bite my lip to keep from moaning, the simple touch has pleasure erupting through my body.

  “Yeah, that sounds good. Just meet me at the courthouse later and we can go over the case files then. Okay, yeah, see ya.” I take the phone from him and hang it up since his hands are under my dress and I really don’t want him to remove them.

  “Hi,” I greet softly.

  “Hey, baby.” He leans in and kisses my small baby bump, completely melting my heart.

  “Sorry to bother you.”

  “You’re not a bother, Em, but you sure are a sight for sore eyes. Jesus, I really like this fucking dress.” His tone is gruff as he takes in my new, soft blue sundress. “What brings you here? Not that I mind, but you better tell me Summer is out there.” He nods at the door, telling me if she isn’t I’m in big shit, which I already knew. He doesn’t like me going anywhere without him unless I’m with her. To say he’s a little over-protective is an understatement, but I understand it’s just the way he’s wired, especially because of his job. And even though I have learned a lot of the area I still don’t know it all, but Summer does. Ryder made sure of it.

  “Of course she is. Agent Crowley has her showing all the guys what she can do,” I tell him with a smile. “And I had a meeting with Kristin at Future of Hope. Oh, Ryder, the place is looking so good. I can’t wait until it’s all done.”

  He smiles. “I bet it looks great, baby, because you’re amazing, and what you’re doing is amazing.”

  I am definitely not amazing, but this group home is going to be. I inherited a lot of money after everything happened with my parents. It was money I didn’t want, and Ryder refused to spend it on our lives in any way. It wasn’t long before an idea formed and I knew what I wanted to do with it. I decided to start a group home for young girls who are less fortunate. I figured what better way to spend my father’s money than to give back to a cause that he had tarnished by hurting so many. It’s going to be a place that will give the girls a chance at a bright future. Therapy will be provided to them, along with the opportunity to finish school and get their diplomas. It will be a caring environment, that will hopefully give them the family they were never blessed to have. It’s been a huge process in the making, but I found a wonderful team to work with and I am so excited for the finished product. Even Cassie is going to come for the grand opening. I can’t wait to see her.

  “I know I’ll never be able to right the wrongs my father did but I’m hoping I can make a difference,” I say with a shrug.

  “It’s not your job to right his wrongs, Em. We’ve talked about this.”

  “I know.” Though I can’t help but feel guilty. It’s probably something I will always feel bad about. “Anyway,” I wave my hand through the air and change the subject, “after we left there I thought I’d bring you guys doughnuts. I snuck one for you and Nick since they acted like vultures the moment I stepped off the elevator.”

  He watches me with a sly smile. “Are you sure that’s the only reason why you came to see me, baby?” he asks before leaning down and kissing the inside of my thigh.

  The small touch sets my body on fire, but his question reminds me of the real reason for coming here. “Umm, well actually…” My words trail off on a gasp when his fingers skim over the center of my lace panties.

  His sly smile now turns downright cocky. “Are you sure it’s not because your pussy is wet and aching for me, Em?”

  Oh lord. Why must he distract me with dirty talk? Tell him fast, Emily, before things get carried away.

  Right when I’m about to do exactly that his fingers slip under the lace and glide through my wet flesh. “Oh, god.” I whimper and lean back on my hands to bring myself closer to his touch.

  He groans. “I knew it, fucking soaked.” His hand circles my swollen clit, only teasing, never touching.

  “Ryder.” I moan and thrust my hips up for more.

  “What, baby?”

  “You know what.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, I do. Sit up and pull your dress down. I want to see your pretty tits.”

  Another wave of heat soars through me at his erotic words. Sitting up, I pull down my strapless sundress to my waist, the built-in bra leaving me bared to his stare.

  My nipples instantly strain for his touch, but he does nothing except stare, his hungry gaze fixated on my exposed breasts.

  “Jesus, Em, you’re fucking sexy.” His rough words have the ache between my legs igniting to a painful intensity.

  “Touch me,” I plead breathlessly.

  “Oh, baby, I’m going to fucking touch you.” He growls then skims his finger over my swollen clit, causing a fiery whimper to escape me. “Come closer to me so I can taste them, my hands are a little busy right now,” he adds with a dirty grin.

  I move closer to the edge of his desk. He captures one of my nipples into his mouth at the same time that he inserts a finger deep inside of me. My head falls back on a moan and my fingers thread through his hair with a desperate grip to hold him captive to me. He moves back and forth between each tortured bud, sending a flare of hot sensations to travel through my body. My hips start bucking to the rhythm of his finger, my body craving for a different part of him. “Ryder, I want you inside of me so bad,” I whimper.

  He releases another growl before pulling back. “And that’s what you’re
going to get.” He swiftly removes his hand from inside of my panties then is out of his chair and moving to the door. He clicks the lock in place then turns back to me. “Stand up and lose the dress.” His command has a shiver of anticipation traveling down my spine.

  Standing, I push the dress down my hips, letting it pool at my feet, leaving me in nothing but my matching blue lace panties. His green eyes turn to liquid fire as he stares at my naked body. Reaching up behind him he swiftly removes his shirt, and my eyes do their own traveling, taking in every inch of his hard, lethal perfection. He stalks toward me slowly, reminding me of a predator.

  As soon as he reaches me, his hand wraps around to the back of my neck and his mouth descends hard. Our moans collide as our tastes intermingle and I completely lose myself in him, as always. It never matters if our kisses are slow and deliberate or fast and desperate, they always consume me and reach the very depths of my soul. He pulls back a long moment later for us to take in air.

  Opening my eyes, I see him watching me, his expression softening just before he drops to his knees. His arms wrap around my waist before he leans in and presses a kiss to my bare tummy. “My baby,” he whispers softly, warming my heart. I thread my fingers in his hair and hold him close, soaking in the intimacy of this precious moment. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get even more beautiful, Em, but I was wrong. Seeing your body carrying my baby is fucking perfection, and it makes my dick so fucking hard.”

  I love carrying our baby. To know someone will be gracing this earth that was created by the both of us… well, there is no feeling like it.

  Ryder breaks the moment by standing swiftly. He turns me around, bringing my back flush against his chest, then cups the heavy weight of my breasts, his fingers plucking my oversensitive nipples. A wave of heat explodes through me and I drop my head back on his shoulder with a whimper.

  “I have a meeting in an hour, baby, so this is going to be a hard, fast fuck, but tonight, when I get home, I promise to worship every inch of you like you deserve.”