All's Well That Ends Well

by Roseanne Dowell

  “Oh they live in Mike’s house now. Elsa was only here while her son was on vacation and Mike was here for therapy. They weren’t permanent residents like us. They stop by and visit every so often. Matter of fact, they were here yesterday. Happier than two peas in a pod.” Delores set her walker aside.

  “Yeah, Elsa said Mike waits on her hand and foot. They’re planning a trip to Arizona. Elsa wants to see the Red Rocks.” Elmer moved next to Delores and took her hand. “Wish we could travel.”

  “So what’s happening around here since they left?” Ethel shifted in her chair. I couldn’t believe she finally spoke up, but Ethel had even less patience than me.

  “Someone is stealing from the nursing home and its residents.” Delores threw Ethel a dirty look.

  ”So what happened after Mike and Elsa moved out?” I interrupted what promised to be an altercation. When Ethel becomes impatient, all hell breaks loose.

  Delores sighed. “It was the strangest thing. First several of my nightgowns disappeared.”

  “Did you report it?”

  “Yeah, not that it mattered. Around here they think everyone’s mind is gone. After a while we didn’t even bother.”

  “So what else?”

  “Two pair of my good trousers went missing,” Elmer said.

  “And my best blouse.” Blanche looked indignant.

  I looked at the others.

  “Two of my sweaters,” Gladys said.

  “My best pair of shoes.” Edith folded her arms indignantly across her chest.

  “My panties,” Genevieve whispered.

  Obviously, Genevieve was the quiet one of the group.

  “Any ideas who might have taken them and why? That’s a strange array of items and all different sizes, too.”

  “None,” Delores said. “And it’s got worse, my watch disappeared last week, Elmer’s ring, Edith’s earrings, and Blanche’s necklace. The clothing was one thing, but these other items were expensive.”

  “Don’t forget about my silver shoes,” Genevieve spoke louder this time.

  Silver shoes, who would’ve thought delicate little Genevieve would have silver shoes? I wondered where she wore them. I pushed the thought aside. “Do you think the first items were decoys? You know, to make you look incompetent.”

  “Hard to say.” Delores leaned forward, “Thing is reporting it gets us nowhere. We’ve tried investigating ourselves, but we don’t know where to start.”

  “Is anyone else’s stuff disappearing? Any of the other residents, that is?”

  “We don’t know. Most of them are either too ill to talk or their minds are gone. They’re in different wings. There’s a few others like us who are here for assisted living, but they don’t want anything to do with us. George convinced them we were evil.”

  “George?”

  “Yeah, George Kendall. He’s the one who was sweet on Elsa. Almost got thrown in jail for destroying property and lying about Mike. Elsa insisted they drop the charges.” Edith joined the conversation. “Elsa’s too soft-hearted.”

  “So why is he against you?”

  “We were friends with Mike. George is a jerk,” Elmer said. “Big overgrown baby. Cries and complains about everything.”

  “Do you think he’s responsible for taking your things?” Seemed the most likely suspect to me.

  “We thought so at first,” Delores said. “But we talked about it and nah, we don’t think so.”

  “I don’t think he has the brains, for one thing. Bit of an idiot if you know what I mean.” Elmer put his arm around Delores.

  “You’ll have to elucidate that for me. I’m not quite sure I understand.” George might act like a baby, but I had a feeling he wasn’t dim-witted.

  “She means explain. My sister likes to use big words. She thinks it makes her sound intelligent,” Ethel said when everyone looked at me with blank stares.

  “George isn’t stupid by any means, but he doesn’t have a lot of common sense. I just don’t think he’d figure out how to get into our rooms without us knowing. Although, he did get into Mike’s room once. Those two really went after each other.” Edith laughed and reminded me a bit of the poem about St. Nicholas.

  Her chubby cheeks crinkled her eyes and her little round belly shook when she laughed like a bowl full of jelly. Edith reminded me of Ed’s grandmother. Pictures of her, I’d never actually met the woman. She’d passed from this world years before I’d met Ed. Edith’s smile was contagious. One just couldn’t help grinning when they looked at her.

  “So if you don’t think it’s George, do you have any other ideas?” This was more complicated than I thought.

  “There’s that squirrely little man that hangs out with George. Can’t recall his name. Gives me the creeps every time he looks at me,” Blanche said.

  “Boris something or other,” Edith said. “He gives me the creeps too. Nasty looking, too. Straggly hair, disheveled clothes. Always food down the front of his shirt, I swear it hadn’t been changed in a week. Looks like he never showers, but never got close enough to find out.”

  I shivered at the description. Didn’t sound like someone I wanted to meet. “Do you think he and George are involved in this together?”

  “Nah, George is a jerk and acted really stupid over Elsa, but that was pure jealousy. Now that she’s gone, I doubt he’d be involved in anything like this. Especially since they warned him about his behavior.” Elmer ran his hand along Delores’s arm.

  The man was obviously smitten. Not that Delores objected. She looked at him with puppy dog eyes. Certainly not someone I’d picture her with, but beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. There’s that ‘they’ again.

  “Okay, so tell me why you suspect Boris, other than he gives you the creeps.” I needed something more to go on. You couldn’t go around accusing someone just because of his looks or you didn’t like the way he looked at you.

  “I got nothing,” Delores said. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “Excuse me, I need to mop here. Can you move across the room, please?” The cleaning lady interrupted our conversation.

  I hoped she hadn’t heard us. It wouldn’t do well for the help to hear this kind of conversation. I watched the tiny woman swing the long handled mop around. The handle was longer than she was tall, but she handled it with ease. She blew the strands of dark hair that escaped her ponytail and fell across her eyes.

  “That’s Izzy,” Delores said in answer to my unspoken question. “Isabella Hume to be precise. Best cleaning lady we’ve had.”

  Funny how in tune Delores was with my thoughts. Almost scared me. Was she psychic? Izzy would have access to all the rooms whether the residents were in them or not. Chalk up another one for my list. The squeaky slapping of nurse’s shoes interrupted my thoughts.

  “Time for your meds, Elmer,” the mousy, gray-haired, pudgy nurse said.

  “Already, Martha?” Elmer took the cup of pills and glass of water offered.

  “Afraid so, darlin’. Time flies when you’re having fun.” Martha’s smile lit up her face.

  “Time flies even when I’m not having fun.” Elmer swallowed his pills and laughed.

  “Careful there, buddy, can’t have you choking.” Martha looked around the group. “Enjoy your visitors.”

  “Oh they’re not my visitors. They’re Delores’s. We just horned in,” Elmer said.

  Martha looked at us and smiled. “Well, y’all have a good time now, hear.” She hurried off before anyone had a chance to reply.

  “Martha Downley,” Delores said before I had a chance to ask. “She’s a sweetheart. From the South. Georgia, I believe. Too bad she didn’t have time to stay and chat. The stories that woman tells and her sense of humor keeps us rolling with laughter.”

  “Yeah, she’s more like a friend than a nurse. Always takes the time to chat when she’s not busy,” Edith said.

  “I see.” Another name I added to the list of suspects. For all I knew, it could be one of this group. Str
anger things happened. Although I doubted someone would steal their own stuff. On the other hand, it’d be a great way to throw off suspicion. Certainly gave me a lot to think about. “Can we take a tour of the home?”

  “Sure, come on.” Delores stood and Elmer immediately attached himself to her.

  I chuckled at the way everyone trailed after them. We must have looked like a parade going two by two down the hall. I must say, for Senior Citizen Complexes I was impressed. It looked more like an apartment building. At least this section did anyway. Doorways to the residents’ rooms were set in little alcoves. Some had tables or small stools with pictures above them. Most of the doors held different types of wreaths.

  Delores stopped in front of room 114. A small table with a vase of flowers sat under a picture of a sailboat. “This here’s my room. Want to see it?”

  It goes without saying, of course I did. She opened the door and stood aside for Ethel and me to enter. “Stay here,” she said to the rest of the group. Elmer’s expression immediately changed to one of unhappiness.

  The open concept living room, dining room, and kitchen was much larger than I expected. A small hall led to a half bath and bedroom. The master bath door stood open at the opposite end of the bedroom. Quite nice, very neat and very nicely decorated. The curtains matched the rose-patterned quilt on the bed, the walls a neutral cream color.

  I looked around the small kitchen. It had all the modern appliances, including dishwasher and micro-wave. The only thing missing was a stove. It looked more like independent living than assisted living. “Much larger than I expected. Did you decorate it yourself?” Needless to say, I was impressed.

  “Yes, we’re allowed to have our own furniture and we pick out the paint and wallpaper borders.” A look of pride crossed her face.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, why are you here?”

  Delores laughed. “My age, for one thing. My knees don’t always hold me up, hence the walker. And sometimes I forget to take my medicine, so they make sure I get it at the proper times. They also provide meals if I chose to take them. As you can see, there’s no stove, but we are allowed to have microwave meals. I usually eat breakfast here – a bowl of cereal or toast – and a sandwich for lunch. I go down for dinner every day, unless I have guests who bring me something. That doesn’t happen often. So I eat with my friends in the dining room.”

  I must admit, it wasn’t a bad place to live. If I ever reached that stage in life, I’d consider a place like this. Provided, of course, I had all my faculties. Or at least the main portion of them.

  I shuddered to think the time might come. We all think of ourselves as young, invincible, and living forever. Delores led me out of the apartment, and we continued our tour. We passed the reception area, turned left and entered the dining room. Beautiful white linen covered the tables with bud vases holding one single rose, a different color for each table. My surprise must have shown on my face.

  “We’re somewhat disabled, we’re not dead. We still enjoy fancy dining,” Genevieve said. “And the meals are good. Gordy is an excellent chef. Good-looking too. A hottie, I believe they’re referred to today.”

  Quiet, little Genevieve suddenly came to life. The woman hadn’t said two words since she mentioned what was stolen from her.

  “Ohhh, Gordy.” Elmer struck a pose like a high fashion model, waved his hand in front of his face, and spoke in a high pitched whine.

  Delores slapped him playfully. “You’re just jealous ’cause he’s tall, young, good-looking, and all the women drool over him. All but me, that is. He’s not my type.”

  “Just what is your type, honey pie?” Elmer put his hand on back of her head, drew her close and kissed her.

  Good lord, were these octogenarians making out? Did Ed and I look like that when he kissed me in public? Not that there was anything wrong with it. They certainly had every right to kiss. As Genevieve pointed out, they were somewhat disabled, not dead. They still had emotions, needs. Didn’t seem to matter how old you were, you still craved love, still wanted to feel cherished, still needed that personal contact, the intimacy that comes with companionship.

  I decided to go off alone. Wandering around by myself, I could be more observant. “I’ll meet up with you in a minute. I want to check some things out by myself.” I continued down the hall without them and came to a door standing open. Naturally, being curious, I went through. This was definitely not assisted living.

  Most of the doors were open. Looked more like private hospital rooms, just a bed, dresser and chair. Not very big. Several patients were asleep, either in bed or curled up in the chair.

  I passed a little old lady wandering aimlessly. “Dearie, can you help me find my room?”

  I shook my head. Poor thing sounded pathetic. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where your room is.” I continued on through what must have been the lounge. Several patients stared blankly at a TV. Some sat at a card table, mumbling to themselves. This wasn’t the nursing section. These patients were all dressed and walking around. What had I wandered into?

  I turned the corner and came across the poor old woman again. She smiled at me. “Are you new here?”

  Oh lord, she thought I was a patient. I had to get out of here and quickly. I hurried down the hall, but the door was now closed. I pushed it open, but it didn’t budge. I turned the handle. Locked. What the heck? That’s when I saw the keypad to enter a code. I was locked in.

  I looked around for someone, anyone, a nurse, an aide. Surely there was a nurse’s station, although I hadn’t noticed one. Going in the opposite direction, I came to the dining room. Maybe someone there would help me.

  “Excuse me,” I said to one of the kitchen helpers. “I seem to be locked in.”

  The girl looked up at me. “Yes, dear, the doors are locked. Go back to your room now, lunch will be ready soon.”

  “You don’t understand. I’m not a patient here. I need to leave.”

  “Yes, of course dear. Go on now.”

  “Listen, I’m Beatrice Lulu Eberhardt. I am not a patient here.” I pulled my driver’s license from my purse.

  The girl didn’t even look up.

  “Hello…can you hear me?” I darn near screamed. Okay, I panicked. Who wouldn’t, being trapped in a place like this?

  A woman came from what looked like an office. “What’s going on, Melissa?”

  “What’s going on,” I said none too politely, “is I appear to be locked in and this, this girl doesn’t believe me.”

  “Where did you come from and how did you get in?” The woman held her composure, I’ll give her that.

  I pointed to the door. “I was touring the facility, and that door was open so I came in.”

  “That door was open?” She looked from me to Melissa.

  Melissa shrugged.

  “Yes, the door was standing wide open. Now it’s closed and I can’t leave.”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. I thought she was a patient.” Melissa didn’t look up from her task of rolling silverware in napkins.

  “Come with me. I’ll let you out.” The woman turned and headed toward the door.

  I didn’t hesitate and couldn’t get out of there quick enough. I flew through the door once it opened.

  I met up with the group in the solarium and decided it was time to end the tour and return home. Obviously, I wasn’t going to solve this mystery. There were too many people wandering around. Office staff, cleaning people, aides, and so many residents. It could be any number of them. With such a little to go on, I doubted we’d ever figure it out.

  “My advice is to keep your eyes open. If you see someone go into a room, watch and see if they bring anything out. Some of these items would be difficult to hide. I’ll check back in a week or so and see if anything new develops.”

  “Thank you for coming. We’ll keep on the lookout,” Delores said. “It was really nice meeting you.”

  “Ready?” I looked at Ethel.

  “As ready as you are.�
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  We said our goodbyes and left. It bothered me that I couldn’t solve the mystery. I wonder if Callie would have better luck. Not that I’d ask.

  Chapter Ten

  “What’s wrong with your foot, Bea? I’ve noticed you limping around here all morning.” Ed knelt down and looked at my foot. “It’s really swollen.”

  “I don’t know, but it hurts like hell. Almost feels like I sprained it, but I don’t recall twisting it or anything.”

  Ed picked up the phone and started punching numbers.

  “Who are you calling?”

  “The doctor. I don’t like the way it’s puffed-up. If you didn’t twist it or anything, something’s wrong.”

  “It’ll be fine. I’ll ice it and stay off it for a few days.”

  Ed shook his head, completed punching numbers, and made an appointment for that afternoon. It surprised me he got something that soon. It was useless to argue with Ed when he set his mind on something. I resigned myself to seeing the doctor.

  “Good thing you made it for this afternoon. You’re due at the hearing clinic this morning.”

  Ed stiffened. I knew the look, he was about to refuse. “Don’t even think about it, Ed. You’re going to that appointment and that’s all there is to it.”

  “Now, Bea, how many times do I have to tell you, there’s nothing wrong with my hearing?”

  “Right, that’s why you brought me a can of peas yesterday when I asked for cheese.”

  “Well, if you wouldn’t mumble.”

  “Don’t give me that, Ed. I don’t mumble. You have a hearing problem, and it’s not just me you can’t hear. You’re going and that’s that. Now get ready, we’re leaving in half hour.”

  Ed shook his head, He knew when he was defeated, but not for lack of trying. He disappeared into the bedroom and started throwing things around. Like that was going to make any difference.

  A short time later, I sat with the hearing consultant while Ed was in the sound proof booth. I wasn’t sure what all the marks were, but he was making a lot of them with different colored markers.