Shiela Stewart - [Darkness 03]

by Embracing Darkness (epub)

  Then the door flew open and Dante stood in the doorway with a shocked look on his face. “Oh, sorry. I…I’ll come back later.”

  “No, wait,” Raven called to him as she climbed off of Jonah’s lap. “Was there something you needed?”

  Clearing his throat, Dante stepped further into the room. “I…uh just was looking for Jonah. I thought maybe we could talk but if you’re—”

  “We weren’t…it’s okay, D. Come in,” Jonah stammered not knowing exactly what to say to what Dante had walked in on.

  “I think I’ll go check on Trinity. Give you boys a bit of time alone.” With a smile for Jonah, she left them alone.

  Feeling very awkward, Jonah tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair. “You doing okay?” It was all he could think to say.

  Dante took a seat on the bed. “I’m doing great. How are you doing?”

  Jonah shrugged one shoulder. “Managing. Have you been in to see Trinity yet?”

  “Yeah, she’s asleep. I have to talk to you, Jonah.”

  “We are talking.” But he knew or thought he knew what Dante wanted to discuss.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t.” He couldn’t hear it, not now when he was still feeling so raw.

  “I should have turned us around the very first time we were hit.”

  “Dante—”

  “I go over that night in my mind all the time, changing this and that and saving both you and Ariel. But the fact remains that nothing has changed, I didn’t turn us around and you were taken by Chaos’ men and Ariel…well.” He cleared his throat and continued. “And I know an apology can’t make up for your loss, for what happened to you, but it’s a start.”

  “It’s not your fault, D. I’ve gone over that night too, but like you said, it always comes back to the present and nothing has changed. I never should have let Ariel come with us. If I hadn’t needed that damn scope things would have been different. But what happened, happened, and beating ourselves up over it won’t bring her back.”

  “Or change the fact that you can’t walk and became a vampire. Jesus man!” Dante lifted his hands, then let them fall. “It was bad enough thinking you were Chaos’ food, but knowing he turned you, and that you can’t walk…man, I just can’t forgive myself.”

  Jonah wheeled himself closer to Dante. “Do you know whose fault it is that I can’t walk? My own. I took my seat belt off to turn around to see the car that was after us. If I’d left it on…well, all the ifs in the world won’t change the facts. So stop beating yourself up because I don’t blame you. Okay?”

  Dante nodded, a faint lift of his lips showed a grin. “We took care of her. Well, Basil and Trinity did. She’s buried on his lot near the back by the woods.”

  “Thanks.” He’d been so worried that the vamps had taken Ariel and dumped her somewhere. But knowing she had been put to rest eased his mind. “What about you and Gypsy? You guys made it out of the accident all right?”

  Dante picked at his pants as he replied. “I got banged up, my knees’ still sore, and I got a knock on the noggin, but Gypsy came out of it with nothing. Trinity has been going nuts looking for you. She even went to the queen for help.”

  “She did?”

  “Yeah. The queen told her where you were but you were gone by the time she got there. The farm was in flames.”

  “Raven got me out. She drugged Chaos and his guard and hauled me out of there. She’s been a godsend to me.”

  “So I see.” Dante grinned slyly.

  “It’s not what it looks like. She was comforting me.”

  Dante nodded, still grinning.

  “I’m mourning my wife, Dante.”

  “And easing your sorrow in the arms of another woman is just fine.” When the door opened both Dante and Jonah looked up as Basil entered the room.

  “Raven told me where to find you. Can we have a minute, Dante?”

  Slipping off the bed, Dante held his hand out to Jonah. “Great to have you back, my man.”

  Jonah took his hand and gave it a sturdy shake. “Glad to be back.”

  Basil waited until Dante had left before he spoke. “She wants to see you.”

  Jonah chewed his lip. “She’s awake?”

  Basil nodded, his eyes scanning over Jonah’s body. “But before you go in to see her, I need to know some things. Was it Chaos that sired you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was it he that put you in that chair?”

  “No. The accident did.”

  Basil rubbed his chin. “Do you know where he is, can you find him?”

  “No. After he turned me, Raven drugged him and took me out of there. If I knew where he was I would tell you.”

  Basil nodded, still rubbing his chin. “Why didn’t you let us know you were all right? Trinity thought it was a ploy on Chaos’ behalf when you called.”

  Jonah let out a deep sigh. He was never going to tell Trinity or any one for that matter what he’d been about to do that day he’d called her. “I know. I’m sorry. I was dealing with…things, but I should have reassured her.”

  “Well, you can apologize to her now.” He opened the door and waited. “And Jonah…”

  “Yeah.”

  Basil smiled as he spoke. “It’s great to have you back.”

  That was one thing he hadn’t expected. The smile. “Thanks.”

  ***

  If he’d been able to go by himself he most likely would have either sat at the door forever, or simply chickened out and left. But since Basil was with him, and had already opened the door to Trinity’s room, he had no choice but to wheel his ass into the room.

  Jonah couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever been hesitant at seeing Trinity.

  He was more than hesitant now for so many reasons.

  The chair he sat in was one. Being a vampire was another. But her condition was the topper.

  “Guess who I have?” Basil chimed in as he entered her room.

  Jonah wheeled himself inside, glancing briefly at the bed she was laying in. “Hey.”

  “Jonah! You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

  “Stay in the bed,” Basil warned when she tried climbing off.

  “I’m fine.”

  He heard her slip from the bed and kept his head down. “I know you were worried. I’m sorry. That’s why I called earlier. To let you know I was okay.”

  “Why won’t you look at me? Look at me, Jonah,” she insisted but he still kept his head down. “Damn it, look at me!”

  He lifted his head and though he’d expected her to show some sign of surprise, she gave him nothing. He held his chin firm and refused to show the pain he was feeling inside.

  “The yellow goes with your hair in a way. Makes you look even cuter.” The left side of her mouth lifted in a faint grin. She had bruises on her face, on her forehead, over her left eye and on her chin. Several tiny cuts splashed over her face in a bizarre puzzle shape.

  He didn’t respond, not with words or facial expressions.

  “Basil told me what happened to you. About being injured, about being turned.” She knelt down at his feet and took his hands in hers much in the same way Raven had earlier. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Please don’t.” He looked away and caught his breath. When her finger touched his chin and forced him to face her, his resolve began to waver. “I never wanted you to see me like this.” He ran a hand from head to toe. “I didn’t want you to see how weak I was.”

  “Weak?” She held his chin up when he tried to lower it. “You think you’re weak because of what happened to you?”

  “Because I didn’t do more to save Ariel, to stop Chaos from turning me. I should have fought harder, instead I gave up and let him beat me and turn me. I wanted him to k
ill me. I was going to end it when I called you. So, yes, I’m weak and I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

  She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him. It was a look he was very familiar with which meant she was pissed.

  “You’re an ass.”

  “Trinity—”

  She cut Basil off with a raised hand. “How dare you think so little of me. I have never ever thought of you as a weak person and now is no different. You were in pain, you’d just lost your wife and was being held hostage. Any sane person would want it all to end. The fact that you didn’t puts you one up on so many who don’t fight back.”

  “Raven stopped me,” he blurted out then swallowed hard.

  She nodded. “Okay, so she stopped you. But you’re still here which tells me you’ve come to your senses. The Jonah I know wouldn’t give up so easily. It’s nice to see he’s still inside of you.”

  Her smile brought out his own.

  “I hear you came to my rescue. Which also shows just how strong you are. Now I’m going to say something to you that I’ve never said to you but should have.”

  He was expecting a thank you.

  “I love you.”

  That he was not expecting. Or the hug when she knelt down and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You idiot!”

  Now that was his Trinity.

  He laughed and hugged her back. “I love you back.”

  “I’m getting all choked up here.” Basil sniffled. His voice was rich with sarcasm.

  She released him and promptly gave Basil the finger, then sat down on the bed. “It’s only your lower half that’s affected?”

  He nodded, placing his hands on the wheels. They were beginning to feel much too comfortable there. “Yeah, but I’m starting to get some motion and feeling back. Raven’s been working on keeping my legs in shape.”

  “Seems like she’s been a great help to you.”

  Jonah nodded at Basil’s comment. “I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

  “I’m glad you had her. Did she tell you that I’m pregnant?”

  Jonah nodded and lowered his eyes. “Yeah, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.” He looked up at her now. “I’m just not ready for that yet and I know that’s prickish of me—”

  “I understand,” she reassured him. “I just had to know. Can you talk about being held by Chaos?”

  He could, but he didn’t like to. “Not much to tell, really. He chained me to a wall, whipped me, and…” He couldn’t tell her she was the reason he’d been turned. “Decided I’d make a nice snack.”

  “He did it to get even with me. You don’t have to say it, I know. It would be something he would do. I wish I could turn you back.”

  “Don’t.” He wheeled himself closer, touching her hands with his. “If I’ve learned anything this past week is that you can’t go back. What’s done is done and nothing can change it. We move on.” He squeezed her hands and smiled. “Okay?”

  She nodded, squeezed his hands back.

  “I’m glad we’re back to normal. Now all we need to do is catch Chaos and get our lives back to where they should be,” Basil retorted from his spot across the room where he’d been standing since he and Jonah had entered.

  His life would never be back the way it should be because so much had been lost. But Jonah wanted more than anything to start over. And to do that, he wanted Chaos caught.

  Maybe then he could move forward.

  Chapter Eleven

  Feeling better after talking with Trinity, Jonah wheeled himself to his room. He figured Dante and Gypsy had taken a room for themselves and Cooper was probably in his glory over looking at all the medical equipment. It was like it almost possessed him. Then again, Jonah thought, when he was knee deep in computers or programs, he felt a little possessed himself.

  He missed his computers.

  Pushing the door to his room open, Jonah noticed the light over his bed was out. And as she scanned the room, he saw Raven asleep on her cot. She was curled on her side, facing his bed, a thin blanket drawn over her body all the way up to her chin. He smiled, thinking he liked to sleep the same way. Even when it was hotter than hell outside, he liked to curl up in the blankets.

  Not wanting to disturb her, he moved as quietly as he could. The wheels on his chair squeaked, causing her to stir, and Jonah held his breath. When she let out a long sigh and continued to sleep soundly, he inched a little closer. He’d need to look for something to grease the wheels.

  Finally close enough to the bed, Jonah put the brakes on then pushed himself to the edge of his seat. Using all his energy, he lifted his right foot off the pedal and gave a silent cheer when he set it on the floor. Now that was progress. Unfortunately the left wasn’t as cooperative. So he gave it a hand by lifting it up and setting it beside its twin. Then he grabbed the bedrail and hoisted himself up.

  He put the pressure of his weight on his right side and with his arms stabilizing him, he stood. “Yes!” he cheered in a hushed voice.

  “What?” Raven sat up and clicked on a flashlight she’d obviously had beside her in her bed. “What are you doing?”

  “Standing. I didn’t mean to wake you.” But hell, he really was standing.

  “Oh my God! You are standing.” She pushed from her bed in a rush and ran to his side. “You’re standing!”

  “Yeah.” He laughed, his arms beginning to wobble a little with his weight. “Damn, it feels good.” Then he buckled and she was right there to catch him. “And down I go. Damn it!”

  With a bit of huffing and a great deal of effort, Raven lifted him back up, supporting him, and helped him onto the bed. “Small steps, Jonah. But this was fabulous. I’m glad I woke up to see it. You have an incredibly sexy smile.” She grunted as she hoisted him into a flat position on the bed. “Sexy dimples. It’s nice to see. Even in the dim light.”

  He wondered if his cheeks were as red as they felt. The only woman who ever called him sexy had been his…wife. Then she clicked the light on over his bed and he hoped his face had calmed down.

  “You’re blushing. That’s adorable.”

  Apparently not. “Can you stop now?”

  “Why? I love your smile. You need to smile more often.”

  So should she. Her face glowed with the smile and her eyes sparkled with glee, the light making them twinkle like stars. They were such a deep blue and they reminded him of warm water baked by the sun.

  “Are you comfortable?”

  “Huh?” He’d been so lost in her eyes that he hadn’t comprehended what she’d just said to him.

  “Comfortable?”

  “Yeah.” He let it flow out like a breath. Her eyes really were getting to him and he had to force himself to look elsewhere. “I’m not really that tired. I should have gone for a stroll and left you to sleep.”

  She pulled his blankets up tucking then around his chest. “I’m glad you did. I got to see you upright and smiling.” Then she leaned down and kissed his forehead.

  He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but he just did it. Taking her head in his hands he brought her down to his face and captured her mouth with his. Her lips were warm, soft, and delicious. And he just couldn’t help himself but to take more.

  He feathered his fingers through her hair and kept her tight to him as he explored her lips more thoroughly. He found himself using his other hand to grip her arm to keep her in place. She kissed him back with as much need as he kissed her. With his eyes closed, he could still see her eyes inside his mind.

  He sunk into the calm blue waters and let himself go.

  Her hand came to rest on his chest and his heart began to speed up. He felt the energy soaring inside and felt himself grow hard. He pulled away, catching his breath and saw her looking at him
with a smile on her face and her blue eyes gleaming.

  He felt himself slipping.

  “I feel like I’m cheating,” he whispered, glancing at her swollen pink lips.

  “Then we’ll take it slow until you feel differently.” She stroked his face with her hand and kissed him one last time before standing up. “Try and get some sleep.”

  ***

  Sleep? How was he supposed to sleep when he was feeling incredibly keyed up and utterly guilty?

  “How the hell are we supposed to sleep on this thing?” Dante gave the hospital bed a punch with his fist, snarling at it. “These things are as uncomfortable as they come. Sleeping on a bed of nails would be more comfortable.”

  “Ever had sex on one?”

  Dante spared Gypsy a sideways glance while snorting. “The last thing on anyone’s mind when sleeping on one of these torture devices is sex.”

  “I take that as a no.” She began undressing, tossing her shirt on the chair beside the bed. “But it sounds like you’ve spent some time in one.”

  “I was shot in my cadet days on the force. Spent five agonizing days on my back in one of these bitches.” He gave it another slug. Maybe he should sleep on the floor. It would probably be more comfortable.

  When she stepped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest he felt the distinct press of her naked breasts through his shirt. He instantly had a hard-on.

  “I’m betting I can make you forget all about this lousy bed in no time.” She slithered around to face him and he had the pleasure of gazing upon her very naked body.

  He never got tired of looking at her body.

  “Yeah? You think so? That’s a pretty tough order to fill sweetheart.” He teased her, sweeping a finger from her forehead down her nose.

  “I think I can manage it. Hop up,” she said, patting the bed.

  Happy to oblige, he did so but first removed his jeans. He’d become partial to not wearing underwear.

  She smiled deviously at him, then bent at the waist and took him into her mouth.

  He closed his eyes and moaned. Now this was more like it.