by Cheri Allan
“Okay, so war had nothing to do with it,” Lydia allowed. “I just think it makes it sound so much more romantic, don’t you?”
“Makes what sound romantic?” Kate asked exasperatedly.
“Not waiting,” Ruth said.
“I imagine it was like it was during the war,” Lydia said. “The urgency and all. It felt like it to me, at any rate.”
“Would you cut it out about the war?” Claire demanded. “We need to get to the point.”
“Which is?” Kate was afraid to ask.
“That we decided we’d do it together,” Ruth said.
“Together.”
“Lose our virginity,” Nana clarified helpfully.
“Oh God,” Kate groaned. This was not something she needed to hear.
“Now before you go thinking something scandalous, I have to explain: we didn’t want to be a bunch of silly brides who didn’t know what to expect on their wedding night. I mean, what if our men were duds? We’d be stuck with them for the rest of our lives! So, we agreed that as moral support for each other we’d go all the way on the same night.”
“D-I-Day,” Lydia cut in meaningfully.
“D-I-Day?” Kate echoed doubtfully.
“Do-It-Day,” the ladies said together.
“And we did!” Lydia said happily, her eyes going soft and dreamy.
“Six weeks later rabbits were dropping like flies, if you know what I mean,” Claire cut in.
“Is that why you all got married the same summer?” Kate asked, comprehension finally dawning. She turned to Lydia. “You did, too, didn’t you? Get married then? But you never...”
“No, we never did have any children,” Lydia cut in with a bittersweet smile. “But I was so scared I might be pregnant, I convinced my Stu we should get married just in case! And I already knew he was a keeper—if you know what I mean!”
Kate looked around at the group. She had more in common with these women that she would have ever imagined. Except they had taken charge of their lives and Kate’s was a runaway train. There was another difference, too. In their day, an unplanned pregnancy meant one solution: marriage.
Things weren’t that simple any more.
“The thing is,” she began, “Jim doesn’t know yet and... I don’t know that I’m ready to tell him.”
“You’ll start showing soon,” Claire advised around a mouthful of roast beef. “Mark my words. It doesn’t matter how many sit-ups you do, you’ll start showing. You need to tell him sooner or later.”
“I know... I mean, that’s not the point.” Kate frowned. “Telling him isn’t the solution.”
“It’s a step in the right direction,” Ruth said. “He can’t make this right if he doesn’t know.”
“I know that. It’s just... what do you mean ‘make this right?’ What do you expect him to do? Marry me?” She laughed then, a short, choked sound.
Four sets of eyes blinked at Kate over their bifocal lenses.
“You do, don’t you? You expect that once he hears I’m having his baby he’ll ask me to marry him and everything will be fine, don’t you?”
“Well... yes,” Nana said.
Kate stood and set her untouched hors d’oeuvre on the coffee table. “It doesn’t work like that nowadays.” She was shaking, she realized numbly. She needed air. She didn’t even want to tell them he’d already proposed without even knowing the baby was his.
Ruth stood, too. “James is a good boy, Kate. He won’t shirk his responsibility.”
Kate’s mouth gaped, she knew, but she was too upset now to worry about it as tears of frustration burned the back of her eyes. “You don’t get it. I don’t want Jim to marry me because I’m having his baby! I want him to marry me because he loves me!” She stopped then, her hand flying to her mouth. “I didn’t mean that! What I meant was—”
“You’re having his love child!” Lydia clapped her hands gleefully, a reaction that seemed bizarrely inappropriate to Kate. “This is wonderful!”
Wonderful? What was wonderful about carrying the unwanted child of a man—
Kate caught herself short. Unwanted? Dear heaven, nothing could be farther from the truth! Since she’d learned she was carrying Jim’s child, she couldn’t think of anything more exciting.
It thrilled her. Amazed her.
This child had been conceived in passion. In joy. In wonder.
In lies.
Kate sat heavily on the edge of a chair and hung her head in her hands. He’d asked her point blank, you’re covered? And she’d said, yes.
“Kate?” Nana asked. “What’s wrong?”
Kate looked at the group of concerned faces before her. “What’s wrong? You even have to ask? I’m about to have the unplanned baby of a man who has no idea this is coming and you even have to ask?”
“He must have known there were risks, as it were,” Ruth said. “It’s not as if you young folks don’t learn these things.”
“Yes, he knew there were risks,” Kate murmured feebly.
“Didn’t you take precautions?” Claire demanded. “It’s not as if you don’t have access to contraception these days.”
“No,” Kate murmured even more feebly, “we didn’t. I... I didn’t think we needed to.”
“I’m shocked!” Ruth spoke now. “I thought Jim was more responsible than that!”
“He is. He was!” Kate was beyond embarrassed, but she couldn’t let Jim’s own grandmother think ill of him. “I... I implied I was on the pill.”
“You what?!” It was her own Nana who turned on her now.
“I thought I was already pregnant, all right?! He... I... Anyway, it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time!”
“I guess you were wrong about that,” Claire mumbled.
Nana shot her friend a quelling look.
“I know this is a mess. I know it is. But it’s my mess.” Kate stood on legs more than a little shaky now. “You all mean well, but you can’t fix this. I’ll figure it out. On my own.”
“He’ll do the right thing,” Lydia murmured encouragingly as Kate walked to the door. “I know he will. It’ll work out.”
Kate didn’t have the heart or will to contradict her. She didn’t want Jim to ‘do the right thing.’ She knew with utter certainty that he would propose again the moment he knew she was carrying his child. And that was the problem. She’d just be another responsibility he’d ‘take care of,’ because that’s what Jim did. It was the kind of man he was. But it wouldn’t be a marriage. At least, not any Kate wanted a part of.
“I’m going for a walk,” she said dully.
The ladies nodded in unison, for once, blessedly silent.
HOW COULD SHE HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? How could she have been so out of touch with her own body not to have realized she wasn’t pregnant but ovulating?
Kate’s strides lengthened in the shadows by the edge of the road. She had no one to fix this. No one to turn to but herself.
She barely paid attention as the car slowed beside her, the glow of headlights confirming what she already knew—it was time to turn around. Then she heard the window slide down, and her heart slammed in her chest. She didn’t dare look. Because if it was him...
“Kate, what are you doing out here?”
Kate blew out a slow breath and didn’t even try to hide the raw emotion in her eyes. “I was just...” but she couldn’t finish, couldn’t even begin to formulate the rest of the sentence, as Rachel threw open the driver’s door and ran to wrap Kate in her arms.
“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?”
Kate looked over Rachel’s shoulder at the empty rear seat.
“Before you ask, Liam’s with my dad. Grams wouldn’t tell me why you needed help tonight, but I knew it must be something major. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay away. We’ve been so worried. Susan and Grace are on high alert waiting for my call.”
Kate bit her trembling lip and looked at the sky, willing her flooded eyes to dry up. She’d caused these good people so much troubl
e. “I never meant to worry you.”
“I thought that’s what friends were for.”
Friends. The tightness in Kate’s heart eased a little.
“So,” Rachel said, stepping back. “I’m guessing the ladies gave you a hundred pieces of advice, drove you crazy in the process, and you’ve come out here to work it out on your own.”
Kate gave a wobbly smile. “Something like that.”
“How about we go gather the girls and you tell us what’s going on?”
“It’s complicated,” Kate warned.
“Trust me. We’re good with complicated,” Rachel assured her as she held open the passenger door.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
____________________
“I’VE GOT A PROBLEM.”
Jim tried not to roll his eyes as Doug sank pitiably onto his couch. Sure, no one wanted his help until he was knee deep in crap himself. He took a long slug of his beer and sat across from his brother-in-law.
“Join the club. So what’s the problem?”
Doug stared at his shoes. “I think my wife is having an affair.”
“What?!” Jim spewed beer across the rug. Great. One more mess to clean up. “What makes you think Rachel’s having an affair?”
Doug sighed. “Not an affair affair. At least, not yet.” He sighed again, reminding Jim of a sad, lost puppy.
“Doug—”
“She’s been talking to an old boyfriend.”
“Old boyfriend? What are you talking about? You’re her only boyfriend!”
Doug sat up again, leaned his elbows on his knees. “Except for Jeff. She doesn’t know I know about him, but I do.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Who the hell is Jeff?”
“Jeff. Jeff. She had this fling with him back when I was in college. I thought it was long over, but I ran into him at the gas station today and he mentioned,” Doug took another breath, “he mentioned he and Rachel met for coffee last week.”
Jim sank onto the couch. “Wait a minute. Jeff Dayton Jeff? But he and Grace...”
“Weren’t together at the time. It was after graduation when they’d split up.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
“But that was years ago, Doug. Meeting for coffee is no big deal. Especially seeing as he didn’t lie about it. I’m sure it’s ancient history. For both of them.”
“If it’s ancient history, why didn’t she tell me? But she hasn’t. Not one word! She’s gone and had coffee with some old flame and doesn’t tell me? Don’t you think that’s a little suspicious?” Doug was on his feet now, his hands gesturing almost comically.
“You actually think Rachel would cheat on you? Are you kidding?”
“No, I’m not kidding! She’s been acting weird lately. Restless. Moody...”
“She’s pregnant!”
“It’s more than that. I tell you, I think she’s thinking about having an affair with him!”
“Talk to her.”
“I can’t.”
“You will!”
“I won’t!” Doug plopped back onto the couch defiantly.
Jim’s legs ate up the distance to the kitchen. Of all the stubborn, stupid, ridiculous...! He had real problems to deal with, not some made up, imaginary— “Call her!” he insisted, thrusting his phone toward his brother-in-law.
“She won’t admit it.”
Jim rolled his eyes and punched in Rachel’s number. “Hey, Rachel? It’s Jim. Doug’s here. Yeah. Hey, the reason I’m calling is Doug thinks you’re having an affair. Uh-huh. I told him he’s crazy, but he’s got some— Rach?”
Jim dropped his arm. “Lost her. Must have gone out of range.”
Doug scowled and took a swig of Jim’s beer. “Isn’t that convenient?”
Jim sighed. “Oh, snap out of it. She’s not, I repeat, not having an affair with Jeff.”
“Maybe not yet, but she’s thinking about it.”
“Then get her thinking about something else!”
Doug raised his eyebrows. “Like?”
Jim grabbed his beer back and became intensely focused on pulling the label off his bottle. “You know. Spice things up a little.”
“Uh-uh. Rachel doesn’t like things too crazy if you know what I mean.”
Jim closed his eyes on a bid for strength. Where was Carter when you needed a guy with no verbal filter to say what needed to be said? He winced. “You sure about that? I mean... just asking.”
Doug peered up at him. Jim avoided eye contact. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
Jim cleared his throat. “If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then, yes.”
Doug frowned. “I’ve always held Rachel on such a pedestal. She’s a wonderful woman.”
“Yes. Yes, she is,” Jim agreed.
“She deserves to be treated well. With respect.”
“Yes. Yes, she does.”
“And she came back to me, you know? She didn’t want him after all. I swore then and there I wasn’t going to do anything, ever, that might remind her about, you know, him... Maybe that was a mistake.”
“Maybe.”
“And, hey, your sister’s a beautiful woman. Who wouldn’t want to—you know?”
“Nothing more needs to be said, I’m thinking.”
“You’re right.” Doug bounded from the couch. “You’re right! I just hope it’s not too late!” He clasped Jim in an awkward hug. “Thank you! I’m so glad we had this conversation!”
Jim grimaced and took a step back. “Me, too.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
____________________
“DO-IT-DAY?” RACHEL LET OUT an indelicate whoop of laughter. “Wait till Mom hears about this!”
“Rachel, I don’t know if they want it to be common knowledge.”
“I don’t know, sounds to me like they’re kind of proud of it,” Grace interjected, pushing aside her iced tea. “Think about it! They’re rebels, all of them. Nobody had sex before marriage back then.”
Kate bobbed her straw in her lemonade and smiled wryly. “Apparently they did.”
“I guess you’re right.” Rachel grabbed an onion ring from the basket in the center of the table. “I can’t believe how good these taste. If I don’t eat when I get hungry—” She cut herself off abruptly and stuffed an onion ring into her mouth.
Kate nodded. “No problem.” The smell of the onion rings wasn’t doing great things for her own stomach, but she’d been so grateful when Rachel had stopped the car, she hadn’t quibbled about where they were going.
“So,” said Rachel, “you weren’t crying and walking aimlessly in the dark because our grandmothers had premarital sex, so how about you tell us the real reason we’re here?”
Kate grimaced and bobbed her straw again, glanced around the diner. “You get right to it, don’t you?”
“I have a feeling we have a limited amount of time till Dad runs out of entertainment for Liam and calls for reinforcements.”
“Right.” Kate sipped her drink. “Do you want the short version or the long one?”
“Quit stalling,” said Grace. “Give us the short and we’ll probe for details.”
“Right.” Kate played with her straw. “The thing is... I’m...” She blew out a long breath. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“We could say it for you, but I think it’s good for you to say it first,” said Rachel.
“I’m sorry?”
“You need the practice. You know, for when you tell the father. So go ahead, tell us.”
“You know I’m pregnant?!”
Rachel took another hearty bite of onion ring. “Well, duh. I think we kind of got the hint when you opened with the premarital sex story. Plus, you go a little green around the gills every time I bite into an onion ring. Why didn’t you just say something? I could have ordered something else.”
Kate blinked her surprise at the three other women around the table. What was it with thes
e people? Was she that much of an open book? “I don’t know what to say.”
“Why don’t you say the words? As I said, good practice.”
“Okay.” She took a breath. “I’m pregnant.”
“See? It gets easier every time you say it. I know. First few times it feels so unreal, and I actually thought I wanted to get pregnant.”
Grace turned abruptly. “Thought you wanted? What’s that supposed to mean? Of course you want to be pregnant!”
“You’re pregnant?” Susan gasped.
Rachel blushed, nodded. “Eleven weeks.”
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks.”
“What do you mean, ‘thought you wanted?’” Grace said again.
Rachel frowned. “We’re not talking about me. We’re here for Kate. Kate needs to be able to say the words.”
“I don’t know how—” Kate began.
“Yes, you do,” Rachel insisted. “I know it’s scary, because every time you say the words, ‘I’m pregnant’ it makes it more real. Like you’re one step closer to that delivery room.”
Susan frowned delicately. “I don’t remember it feeling like—”
“What do you mean, ‘thought you wanted?’” Grace persisted.
“She’s right,” Kate replied shakily. “It’s true.” She buried her face in her hands.
“Okay,” said Susan, “she’s pregnant. The next logical question is: who’s the father?”
“Doug, of course!” Grace gasped.
“What?!” Rachel cried.
Kate held up a hand in silent plea. “Are we talking about me or not?”
“We’re talking about you,” Susan assured her, giving her friends a quelling look. “So, who’s the father?”
“You don’t know?” asked Kate.
“Oh,” said Rachel, “we have a hunch, but let’s pretend we have no idea.”
Kate blanched as Rachel stuffed another onion ring in her mouth. “The ironic thing is, I thought the baby was Randy’s, my late husband’s...”
“Mmm.” Susan frowned. “I’m thinking that’s not a good opener. For telling the father. It’s not a good way to start. I mean, you don’t want him to remember who else has been in the picture, because we all know it’s irrelevant. I wouldn’t open with that.”
