Falling Back Together

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  I took the shot of whiskey quickly, realizing that Rachel had poured me Johnny Walker Blue label this time. I shot her a quick glance and she just smirked at me and went back to pouring shots for a large group a few seats away from me. I chuckled quietly to myself. If Kris is paying for it, might as well drink the expensive stuff.

  Kris threw his hands in the air, a playfully innocent look washing over his lustful expression. “Look, Mags. You’re here alone. I’m here alone. Just try and tolerate me for one night. If at the end of this evening, I still completely repulse you, you have my word—I will never bother you again. But…” He let the word linger for a moment while his eyebrow rose and my stomach lurched at the idea of him not leaving me alone. “If you do not find me repulsive, you go on a date with me tomorrow night.”

  The idea of spending another minute with Kris was revolting, let alone the entire evening. “Kris, just get the hell away from me. How about that?”

  “Mags, all I’m asking for is one chance.” He sat up straight, putting his hands flat on the bar, his smile fading. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

  I rolled my eyes and knew that I had two options. The first was to leave, and going home to sit in my empty house to think about Walker more would have me in a straightjacket before the morning. And the second was to deal with Kris’s company.

  “Fine. One chance. And you’re buying.”

  Rachel must have heard my comment about Kris actually paying for me, because within seconds, my card was returned to me to be put back into my purse. Kris beamed and settled into a more comfortable position, leaning one elbow on the bar top, propping his head up with his fist.

  With the low lighting of the bar and the amount of alcohol that was sloshing around in my system already, I remembered what had attracted me to Kris in the first place. He was incredibly good-looking and a fantastic smooth talker. His sandy blond hair was a little bit longer than his crew-cut hairstyle from the spring break we had met on the cruise ship, but it was a cute messy, with just the right hint of product in it. His big, round chestnut eyes were warm and inviting. His huge grin was the perfect complement to his defined cheekbones and rigid jawline. All in all, he was just yummy to look at. Not to mention that I knew there was a killer set of rock-hard abs under his dark grey button-down and loose-fitting dark jeans. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

  We sat and made the customary small talk while sipping on beers. Our conversation stayed light, and occasionally I noticed that I was enjoying his company. I tried to not let him know, but I found it harder and harder to not smile back or giggle as the beer started to take over my thoughts.

  My mind darted back to the ship deck where we had found ourselves the first night we met. The full moon lit up gently rolling waves that were crashing into the side of the massive ship. Kris had stolen a bottle of champagne from a dining cart we had passed on our way outside and he popped the cork out into the open water. We lay on a lounge chair, sipping out of the bottle and looking at the stars for hours. That night was the only night I saw any restraint in Kris. The rest of our week was spent sneaking off to fuck in bathrooms, empty cabins, and random abandoned sections of the ship. I couldn’t say that I’d minded one bit, and to be honest, the entire experience had been quite liberating.

  Tonight, the sweet side of Kris was coming out again, and I started to be glad that I had not run out of the bar screaming. I looked down at my cell to see tons of missed calls from Walker. None of which I really felt like dealing with, but it was getting late, so I knew it was time to head for home and some much-needed sleep.

  “Thanks for tonight, Kris. I have to get home. I have work in the morning,” I lied, knowing that if I had nowhere to be in the morning, Kris might have tried to coax me into staying longer.

  Surprisingly, he gave in rather quickly. He nodded and grimaced at me. “So I guess I still repulse you?” He finished his beer and waved his hand in a checking motion at Rachel, who smiled and started to run his card on the POS.

  I smiled at him, touching his hand slightly. “Actually, you have a date for tomorrow night. But let’s just be friends having dinner. I’m not ready for a date yet. You didn’t wow me quite enough.” I hopped off my seat and kissed him on the cheek, whispering into his ear, “Thanks for tonight.”

  He leaned in and brushed his lips over my ear. “You’re welcome. See you tomorrow.”

  I turned towards the bar to wave goodbye to Rachel and thank her. I was surprised that Kris was being such a gentleman, not even trying to come home with me or get me back to his place. Maybe people can change.

  Like usual, my alarm clock sounded way too early. My eyes shot open, realizing that I didn’t remember leaving the bar or getting home. With frustration boiling, I slithered out from under my fluffy down comforter and trudged into my bathroom to shower. While I waited for it to get warmer, I checked through the last few texts I had sent.

  One was to Walker: Just leave me the fuck alone.

  And the other was to Kris: Thanks for sharing a cab with me. Can’t wait for tomorrow night.

  I relaxed my shoulders with the relief of not having driven home and that Kris had stayed true to his word of being gentlemanly and was not in my bed this morning. I am getting way too old to be acting like a damn college sorority chick again!

  The steam started to billow from over the white curtain, and I climbed in to let the calming drops cascade down my back and drench my hair. Buck was right. It was time to me to put all of the drinking behind me. The blackouts, hangovers, and everything else that lay at the bottom of that bottle was not for me any longer.

  My heart was aching and my mind was a jumbled mess of longing, anger, and sadness. I knew that everything that had happened over the last week was just digging at me like a terminal illness, but I could not see a light at the end of this tunnel. I hated the man I was desperate for. I missed the haunting from a ghost that no longer coaxed my dreams. I had an impending dinner with a man I loathed. What the hell is going on?

  I climbed out of my shower, cringing when my feet hit the cool tile. It felt so odd to be in my house again, but I felt a sense of calm from being there as well. It was nice to not have to put on a brave face for anyone, to have to feel as if I had to be somewhere or doing something. It was a welcome, unnerving break.

  I threw my sopping-wet curls into a messy, loose bun and grabbed my purse off my nightstand. I could see my phone flashing at me, and with a sigh, I hopped onto my bed, letting the damp towel fall to the ground, to read the texts from Cali, Mitch, Walker, and Kris:

  Cali: Mags, I need more details than ‘found Walker, did not go well, I’m home…’ Fuck, Mags. Come on?! Really?! You’re killing me!

  Mitch: Cali and I are really worried about you. Please let us know you’re OK.

  Walker: Mags, please don’t do this to me. I love you.

  Kris: I can’t wait for our not-a-date. Pick you up at seven. Semi-formal attire is preferred.

  I was not ready to tackle any of them, but I knew that calling Cali would be killing two birds with one stone. The phone started to ring as I curled under my fluffy comforter.

  Cali’s voice huffed on the other end in an irritated fashion. “Mags! What the…” She stopped herself and sighed, waiting for me to explain.

  “Hey, Cali. Is Mitch with you?”

  “Yeah.” Irritation was a sharp edge on the back of her words.

  I let out a deep breath of emotion before continuing. “Put the phone on speaker. I don’t want to tell this twice.”

  I went into all the details, even explaining how vulnerable I had become in Walker’s arms. I told them about running into Kris and making plans with him for that evening and about all of the messages and texts from Walker.

  Mitch’s voice was soft after he cleared his throat. “Wow, Mags. I am proud of you for being strong enough to realize it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”

  I paused in my rant and cooled my blazing heart; Mitch’s words really sank in. I was so re
lieved to know that he approved of my decision to leave Walker the way I had. “Thanks, Mitch.”

  Cali’s chipper voice chimed in. “Mags, I’m going to be taking a half-day. Want to go get our nails done for a little bit of pampering? I think we both need it.”

  “That sounds like the perfect plan.”

  “I will call VIP and see if they can squeeze us in and I’ll pick you up right after work today!”

  After wishing Cali good luck with everything that was going on at her office and saying my goodbyes, I was emotionally drained from all of the excitement from last couple of days. I snuggled into my soft sheets, flipped my TV on to have some white, daytime-television noise in the background, and dosed off for one of the most glorious naps of my life.

  Thirteen

  My front door slamming was the next thing I heard after dozing off that morning. I rubbed my eyes as flashes of my terrible dream started to come back to me.

  Cali’s voice broke through my visions of being knee-deep in the blood of Randy and Candice. “Mags? Come on. We have an appointment in thirty minutes. You know how we have to get to VIP early to get the good chairs.”

  I jumped out of bed to see my clock blaring that it was almost five in the afternoon.

  “Cal, I’m up in my room. I freaking slept all day.”

  She opened my door and popped her hip out, shaking her head at me. “What a lazy-ass!” She giggled and made her way over to my bed, lying down as she sighed. “Hurry up and get dressed!”

  I grabbed a pair of boot-cut jeans out of my drawer and started to pull them up under Randy’s worn-out shirt, which I had put on in my drunken blackout the night before. I looked down, realized what I was wearing, and gasped. It had been months since I had fished his clothes out of his drawer of t-shirts.

  Cali popped her head up and looked me up and down. “What? Jeans too tight?”

  Adding to the embarrassment that shimmying into my jeans was proving to be a little more difficult than I had expected was the fact that I could not remember putting this shirt on, and that was unsettling.

  “I am wearing Randy’s shirt.”

  Cali’s eyebrow rose at me before she hopped up off the bed and started to go through my drawer to find me a shirt to wear. “Yeah, and? You always used to wear his stuff.”

  “Not after Walker moved in. It felt wrong to wear Randy’s clothes when Walker was here.”

  I looked past Cali to see one of the drawers I had put all of Walker’s stuff in ajar. And then I looked down again at my shirt. I buttoned my jeans and sank to the floor.

  “This is Walker’s shirt.” The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I grasped the fabric in my hands and tears started pouring down my face.

  Cali put her hand on my shoulder, looking down at me like I was crazy. “Love, it’s just a shirt.”

  “Yeah…” I sniffled a few times, “I know. But it’s his shirt.”

  Cali got down on the floor with me and took both of my hands in hers. “Look, Mags. I know you don’t know how you feel about everything and that you really haven’t had time to process it all. I get that. So let’s just have a fun afternoon and get you ready for your dinner with Kris and we’ll deal with all of the Walker bullshit later.”

  I nodded, pulled the shirt over my head, and laid it out on my bed to deal with later. “Yeah, you’re right. I can worry about all of this later.”

  Cali shoved a teal tank top into my hands and pulled a pair of white sandals out of my closet. “Our appointment starts in ten minutes. I swear the hot stone leg massage will help you relax that icky dream right away. I just want to be the first ones in there to get the good chairs.”

  We flew out the door to her little Chevy. Cali jumped into the driver’s seat and leaned over to unlock my door.

  “All right. It is time to get our butts in gear and have ourselves a relaxing afternoon, gosh darn it!” I giggled as Cali opened the sunroof and started singing at the top of her lungs to a song I had heard a thousand times in high school.

  We rushed into the double doors right as our appointments were supposed to be starting. Cali hurried to the desk to talk to the receptionist.

  “Hi, we’re here for five thirty pedicures for the back room.”

  The girl behind the giant white counter could not have been a day over fifteen. She smiled and nodded at Cali as she popped bright pink gum. “Yes, Cali and Mags? I have you two down with Heather and Bobbie. Cali, Bobbie is filling in for Grace, if that’s okay? They’re back there getting your chairs all set up. Pick a color and head on back.”

  Cali nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’m sure Bobbie will do a great job.”

  I waved to the receptionist. “Thank you.” And then we headed for the racks of polish.

  I picked out a fun blue called No Room for the Blues and Cali grabbed her old standby, Chick Flick Cherry. We marched back to the room, said hi to our nail technicians, and sank into our chairs with a sigh.

  Once my feet were soaking in the warm water with the massage chair kneading every nervous knot and kink in my back, I was so glad Cali had suggested this little bit of pampering. There were a few chairs at VIP that were the best massagers. They were only a few months old and really pressed on the shoulders and lower back well. Another nice part about these two chairs was that they were set off in a separate room where the hot stones were kept. It was nice to be able to unwind with complete privacy.

  I relaxed back into the chair right as the warm stones started to rub up and down my right leg. “Good call, Cal. This is perfect.” I was practically purring my words. I had to check to make sure I wasn’t drooling a little from the sheer ecstasy of the warm sensation running down my shins.

  “Yup. Just what the doctor ordered.” Her lips turned up just slightly as she quickly winked at me.

  We settled into our silent enjoyment, every once in a while letting out a sigh of pleasure. As I sat with my eyes closed, my ears perked up when I heard a gravelly, familiar voice greet the woman at the front desk. My body completely froze and my eyes shot to Cali. She was staring back at me with trembling lips as she mouthed, “Kyle.” I’d was hoping that my ears were over reacting, but she was right. Kyle had just walked into the salon.

  Even though he was a tough-guy cop, Kyle did enjoy his regular pedicures. He suffered from terrible ingrown nails, and regular upkeep kept them at bay. Cali and I just stared at each other, too scared to move, breathe, or utter a noise. And of course my sweet and very aware technician, Heather, gawked.

  “What’s with you two? It’s almost like you’ve heard a ghost!”

  Cali shook her head first and in a hushed voice muttered, “My ex just walked in and we aren’t too keen on being seen.”

  All of the color had drained out of Cali’s face as she watched the short, curvy tech give her a snarky smile, push her long wavy hair over her shoulder, and shove up from her rolling stool. I thought about lunging for her as she made her way to the door, but then she pulled it shut and locked it behind her. Cali’s tech smiled at her with an approving head nod and then went back to painting Cali’s toes their fiery coral color.

  Heather plopped back down onto her seat and beamed up at us. “I have one of those deadbeats roaming around. You’re safe in here, ladies.” She motioned her head to the back door before continuing. “You can just sneak out that door when we’re done with your fingernails and no one will be the wiser.”

  With a relieved sigh, I leaned back into the massager. “We need to start listening to Mitch and avoiding places that Kyle goes or knows about.”

  Cali rolled her eyes. “He’s a freaking cop, Mags. He knows about everywhere I go, everything I do.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She propped herself up on one elbow to be able to face me better. “It means he used to follow me around all the time. Always accusing me of lying to him and threatening to catch me ‘in the act.’ And he was the one getting some on the side all along. Fucking dirtbag!”

  “Oh, honey,
you’re preaching to the choir! Just be glad you found out before you got something incurable!” Heather winked over at Cali and then started to scrub the bottom of my foot with a pumice stone, jumping right back to where she left off in her story before Kyle had rudely interrupted her. “Well, like I was saying… Can you believe my oldest just turned twenty-two not too long ago?!”

  I smiled, remembering her countless stories she has told me over the years about her large family. Heather was one of the funniest people I had ever met. She had no filter present from her brain to her mouth.

  I closed my eyes to let myself try to relax again with the soft tones of Led Zeppelin’s In Through the Out Door album playing in the background and Heather telling the other tech about her two-year-old.

  “I don’t know what it is with her, but she won’t let go of her damn bottle. I think this Thanksgiving that darn thing is going to magically run away!”

  She sure was a crazy mom, but I could tell that her love for her family was unconditional. She loved rock and playing video games, and she was from New Brunswick then transplanted to Ontario. From there she’d decided that with the arthritis in her hip it was time to fly south and make her home in the warmer climate down here. We had started coming to VIP about a year into college, and from the first moment Heather’s stunningly beautiful hazel eyes and sharp tongue had shot out from the back room, we knew this was our place.

  Even though being this close to our almost stalker was not just a little nerve-racking, the rest of our little pampering session went on pretty smoothly. Heather chatted away about her holiday plans of going back to New Brunswick for Thanksgiving and then to Ontario for Christmas.

  “You know, gotta split up the time between the families. Fair is fair.”

  I nodded in agreement while taking in the deep bluish-purple tone that was gracefully gliding over my nails. Cali was done, blowing on her hands to speed up the drying process. Her technician was quietly washing out the foot bowls. She was a newer employee and one we’d never had take care of us before. Cali’s regular tech had had a nervous breakdown a few weeks back and hadn’t returned back to work. I did not blame her one bit. Sometimes life was just a little too overwhelming and going back to your former life and self were just not options.