Kentucky Sunrise

by Fern Michaels

  Both women watched as a hummingbird swooped down to suck at one of the luscious flowers. A pale yellow butterfly circled and swirled before it, too, settled on one of the colorful blooms. Off in the distance, one of the barn dogs let loose with a loud howl. The hummingbird and the butterfly took wing at the same moment. The barking continued, a sign that something was amiss in one of the barns. Nealy shrugged it off. It could be something as simple as a mouse scurrying down the breezeway, or it could be something as sinister as a horse in trouble. If it were the latter, one of the workers would have rung the bell.

  “Is there really room at the center for Emmie, Fanny?”

  “There’s room. You won’t like the rules at first, and neither will Emmie, but they work. Sunny is the living proof. She’s getting worse. I would give my life for her if it would do any good. Through it all, she remains very brave. I think it’s mostly for my benefit. I wish you could have known her when she was younger. She was like golden sunshine. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t do, and she was totally fearless. I have these horrible nightmares about her.”

  Fanny’s voice turned fretful when she said, “I know I’m an old woman now, and Sunny is aging, too, so that may be part of it. Her prognosis is not good. I don’t want to bury one of my children. I don’t think I could handle that.”

  “Oh, Fanny, that isn’t going to happen. Sunny is a fighter. You just have to look at her to know that. Every day modern medicine is making giant strides in cases like hers. You said it’s all in the mind-set. You need to listen to your own words. And on that thought, I think we need to join the rest of the family. Oooh, look at that butterfly. I don’t think I ever saw a pink-and-brown one before.”

  They watched as a steady stream of butterflies made an appearance in the little flower garden. White ones, yellow ones, blue ones tinged with black, and the beautiful pink one. Some were big and some were small and delicate.

  “They’re like our children, aren’t they, Nealy? The big ones are robust and strong, and their wings are wide. The little ones look so fragile and delicate, like Sunny and Emmie. I suppose you can liken anything to anything. Does that make sense?”

  “It does to me,” Nealy said, standing up. She reached down for Fanny’s hand. She, too, was thin and fragile, like her daughter. She shuddered under the warm sun as she wondered what the future held in store for her and her family.

  “I think you’re right, it’s time to join the others. I think I hear your band warming up,” Fanny said, a catch in her voice.

  It was almost dusk when Nealy settled herself in one of the Adirondack chairs next to Maggie Tanaka. “That was a pretty decent softball game,” she said. She patted her stomach. “I’m stuffed. I can’t remember the last time I ate that much.”

  “I had doubles of everything. You throw a good barbecue, Nealy. Would you look at those guys?” Maggie laughed as she pointed to the ballplayers stretched out in the bluegrass. “I think the game kicked their butts. It’s also probably the most exercise any of them has had in years. I am, of course, speaking of just our family. Your employees have it all together and won the day. Our guys were like slugs compared to the farm team. Twenty-seven to two is not a good score.”

  “They had fun. By tomorrow they’ll put a spin on it that you won’t recognize.” Nealy grinned.

  “It’s so nice to have the whole family here. Next time we have to make sure all the grandkids, kids, and spouses can come. I never realized how busy kids’ lives are. There’s either some kind of lesson or some party they absolutely must attend. They have schedules. Do you believe that? I realize now I didn’t give everyone enough notice. That’s a failing of mine. I always say, next time I’ll do better. I get so caught up in things and time gets away from me.”

  Maggie sipped from her glass of ginger ale. “We’re all alike when it comes to things like that. I’m notorious for thinking I did or said something when all I did was think about it. It’s called having senior moments. They usually hit you around the time you hit the big five-oh.” She changed the subject abruptly. “Is there anything I or any members of the family can do for Emmie?”

  “No, but thanks for asking. Fanny wants me to take her to that fabulous center they built in Las Vegas. It has to be Emmie’s decision, not mine.”

  “It’s really a state-of-the-art fantastic rehab center. It’s been written up all over the world. If they can’t help her, no one can. They have a top-notch dedicated staff. If Fanny can get you in, snap it up. I understand the waiting list is years into the future. It’s just like everything else in life, Nealy. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. RA is not something to ignore.”

  Nealy plucked at a blade of grass. “We used to whistle with these. I wish you could all stay a bit longer. A one-day visit hardly seems enough, and I’m glad you all agreed to come even if it was just for the day. I understand everyone has a busy life, but it would be nice to just lounge around and talk for days and days.”

  “Next year, let’s do our family reunion in Hawaii. We have the room, and the Pacific Ocean is right below the house. You’ll love it. The kids can run on the beach, and something is always going on for the young people. By the way, Nealy, I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing for Jake.”

  “I think he might have what it takes. Only time will tell. He seems like a fine young man.”

  “This family has certainly had its share of tragedies,” Maggie said, her eyes on the ballplayers, who were moaning and groaning as they struggled to their feet. “It was a delightful day, Nealy, and for that, I’m grateful. It seems lately the only time the family gets together is when tragedy strikes or there’s a funeral.”

  Nealy grimaced. “I think I have to find my husband so I can start playing hostess.”

  “Run along, dear, I’m going to join Fanny and Ruby and catch up on the latest gossip,” Maggie said.

  Nealy leaned over to kiss Maggie’s cheek before she trotted off to find Hatch.

  Nealy lay quietly, listening to her husband’s even breathing. Hatch slept like a log, whereas of late she did little more than snooze her way through the night. Maybe it was the thin slice of moonlight on the bedcovers that was keeping her awake. Then again, maybe it was Emmie and her own feeling of guilt that wouldn’t allow her to sleep.

  She stretched out her legs and immediately regretted it. The cramp in the calf of her leg was so bad she bolted out of bed. She’d read somewhere that if you pressed your instep on top of the other foot, the cramp would go away. She did it and felt instant relief.

  Maud’s rocker beckoned. She hobbled over to it and sat down, her hands massaging the taut muscle. Wide-awake, she gazed around the room, her eyes coming to rest on her sleeping husband. He was so good, so kind, and she loved him with all her heart. And now she was going to throw him a curve by insisting they move back here to the farm. While her heart would always belong to Blue Diamond Farms, she had slowly weaned herself from it. Now, she was thrust smack-dab in the center of it again. Was she being selfish, thinking of herself instead of her daughter?

  Nealy sighed as she reached for her robe hanging on the back of the rocker. She slipped into it and fumbled under the bed for her slippers. Tiptoeing out of the room, she closed the door gently and walked down the hall to the kitchen stairway. Maybe if she sat on the front porch with a cup of coffee, she could think better. Maybe it wasn’t the front porch that she needed. Maybe she needed to go out to the stallion cemetery and sit.

  While the coffee dripped, Nealy paced, up and down the kitchen, then back and forth. In her entire life she’d never been so wired up. Things were out of control through no fault of her own.

  Once life had been simple. She ate, she slept, and she trained and worked with the horses. That was before the fire that scarred her forever. Marriage had changed her, too. And while she loved Hatch, there was something missing from her life, and that something was Blue Diamond Farms.

  Nealy poured herself a mug of coffee and carried it outside. It was
a beautiful evening with stars sprinkling the heavens. It was warm and balmy, not yet hot and sultry like it would be in a few weeks. A perfect May evening.

  She walked across the driveway, stopping when she thought she heard voices. She tiptoed around to the side of the house. Emmie and Nick were on the porch talking. She smiled in the darkness. Nick, with his common sense, would make Emmie understand the seriousness of her condition. Maybe he could convince her to go to Fanny Thornton’s center for treatment. She forced herself to walk away even though she wanted to join them.

  In the cemetery, she sat down on the stone bench she’d sat on hundreds of times. From her pocket she withdrew a pack of cigarettes. She’d quit smoking so many times she’d lost count, but the turmoil she was going through called for a cigarette. She could quit again tomorrow. She fired up a cigarette and leaned back against the cold bench. In front of her, fireflies danced for her enjoyment. The air was sweet from the tea olive trees planted along the borders of the cemetery, Maud’s favorite trees, which she’d gotten from South Carolina, guaranteed to die in Kentucky’s climate. They hadn’t died, though, because Maud had planted a buffer of hedges to shield them from the winter weather. And she’d always covered them in November. During a really cold spell she’d set out smudge pots, something Nealy herself had followed through with every year. She sniffed. Emmie always said the tea olives smelled like bubble gum. Nick said they smelled like cherry-grape candies.

  “I don’t know what to do, Maud,” she whispered. “You always used to say, and Jess agreed with you, that when you don’t know what to do, do nothing. How can I do nothing when Emmie’s well-being is at stake? It has to be her decision in the end, but I should know the words to convince her to take this chance. I did it after the fire, but I’m not Emmie. I’m to blame for all this. Hatch and Fanny say I’m not, but I am. I swear, I wanted to lie down and die when Emmie said she was only doing what I told her to do all these years, which was to work through the pain. You did it, I did it, but I think both of us were wise enough to know the difference between an ache or a pain as opposed to what Emmie is going through. Then there’s that part of me that can’t understand my daughter’s stupidity. She had to know she had a serious condition. Was she trying to be like me? I just don’t understand.”

  “It’s not your fault, Nealy. Stop being so hard on yourself. Emmie is a grown woman. You can’t shoulder the blame for her condition.”

  “Hunt. Oh, Hunt, you haven’t talked to me in a long time. I know, I know, this is just another dream. For some reason I always feel better when I dream about you. I’m so worried about Emmie.”

  “You have to cut her loose, Nealy. It’s time for her to become her own person. I know how that sounds, like you’re forsaking her, but you aren’t. If she isn’t tough enough to do it, you’ll have to be strong and push her away. Do you want her to live on drugs for the rest of her life? Do you want to coddle her and watch her shrivel in front of your eyes? Fanny gave you the solution.”

  “Sometimes, Hunt, the solution is worse than the condition itself. I don’t know if she can handle it.”

  “Her options ran out, Nealy. Right now she doesn’t have any other choice. Convince her it’s the way to go. Take her to Vegas.”

  “All right, Hunt. Aren’t the fireflies beautiful?”

  “Yes, they are. Let’s talk about you, Nealy. Tell me what you want.”

  “Just to stay here where I belong. I’d like to train Hifly. You know what, Hunt, there’s something about Gadfly that nags at me. That is one mean horse. I feel like I did something wrong. That’s stupid but it’s how I feel. Emmie said he’s a horror and he is.”

  “That’s because he’s in pain. He has an ulcer. How come I have to tell you these things?”

  “Because I’m stupid, that’s why. I’ve only been back a little while. I kept looking at him and watching him. I think I might have figured it out, Hunt. Maybe not this quick but eventually.”

  “I know the way your brain is working, Nealy. You’re already thinking about two horses in the Derby, aren’t you? The kid on Hifly and you on Gadfly. You’ve made history already but two horses from the same sire running against each other in the Derby? Man, that would make the whole world sit up and take notice.”

  “For God’s sake, Hunt, are you forgetting how old I am? Listen, I’m tired. I don’t think I could do that again.”

  “Sure you could. You and the kid. That’s smart, keeping it in the family. Come on, Nealy, you’ve been thinking about this. I know you have. Shoemaker did it, and a lot of others. They’re men. For sure they’ll put you on the cover of Modern Maturity if you pull it off. You have two years to decide.”

  Nealy stirred and opened her eyes. She must have dozed off. She looked down at the luminous hands on her watch: 3:33. The night was still warm, and the fireflies were still dancing in the velvety night. Overhead, the clouds dispersed to reveal a star-spangled sky. She sniffed the fragrant air and sighed. She was home.

  Where she belonged.

  “Thanks, Hunt,” she whispered as she made her way back to the house.

  Now she had a plan.

  Nealy walked through the house and into the living room. The door was open enough so that she could hear Emmie and Nick talking softly. She turned to make her way up the stairs when she heard Nick’s cry of anguish. She stopped and turned around. This time she listened to her children talking.

  “What do you mean, Willow called you? We’ve been sitting out here for over two hours and you’re just now telling me! That’s unforgivable, Emmie! I can’t believe you didn’t call me when she visited you in the hospital. If the situation was reversed, the phone would have been in my hand the minute she walked through the door. You should have hung up on her, never given her the time of day. Damn.”

  “I’m sorry, Nick. I thought I could find out something that would help you, get some answers for you. I didn’t know . . . how could I, what a mean person she is?”

  “You read that report Hatch gave me. Are you blind, Emmie? Don’t you think? Where in God’s name is your head? This is your MO, Emmie. It’s how you do everything. How many times did I tell you to go to the doctor? How many, Emmie? Six, seven, a dozen? You didn’t listen. Now you have a serious medical condition, and you’re being dumb-ass stubborn again. You need to grow up and take some responsibility here. So what if she goes to Buddy? So what? You should have told him about Gabby from the git-go. You didn’t listen to me about that either. Or Hatch. He told you the same thing.

  “You know what, Emmie, if Willow feels like putting the screws to me, she’s going to tell Buddy anyway. You’re in no condition to fight her or Buddy. This is the kind of thing that happens when you let things spin out of control. All right, I’ll go to see her. Jesus, I just can’t believe you let this happen.”

  Nealy had heard enough. She opened the screen door and advanced on her children. “I’m not going to apologize. I was on my way upstairs when I heard you two talking. It sounded like something was wrong. Can I do anything? Can any of us do anything, Nick?”

  “Willow is my problem, Mom. I’ll handle it. I’m going to go to bed now. I think the two of you have some talking to do. Good night.”

  “Good night, Nick,” Nealy said.

  Emmie whimpered into a tissue.

  “I’m going to assume that Willow is the Mary Ann that called you. Emmie, why didn’t you tell us? Did she say what she wanted? Surely she doesn’t want Nick back, or does she?”

  “Mom, I don’t know what she really wants. She said she’s wanted for questioning in a murder case. She said she didn’t have anything to do with her husband’s murder. She just goes around marrying men and leaving them. I think she wants Nick’s firm to represent her. I don’t really know. I’m just guessing. She threatened to tell Buddy about Gabby if I didn’t arrange a meeting with Nick.”

  “That’s blackmail. You could have called the police. Or me, Emmie.”

  “I could have done a lot of things, Mom. I didn’
t, okay? In your eyes I am never going to be able to do anything right. I’ve accepted that. I’ll go with Aunt Fanny to Las Vegas, and Sage can keep Gabby for me. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”

  “Emmie, it doesn’t have to be like this. All we want to do is help you.”

  “I don’t need you, Mom. I don’t want you coming to Vegas with me either. You stay here and run the farm the way you always did.”

  “Emmie . . .”

  “Mom, go in the house and leave me alone before one of us says something we’ll regret.”

  5

  A light drizzle was falling as Nick Clay drove into the parking lot of the famous Kentucky Inn. He cut the engine and leaned back against the seat. An army of worms crawled around inside his stomach, and he was having difficulty breathing. Now, after all this time, he was going to come face-to-face with Willow, his ex-wife, the woman he’d given his young heart to. He closed his eyes, willing his mind to bring forth a picture of Willow behind his closed lids. He wished he was a little kid so he could cry. What was he going to feel when he finally saw her face-to-face? Would his feelings show? Would disgust wash through him? He wished he knew so he could prepare himself.

  He looked out of the window and watched three plump bluebirds huddle under an oleander bush, raindrops spilling all about them. He wondered if the birds were related. What a crazy thought. Still, when had he ever seen three birds clustered together anywhere? Never, that’s when. Was it an omen? He finally decided the birds were looking out for one another just the way he was going to have to look out for Emmie. Son of a fucking bitch, he seethed as he opened the door to climb out of the farm’s pickup.